22.
Maggie
I didn’t understand why I was crying. The picture, done in paint and charcoal, was clearly Shay’s work. I studied the array of colours, the intricate detail. How long had he spent on it? The image was of a woman sitting on a bed. Her long, auburn hair fell down her naked back, her face turned towards the window. The profile and body shape were familiar. No, not merely familiar. Mine.
The picture somehow encouraged the eye to travel down my hair where it evolved into a flock of birds of every variety and colour. The birds flew out the window, where my gaze was levelled, as though watching them fly away.
Only last week, I’d asked Shay for one of his paintings to hang on my wall, but I’d meant something he’d already created, something small. It took up almost the entire space. I was touched he’d overcome his hesitancy to share his work, that he’d made it … for me. It was a masterpiece, truly. I had no idea how he’d gotten into my flat, but I suspected Siobhan and her spare key had something to do with it.
Again, I was struck by the tenderness in how he’d captured me. I found myself lowering onto the floor and staring up at it, trying to decipher the meaning. Was there a meaning? It was beautiful, yes, but it was also imbued with … something. There was a palpable message Shay was trying to tell me.
I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting there staring up at the picture when I noticed a small detail in the wing of a tiny brown bird. Standing, I stepped closer. Shay had written a message camouflaged into the feathered wing. I took me a moment to read.
Like the birds, she fascinates me.
I fascinated him?
Emotion wedged in my throat, anda tear trickled down my cheek. Goosebumps rose on my skin, while butterflies wreaked havoc with my insides. I never imagined anyone would see me as Shay did. I was resigned to be on the periphery, observing the world, alone in it. But then he came along and opened me up. He made me love him. Shay was so intrinsically himself it was impossible not to fall.
Without realising, I’d already picked up my phone. I was too emotional to call him, but I managed to compose a text.
It’s stunning. Thank u.
His response came soon after.
I love you.
A few moments passed, and I couldn’t hold back my reply.
Love u, 2.
Now, I was full on crying. A part of me wanted to go him. Run through the streets until I was at his door, but it was the middle of the night, and I was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. A final message arrived.
I’ll pick you up tomorrow, drive you and the kids to see your mother.
His text reminded me of what lay ahead, and the butterflies that had filled my stomach suddenly had wings of sharpened steel. Tomorrow was going to be a rough day, and I was so thankful to Shay for offering to drive us. I needed all the support I could get.
C u in the morning then, I typed and hit send.
***
I set my alarm for a little later than normal because I didn’t have to pick the kids up until mid-morning. But even with the extra hours of sleep, I was still wrecked when I woke, my emotions conflicted. A part of me wanted to cancel and stay home, but the other part knew I couldn’t let Vivi down. She wanted to see Mam, and I promised I’d bring her.
Dragging myself to the bathroom, I took an extra-long shower, the hot water sluicing over me, scalding my skin. I blow dried my hair, put on some makeup and dressed in jeans and a warm cable knit jumper. Nothing could combat the dread in my stomach over seeing Mam, not even the beautiful artwork that hung on my wall. Art created by a man who loved me and who I loved in return.
I was no longer upset over the Nigel thing. My feelings had mended on that front. I just wasn’t sure how to communicate to Shay he didn’t need to continue bending over backwards for me. He just had to be himself. That was all I needed.
I heard Siobhan outside talking to someone. Peering out the window, I saw Shay had pulled up. He stood by the car, arms folded while Siobhan spoke to him. I quietly opened my window the tiniest bit to hear what she said.
“Did she like it?” she asked, and Shay nodded, but then shrugged as if to say, She likes it, but I’m not certain if it’s enough to fix what I broke. A hollowness filled my chest to see him so unsure. He had no idea how the painting made my heart soar, how I could barely stop looking at it.
“Well,” Siobhan replied, hand on hip. “If she doesn’t forgive you after seeing that painting …” Trailing off, she shook her head. “Maybe she doesn’t deserve you.”
So, it had been Siobhan who let him in last night. I’d have to have a word with her about that. Shay’s expression clouded, and I noticed Siobhan turn her head a little towards my window, a knowing smile tugging at one corner of her mouth. Damn, the woman had the hearing of a bat. She knew I was eavesdropping.
Easing the window shut, I went to grab my things. There was a gentle knock on my door a minute later. My eyes went again to the painting, affection for Shay tugging at me. I needed him to know how much it meant to me. I thought of the past week, how he’d been chauffeuring me to and from work, feeding me. And now that painting that was so full of feeling it was almost difficult to look at.
Opening the door, all the air left me when I saw him. Shay looked handsome but tired, and I fought the urge to pull him into my arms, to kiss him until we were both gasping for breath.
“Thanks for coming. You really didn’t have to,” I said.
Shay tilted his head, glancing inside my flat. His eyes went to the picture, then to me. I tucked some hair behind my ear, feeling entirely too seen. I moved towards him, placing my hand on his chest. “I know I said thank you yesterday, but I wanted to say it again in person. Thank you. It’s such a beautiful piece. It’s a privilege to have it on my wall. I think I spent about two hours just looking at it when I got home last night.”
Shay’s eyes lowered to my hand pressed firmly over the fabric of his jacket. Then those eyes lifted, burning into me. My pulse fluttered, and I withdrew my hand. “We should probably—”
Before I could finish, Shay grabbed my wrist, spinning me back around. His eyes found mine, checking in, gauging how I was feeling. I inhaled sharply and leaned forward, our noses touching. Then our lips found their way to each other, meeting gently. It felt organic, inescapable. My breathing stuttered as his lips caressed mine, slowly opening me up. I willingly accepted, and before long, the kiss grew more impassioned, desperate …
I broke away, gasping for breath, my hands once more pressing to his jacket. I didn’t know if I was holding him at bay or grasping for my own self-control. Closing my eyes, I found some composure. “There isn’t time.”
Shay fingers came to my chin, tipping it up. I opened my eyes. His held a message, a promise.
Later, then.
I nodded, gathering myself as I motioned to the large bag that held the kids’ Christmas presents. I was going to wait until after the visit before I handed them out. If things didn’t go so well with Mam, then at least the presents afterwards might take away some of the sting.
“Do you mind if I store that in the car?”
Shay nodded, grabbing the bag for me. Walking by him, I stepped out of the flat, and he followed suit, waiting for me to lock my door. I was still full of butterflies, my head dizzy from the kiss. Shay stowed away the presents, then stepped over to the passenger side and opened the door for me. I murmured my thanks, and once I was seated, he went around and slid into the driver’s seat.
Grabbing his phone from the middle console, he typed, “Are you going to be all right today? I can take the kids to see your mother and you can wait outside if you’d prefer?”
I shook my head. “No, I … I need to do this. If I don’t, I’ll just feel like a coward.”
“You wouldn’t be a coward. You’d be protecting yourself. And all I ever want to do is help protect you, Maggie.”
“I know that,” I breathed. “And I’m grateful, but this is something I need to face.”
Shay’s eyes flickered between mine before he nodded and started the car. By the time we reached Delia and Ken’s house, I’d managed to calm down a little. Shay turned off the engine and came in with me. The kids were curious about him, especially when they found out he was mute. Eamonn, the youngest, began peppering him with questions, and I had to keep reminding him Shay couldn’t respond in the usual way.
Vivi seemed eager but nervous. I knew she was excited, and I just hoped our mother managed to pull herself together enough to be kind to Vivi for the duration of the visit. Shay started loading the kids into the back of the car when Delia drew my attention.
“Do you think they’ll be okay?” she asked.
We stood by the front door, and her eyes were on the children. For the first time, I saw a genuine concern for them. She might not have been the most involved foster parent, but she did care for the kids in her own way.
“I don’t know. My mother can be unpredictable,” I answered honestly and saw worry etch her features. “But no matter what happens, they’ll have you and Ken to come back to. They have a solid base with you, and that’s no small thing for a child.”
“Thank you for doing this,” she said then, and I nodded, tugging my scarf higher around my neck before I went to join Shay and the kids. The four of them were surprisingly chipper on the journey. It wasn’t a long drive, about fifteen minutes, but they chatted and giggled the entire way there. I tried to see things from their perspective. As far as they were concerned, it was a fun day out to a new place. Their memories of Mam were so distant they didn’t feel apprehensive.
Their easy camaraderie was at odds with the nervous tension that had me in a chokehold. Shay found a parking spot not too far from the prison, pulling me aside when we got out. His hand rose to the side of my face, and I didn’t know what he was doing until he slid an air pod into my ear.
“I’ll wait here until you’re done,” he typed. “Text me if you need me to come get you, and I’ll be right there. I’m so proud of you.”
I gripped his hands in mine, levelling my gaze on his. “Thank you,” I breathed, peering up at him. “For being here. This would all be so much harder without you.”
And then I pressed my lips to his, just a whisper, before withdrawing. Shay’s expression was tender. Vivi shot me a knowing grin, and there were a few “Yucks” and “Ewws” from the others. It was such a typical kid response, and the humour of the moment cut through my tension a little.
Shay and I shared a smile before I let go of his hands and stepped back, returning his air pod and flushing at the heat behind his smile, my heart pounding. We’d found our way back to a good place. It was impossible not to notice.
When he returned to the car to wait, I took Eamonn and Shelly’s hands, while Robbie and Vivi walked alongside us. It turned out Christmas Eve was a busy day for visitors, and we had to wait in line.
It was a surreal experience to go through the security check, prison guards searching our belongings and making sure we weren’t concealing any contraband. I was bothered when they searched Eamonn because he was so young, but I knew it was part and parcel of entering a prison.
Before long, we were brought to the visiting room, where lots of families sat at tables catching up. My gaze travelled across the room to where a familiar figure sat. Air stagnated in my lungs. She looked smaller than I remembered her, a few greys peppered through her hair that was an identical shade to mine. Our eyes met, and I didn’t feel how I expected to. Those last few years, my mother had been a phantom in my mind, a dark cloud that hovered over everything I did, every choice I made.
Now, looking at her, she just seemed like an ordinary, harmless middle-aged woman. Not someone to be feared. Then again, it was never a physical fear with her; it was an emotional one. She was the only person in the world who could shatter my confidence and reduce me to nothing with a few carefully chosen words.
Her gaze, which was blank and hard to gauge, left me, only brightening when she turned to the children. Vivi, Robbie and Shelly approached her first because they remembered her more, while Eamonn hung back, still holding my hand.
“Oh my God, look how big you’ve all gotten,” she said, taking in the elder three.
“Hi, Mam,” Vivi said, her eyes a little shiny.
“And Eamonn. My baby, what a little man you’ve grown into. Come here, so I can have a proper look at you.”
I sent him an encouraging glance, and he finally let go of my hand, shyly approaching Mam. I hung back, sitting at the farthest end of the table, while Mam asked the kids all sorts of questions about Ken and Delia, their school, friends, hobbies. They were such normal questions to ask, and I was strangely startled by the mundanity of it all. I’d been a ball of anxiety leading up to the visit, but now we were there, and it was all just so ordinary.
Then I noticed one or two of the other inmates cast wary glances Mam’s way. It tipped me off my mother had power in there. Whatever hierarchy existed in that small female prison, she’d climbed high, and she was feared.
“Mags,” Mam said, finally addressing me. “You’re looking well.”
“Thank you,” I replied stiffly. “You, too.”
She gave a scoff and let the lie slide, changing the subject. “How is your work? Are you still cleaning houses?”
I was about to reply that yes, I was still cleaning houses, because I didn’t want her knowing too much about my life.
“No, Maggie has a new job,” Vivi provided. “Her brother hired her.”
I pressed my lips together. I couldn’t blame Vivi for answering truthfully. She didn’t know Mam like I did, didn’t understand how she was the sort of person to use seemingly innocuous details against you. Then again, I had planned on bringing up Jonathan and my biological father who she’d lied to me about. I just hadn’t built up the nerve yet.
Something flickered behind Mam’s eyes. It was almost reptilian, and I started to remember she wasn’t harmless or ordinary. That was just the facade. Beneath it was a person who was always searching for weaknesses and opportunities. Bits of information she could use to her advantage.
“Your brother?” she asked, her tone casually curious.
“He’s Gerard Murphy’s son,” I stated bluntly. “You know, the father you never told me about? He found me because Gerard died about a year ago, and his name was on my birth certificate.”
She folded her arms and sat back. “Yeah, well, you weren’t missing out on anything. I did you a favour not telling you about that rat bastard.”
Eamonn’s eyes grew wide, while Shelly let out a little gasp hearing the swear word.
“Maybe soften your language in front of the kids,” I said quietly, and Mam’s eyes hardened. Her glower vanished, her expression softening when she looked to Vivi. “Why don’t you and the others go grab yourselves some snacks from the vending machines? Maggie and I need a little chat.”
“I don’t have any money,” Vivi said, and I immediately dug in my purse for some coins before handing them over. The kids left, and I glanced back at Mam. She was watching them go.
“It’s a damn shame they have to live with those strangers. I would’ve thought you’d take them in,” she said, but I didn’t let the criticism penetrate. I refused.
“They’re only strangers to you. And personally, I think it’s more of a shame their mother is in prison.” My retort had a sharp, cruel grin curving her lips.
“Well, you have me there, now, don’t you.” She looked away, clasping her hands together before returning her attention to me. “So, tell me about this brother of yours. What kind of work has he got you doing?”
“I’d rather you tell me about my father. By the sounds of it, there was a big age gap between the two of you.”
For the first time, I saw a flicker of vulnerability in her expression, but it was gone in an instant. “Dirty old perv,” she spat. “I didn’t see I was being taken advantage of at the time. He had his own place and a car. I thought I’d bagged myself a catch. I could leave my parents’ house and start off fresh. It’s only looking back I realise I was no more than a child, and he was old enough to be my father. That’s what you come from, Maggie. Are you satisfied to know your old man was a scumbag pervert? You should be thanking me. I saved you the heartbreak of knowing him.”
I still had the heartbreak of knowing you, though, didn’t I?
“That wasn’t your decision to make.”
“Yeah, well, what’s done is done. The prick is in the ground, and you dodged a bullet, but clearly you have no intention of thanking me. You were always like that, ungrateful. All this time, I thought you’d eventually come around and pay your poor mother a visit, but no. I don’t hear a whisper in eight years. You’re cold-hearted, Maggie. That’s the truth.”
I didn’t know whether to lash out or laugh at that statement because she was the most cold-hearted woman I’d ever known.
Inhaling sharply, I managed to keep my cool. “I’m sorry you fell victim to a man like Gerard. You were young, and your parents should’ve looked out for you.”
She sniffed. “I could take care of myself.”
“Right, but you shouldn’t have had to.”
She was quiet then. I had no idea what was going through her head. I thought maybe my sympathy had softened her enough to just talk to me without scheming or digging for information. I knew it wasn’t to be when she brought the conversation back to Jonathan.
“Tell me about the brother, then. If he’s anything like Gerard, I can’t imagine he’s a decent bloke. What business is he in?”
“I haven’t gotten to know him very well yet, but he seems like a good person so far. Gerard wasn’t really in his life either. His mother raised him.” I didn’t answer her question about his business because I knew that was the information she was really after. She wanted to know if it was lucrative. I saw the flicker of annoyance in her eyes. She wasn’t very good at masking it.
“And you like working for him? It must pay well. You know, I could do with a few quid in my commissary—”
“I’m not giving you money,” I said, cutting her off. My heart sank because that was always what it came back to with her. I knew her hard life had misshapen her, but I’d had a hard life, too. It didn’t turn me into an opportunist who valued people only for what they could provide.
Mam’s expression soured, her lips tightening, eyes narrowing to slits. “I don’t need your money,” she spat, then leaned forward, firmly gripping my forearm and digging her fingers in. I tried to pull away, but her grip was too tight. I was surprised none of the supervising guards noticed. “I just thought it would be a nice gesture because it’s Christmas and all, but I forgot I was dealing with a spiteful little cunt.”
There was a shocked gasp, and Mam immediately let go of my arm. We both looked to find the kids had returned. Vivi was the one who gasped, her hands going over Eamonn’s ears. Robbie was frowning, and Shelly’s eyes welled up like she was about to cry.
“Don’t talk to her like that,” Robbie demanded, stepping forward.
“That wasn’t for your ears, son,” Mam said. “Maggie and I were having a conversation for grownups.”
“I don’t think grownups should call each other the c-word,” Robbie countered. “It isn’t nice.”
“Ah, here,” Mam replied, softening her features and ignoring what he said. “Come and sit back down. I’ve missed you all so much.”
“I want to go home,” Shelly said quietly, a quiver in her voice, and Eamonn nodded in agreement.
Mam’s soft expression suddenly hardened. “You want to go home? Go, then. You’ve all enjoyed pretending I don’t exist for eight years, might as well go on doing the same for another eight.”
“They’re children,” I said. “It wasn’t in their power to—”
“Oh, do fuck off, Maggie. I don’t need the holier than thou act. You always liked to imagine you were better than me, but you’re not, especially not with a father the likes of Gerard Murphy.”
My heart frosted over as I stared at her. “I didn’t think I was better than you. All I ever wanted was for you to be my parent and take care of me, love me, but you weren’t capable of that.”
She didn’t seem to have any response other than to shake her head and fold her arms like I was being melodramatic.
When I looked to Vivi, she seemed shattered. Whatever hopes she’d had about Mam being redeemable cracked and folded. Rising from my seat, I took Shelly’s hand. “Come on, it’s time to go,” I said.
“Yeah, go on, leave,” I heard Mam say derisively as we went. “Waste of my time.”
“She was so nice at first,” Vivi whispered, shaken, when we emerged from the building. I inhaled a big gulp of air, feeling like I could finally breathe again.
“Don’t take it personally. That was all about me, okay? We just …” I trailed off. My relationship with our mother was difficult to explain in one sentence. “We rub each other the wrong way,” I finally finished. It was the most PG answer I could give in front of the younger children.
“She’s mean,” Eamonn said, his little face drawn and serious. I hated seeing him look that way.
“She’s a fu—” Robbie began, but he shut up when he saw the warning look I gave him. I had a fair idea what he was about to say, but then he finished cheekily, “A fudging witch. She’s a fudging witch.”
Suddenly, Vivi burst out laughing, and then the others joined in, too. I couldn’t help the grin that tugged at my lips. Trust a twelve-year-old boy to figure out a creative way around swearing.
I was grateful to him for lightening the mood, though. Vivi came and linked her arm through mine. “I think I get it now, why you didn’t want to visit her.”
“She’s a complicated person,” I said. “But she’s still our mother. I understand why you want to know her.”
“That’s the thing. I’m not sure if I do anymore.”
“You don’t need to decide now. You might change your mind,” I said, casting her a gentle look.
Vivi nodded, and I spotted Shay emerge from the car. My spirits lifted when I saw him. If the sight of my mam filled me with tension and dread, then the sight of Shay filled me with the opposite. Seeing her today was a good thing. If nothing else, it reminded me how much better my life was without her in it. I didn’t need to feel guilty for cutting her out. My mam was who she was because her life and circumstances had shaped her that way. She’d been hurt and neglected, and I felt for her in that regard, but being around her was just volunteering myself for guaranteed suffering. Maybe it was selfish, but I had no problem being selfish on this issue. It was either that or let her hurt me. And I refused to let her hurt me any longer.
“He’s so hot,” Vivi sighed, gazing at Shay. “You’re lucky, Maggie. He’s clearly obsessed with you. I wish a boy could be obsessed with me like that.”
I was surprised she’d noticed Shay’s feelings for me because she’d only observed us together for a short while that morning. I was also surprised by her interest in boys. Well, I wasn’t naive. I knew she was coming to that age, but it was still disconcerting.
“You’re too young for boys to be obsessing over you. Wait a few years, please, for my sanity and peace of mind,” I cast her a suffering look, and she chuckled, her mood improved since we’d left the prison.
“Okay, maybe I can wait a little while longer,” she allowed as we reached Shay. His astute gaze wandered over each of us, trying to figure out how the visit had gone. I stepped up to him and immediately threw my arms around his neck. My body sank into his, his comforting arms wrapping around my waist. When he drew away, he studied me, gauging my emotions.
“I’m okay,” I told him quietly. “Thank you for waiting. I’ll tell you all about the visit later.”
Shay nodded, and I turned to the kids. “Well, is anyone hungry? How about a Happy Meal for lunch?”
Their eyes immediately lit up and I knew it was the right suggestion. Eamonn loved his Happy Meals. We piled into the car, and Shay drove us the short distance to the nearest McDonalds. We were lucky to find a table big enough for all six of us in the back because it was Christmas Eve, and the place was packed with families and hyperactive kids.
When we were finished eating, I handed out the gifts I’d stowed in the car. A hair styler for Vivi, a football kit for Robbie, a new dress for Shelly and roller blades for Eamonn. They were all thrilled with their presents, and Shay seemed amused by their excitement. Lots of kids got endless presents on Christmas day, but those kids typically only got one or two, so they were always very happy, no matter what they received.
I was so proud of them, especially for how well they’d dealt with Mam. No one had cried or thrown a tantrum. They’d somehow figured out on their own she wasn’t ever going to be their mother in the traditional sense. It shouldn’t have surprised me. The kids had been through a lot of upheaval in their short lives. They were mature far beyond their years.
Before long, it was time to drop them home. Shay waited in the car while I went into the house and had a quick chat with Delia and Ken. Both seemed relieved when I told them I didn’t think the kids would be asking to visit their mother again any time soon.
When I returned to the car, it felt so much quieter without the kids’ chatter. Shay silently pulled back out onto the road, and I stared through the window at all the houses lit up with Christmas lights.
Somewhere along the way, I closed my eyes, only realising I’d drifted to sleep when Shay nudged me awake. I blinked, noticing the car was stationary, and we were parked outside my flat. Shay’s expression was tender as he took me in, and I blushed, embarrassed for having fallen asleep.
“What a day,” I said with a yawn as I released my seatbelt. “Thanks again for driving us, and, well, just for being there. I really appreciated it.”
Shay picked up his phone to type. “The kids seemed a little subdued after the visit. What exactly happened with your mother?”
I blew out a breath. “She was fine at first, but then Vivi let slip about my new job and finding out I had a brother. Mam started digging for info, eventually hinting at me giving her money. I told her no, and the mask slipped. She got aggressive with me, called me an ugly name I won’t repeat. The kids were upset. I’m not sure if they’ll want to go see her again after that. It’s sad because she could have a relationship with them if she just put a little effort in.”
“I’m sorry,” Shay typed. “I wish it had gone better.”
“Yeah, me, too,” I said, meeting his gaze. His dark green eyes were gentle, caring, and I didn’t want to be without him tonight. That was probably why I blurted, “Come in for a little while. I’ll make tea.”
Shay nodded, climbing from the car and coming around to my side to open my door for me. It was strange to be around someone who treated me so chivalrously. I’d spent my whole life opening my own doors. It was going to take some getting used to having Shay around.
When we were inside, I turned on a lamp, then went to switch on the string of fairy lights I’d hung a few days ago. I also put up a small Christmas tree in the corner, feeling the need to make the place a little bit festive. The lights and the tree cast an unexpectedly romantic glow over the room.
“Make yourself comfortable,” I said to Shay, feeling a little self-conscious when I looked his way. His eyes were blazing, his heated expression causing my pulse to race. I wanted him so much. Not being with him all week had been torture. We’d kissed today, but I still felt the need to bridge the gap, let him know all was forgiven, and he could touch me, come as close as he wanted, whenever he wanted. I sensed his hesitancy, so I stepped forward and took his hand in mine. Lifting it, I gently kissed his knuckles.
“You don’t have to keep your distance,” I whispered, my eyes meeting his as I studied his reaction. His throat moved, just the barest flicker. Then his gaze went to my bed before returning to me.
The faintest smile shaped my lips. “Shay Riordan, did you just tell me with your eyes to get into bed?”
He smiled back, the expression making his already handsome features even more so. Then, he nodded, and I stepped away, my heart pounding and his eyes never leaving me as I walked to the bed. Grabbing the hem of my jumper, I pulled it off until I wore only my bra. I turned back to Shay, certain my face showed every ounce of the longing and love and tenderness I felt for him.
I opened my mouth to ask what he was still doing all the way over on the other side of the room, but milliseconds later, he was in front of me. Shay captured my face in his hands, somehow communicating so much through a single look. The flat was quiet and low-lit. We were so close I could almost hear his heart beating in tandem with mine.
He tilted my head back, and a moment later, he kissed me like he wanted to savour me. We fell onto the bed, lips and tongues and bodies colliding. I moaned when his erection prodded between my thighs, my hands reaching for the hem of his top to pull it off. He wore a jumper with a T-shirt underneath, and I saw amusement dance across his features as I struggled with them. In one swift move, he yanked them over his head and threw them to the floor. My eyes feasted on his toned muscles and tapered torso.
Breathing heavily, I reached for his fly, eagerly undoing it and shoving his jeans down. Shay made short work of my bra, his breaths eager as he deftly unclipped it. Seconds later, his mouth was on my breasts, devouring them as his tongue flicked tantalisingly at my nipple.
“I need you inside me,” I begged. “Now.”
His mouth leaving my breasts, Shay eased my trousers and underwear down my legs while every part of me hummed with arousal. I was wet for him, ready. Shay crawled back up my body, his hand moulding my breast as he kissed me deeply. I sighed into the kiss as he settled between my legs. His thick head prodded at my entrance, and his expression clouded when in unison we both realised he wasn’t wearing protection.
“It’s okay,” I breathed. “I’m on the pill. And I trust you.”
His eyes flickered uncertainly, his head tilting in question. You sure?
“Please, I want to feel you.”
His eyes were molten as his mouth returned to mine, muffling my moans as he slid home. I was deliciously full, the sensation of him inside me with nothing between us had my heart racing fast. I adored him, my hands sifting through his hair as his hips moved slowly in and out, making love to me. When he drew back, our eyes connected, and I knew we were thinking the same thing.
I was his, irrevocably.
And he was mine.