Chapter 22
Quinn
I can barely catch my breath as he moves down my neck.
My mind races. He killed somebody?
Or he buried somebody?
Lucas pulls the strap of my dress down, and I stare at him, my eyes welling with tears as now—finally—the son of a bitch wants to touch me in front of everyone.
What I wouldn’t have given, for so long, to have him doing what he’s doing right now? In full view of people who will tell my family, even as the rain has us all in our own worlds. High Street rocks like a giant parade float around us as people dance, kiss, and coast to their own rhythm.
We could be just another man and woman like them, but now, I wish it was any other man but him. Did I ever know him?
I grip his shirt on his shoulders. “Look at me,” I tell him.
He exhales hard, pressing a finger between my legs, underneath my underwear. I squirm in his hold. No.
“Farrow knows the truth, and I don’t?” I bite out. “Is that really why you hid from us? Because of Drew Reeves?”
Someone who never knew him like we do or loved him like I do? He surrendered everything for fear of him?!
His chest shakes, and he tips his head back, letting the rain fall on his face. I jerk him, forcing his gaze to me again. The whites of his eyes are now red.
“Talk to me,” I say.
He searches my face as if looking for a way out, but there isn’t one.
If he ever spoke to me like I deserved to know the damn truth, I’d understand almost anything. Doesn’t he know that?
When he left me at the house earlier, I followed, because I couldn’t stand it anymore. I listened in the bushes and then dove into Carnival Tower and snuck up to the hatch in the roof.
He covered up a crime.
And he owns Green Street.
And Hugo gave him an ultimatum because he sees Lucas as a threat.
That’s all I know. Did he leave because he was forced to? Or because of the guilt?
“Out with it, Lucas.” Enough already.
His lids fall closed.
But just for a moment.
“Life is a force in itself,” he tells me, his tone soft and calm. “One way or another, the bill comes due. More than ever, when you finally figure out the one thing you want most of all in the world.”
He holds me tightly, eyes only for me as the party bounces around us. Aro and Dylan are somewhere, but I barely move, afraid he’ll stop. Am I the one thing he wants?
“Life always makes sure it gets paid,” he muses, a sad smile on his face. “I did what I thought was best for Madoc and for you and for…” He stops breathing. “…and for me.”
I shake my head, my throat swelling with a sob I don’t let out. I don’t understand. He might’ve lost his freedom, and maybe even a few people’s respect if he’d stayed and dealt with whatever happened, but didn’t he lose those things anyway? He’s not free.
He hasn’t been free. Not really. He gave up everything.
Gripping my ass in both of his hands, he holds me close, exhaling over my mouth.
“I don’t want to make another mistake,” he whispers. “Not tonight. I want to take you back to my old house and make love to you in my old room and not stop touching you once until the sun comes up.” Chest tight, he gazes at my mouth. “For once, I know exactly where I’m supposed to be, Quinn.”
My heart feels like it’s melting in a way that hurts.
I close my eyes as his mouth captures mine and he tugs at my lips, sucking and devouring like he’s starving.
Moving one hand to my hair, he presses us together, and I feel everything.
The beat in his chest against mine. The cut of his teeth on my lip, my chin, my jaw…
And I feel everything that’s missing too. The happiness he used to have on his face when he talked to me when we were younger. The way I always felt safe with him. The calm and ease—and the trust—he inspired, just being close.
His teeth grab my skin through the dress, and I suck in air.
Twenty-thousand breaths. That’s what Hugo said.
What happens after twenty-thousand breaths?
“Lucas…” I pant, trying to pry myself out of his hold.
What about tomorrow? In the morning when he has to face everything again? Is he thinking about that at all right now? Is he even really thinking about me?
Planting my hands on his chest, I shove him back. “Lucas.”
I clench my teeth, feeling his chest rise and fall hard under my palms. “What happens tomorrow?” I ask.
His eyebrows pinch together, but he doesn’t say anything.
For one second. Then two. Then five.
God, he has no idea.
“Why do you want me now?” I press.
He didn’t make love to me the other night at my house, or last night in the locker room. Why now?
Is it because he thinks he’s going to be arrested or killed? Would he be doing this without a threat hanging over his head? He isn’t thinking clearly. Does he really want me, or am I just the final nail in the coffin?
Fuck this.
I squirm out of his hold, planting my feet back on the ground. “I don’t want you like this.” I shake my head. “It doesn’t feel good.”
He should sit down, pull me into his arms, and talk to me, and I shouldn’t have to tell him that.
I back up, and he advances. “Come here,” he pants.
“No.” I swallow through the lump in my throat. “I want more.”
This is about him, and it needs to be about us.
I start to look for Aro and Dylan—my ride to get out of here while I still want to—but shouting draws our attention.
“She said no!” Farrow barks.
Lucas jerks his head over his shoulder, both of us seeing Farrow pull Codi away from Noah.
I retreat another step while Lucas is distracted.
Noah gets in Farrow’s face. No one around them is dancing anymore, everyone giving them a wide berth.
I look at Codi, deciding if I should grab her while I can. She just stands behind Farrow, where he put her, her eyes downcast and her expression blank. As usual.
“She didn’t say no,” Noah retorts. “She barely speaks, thanks to you!”
“I said no.” Farrow cocks his head, challenging him. “Hawke bought Aro with a tattoo. You want to fuck one of us, then you know what to do.”
“You’re pissing me off.”
Farrow’s eyes gleam at Noah’s anger. “Well, whatever will you do with me, then?”
Some of Noah’s racing buddies pull him away; although, the threat stretches between his and Farrow’s gazes, and more dumb shit is going to hit the fan sooner or later.
The dancing resumes, Farrow and Codi lost in the throngs of people, and I almost think I see the Dodge far beyond Lucas, cruising to the next block. Everything’s foggy. My heart thumps against my chest.
I can’t keep my voice from cracking as I address Lucas, “I’m not your suicide note.”
He twists back to me and digs in his brows, breathless with sweat on his neck.
I won’t be his last dance on his way to self-destruct.
“Why do I feel like I don’t know you all of a sudden?” I ask more to myself. “I want someone who will fight for me. Who will always fight for me.”
Whipping around, I slip through the crowd, searching for Aro and Dylan.
“Quinn!” Lucas growls behind me.
I glance back, seeing his six-three form squeezing through the partiers.
Halting in front of Dylan, I hold out my hand. “Give me your keys.”
She stops dancing and narrows her eyes, absently pulling them out of her pocket. “What are you up to?”
I snatch them, hearing Lucas behind me. “Quinn!”
I flinch, his bark turning into a bite.
“Quinn?” Dylan prompts next.
I turn back to her, but before I can reply, I blink, seeing it again. Far behind her head, on the street.
“The black Dodge,” I murmur.
Aro and Dylan turn, catching a glimpse of it as it disappears down the cross street.
“Quinn!” Lucas bellows again.
I shake my head clear. I need to get out of here.
I bolt, twisting my head around as I go to see Lucas staring me dead in the eyes as he shoves some guy out of his way.
Firecrackers pop and sizzle over our heads, and he’s beautiful.
His wet shirt sticks to every dip and ridge of his torso and stomach, and his jaw has a day of scruff on it.
I’ve waited for this night with him practically my whole life, but it’s not him anymore.
He’s hiding, he’s afraid, and he’s lying.
I run, pounding the pavement in my sneakers to where Dylan parked one of my brother’s Mustangs, both she and Aro hot on my heels.
“Quinn!” Lucas shouts.
I suck in a breath as I glance up the street, catching the Dodge’s taillights disappearing around a right-hand turn.
“What are we doing?” Aro bursts out as all of us climb into the car.
I stick the key into the ignition. “I don’t know.” I tremble. “Maybe follow that Dodge for a change.”
“Ohhh,” Dylan coos excitedly.
I don’t know why I’m doing this, but everything under my skin burns, and I ball my fist, nearly slamming it down on the damn dash.
Damn him.
I need a distraction. I check the rearview mirror, then glance over my shoulder to make sure no cars are coming, and pull away from the curb, not even bothering to put on my seatbelt.
A thud lands on Dylan’s trunk as I speed off. “Quinn!” Farrow shouts as I drive.
I spot him and Lucas in my side mirror, Lucas’s furrowed brow fading as I escape.
Spinning the wheel, I curve a right, then another, heading back after the Dodge. Aro taps away on her phone.
I’m squeezing the wheel so hard, my thumbnails press onto the tops of my fingers. “Who are you texting?”
I don’t want any interference.
“Hawke.”
Dylan hangs over the back of my seat.
“Why?” I blurt out.
“Because he’s my boyfriend.”
Yeah, he’s also invasive and domineering, and he’ll tell Lucas or my brothers what we’re doing.
But then…
I think better of it. “Tell him to scan the traffic cams.”
No harm in him being useful before he scolds us.
Taking another right, I keep my eyes peeled for pedestrians, but mostly for the car as we pass Astrophysics. I lock my gaze ahead on two red taillights cutting left. “There it is.”
Stepping on the gas, I race to catch up and close the distance between us and the Dodge.
No one speaks. The old black car coasts right ahead of us, making no move to outrun us.
“What do we do?” Dylan whispers as if it can hear us.