Chapter 1 #3
“He can have his dock outside his office building as long as the city sanctions it,” Lucas says. “Blame the timeline on them.”
His voice is deeper, and I try to see his eyes in the mirror, but they’re cast down. He hasn’t noticed me at all since he’s been on the treadmill.
He nods. “Bye.”
And he ends the call.
He jogs, taking a drink from his water bottle. His brow is pinched, and I don’t like that he still has that look on his face. One he didn’t have when he was in college but certainly developed before he left.
“You should stay longer,” his friend says.
“Come to Dubai more.”
“They look at me funny when they search my luggage.”
His friend grins over at him in the mirror, Lucas looks up, and I dart my eyes down.
“Stop traveling with handcuffs,” Lucas says in a low voice.
My mouth falls open a little.
But then his friend asks, “And use rope instead?”
My mouth is dry again. What the hell?
His pal smiles at Lucas in the mirror. “I guess it won’t set off the metal detectors.”
I slow my pace, the room tilting a little. I blink a few times to refocus. I remember the first time I learned that Lucas had a whole life outside of whatever he let me see.
His jaw flexes, and then as if he knows I’ve been here the whole time, he lifts his chin, meeting my gaze in the mirror.
I can’t catch my breath as my heart knocks against my chest.
“Lucas!” a familiar voice yells behind us.
I startle, seeing Madoc behind me through the mirror, opening the door to a court with two rackets and a ball in his hand.
“Racquetball,” he calls out.
He doesn’t seem to notice me yet.
And now I know. He knew Lucas was here. Maybe that means he just arrived today then.
Lucas hops off the treadmill, grabs his stuff, and whips his towel at his friend. “See you tomorrow.”
The guy nods once. “Tomorrow.”
Lucas and Madoc disappear into a court, and I don’t even notice that the guy next to me is gone until my ride ends. I didn’t pay attention to my speed or resistance at all. I was lost in thought the whole time.
He said on his call that he wouldn’t be away long. Which means he’s not staying.
I should’ve talked to him.
Maybe I’d look into his eyes and see him smile at me, and all of a sudden, realize that my stupid childhood crush was better in my memory. Maybe then I’d be free from this fantasy I always had of him.
I spend another half hour weight training before I drift to the snack bar for a smoothie.
I can still see Jared and Jax out of the corner of my eye, waiting, and I hold up my finger, telling them I’ll only be a minute.
I tie my jacket around my waist, pulling down my cap, but then I hear Madoc’s voice. “Fallon is excited to see you.”
I glance up and then back down, Madoc and Lucas, showered and back in their suits as they stand in line in front of me.
Madoc swipes his card and hands Lucas a straw.
“Ran into her today at the office, actually,” Lucas tells him. “She didn’t tell you?”
“She told me to convince you to stay with us.”
My heart starts pounding again. This would be the perfect time to speak up.
“That’s nice.” Lucas’s voice doesn’t sound right. “I’ll think about it.”
“You like your alone time now, huh?”
Lucas shrugs a little. “I’m used to it.”
I could ask for my compass back. That was the deal we made. He had to come back; if nothing else, to return my compass and get his father’s baseball cap back.
“Stay the summer,” Madoc suggests. “Almost anyone can work remotely now, and she could use you here.”
I see Lucas turn and glance over his shoulder at me. “Uh…” He shifts back to Madoc. “I have to get back as soon as possible, actually.”
No.
He turns a little again, and I know he’s staring at me. I raise my eyes, locking with his.
“Sorry.” He laughs at himself a little as he stares down at me. “It’s just… I used to have a hat like that.”
I can’t talk. I can’t blink. I just peer up at him.
Madoc takes his drink. “You had that hat. That’s Quinn, dude.”
Lucas’s face falls, and Madoc hooks an arm around my neck, planting a kiss on the side of my head. I can’t seem to remember my own language, all of a sudden. I thought maybe he recognized me earlier when he stared, but judging from the look on his face, he’s surprised.
“Hey, guys,” Madoc calls to Jared and Jax, leaving to go talk to them.
I stand there, managing to hide how hard my heart is beating.
Lucas blinks, and here—now—I know that nothing was better in my memory.
I loved his longer hair as a young guy, and his lazy clothes when he loved rock climbing and being a lake bum, but I can see his blue eyes better now, striking with his hard jaw and sun-kissed skin.
I drop my gaze to the crisp white shirt and tie wrapped tightly around his neck.
“I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you,” he says.
I swallow. “It’s been a…a long time.”
He doesn’t have social media. The only pictures of him I’ve seen are from events posted to their company’s socials or news sources.
He breaks into a grin, shaking his head as he comes in. “My big brother’s little sister.” He hugs me. “How are you doing?”
I rise to my tiptoes as my eyes fall closed. He smells like one of the stores my mom takes me to that has a dress code. It’s been so long since I’ve felt his arms, and tears spring to my eyes, I missed him so much.
His hands rest lightly—appropriately—one on the back of my shoulder, the other wrapped around my waist. But his neck presses into my cheek, and my lips part on their own, wanting to feel the smooth, warm skin too. I almost tighten my arms around him.
But I quickly pull away. “I’m...sweaty. Sorry.”
I lick my lips, hearing my brothers chat, and I know he can see how nervous I am. All the times I envisioned his return home, I can’t believe the moment is now.
I clear my throat. “So, how long are you around?”
I know the answer. I heard him tell Madoc and someone on the phone.
But his smile drops, and he thins his eyes a little, gazing at me. “I don’t know...”
The vein in his neck throbs steadily, and I take it back. I don’t really like his suit. I liked him with messy hair and no shirt, like that day at the summer camp.
“Uh, how old are you now?” he asks. “Twenty-ish?”
“Twenty-one.”
“In college then?” he presses.
I open my mouth, but then Madoc is there, with his arm around me.
“Our little Quinn finished at Notre Dame in three years,” he says proudly. “Runs Frosted over on High Street now.”
Lucas looks from my brother to me. “The bakery.”
“Yeah,” I reply.
He smiles again. “I remember your cooking. Missed your pizza.”
My whole body warms. It warms too much, and I’m boiling.
“You okay?” Madoc asks me.
“Yes,” I say, but it comes out as more of a pant. “I need a ride home. Since I’m not allowed to ride my bike or run in the dark.”
Madoc laughs and Jared and Jax walk up.
“We got you,” Jax says.
Yeah, I know. In the far recesses of my brain, maybe it would’ve been incredible for Lucas to give me a ride, but I know that wouldn’t have happened.
They start to walk out, and Lucas takes his drink but drops his straw.
I bend down, but so does he, accidentally hitting the cap off my head.
The long pieces of hair not secured in my braid fall out, and we squat there, only inches between us.
That afternoon at the lake comes back as clear as day when we were under the dock.
I look at him through the locks hanging in my face.
He’s not smiling anymore. And I can’t breathe again.
I pick up the cap. “Here. You said to hold onto it until you got back.”
I hand it to him.
But he shakes his head, gently pushing it back to me. “Hang on to it for a little while longer. I’ll get it before I leave.”
So, I’m going to see him once more before he goes?
I rise and so does he. “Goodnight,” I say.
He doesn’t reply, just looks at me like he’s lost. His gaze lingers on me before his brow deepens and he swallows.
“Quinn?” Jax calls.
But my shoes sprout roots, keeping me locked in front of Lucas for another moment. Then two. You could give me a ride like you used to, I want to say to him. He could tell my brothers we need to catch up. Tell them he wants to see the bakery.
I don’t wait for him to say it, though. I turn and leave, resisting the urge to look back, because my brothers are watching, and I already know what they’ll think.
Lucas Morrow and I are too old to play together now.