Chapter 16
Millie
I rush across campus, avoiding puddles, the light drizzle that started last night not easing up.
Heavy rain would be better. At least when it’s pouring it down, an umbrella helps—unless it’s fucking with my already terrible sleep schedule—but today, the rain is so fine it hangs in the air like thick fog.
Everything is damp. The rooftops, the manicured lawns, my face, hair, and clothes. Pulling my hoodie higher doesn’t help.
Rounding the lecture building, I head for the cafeteria, in desperate need of caffeine after half-snoozing through my morning classes. I’ve been tossing and turning in bed for three nights straight, barely getting any sleep.
I blame Creed. And Noah. And most of all, I blame Abby. If she’d refrained from having an orgy in our room or remembered the cursed umbrella, I’d be perfectly fine.
Thanks to her, I’m everything but.
Noah’s touch, the way he lit up my body with nothing more than his thigh pressed between my legs, made things worse.
The dreams I had that night dug my hole deeper, and waking up needy, aching, horny all over again, only to find Creed on the edge of the bed, was the last nail in my coffin.
For the first few seconds, I wasn’t sure if he was really there or if I was still dreaming, starting the scene from the top.
My throat closed up when he spoke, making it painfully obvious my arousal was on display. His dark eyes, loaded words, that raspy note in his tone...
I’m still not entirely sure how we ended up sweating at the gym, pushing our bodies through torture, instead of fucking in Noah’s bed.
I took the treadmill, running at full speed as if I could outrun the desire slicking my thighs.
Creed was on the other side of the room, landing one blow after another, the heavy boxing bag swinging back and forth.
I watched the expanse of his shoulders in the mirrors.
He took his t-shirt off as soon as he entered and my breath stuttered same way it did when I saw him shirtless before the fight.
He found my reaction amusing.
I found his body obscenely hot.
Every line of him is honed to perfection. Muscles ripple down his inked chest and abdomen, more on his back, blue-green veins snaking up his forearms and biceps.
I couldn’t stop staring.
“Mini Ward!”
I spin, catching sight of Dash across the quad.
Creed’s with him, leaning against the stone wall, a cigarette in hand, dark hair damp and falling to his forehead.
My pulse picks up pace because I know what’s hiding beneath his Gravemont hoodie since I’ve been staring at his bare chest and back for the last three mornings at the gym, getting up earlier than I normally would, to start my workout at the same time he does.
Now, I can’t stop mentally undressing him.
Dash grins, ushering me over, but I wave my empty coffee cup and push the cafeteria door open. Warmth hits me in the face, my cheeks and nose stinging from the cold outside.
I slip deeper into the room, weaving around groups of people engrossed in conversations, the air thick with the sharp smell of wet clothes and freshly ground coffee.
The bitter scent alone helps clear the fog behind my eyes.
I place my cup in the coffee machine, watching it sputter and hiss before the slow trickle starts. I force my mind into the present while it keeps veering back to waking up in Noah’s bed. I haven’t stopped thinking about it, Creed’s words looping inside my head.
“Don’t act like what you feel is wrong, baby. It’s not.”
Somehow, I doubt fantasizing about two best friends having their way with me at the same time could be considered right.
“Millie!” Abby’s voice cuts through my daydream.
She’s at a long table nearby, surrounded by seniors, two of which I recognize, even with their clothes on.
One fucked her pussy while the other fucked her ass.
She waves me over, beaming from ear to ear as if we haven’t spent the last few days in a quiet state of embarrassment, exchanging the bare minimum of words. A smile is all I can muster before dropping my gaze back to my half-full cup.
“Millie, right?” someone says, slotting in beside me.
I glance sideways, finding the ass guy—Jasper—standing too close for my liking.
“Ward’s little sister,” he adds with a friendly, laid-back smile. “You look nothing like him.”
My eyes narrow, ears filling with the warnings Dash dished out in this very room, pointing out the cool people and those to steer clear of. When he jutted his chin at Jasper, his eyes grew hard.
“Stay away from the blond one and his dimwit buddies, Mini Ward. He and Hyde don’t get along.”
Apparently, they’ve been at each other’s throats since freshman year. They clashed over something stupid at a mixer. Dash can’t even remember what the argument was about, only that Jasper’s pride took a hit.
The tension between them snowballed into a full-blown rivalry pretty fast after that.
In sophomore year, Jasper was obsessed with a girl who wouldn’t stop chasing Hyde.
My brother eventually slept with her, mostly because she made it easy, but Jasper’s been convinced ever since that Hyde did it to spite him.
Knowing my brother, it was a bit of both.
“I know you’re not mute, Millie,” Jasper says. “Abby told us that you talk.”
Not to people I don’t trust.
The coffee machine sputters again, giving me the perfect excuse to turn away from Jasper, but as I snatch my cup and spin to leave, my path is still blocked.
“There she is.” Mateo grins, arms crossed over his chest. “The one who got away.”
My pulse quickens, and mouth goes dry when he steps closer, crowding me. I rein in my quickening pulse, rationalizing while my mind blurs reality and memory.
“Yeah, you looked sweet, watching us with Abby, you know that?” Jasper asks, his shoulder brushing mine. “You would’ve looked sweeter if you’d joined.”
Clutching my cup harder, I straighten my spine.
This isn’t like when Evan and his buddies cornered me in the cafeteria the day I went back to school after recovering from his humiliation for two months.
He was furious with me for filing charges and kept bullying me for the remainder of the year whenever the teachers weren’t looking.
This isn’t like that.
Jasper and Mateo aren’t touching me. They’re not laughing, pulling my hair, or spitting at my feet. They’re just being obnoxious, trying to get a reaction.
If I don’t give them any, they’ll move on.
“Shy little thing, aren’t you?” Mateo chuckles, reaching his hand toward me. “Join in next time, alright?”
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth and my ears burn hot. I’ve thought about sex way too much since walking in on them. I’m constantly wired, and the erotic dreams about Noah and Creed don’t help.
Neither does Abby.
The signal umbrella is now an almost-permanent fixture outside our door, making me wonder whether I should follow her lead, pick a cute guy, and let loose, or maybe ask for a different roommate.
Hyde would make it happen, I’m sure, but despite her hoarding our room every evening, I like her. She’s cool.
Who knows what kind of girl I’d land with next?
“Millie,” Mateo prompts, closing the distance between us.
He catches my chin between his thumb and forefinger, tipping my face up, his dark eyes boring into mine.
My heart skips a beat and body locks in place, every muscle harder than stone.
He searches my face, tilting his head to the side like a curious dog.
I hate that I’m blushing. My breath comes out shallow and judging by his slow smirk, I couldn’t be more obvious if I tattooed virgin across my forehead.
His gaze drops to my mouth. “Fuck,” he breathes, tracing a line along my jaw with his thumb. “Adorable, shy, innocent little thing.” His voice hits a hoarse register. “Let me know when you’re ready. I can pop that cherry for you.”
“How long have you been dreaming about me, princess? How long have you wanted me to pop that cherry?”
I bite my cheeks hard enough to taste blood and force the memory into a small box at the back of my mind.
“Enough, man,” Jasper says, failing to sound casual. “You’re making her uncomfortable, and you know how Hyde gets.” He throws an arm over my shoulders. “Ignore him, Millie.”
Mateo steps back, his hand falling to his side, and Jasper leads me toward Abby, who’s sitting with more seniors, their laughter growing louder the closer we get.
My legs move against my will, a string puppet in Jasper’s hands.
A tremor passes through me and my vision tunnels, the memories I keep a tight lid on spilling and bleeding into reality.
Instead of Abby’s beaming smile, I see mockery twisting the faces of my high school peers.
Instead of easy, melodic laughter, I hear crude cackling.
Instead of the weight of Jasper’s arm, I feel the weight of humiliation when I cried, half-naked, on Evan’s bed.
My heart pounds so hard it makes me dizzy. Nausea twists my stomach, hot and cold flushes whipping me into a frenzy.
Hyde. I need Hyde.
Everything he promised before we set off for Gravemont bounces around my head.
“If someone makes you uncomfortable, come to me, okay?”
“Don’t push yourself, sis. You don’t have to be strong.”
“Confrontation isn’t your forte, Millie. You’re too fragile.”
“Call if you need me, okay? I won’t let you down again.”
“Trust me to keep you safe.”
I twist from under Jasper’s arm, backing away, wide eyes jumping between him, Abby, and the others. Jasper frowns, exchanging a puzzled look with Mateo, his lips parting, but I don’t wait for whatever he’s about to say.
I turn and leave, my chest tight, legs eating the distance across the cafeteria. Every instinct I have screams run, but I walk, refusing to give them the satisfaction of seeing me sprint out. I did that too many times when I went back to school.
And everyone only laughed harder.
I shove the cafeteria door open, stumble outside, and damn near hyperventilate in the crisp air.
Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.
Leaning my back against the wall, I turn my face toward the sky. My skin erupts in goosebumps under the misty rain, helping me crawl away from the overwhelming memories.
It’s lunch time, Hyde should be around here somewhere. So should Dash and Noah. They’re always here when I don’t need them, and the one time I actually do, they’re MIA.
I count my breaths until the pounding in my ears fades but before I’m fully calm, big hands grab my shoulders.
“What’s wrong?” Creed asks.
I gasp at the urgency in his voice and my eyes fly open. His face is inches from mine, dark gaze searching my features, minty breath warm against my cheek. I fill my lungs to the brim, catching the scent of his cologne, shower gel, and smoke.
The echoes of my past fade faster, his proximity doing wonders for my irrational anxiety.
“What happened, Millie?”
Before I can overthink, I drop my forehead to his chest, letting his closeness anchor me in the present. He only hesitates for a second, like he wasn’t expecting this, then quickly wraps his strong arms around me and cradles the back of my head.
“Shh, you’re okay.” His long fingers weave through my hair, sending pleasant shivers down my spine. “What can I do?”
I inhale him again, grasping fistfuls of his hoodie to pull myself closer. He’s so big he could hide me from the world.
If only he could hide me from my past...
“Talk to me, Millie,” Creed whispers, using his thumb to draw small circles at the base of my skull. “Should I get Hyde?”
I nod, holding on to him for fear of losing myself again.
I’m safe. Nothing happened, but I promised Hyde I’d go to him if I felt overwhelmed, and I do. And not just because of Jasper, Mateo, and how easily my memories dragged me under.
But because of Creed, too.