Chapter 27 #2
His jaw tightens, and he lowers his gaze again.
“Out with it, Lucas.”
He moves to the kitchen island and leans his ass on one of the stools.
“Drew Reeves used to be one of my best friends.” He clasps his hands in front of him. “That’s how awful my judgment was, and how little you saw me for how weak I could be.”
He was friends with a dirty cop. I didn’t know they were that close, but I’d heard as much already.
He peers over at me. “Did you ever notice that I always looked for you in a room when you were growing up?”
No.
I looked for him.
“You probably thought I was being nice,” he goes on, “to make sure you were included in card games or had someone to talk to on road trips or had someone to practice your baking skills on, but the truth is, I felt like we were in the same boat, for some reason.”
“Pairs,” I murmur. “Everyone else was in a pair.”
“Yeah.”
Both of us looking for our niche, our spot.
He continues, “I used to see you trying to keep the peace any time there was an argument…”
Trying to be useful. Valuable.
“Or always doing exactly what you were told as if you knew the pain that was wrought to bring you into the world—”
I think back to Madeline, Madoc’s mother, and all the pain she was caused because my parents couldn’t stay away from each other.
“—and it was like you were trying to earn your right to exist.”
My chin trembles. Is that what I was doing?
“Same as me,” he adds. “Having you around made me feel like I had a place. Until I decided that I needed to find my own.”
I wipe my eye. I had no idea he felt like that. Madoc—and the rest of the family—would be devastated to know that.
“Madoc had fulfilled his duty long enough,” he tells me, “and no matter how much I loved him, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the responsible thing to do was to not be a burden anymore and leave him alone.”
But I protest. “Madoc loves you. He would never—”
“I know.” His eyes soften on me. “My insecurities were louder then, though.”
I almost smile. I know what that feels like.
He clears his throat. “So I went to college and made new friends, and we wanted some place to hang out, so I bought Green Street.”
I listened as he told me everything. The idea of a social club—a place to network and party and, on their better days, use it for community outreach and revitalization in Weston. Young men, looking for business investments, would be able to snatch up property in a town like that cheaply.
Of course, as smart as Lucas is, he mistakenly assumed everyone was as good and as honest as Madoc, and he actually believed that Green Street would be good for the town.
Reeves took over, his friend having a master plan the entire time to foster a criminal enterprise and take advantage of a desperate population. People got hurt, arrested…
“Green Street and predators like Hugo Navarre exist because of me,” he explains. “Aro and all those other people were hurt because of what I helped start. It took on a life of its own, and I still don’t know how to end it.”
I move a little closer, just the couch between us. “Madoc would’ve helped—”
“One night,” he cuts me off, the story still not finished. “I challenged Reeves. We’d drive a junk car into the river. If he bailed first, he’d disband his tawdry little club. If I bailed first, I’d never step foot in Weston again.”
And I know the rest because Green Street still exists, and Lucas left the country. “You lost.”
“The moment I heard a scream coming from my trunk as water filled the car,” he retorts.
My heart sinks.
I knew someone died, but my God… For a second, I can put myself in the trunk. The horror of watching the water gushing in and being trapped, unable to escape.
And I can put myself in Lucas’s place, hearing the screams and knowing you can’t stop a sinking car.
My stomach knots.
“He was a cop with access to evidence and digital records,” he points out. “He could’ve forged anything, and he had a whole crew of men to say I did it on purpose.”
Piece of shit…
Drew made sure, no matter what, he was going to win that night. Son of a bitch.
I almost laugh at myself. Almost.
I understand my parents and brothers a little more now.
Lucas made decisions he thought were harmless, not seeing until it was too late how fast your life can change.
In one moment, he could’ve walked away. In the next, someone died.
All the people who love me have experienced firsthand how detrimental seemingly easy decisions can turn out.
“I still would’ve told,” he assures me. “Until he threatened Madoc and Fallon and…”
I lift my eyes, Lucas blurry behind my tears.
…and all of us. Reeves threatened everyone he cared about.
If he could frame Lucas, he could frame my brothers too.
“I stayed for a while after that.” He starts moving toward me.
“As close as I could to make sure you all stayed safe. But months later, I couldn’t look in the fucking mirror anymore.
Someone was dead, and I wanted to die.” He pauses, the rims of his eyes red.
“You think you know who you are and what you stand for, and it’s all shot to shit with a series of abominable decisions that kill any anticipation for the future.
I wanted to go to the cops. I want to right now. ”
He stands there, his T-shirt stretched over his chest as he slides his hands into his pockets. His eyes hold mine, pain etched on his brow as he stares at me as if waiting.
Does he think I hate him?
My heart aches, looking at him so far away.
“Come here,” I whisper.
He stays planted in place, his mouth opening and closing, like he’s trying to resist me.
But the only way out is through, and we start now. I could never hate him.
“Come here,” I tell him again.
He hesitates, but only for a moment. In two seconds, he’s in front of me, brushing my cheek, my hair, and then pulling me close. “I’m going to put everything back together,” he says, his voice strained. “But first, I need to make sure you’re safe.”
I stare at him through watering eyes. “What are you going to do?”
We hug, and he squeezes me so tightly, I can barely breathe.
“I’m going to go after him.” He tucks my head into his neck before I can tense. “And then they can put the handcuffs on me, and whatever happens, happens.”
I startle, sucking in a breath. “Lucas, no.”
I push against his hold, lifting my eyes to his. It could end badly. It will end badly. I could lose him forever.
Hasn’t he learned anything? He needs his family. We can help. Madoc needs to know everything. Now.
He holds my face, his hard voice steady and sure as he tells me again without hesitation, “I’m going to make you safe.”