Serenity
I changed my outfit three times before settling on the first one.
I kept it simple with a black wrap skirt and a cream blouse. It was the outfit of a woman who had nothing to hide, even though I’d spent twelve years hiding everything.
Today was my big day. It would determine if I was going to go to trial, or if I could go home and be with my family.
And I desperately wanted to be with them.
I wanted to nurse Sarai in the comfort of a home that I knew very well.
I wanted to see Aziza for the first time.
I wanted to cook for Rita. I wanted to see the twins and Yusef.
I missed girl time with Mehar and Zainab. And I missed my brothers.
I couldn’t believe this was what it came to. Vivica saved me that night and punished me with it for the rest of her life. Even from the grave, she found a way to make me pay. This bitch was so evil.
I looked at myself in the mirror and barely recognized the woman staring back. Pregnancy had a way of morphing you into someone unrecognizable. The lack of sleep had me looking terrible but I cherished every moment spent with my baby. The pain of not getting rest was temporary.
“You look beautiful.”
Rita’s voice came from the doorway. She was dressed in a navy skirt suit with a string of pearls.
She moved into the bathroom and reached up to straighten my collar with steady hands.
Justice had come up over a week ago and taken Rita to the doctor.
She’s showing early signs of dementia. This shit was so heartbreaking.
She was mostly lucid but every once in a while she would revert to a much younger self.
“You’re going to beat this babygirl. You hear me?”
“What if I don’t grandma? What if they indict me and I gotta stay up here on house arrest?”
“Then I’ll be right there with you. But whatever happens in that room, you hold your head up. You understand me?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Good. Now let’s go show these people who they’re dealing with.”
· · ·
Xander was waiting outside the courthouse when we pulled up.
He was leaning against a black sedan in a charcoal suit with his briefcase in one hand and his phone in the other. He looked up when our car stopped. His face shifted from focused to something warmer when he saw me step out. He pocketed his phone and walked toward us.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Like I want to throw up.”
He smiled. It was small but it reached his eyes. “You’re not going to need to. We’re solid. The evidence they have is circumstantial at best, and everything Vivica planted points back to her, not to you. I’ve spent the last three months taking their case apart piece by piece. Trust me.”
I did trust him. More than I probably should have.
Over the last few months, Xander had become more than my lawyer.
He’d become my calm. Every time the panic rose, every time I spiraled at two in the morning, he was the one who picked up.
He’d talk me down with that steady voice of his.
Focus on what we can control, Serenity. This isn’t going to end with you behind bars.
He said it so many times I almost believed him.
His hand landed on the small of my back as he guided me toward the courthouse steps.
I felt the warmth of his palm through my blouse.
Such a small gesture. Professional, even.
But my body didn’t receive it as professional.
My body was seeking to claim his touch. I wonder if he’s still with that drunk bitch?
“Justice and Rita are already inside with the baby,” he said as we walked. “Prime’s here too.”
“Good.” I needed my family close today.
We entered through a side entrance to avoid the press. Xander had arranged that in advance. He thought of everything.
· · ·
The wait was the worst part.
Grand jury proceedings are closed, so I sat in a hallway on a wooden bench while Xander went inside to present our defense.
Justice sat beside me with Sarai sleeping against his chest in a carrier.
My daughter’s tiny fist was curled around the collar of his shirt.
She had no idea where she was. No idea that her mama’s entire future was being decided in a room thirty feet away.
She just knew she was warm, she was safe, and somebody was holding her.
Rita sat on my other side with her purse in her lap and her back straight. I prayed she was lucid today. I had been so concerned with her since her first episode.
Prime stood by the window at the end of the hall with his arms folded. He’d come up this morning after leaving his family. I was grateful for the sacrifice he made for me.
Twenty-three minutes tick-tocked at glacial speed. That’s how long they were in there. I know because I watched every single one tick by on the clock above the courtroom door.
When Xander finally walked out, I stood so fast I got dizzy. He was walking toward me with his briefcase in his hand and a look on his face that I couldn’t read. My heart was slamming against my ribs.
In a flash he cracked a wide smile and said, “They declined to indict. Your case is dismissed. You’re free, Serenity.”
The sound that left my mouth wasn’t a word.
It was something between a gasp and a sob.
My hands flew to my face because I couldn’t hold it together anymore.
Months of terror came crashing down at once.
Every sleepless night, every moment in that holding cell, every fear that my daughter would grow up visiting me through plexiglass. It all hit me at the same time.
Xander caught me before my knees gave out. His arms wrapped around me. I buried my face in his chest and let go of everything I’d been holding for months. He held me tight, one hand on the back of my head, and let me fall apart against him without saying a word.
When I pulled back to look at him, his face was close.
Closer than I expected. His eyes were right there, brown and steady, and I could feel his breath on my lips.
I don’t know who moved first. Maybe it was me.
Maybe it was him. Maybe it was both of us, pulled toward each other by something that had been building since the first time he sat across from me in that visitation room.
The kiss was brief. Long enough to feel everything and short enough to pretend it didn’t happen. We pulled apart at the same moment, his hands dropping from my waist, my fingers leaving his lapel.
Neither of us said anything.
I turned toward my family. Justice was already standing, Sarai still asleep against his chest. He was looking at me, then at Xander, then back at me. His expression didn’t change but his eyes said everything. He saw that. He saw all of it.
“Come here, sis.” He pulled me into a one-armed hug, careful not to wake the baby. I pressed my lips against Sarai’s forehead and breathed her in. She smelled like baby lotion, warmth, and everything I’d been afraid of losing.
“Thank God,” Rita said softly. She squeezed my hand once, then twice, then held it.
Prime walked over from the window and gave me a hug. “It’s over, sis. Vivica can’t hurt us anymore.”
“Let’s head home,” Justice said. His voice was casual, but I caught him looking at Xander one more time before he started walking. Justice never missed anything. He just chose when to say it.
“How’s Quest and Mehar?” I asked as we moved toward the exit.
“They’re good. They really wanted to be here,” Justice said. “But Aziza’s still in the NICU. She’s getting stronger every day though. Mehar said she’ll call you tonight.”
“I understand.” I meant it. My niece was fighting her own battle and she needed her parents beside her. There would be time to celebrate together later.
We stepped outside into the afternoon sun. The air felt lighter without a murder charge hanging over me, like the whole world had exhaled.
Justice walked ahead with Sarai. Rita held Prime’s arm going down the steps. Xander fell into step beside me, close enough that our shoulders almost touched.