12.
Jonathan
I’d been in a bad mood ever since I got into my car yesterday and found Ada getting up close and friendly with Ben. I felt off in a way that was unrelated to my grief. It wasn’t an emotion I was familiar with. All I knew was I didn’t like her smiling at him and laughing at his jokes.
The man had been a perfect employee for almost five years, and now I was considering firing him simply because of the way Ada had looked at him.
I definitely wasn’t myself.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hasty ending things with Lissa. All my attention was now focused on Ada, which certainly wasn’t something I should indulge in. I’d been in many relationships over the course of my forty-one years, but I’d never been around a woman who managed to get under my skin quite like she did.
She currently sat next to me in the spacious back seat of my car, her arms folded and her lips pressed together like she wanted to say something but was holding her tongue. She probably wanted to chew me out since I’d more or less manhandled her into the vehicle. Ben sat in the driver’s seat, having witnessed the whole thing, and, I was pretty sure, currently questioned my sanity.
“It’s below zero out there. You shouldn’t be walking,” I muttered gruffly when she still didn’t say anything.
“The station isn’t far,” she replied, her eyes questioning, and I found myself growing even more irritable. “You didn’t have to—"
“Why isn’t your car fixed yet? Surely, a new battery is an easy job.”
“It’s going to be a couple weeks before I can afford to take it to a garage. I’m fine using public transport until then.”
“Out of the question,” I said, my annoyance reaching boiling point as I produced my phone. “I’ll have my mechanic stop by and take a look today. You can pay me back whenever you have the money.”
Pulling up the number, I hit “Call,” and Ada reached forward to grab the phone from my hand. Seeing her lunge, I held it aloft, which caused her soft chest to clash with mine, her hand grasping while I was assaulted by her subtle perfume. She smelled the same as her room at my mother’s house, faintly citrus mixed with sweet. I’d been oh so careful not to touch her too much when I’d guided her into the car, and now, it was difficult not her gather her ponytail in my grip, pull her head back ever so slightly and crash my mouth to hers.
I was in dire straits. It had clearly been way too long since I’d last had sex, and Ada was a beautiful woman in my proximity. That was all it was, right?
I glanced down at her, my bad mood vanished. I’d challenge any man to remain grumpy when he had a woman like Ada Rose strewn across him.
“What on earth are you doing?” I asked, amused.
“The phone. Hang up, please. I don’t need your mechanic.” The call continued to ring, no one answering, probably because it was too early for the garage to be open. Still, I let it ring, enjoying our position far too much. Ada’s gaze was locked on mine, and if I weren’t mistaken, she was a little distracted by our sudden closeness, too. A flash of desire shone in her eyes, there and gone so fast I couldn’t tell if I imagined it.
Leaning forward the barest inch, I inhaled, unable to help myself. “Your perfume, what is it?”
Something about the question made Ada’s logic return as she blinked in horror and pulled away, fixing her skirt and coat while I finally ended the call.
“It’s, um, Jo Malone,” she murmured, gaze lowered. “Nectarine blossom and honey.” A long, weighted pause elapsed. “It was your mother’s last Christmas gift to me.”
Just like that, the mood shifted, and the melancholy I’d been doing well to manage began to expand once more. Mam had loved Jo Malone. Had said there was a scent to suit everyone, and she’d prided herself on finding the right one to match each person she’d gifted it to. She’d played a blinder with Ada because I couldn’t think of a more suitable fragrance. It was light but addictive, sweet without being overpowering. It drew you in, made you want to inhale more, pick out the layers.
“About my car. Thank you for the offer, but I’ll have to decline,” she said, breaking me from my thoughts. I stared at her, unsure if I wanted to chew her out for being so stubborn or haul her onto my lap and—okay, best not to finish that thought. It was just that she smelled incredible sitting so close, and I was having a hard time not fantasising about all the things I wanted to do to her. Christ, when had that happened? I reluctantly found her attractive during our initial meeting, but something more was going on. She’d become a fixation.
There was something about Ada. I had these irrational urges to take care of her. Perhaps it all went back to her request for me to check on her in the evenings, the genuine vulnerability she’d displayed had activated something deep in my psyche. Or maybe it was simply her connection to Mam. I suddenly felt obligated to make sure she was okay.
“Ada, you can’t wait weeks for your car to be fixed.”
“Of course I can. People get by without cars all the time.”
“No. You’ll …” Seeing the determined look in her eyes, I relented. “Fine. Do as you please, but until your car is running again, Ben will take you to and from work each day.” I questioned the logic of this decision since Ada spending time around Ben had already agitated me far more than it should. Still, it was better than having her out walking in freezing conditions every morning. I’d noticed her rubbing her leg yesterday like it pained her, and I worried it would only worsen if she were on her feet so much in the cold.
“Jonathan, look, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but—”
“Ada, it’s a lift to and from work, not a luxury yacht across the Caribbean. Just take the offer because if I have to carry you into this car each morning, I will.”
She pressed her lips together, those beautiful brown eyes crinkling in consternation. “Fine. I accept. But this is the last time you’re helping me. Really, I survived well enough on my own before you came along.”
“I have no doubt,” I told her in a low voice. “But isn’t it nice to let someone else carry the weight every once in a while?”
Her eyes met mine, something softening in them before she looked away out the window. “Yes, I guess it is.”
Not long after that, we arrived at my building, and Ben carried on the journey to Ada’s place of work. I frowned, thinking of all the opportunities it gave them to get to know one another better, but I couldn’t let that be a concern. Ada had been a companion to my mother during the years we’d been estranged, and I was grateful to her for that. It was the reason I was helping her. Nothing else. If she and Ben enjoyed one another’s company and something transpired between them, it was none of my business.
The pesky attraction I felt for her would fade soon enough.
Unfortunately, my morning was blighted by a meeting with a new client who turned out to be an old friend of Mam’s. Maureen Dolan had gone to school with my mother, and as soon as she saw me, she recognised me.
“I was so sorry to hear what happened,” Maureen said, her eyes sad and consoling. “She was a lovely woman, your mother. We always got along so well but lost touch over the years. It must be hard, Jonathan, losing her in such a tragic accident, but at least you were lucky to have a parent who loved you as much as Leonora did.”
Obviously, Maureen had no clue about Mam’s and my estrangement, and I wasn’t about to inform her. I did, however, go straight to my office once the meeting was over to drown my agony in two glasses of obscenely expensive whiskey that a client recently gifted me. Maureen’s use of the phrase “tragic accident” caused all the horrific images I’d been suppressing to rise to the forefront of my mind, images that gave me panic attacks.
My mother had drowned in the South China Sea, and I couldn’t help asking myself bleak, gut-wrenching questions, like had she known she was about to die? Did she go quick or slow? Did she feel pain? I couldn’t stand the idea of her terror, of the suffering she might’ve endured, all knowing her son had never gotten over his issues and foolish pride and told her he still loved her. That he always would, no matter everything that had happened in the past.
Yet again, self-hatred slithered over me. Wherever my life went, it would always be a part of me now. For the rest of my days, I’d never not be filled with regret, despising my own face when it looked back at me in the mirror
By the time the workday was almost at an end, I had every intention of finding a bar to drown my sorrows when, by chance, Maggie popped her head into my office.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt. Shay and Rhys are taking Derek out for drinks tonight. Supposedly, he’s been unusually down lately, so they’re trying to cheer him up. I thought you might like to join them?”
Well, drinking with company was always preferable to drinking alone.
“Are you certain Derek’s the reason for this outing?” I questioned, suspicious that it could be a ruse my half sister had conjured because she was concerned about me and had tasked her husband, his cousin and his cousin’s best friend to take me out and provide some man talk.
“Yes, actually,” Maggie said, lowering her voice as she stepped into the room. “Rhys claims Derek’s been acting out of sorts lately. Burying himself in work, cancelling family dinners and barely leaving his apartment the rest of the time. They think he might be depressed.”
Poor bloke. I wondered what was getting him down. I’d heard he went through a rough divorce, but that was several years ago.
“Fine. I’ll go,” I replied, satisfied that I wasn’t being tricked into spilling my guts over a few drinks.
I shot off a quick text to Ben, letting him know I was going out after work and that he only needed to drop Ada home that evening instead of stopping to collect me. It allowed the two of them yet more time alone together, but I was determined not to be bothered by that. She wasn’t mine to obsess or be possessive over.
And if the need to get drunk was intensified by thoughts of them spending time together, it was merely a coincidence.
I caught a cab and met with Shay, Rhys and Derek at a bar in town. It was bustling with patrons, but luckily, the three men had claimed a good table in the back. On my way to them, I pulled aside a server and asked for a bottle of Patron as well as several shot glasses to be delivered to the table. Yes, I planned on getting wasted. It was Friday night, the stock market was closed until Monday and I decided I was going to spend the interim obliviating my inner turmoil with alcohol.
I’d only sat down when the server appeared with a tray.
“Starting off at the deep end, I see,” Rhys commented. He was my brother-in-law, Shay’s, cousin, and though I got the sense he found me a bit of a pretentious prick, which to be fair I did come across as at times, we’d slowly started to enjoy one another’s company. Derek, Rhys’ best friend, sat with his back to the wall, his attention glued to his phone. He looked like he hadn’t shaved in a week and was in need of a haircut, too. We’d been acquaintances for years, but I didn’t know him well enough to surmise what might be the cause of whatever it was he was going through.
“No point in starting anywhere else,” I replied and began pouring shots for the table. “How’s that gorgeous fiancée of yours? Any chance I might be able to lure her away from your sullen arse?”
“My gorgeous fiancée is at home, happily pregnant with my child,” Rhys answered back pointedly, and I chuckled. The lovely American, Charli, was just my type, and though Maggie had tried briefly to set us up, she’d only had eyes for the rugged, dark-haired bastard who sat next to me.
“Well, I’ve always thought pregnant women to be very—”
Best not to finish that sentence , Shay cut in, hands flying up. I’d been learning sign language the last few months and was doing a lot better interpreting what he said.
I raised my hands and looked to Rhys. “Fine. Felicitations to you on your coming nuptials and offspring. Now, who’ll join me in a shot?”
Shay glanced at the bottle of tequila with raised eyebrows. He wasn’t a heavy drinker, so I was surprised when he accepted the shot glass I slid his way.
Derek took the offered shot, too, downed it, then slid it back for a refill. “I like your style,” I said, no intention of trying to dig up whatever was getting the bloke down. Sometimes you just had to let people sort their heads out in their own time.
We passed a few hours getting hammered. Every once in a while, Rhys would try to broach the subject of Derek’s sudden personality change, but Derek was adept at switching topics, and in the end, Rhys got nowhere in luring his friend to open up.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so drunk. I felt pleasantly numb, the alcohol blocking my head from going to painful places as we left the bar. To my dismay, it wasn’t as effective at blocking thoughts of Ada, the feel of her warm body reaching across mine in the car on our journey to work. The thoughtful, emotive way she studied me sometimes. I relished her attention but also felt uneasy about being so seen. If Ada saw the true depths of how twisted up and broken I was inside over Mam, what would she think of me?
Then I thought of her being driven home from work by Ben and what sort of conversation might’ve transpired between them. In all honesty, I couldn’t blame my driver for noticing her beauty. Those hauntingly stunning brown eyes had begun to infiltrate my dreams.
I’m going to hail you a cab , Shay signed, looking a little worried over my drunken state. I gave him a bleary-eyed thumbs up while bumming a smoke from an attractive lady who was standing nearby with her friends. She handed me the cigarette, eyeing me up and down like she was considering asking for an invite back to my place. Huh, perhaps that would be a good way to take my mind off Ada. Just as I thought it, Shay dragged me away, slipping my arms into my suit jacket and sliding my tie back around my neck—I had no memory of removing either.
“Dearest brother-in-law, you’re cockblocking me,” I complained while Shay pulled the lit cigarette from my mouth, threw it on the ground and stomped it out. “Hey! I was enjoying that.”
I promised Maggie I’d look out for you , he signed. Besides, you don’t smoke. There’s no need to start a new bad habit.
“I’ll have you know I smoke cigars on special occasions. And you can tell Maggie I don’t need babysitting.”
Shay only arched a cynical eyebrow, and given my current dishevelled state, perhaps I did need a small bit of babysitting. A taxi pulled up, and Shay typed out my address on his phone before showing it to the driver. Clearly, he didn’t even trust me to remember where I lived.
Text me when you’re home , he signed, and I nodded, waving him off.
By the time we reached my building, I pulled several notes from my wallet and handed them to the driver to pay the fare. Then I stumbled my way to the door. Larry was there to let me in.
“Fun night, Mr Oaks?” he asked as I headed for the elevator.
“Something like that,” I managed to reply without slurring my words before stepping inside and hitting the button for my floor. I shot off a quick message to Shay, letting him know I’d arrived. Then after hitting “Send,” I dropped my phone on the elevator floor.
“Fuck,” I muttered, bending over to pick it up. I swore again when I rose, my head spinning. I was in for one hell of a hangover in the morning.
The doors slid open when I reached my floor, and I fumbled in my pocket for my keys. It was then I realised I’d failed to check in on Ada, and too shitfaced to realise how late it was and that I’d likely be waking her from sleep, I knocked loudly on her door.
There was no answer, so I continued knocking until the door swung open, revealing Ada in all her sleepy-eyed, wild-haired glory. My lack of sobriety meant I didn’t even have the decency to disguise my desire-filled gaze wandering up and down her body. She wore pale shorts and a white T-shirt with some logo on it. Definitely no bra. She was a sexy dream come true, especially with all that thick hair that hung messily over one shoulder.
The attraction would fade, I reminded myself. With time, she wouldn’t have such a heady effect on me.
“Jonathan, what on earth?” she asked, and my gaze caught on the jagged looking scarring on her leg that I hadn’t noticed the time I’d walked in on her naked. Then again, I’d been fairly distracted by other parts of her—
“Are you drunk?” Ada folded her arms, studying me in concern.
“Very,” I answered at last, a slur in my voice. “I had to come check on you.”
“Right, well, it’s a little late, don’t you think?”
“Can I come in?” I blurted, and her pretty brown eyes flared in surprise.
“Why?”
“Don’t want to be alone,” I said, sending her a beseeching, desperate look. “ Please .”
“Fine, come in, but you can’t stay long. You woke me up with all your knocking. You’re lucky this isn’t a work night.” She stepped back, opening the door wider, and I didn’t hesitate to come inside. Ada grabbed a long, thick cardigan from an armchair and quickly slipped it on to cover up.
“Pity,” I mumbled, but she didn’t appear to hear me.
The apartment looked just as it had the day I’d handed her the keys several weeks ago but with the addition of a few of her possessions scattered about. A knitted blanket hung across the couch, and a set of slippers were on the floor next to the imitation fireplace I’d had installed. There was also a stack of books on the coffee table; novels, it looked like.
I made a beeline for the couch and picked up the book on top, the one she was in the middle of reading, judging by the bookmark sticking out. Scanning the cover that displayed what appeared to be a Scottish Highlander circa the eighteenth century holding a busty, breathless looking woman in his muscled arms, I knew immediately it was one of those racy historical novels, and a delighted grin spread across my face. Ada, who’d gone to the kitchen seemingly to fill a glass with water from the sink, hadn’t noticed me checking out her reading material.
When she returned, she froze in place, seeing the book in my hand, then immediately rushed over. She placed the glass down hastily, water sloshing over the top, and tried to grab the book. “Give me that,” she pleaded, but I was already on the move. I strode across the apartment, opening to the part she’d left off on and discovered, to my amusement, it was indeed a racy part.
“Well, well, well,” I said, clearing my throat and readying to read a section out loud when I almost walked into the wall. That was what I got for getting so distracted in teasing her—and for drinking my weight in tequila.
Ada stood in front of me, and just like in the car that morning with my phone, I held the book aloft, hoping she’d come closer and try to grab for it. Rub up against me. Forget alcohol, teasing Ada Rose was the perfect distraction to my misery. Sadly, she cottoned on to my plan and stopped an inch away, holding out her hand, “Jonathan, don’t be an arse. Give me the book.”
“But it sounds so interesting. The plot—”
Before I could finish, she moved closer, her heavenly scent assaulting me as her warm body clashed with mine. I completely forgot what I’d been about to say. She pressed her palm flat to my chest then glanced up at me with a beseeching gaze. God, her eyes. They seduced me in a way even her sexy hair and mouth-watering scent couldn’t. The flash of keen intelligence that always managed to command my attention.
“Jonathan, please,” she whispered. “You’re drunk.”
And you’re edible . I had just enough sobriety left not to voice the sentiment.
Something in her gaze had me completely forgetting about the book, and it fell from my hand, clattering to the floor. I reached out to touch a strand of her soft hair, sweeping it over her ear, my knuckles grazing her cheek.
Her breath hitched, and my cock stirred. “I’m sorry,” I said. Then I continued without thinking, “You’re very beautiful.”
A lovely flush tinged her cheeks, and her hand remained flat against my sternum. Could she feel how her touch quickened my pulse?
“Why did you drink so much?” she asked gently, ignoring the compliment.
I didn’t want to answer. It was too painful, and I couldn’t handle the grief that rose forth, the agony that twisted around my vital organs. My hands came up to cup each of her cheeks, and she gasped, her dark eyelashes fluttering when I let my instincts take over and bent down, passionately capturing her lips with mine.