36. Ella
36
ELLA
T he next couple of weeks flew by as winter finally gave way to spring, the sunshine a welcome reprieve from the extra round of cold we’d had.
I couldn’t completely hate it though, not when that particular storm had brought Bodhi and me together in a way I wasn’t sure would have happened otherwise. Our close proximity in the cab of Sorren’s truck during the road trip and the intensity of events that had taken place left us light-years ahead of the normal dating timeline.
The downside had been that neither one of us had known how to adjust to normal life once we returned. There were some growing pains, but nearly a month later, we had a mostly workable schedule that held us both accountable.
Because there’s more to life than work.
“I have to let the dogs out,” he murmurs as he rolls onto his back, pulling me with him and making no attempt to get up.
“They can wait,” I purr, rocking my hips against him, a growl rumbling up his throat in response.
“You’re not helping,” he whispers, his mouth covering mine in an unhurried kiss.
A phone rings and Bodhi tenses. “We’re busy,” I mutter, making him chuff out a laugh before he presses a quick kiss to my lips as he slides out of bed. I miss him immediately, but my heart plummets to the floor the second I see his face.
“Tom,” he says tightly, the name taking a few seconds to register as he rubs his palm over his short dark hair. “Yeah, I can make the drive.” A pause. “You’re sure?” And another. “I’ll call you after I’m done.”
“What’s wrong?” My words are quiet as he slowly lowers himself onto the edge of the bed, his phone resting in his lap and his body still.
“The call I was waiting for in Trappers Ridge?” he says, nodding toward his lap. “That was it.”
“The investigator? What does he want you to do?”
“I need to go see someone,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “She was a foster kid at the house with us. She was only there a couple of weeks, but it was after Audrey went missing. She won’t talk to the police,”—he swallows hard—“but she’s willing to talk to me. Depending on what she has to say, if she’s willing to testify, it could change everything.”
“That’s great, right? That she wants to talk to you?”
Nodding slowly, he squeezes his eyes shut and then pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
“It’s good, but a part of me thought I might be able to sit this round out. Like I…” Dropping his hand, he turns his head and gives me a sad smile. “I lived and breathed the case the first time he went to trial and for years before. I didn’t think I’d have to be a part of it again—not like this.”
His eyes are haunted like the thirty seconds he was on the phone sent him spiraling into his past—a past I only have a glimpse of.
A past he still hasn’t been able to share.
“Do you want me to go with you?” Worry has my heart squeezing in my chest because even without knowing all the details, I know this is going to shake the ground he walks on.
And I think he knows it too.
“I do but I can’t.” His expression is apologetic.
“What about Mason?”
“She said she doesn’t remember a lot about the other kids in the house but she asked for me by name. It has to be me.” Shaking his head, he adds, “Wild to think after all these years we ended up in damn near the same place.”
The admission sets off a flutter in my stomach as I intertwine our fingers together. “Then I’m just a phone call away. You can do this. And I don’t know if this means anything but I’m so proud of you. Her wanting to talk to you is a hell of a compliment. She trusts you. So yes, this is not what you wanted, but I believe in you and you’re going to find the good in this.”
“I’m… Thank you. And your words mean something—they mean everything to me.”
“It’s almost unbelievable. A couple of weeks ago we were practically strangers and now…” I brush the backs of my fingertips over his cheek. “I never want to go back to the way things were.”
Turning his head, he presses a kiss to my palm. “Me either.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“She lives two hours from here but I don’t anticipate it being quick. If she’s waited this long, she’ll have years of unloading to do.”
“And you’ll be all right?” I ask, moving my hand down to rest against his heart, trying desperately to relay how all-encompassing my question is.
“It’s gonna hurt—whatever she has to say—and it’ll take time for me to process it.”
“You don’t have to do that part alone.”
Please let me help.
“Just,” he sighs, leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine, “be patient.”
“I can do that.”
He chuckles. “You sure? I mean I know we’re past throwing pillows but...”
“I was makin’ a point; that’s different.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You do that.”
“I need you to do something else for me.”
“Name it.”
“Be here when I get back. I don’t want to come home to an empty house.”
Heart swelling in my chest, I cup his face in my hands and press a soft kiss to his lips. “I’ll be here. I promise.”
* * *
BODHI
My heart beats a little faster thinking about the odds that two kids placed in foster care in New Hampshire would meet up at a coffee shop in Tennessee. It takes me every minute of the two-hour drive to calm my nerves, a torrent of emotions churning up the closer I get to the coffee shop where Lauren Mack and her husband agreed to meet me.
It’s a town I’ve never heard of and probably won’t ever visit again, but hopefully after today, I won’t need to.
Hopefully, this will be the end.
I’d slipped Audrey’s bracelet into my pocket before I left, needing her strength to help me through this. Because I wasn’t lying when I told Ella I thought I’d get a pass this time around —desperate for my biggest worry now to be wondering if I picked the right place to take her to dinner.
I hadn’t voiced that last part, the thought feeling childish.
Selfish.
So many things that don’t matter when justice for my sister is on the line.
Justice for Lauren.
And Mason.
And me.
Because so many of us had suffered in that house.
No more.
Flipping on the turn signal, I make the right into the parking lot and find a space in the back, killing the engine before pulling out my phone.
BODHI: I made it
ELLA: You are incredible and strong and so damn brave
ELLA: You can do this
BODHI: I’ll text you after
A screenful of the kissing face emoji stare back at me, a ghost of a smile crossing my lips before disappearing as I push out of the car.
BODHI: I’m here
MASON: I wish you would’ve let me come
MASON: I would have sat in the car
BODHI: I know. I just—I need to do this myself
BODHI: You’re in a good place with Lana and the kids—you don’t need to relive this
MASON: And you’re not in a good place?
BODHI: I need the closure
BODHI: Ella deserves that as much as I do
MASON: Then do it and call me when you’re done.
MASON: Don’t shut me out
MASON: Promise me
BODHI: I promise
MASON: Be easy
BODHI: Easy and free
It’s the last message I send before pocketing my phone and walking across the pavement, my boots making a dull thudding sound as I go. Each step is harder than the last, my legs like pulling lead weights through sand.
But I keep going.
You can do this.
I can do this.
Heart pounding in my chest, I swallow hard as I pull open the door, the coffee shop just like any other with its white counter and overpriced menu. My stomach sours but it has nothing to do with the smell as my eyes lock on a pair of bright blue eyes and a hesitant smile.
Swallowing hard, I push back every emotion threatening to drag me under, push back my fears and the anguish I’ve carried all these years.
Because today isn’t about me.
“Bodhi. Wow, you look just like I thought you would. I don’t know if you remember me-”
“I remember you, Lauren. I’m sorry we’re meeting again like this,” I say, swallowing hard, “and I’m sorry I didn’t do more for you.”
“You were a kid,” she says, shaking her head, “and grieving. No one gets the blame but him,” Lauren says vehemently, holding out her hand for me, and I take it, ignoring the fact that hers is shaking and offering her a reassuring smile.
“You’re right and I’m glad to see you’re doing well,” I say, shaking hands with her husband before taking a seat across from them.
“I appreciate you coming to meet us. Last night was the first time my husband’s heard this story and today will be the second time I’ve recounted it.”
I hear what she’s saying, see the set of her shoulders and the brave expression she’s fighting like hell to keep in place. She doing it for all of us.
And I’ll be here all night if I have to.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere, Lauren,” I say, my gaze locking on hers. “Take as long as you need.”