23. Bodhi
23
BODHI
T he Hoot I’ll be right here.”
She hesitates like she thinks I might bolt off this chair at any moment.
It’s a fair assumption but I won’t do that to her—at least not yet.
No, it takes another hour before my need to run from this place sets in. Ella’s dancing on the floor with a circle of girls, a group of guys around them trying to get their attention. I want to smash something with my bare hands every time one gets close to Ella, but I have no claim on her.
Just friends.
There’s no fucking way I can be just friends with her.
Not when I want all those smiles and touches for myself.
Not when I want to be inside her.
My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket to look at the screen.
TOM OAKDEN: I might have something for you soon
BODHI: That’s not cryptic at all
TOM OAKDEN: Confirming details—just wanted you to have a heads-up
BODHI: For what?
TOM OAKDEN: Just be ready
Fuck.
Whatever it is, I can almost guarantee it won’t be good, and whatever was left of my good mood evaporates in an instant.
I need to go.
And I’m also not gonna cause a scene because she’s happy and I love seeing that smile on her face. I just wish it was directed at me.
Looking around, I can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to be claimed in a room like this. For everyone to know she’s mine.
I can see Roman watching me out of the corner of his eye as I attempt to strangle my beer glass, the one I’ve been nursing all night, as Ella dances around the bar. She’s the life of the party, laughing and moving her body in a way that’s hypnotizing and definitely not for me.
I look away and meet Roman’s gaze, an unreadable expression on his face.
“Here you go,” the bartender says as he places the bag in front of me, and I’m thankful I’d already put my escape in motion.
“Thanks,” I tell him, throwing cash down on the bar for the food and Ella’s drinks. His lips twitch as I stand and shrug on my jacket, before turning toward Roman. “Make sure she gets back safely.”
“Why don’t you do it yourself?”
Because I don’t touch things that aren’t mine.
“Not feeling like much of a friend right now.” The way the word comes out as if it is vile seems to reveal too much if the way his lips twitch is any indication. “She’s with her family—she’s happy.”
She doesn’t need me.
“You call for a ride?”
“Sure.”
“Dude.”
“It’s not that far,” I tell him as I turn back for the food. “Need to clear my head anyway.”
He stares at me for a long time before shaking his head. “I don’t like it, but I get it.” Grabbing a napkin, he jots down a phone number and hands it to me. “Text me when you make it. Friend or not, she’ll kill me if something happens. And because I’ve walked that route a time or two, I’ll be sending a search party if you don’t.”
I shove it into my pocket without another word and head for the door, my lungs constricting in my chest as I make my way through the crowd of people.
The cool air is a welcome reprieve, the inky-black sky painted with stars, the scene making me miss Blackstone Falls.
Stop getting attached; you know how it ends.
It’s a stark reminder as I take one step and then another before pulling out my phone and calling Sorren.
“What’s wrong?” His voice is gruff as the sounds from the bar fade into the distance.
“I fucked up,” I admit into the quiet. “I don’t want to be her friend.”
* * *
ELLA
The energy in the bar is like a living breathing thing, people just having a good time and catching up.
But something’s missing.
It takes me longer than I’d like to admit to realize that the rush I feel whenever Bodhi is near is seemingly absent. Looking to the barstool he’d been perched on, I realize why.
Bodhi isn’t sitting at the bar—he’s not sitting anywhere. Dread fills my stomach as I excuse myself from the girls and make a beeline for Roman who looks guilty as my heart beats faster in my chest.
“Where is he?”
“Wasn’t feeling well.”
“And he didn’t tell me?” I nearly screech, and he shrugs while I glance at the clock on the wall.
It’s late.
Way later than I thought and way later than I planned on being here.
“He didn’t want you to worry, said he wanted you to have a good time.”
“But he gets migraines, Roman, bad ones and if he’s alone—” My head jerks side to side as I try and remember where I put my coat before my cousin’s hand wraps around my wrist.
“Not a migraine.”
“Then what happened? Why did he leave?” Why didn’t he find me?
Roman doesn’t answer, his phone screen lighting up with a text from an unknown number.
UNKNOWN: At the cabin.
“Look—” he says in a way that’s more pleading than placating.
“I need to go. I’ll see everyone tomorrow, but right now I need to go.”
“Ella, he just needs some space.”
“Space?” I screech, drawing the attention of the patrons on either side of us. “Space, Roman? You think he needs space? You let him walk miles in the dark in a place he doesn’t know.”
“It’s like two and a half tops and I’ve done it?—”
“He doesn’t live here, ” I seethe, wanting to shake him as I spot my coat one stool over and shove my arms through the sleeves. “I love you but if something happened to him...” I trail off, unable to complete the sentence with the emotion now lodged in my throat.
“Hey,” Roman says, grabbing my wrist and holding me in front of him until I meet his gaze, “he’s okay. Y’all have some stuff to figure out, and he didn’t think now was the time.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah, come on, I’ll take you back.”
“What? Haven’t you been drinking?”
“I had one shot with him and half a beer.”
“Why?”
Roman smiles as he stands from his stool and takes my hand. “Because I can get drunk when I’m hundreds of miles away, but when I’m home, I just want to enjoy bein’ home.”
“And you still didn’t drive him,” I huff as he waves toward Eden and pulls me through the crowd and into the parking lot.
“I would’ve if he asked, Ells. He knew what he was doing—what he needed.”
And it wasn’t me.
But we’re gonna fix that.
Right now.
“Just take me back.”
“Aw…go easy on him. We’re a lot to handle.”
“I make no promises.”
He snorts as the car rumbles to life, but he doesn’t say anything else as we leave the bar in the rear view.