Chapter 34
Creed
I can’t recall the last time I set foot in the library. Must’ve been freshman year when I was still eager to pass my exams. When Gravemont looked like a way out, making life seem a touch easier.
I thought the new environment would change something. I thought it’d offer freedom. It didn’t. The ghost of my past, or rather the demon wearing my father’s face, followed and poisoned what was supposed to be mine.
But that was then and this is now.
I step into the dimly lit building, inhaling the scent of old books, dust, and Millie’s perfume. I’m so accustomed to her scent I’d find her even if I went blind tomorrow.
It’s been twenty-four hours since I buried my nose in her neck, but the honeysuckle mixing with her unique sweetness is unforgettable.
I haven’t touched her since lunch, and I’ve been itching ever since.
Couldn’t focus in classes, my head circling back to her every time I tried hard not to imagine her in my bed.
I promised myself I’d follow her signals, but I’m weak. Always have been. Weak and fucking addicted to her mouth, her pussy, all of her. Every smile, frown, and little quirk, like her unconscious dry doodling.
I find something new to obsess over every single day and no other withdrawal has felt as awful as spending time away from her. Every hour is fucking torture.
My fingers flex uncontrollably, searching for purchase, for the warmth of her skin, the silk of her hair.
My ears perk in the middle of the night, straining to hear her hastened breath, the way she lets out that sweet, perfect gasp whenever we pull back and my lips go to her neck, sucking and biting soft skin.
I barely sleep, and if I do, I dream about her. About those gorgeous eyes, lips, how she tastes, smells, and fits in my arms. I wake up drenched in sweat, hard, and fucking aching all over because she’s not there. Not with me.
Unhealthy doesn’t scratch the surface of this quiet obsession. I’m always on the lookout for her, always waiting for a glimpse like a junkie waiting for another hit.
Even now, stalking the library, I’m damn near shaking. The place is deserted, so silent you’d hear a pin drop, but she’s here. Either reading at the back or going through the stacks, fingers trailing the dusty spines.
The smell of her perfume grows stronger with my every step. Her blonde hair catches my eye at the far end. She’s wearing headphones, listening to her favorite playlist, no doubt, so I don’t worry about the sound of my steps as I round the shelves.
I emerge from the shadows, grab her wrist, and pull her after me. Her eyes grow wide, then settle when she sees me. I don’t give her a chance to think about what’s happening.
There’s a small, secluded alcove at the very back, hidden behind a shelf of books no one ever touches. I drag her in, my pulse sky-high, every fiber in me aware of the way her small hand fits between my fingers, how warm her skin is, her erratic pulse thrumming in the hollow of her wrist.
I don’t think I ever held a girl’s hand like this.
I push her against the wall, grip her throat, and take her mouth, a pained, almost animalistic grunt tearing itself out of me when I taste her. Heat explodes inside my chest and she melts into me, matching my rhythm without hesitation.
Her fingers grab my pullover and she tugs, forcing me to crush her against the stone. She gasps when I inch away, latching onto her neck, my mouth dragging along her thrumming pulse and higher until I bite her earlobe.
“Hey, baby.”
She whimpers when I suck the soft spot, then come back to her lips, my thumb against her jaw, steering her face.
“Missed me?” she asks, locking her fingers over my neck, yanking me lower, as greedy as I am.
“You have no idea.” I suck her bottom lip into my mouth and bite, licking to soothe the mild sting. “You like knowing you drive me crazy?”
“A little... I wondered how long you’d stay away before you gave in and found me.”
A pleasant shudder shakes me from head to toe.
Even though she’s been talking more and more, every word she speaks still feels sacred. Maybe because her words have meaning, they’re calculated, never wasted, and I love when they’re aimed at me.
She pulls back with a smile. “Seven hours. You’re not a very patient man, are you?”
“Not when it comes to you.” I pinch her chin and kiss her again, my fingers bunching the fabric of her sweater.
I lift her, craving the feeling of her arms and legs around me. I can’t get close enough. She clings to me, her hot frame fitting perfectly, and I swear I’d kill to hold on to this feeling.
She sighs and moans when I jut my hips, grinding into her. I’m sure she feels how fucking hard I am. Her fingers dip under the hem of my t-shirt and climb up my chest, then around my ribs. Every soft touch feels sacred.
I kiss her harder, drawing her in, her body melting against mine, boobs pressing into my chest.
“More,” she pleads between kisses. “Please, I want—”
“Shh, baby,” I cut in, moving my mouth to the crook of her neck. “I know what you want, but you need to keep quiet.”
She grabs my right wrist, peeling my hand off her hip and pushes it under her sweater, settling it on her stomach. She’s soft and pliant, and I know she wouldn’t mind my cock right now, but the library is not a safe place for that.
We could get caught...
While the thrill of that sounds appealing, we can’t get any more reckless than we already are no matter how much I need her. And I need her so much I’m struggling to comprehend it.
“Bad girl, Millie,” I rasp in her ear when her hand drops to my zipper. “Not here.”
No sooner than those words leave my lips heavy footsteps echo nearby. My spine stiffens and Millie’s body locks in my arms, wide eyes jumping between mine.
“Millie?” Hyde booms a few bookshelves away.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Letting her go is the last thing I want right now. I need more of her, but her brother calls again, his footsteps growing louder.
Slowly, silently, I set her down, inhaling the addictive scent of her skin and perfume while I can.
“Go, baby,” I whisper.
She slides away, rounding me in the confined space, but before she vanishes, I tug her back into my chest.
“Come over later.”
She rises on her tiptoes, pressing the softest, most tender kiss to my lips, and then she’s gone.
“Hey, what are you still doing here?” Hyde asks. “It’s late, sis. Come on, we’re having drinks at Noah’s.”
***
A sound wakes me in the middle of the night. I sit up, startled, and switch on my bedside lamp. Before I’m fully awake and realize what’s happening, Millie pads across my room, feet bare, a silk robe tied around her waist.
She hesitates a few steps away from the bed, her hands hidden in the sleeves, fingers twisting restlessly.
I’m fucking dumbstruck, my head a bee-hive of thoughts clawing for attention. None get through, though. My heart sinks and pulse soars when I notice her tearful eyes and trembling chin.
She stands there like she’s not sure what to do next or even how she got here.
“What happened, baby?” I ask.
Her throat bobs with a hard swallow, lips part, then close, words trapped in a void.
“Come here.” I hold my hand out.
She moves, one foot after another, then climbs onto my lap, her arms wrapping around my neck.
I grab onto her, snaking an arm around her waist, something monumental shifting inside my chest. The other hand wraps the back of her head as she nuzzles her wet face in the crook of my neck, breathing shakily.
“Shh, I’ve got you,” I whisper.
This is so much different than what we usually have.
She’s not here for sex... she’s here for comfort.
I hate that she’s so distraught, but a sick, twisted part of me loves it too. She wouldn’t be here, wrapped in my arms while fully clothed, if her night didn’t turn to shit.
Her fingers flex against my neck, then dive under the neckline of my pullover, ghosting along my shoulders.
My eyes close on cue.
I tuck her further into me, my thumb drawing a small circle at the base of her skull, fingers tangling in her braided hair.
“Breathe, baby, just breathe. In...” I inhale her scent, filling my lungs to the brim. “And out.”
She follows my lead, her lips parting against my skin. It’s not a kiss, barely an inhale, but it undoes me all the same.
“Good girl, again. Slowly.”
She shudders, but this time I don’t think it’s the tears. She moves her fingers higher, weaving them into the hairs at the back of my head, my heart stuttering at the contact.
“Don’t stop,” I whisper, fisting the side of her robe to keep myself anchored.
I want to grab her face and kiss that sadness right out of her. I want her eyes on me, I want her attention, her touch, but I stay still. She needs me to hold her, not dismantle her defenses, and as hard as it is, as foreign as it feels, it’s fucking divine.
She trusts me. She might get along with Noah best, might talk to him most, might laugh with Dash, and scold Hyde, but it’s me she ran to when things became too overwhelming.
She starts calming down, melting into me, softening under my touch. Her muscles no longer as hard as stone. She’s still not calm, plagued by whatever the fuck happened, but she’s no longer shaking. Untangling one hand from around my neck, she wipes her face.
“Sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about, baby. You can come here anytime. Want to tell me what happened?”
“Just a bad dream...” She nuzzles back into me, her wet eyelashes dragging along my pulse point every time she blinks.
She doesn’t elaborate and I don’t push, holding her for another hour. It’s the first time we neither start nor finish our moment with sex, and when she leaves after sunrise, calmer, and smiling, I let myself hope it’s not the last.