16.
Ada
Staring at my phone, my heart bounced around inside my chest. What the hell had just happened? A casual text informing Jonathan I wouldn’t need Ben to pick me up after work had turned into him inviting himself along to quiz night.
Things had been a little tense between us the last week and a half. Often on our car journeys, I’d find Jonathan staring at me intently as though he were trying to solve some exasperating, complex mystery. It was like he wanted to carefully peel back all the layers I had in place to find some answer I didn’t even know the question to. I couldn’t tell if he was merely exasperated with the amount of time it was taking to have my car fixed, or if he was obsessing over the conversation we’d had. The one where we’d agreed that any kind of relationship outside of casual friendship between us was unwise.
It was a tough conversation to have, but a necessary one. My sister was right. I couldn’t afford to jeopardize my living situation, but more than that, we were both still grieving. Starting anything on such unsteady ground was a recipe for heartache. It didn’t help that no matter how much I reminded myself of this, a part of me still wanted him badly.
I was constantly aware of the tension between us, his cologne always dancing faintly past my nose, wrapping me up in his potent presence in the enclosed space. I was also obsessed with studying him, and I’d become fond of his little idiosyncrasies, like how he’d stroke his chin when he was staring at his laptop screen because it helped him think. Or how a little line would mark the space between his eyebrows on the mornings he was in a bad mood or one of his clients was being difficult. What was most surprising was how fond I’d become of his grumpiness, how I’d come to find it amusing and also attractive. Perhaps I had a grouchy old man kink. I often found myself clenching my thighs when he was focused on work, his expression serious or perturbed over an issue at the office. On those occasions, I had to stare out the window and resist the urge to grab him by his tie and pull him across the car seat, plaster my lips to his.
“Okay, can you all please promise to behave when Jonathan gets here?” I said to Rina, Debbie and Cate as we entered the pub. The others had already arrived, and my nerves heightened when I spotted Cathal sitting with Lewis and Hannah. After our uncomfortable encounter last time, I’d been hoping he wouldn’t be there tonight. In fact, his presence was unusual since he hadn’t been scheduled at Pinebrook today, and he normally only came to quiz night when he was scheduled.
I tried not to read too much into it. Hannah had probably asked him to come, and it was as simple as that. Speaking of whom, she hadn’t seemed at all different with me, which made me wonder if she really had complained to Cathal about my treatment of her. I was beginning to suspect she’d mentioned it casually, and Cathal had blown it way out of proportion, using it as ammo when I’d refused to take his advice in regard to Jonathan.
Debbie went to get the first round of drinks in while Rina, Cate and I joined the others at our usual table.
It was just as I sat down and began taking off my coat that the back of my neck tingled. A cold gust of air filtered into the pub as the door opened and someone stepped in. I turned and spotted Jonathan in the same dark grey coat he’d had on that morning, a lighter grey suit on underneath. He was definitely the most dressed up person in the pub, though he didn’t stand out too much since quiz night was mainly attended by office workers in shirts and slacks. My breath hitched as I watched him search the bar for me before our eyes connected. There was a moment of staring before a smile shaped his lips and his gaze warmed in a way that made my pulse spike.
Why did he look so pleased to see me? We’d been spending a lot of time together in his car, but there was something new in his smile that had my stomach doing flips. I rose from my seat as Jonathan made his way toward me, his gaze travelling languidly from my shoes all the way up my body, causing my insides to heat. His eyes touched every part of me before finally coming to rest on my face. I wasn’t wearing anything particularly provocative, which was why his sexy perusal was unnerving. The way he looked at me made me feel like I was standing in some sensual, revealing outfit that he liked a whole hell of a lot.
When I reached him, I was aware of several pairs of eyes watching. Rina, Debbie and Cate knew he was coming, but everyone else was unaware.
“Ada,” Jonathan said. “Thank you for inviting me.”
I pressed my lips together to suppress a smile and also to distract myself from how his perusal had my pulse rocketing. “You invited yourself. Also, you better not have been lying about your general knowledge. I expect to win tonight.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’ll do my best to make that happen. What’s first prize?”
“It’s not about the prize; it’s about bragging rights. But if you must know, first prize is a fifty-euro One4All voucher and a box of chocolate biscuits.”
“A life changing sum. I better get focused.”
I smirked and poked him in the chest. “Yes, you better. Come on, let’s get the introductions over with.”
Before I could pull away, Jonathan grabbed the finger I’d just poked him with. The warmth from his hand infused my whole body with awareness. Surely, this reaction to him wasn’t normal. He leaned in, his breath whispering across my ear and causing goosebumps to erupt on my flesh. “You make it sound like my presence is a chore, and here I thought we were friends.”
“You know why I didn’t want you to come. The people I work with are nosy. No matter if I introduce you as a friend, they’ll think there’s something more going on.”
“Well, I have drunkenly kissed and groped you against a wall, so they wouldn’t exactly be wrong on that front,” he quietly teased, causing a fresh eruption of goosebumps.
“Do not tell them that,” I warned, my stress levels increasing as I drew my hand from his warm grip.
Jonathan’s expression softened. “Don’t worry, Ada. I’ll be on my best behaviour.”
Hmm, I wasn’t entirely sure I believed him, but he’d arrived now, so it was best to just get on with it.
“Everyone, this is my friend, Jonathan. He’s going to join us tonight for the quiz if there are no objections.” I made sure not to look in Cathal’s direction since I was in no mood to entertain another conversation like last time. Despite the fact that Jonathan had drunkenly kissed and groped me against a wall, he was a friend. He’d been good to me, and with our parents gone, I was glad to have him around. No one could ever fill the hole Dad and Leonora had left behind, but it was nice not to be completely alone in my grief.
“Hello, Jonathan, a pleasure to meet you,” Debbie said, taking the lead. “I’m Debbie, and this is Cate, Rina, Hannah, Lewis and Cathal. And, of course, we don’t mind you joining us.”
“The more the merrier,” Hannah added with a giggle, and I had to hold in my amusement at the brief flash of irritation on Cathal’s face. Though she seemed perfectly content in her relationship, Hannah was a flirt, and she’d given the impression that she found Jonathan handsome. I had to admit, there was a certain triumph in knowing that, given the chance, she might dump Cathal if someone like Jonathan came along. I had to push down the thought. I hadn’t felt ill will towards my ex in a long time, but the way he’d been acting lately was bringing out a mean streak in me.
I retook my seat on the cushioned bench, and Jonathan slid in next to me.
“Actually,” Cathal piped up. “I think there might be a rule about the number of people there can be on a team. Eight is the maximum, and with Jonathan here, that makes us nine.”
“We’ll split up into two teams then,” Rina replied. “How about Ada, Jonathan, Debbie and I make a team, and the rest of you can form another?”
“No way!” Lewis complained. “I want to be on Ada’s team. She’s the smartest. We only ever win because of her.” He shot me a warm grin, and I smiled back at him.
“Why, thank you, Lewis. You can be on our team if you’d prefer?”
“Definitely,” he answered and slid his stool closer to Rina’s.
“But then that leaves just Cathal, Alf, Cate and me to make a team,” Hannah griped. “And we all know Alf will spend half the night chatting with his old geezer mates at the bar,” she motioned over to where Alf stood with several other men his age debating the football game showing on the TV above the bar.
“Fine, I’ll stick with you guys, then,” Lewis said glumly as he slid his stool back closer to Hannah’s side of the table.
Rina cast me a look, her eyes glittering like she was enjoying the drama Jonathan’s presence had created. I shook my head at her before being distracted by Jonathan when he leaned close to speak quietly in my ear.
“You never mentioned you have an admirer.”
I cast him a confused look before his gaze flicked to Lewis. I laughed quietly. “He’s young enough to be my, well, not my son, but definitely too young,” I responded low so no one could hear. Thankfully, the bar was loud and drowned out our conversation.
“You don’t like younger men?”
“Definitely not. I have no desire to be anyone’s stand-in mother. I like men closer to my own age,” I responded evenly before taking a sip from the glass of wine Debbie got me and noticed Jonathan was without a drink.
“Can I get you something? A beer maybe?”
“No, thank you. I’m not drinking for a while.”
“Really? Why not?”
There was a flicker of vulnerability in his gaze before he masked it. “I’ve started seeing a grief counsellor, one my sister recommended. She suggested I avoid alcohol for a couple months since I’ve found myself using it as a crutch.”
“Oh. That’s …” I trailed off, feeling emotional for him all of a sudden. It was just such a proactive step, and I couldn’t help being proud of him. “That’s wonderful, Jonathan, truly.”
Something warm filled my chest as I placed my hand on his and held his gaze. I hadn’t considered seeing a grief counsellor myself, but given the state of Jonathan’s relationship with his mother when she’d died, it seemed like a good idea to talk to a professional.
A short moment of understanding passed between us, our eyes holding, before the ghost of flirtation entered his gaze, his voice even quieter when he went on, “At least this way, you’re safe from my drunken attempts to seduce you.”
My eyes flared at his words as I quickly glanced around the table to make sure no one was listening. Thankfully, Rina was talking to Lewis, and Debbie had gone to let the quiz master know we were forming a second team.
“Oh, seduction, is that what it was?” I challenged in a whisper, unable to resist.
Jonathan’s eyes danced, his expression playful. “A sloppy attempt, I’ll admit. Perhaps next time—"
“You promised to behave,” I cut him off, though really it was my own fault for entertaining the subject matter in the first place.
“A little mischief keeps things interesting, though, right?” Jonathan responded with a flirtatious glint in his eye, and I felt the need to change the subject.
“So, how was your day?”
“Uneventful.” The sparkle in his eyes remained as he sat back, informing me he was pleased he’d managed to frazzle me. I felt his shoulder brush mine as he continued, “And yours?”
“The same.” My throat grew dry when his cologne filtered past my nose, combined with a scent that was just him. It appeared my sense of smell was keen on whatever Jonathan’s natural odour was because I couldn’t seem to resist breathing him in.
“Kevin said it was fine for us to form a new team,” Debbie announced upon her return. “Though not without sassing me for leaving it to the last minute to inform him.” She cast Jonathan a cheeky wink. “I don’t mind suffering his attitude for you, though, Blondie. It’s not every day we get such pleasing company.”
“Hurt and offended, just so you know,” Lewis commented, clutching his chest.
“Sorry, hon. I’ll give you an extra helping of stew for dinner tomorrow.”
“I want three helpings,” Lewis countered.
“You drive a hard bargain,” Debbie chuckled, and I felt someone’s attention as I glanced down the table and found Cathal wearing a flat expression. Anyone else wouldn’t give it a second thought, but I knew his tells. He was annoyed. God, I really wished he hadn’t come tonight. I was starting to realise I was way more at ease when he wasn’t around.
“You okay?” Jonathan asked, his hand lightly touching my knee under the table.
“I’m fine.”
He eyed me shrewdly. “You sure?”
“Of course.” I gulped back another mouthful of wine, and then to my relief, Kevin, the quizmaster, stepped up to the microphone and started the quiz. Jonathan’s hand left my knee, and I found myself missing his touch.
It was nice to be able to just focus on answering the questions and not fixate on his warmth next to me, how distracted I was with him sitting so close. He hadn’t lied about being good at quizzes. We’d barely gotten a question wrong all night thanks to him.
“Okay, next round is economic history,” Kevin announced, and several groans sounded. With Jonathan on our team, I wasn’t at all worried about this round.
“In the Netherlands in 1636, what rare item caused an economic boom for the country known as a certain mania?”
“Oh! I know this one because they’re my favourites,” I said, scribbling down the answer just as Jonathan leaned close to me and whispered, “Tulips are your favourite?”
Of course, he knew it was tulips. Anyone who worked in the finance sector had surely been educated on the period known as Tulip Mania.
“They’re so bright and cheerful. The last few years, my dad would …” I trailed off, a sudden twist of pain in my gut to know my birthday was coming up next week, and I wouldn’t be receiving my bouquet of multi-coloured tulips from Dad this year—or any other year for that matter.
Flowers for most people were a neutral thing. They found them pleasing but didn’t have strong feelings either way. For me, they were a big deal. I’d been obsessed as a kid, loved to pick them from the garden and display them in vases about the house. But for a large part of my later life, I had a hard time smelling or even looking at flowers of any kind because they were so wrapped up in a traumatic memory. Repairing my relationship with my father had allowed me to finally be able to enjoy them again without feeling a pang of emptiness in my stomach. I’d even taken up gardening when I moved in with him and Leonora, fully facing my fears by tending to the flower beds outside the house.
“Sorry,” I said, wiping at the tear that had formed in the corner of my eye. I cleared my throat. “My dad would buy them for me every year on my birthday.”
“Oh, honey,” Rina said, placing her hand atop mine where she sat on the other side of me. “Don’t ever apologise. My mam passed almost six years ago, and I still well up at the most inconvenient moments.”
“I’m okay, really. My birthday is next week, so it just feels a little raw.”
“Well, that goes without saying. And speaking of your birthday, is Victoria sponge still your favourite type of cake?”
I started to smile. “You’re getting a cake?”
“Yes, and it’s already ordered and paid for, so don’t even think about trying to get me to cancel it.”
A wave of gratitude swept over me at the thoughtful gesture, even though I hated people making a fuss over me. But it had been a rough year, and the simple act of kindness made me more emotional than it might’ve ordinarily. I laughed softly. “If you start buying cakes on my birthday, you’ll have to buy one for everyone’s birthday, and then we’ll find ourselves eating cake every other week.”
“I wouldn’t mind that,” Debbie put in with a chuckle.
“It’s your birthday next week?” Jonathan asked quietly, and I nodded. “What day?”
“Why do you want to know?”
He smirked. “Maybe I want to throw you a party.”
Panic flared in my gaze, and he chuckled low. “Relax, there’s no party, but I would like to buy you a gift.”
“You really don’t have to—"
“What day, Ada?”
“I’m not telling you.”
“Fine, I’ll just ask Therese. She has your details from the lease you signed.”
“Don’t you dare ask Therese.” Rina ordering me a cake was one thing, but a gift from Jonathan was another entirely. I was already struggling with my attraction for him. If he started buying me gifts, I might lose hold of the sliver of self-control I was hanging on to.
“Hey, can you guys concentrate?” Debbie glanced between the two of us. “Kevin just asked the next question, and I’m pretty sure we’re in the lead. That box of biscuits has my name on it.”
“Those biscuits are from last Christmas,” Rina interjected. “They’ve probably been out of date since June. I’m more interested in the voucher. If we split it between us, we can use it to buy fancy coffees at work next week.”
“Sorry. We’ll concentrate,” I shot Debbie a look of apology and focused back on the quiz. In the end, we were pipped to the post by another team who won by only two points. It was my own fault for getting distracted by Jonathan so often. There was just something about him sitting so close, his thigh pressing against mine, that had my mind wandering.
Just after nine, I went to pay a quick visit to the bathroom before returning and finding Jonathan was the centre of attention. He had everyone I worked with completely charmed, all of them chuckling at some joke he’d shared. Well, all except for Cathal, who still wore his blank, vaguely pissy expression, informing me he wasn’t pleased that my new friend was such a big hit with everyone. Jonathan’s gaze found mine, his eyes crinkling with warmth as he watched me put on my coat. Stepping away from the group, he approached.
“Want to share a cab home?” I asked.
“No need. Ben’s waiting outside.”
“You made Ben work late just to collect us?”
“It’s his job.”
“Right, well, I’m ready to leave now if you are.”
His eyes softened. “I’m ready.”
“I’ll just go say goodbye to everyone.”
When we left the pub, Jonathan placed his hand on my arm just above the elbow as he guided me inside the waiting car. There was something possessive in his touch that had my stomach whirling. Like the placement of his hand proclaimed ownership.
I was obviously imagining things after the heady effect of sitting next to him all night.
“Did you have a good time?” I asked on the drive, unable to hold in my yawn. I’d been up since six a.m., and most days, I was tucked up in bed by now.
“Tired?” Jonathan asked.
I shot him a sheepish smile. “A little.”
He opened his arms, “Come here.”
I blinked, unable to compute the way my body reacted to his open arms and quietly spoken command. There was something undeniably compelling about him at that moment, and I was drawn to him like a magnet. I shifted over, trying not to think about what a mistake I was making as I allowed myself to sink into his arms. Jonathan exhaled lightly, his breath tickling my neck. “Take a nap if you need to. I’ll wake you when we’re home.”
His warmth at my back and strong arms around my sides combined with the heat of the car had me closing my eyes. I let out a small sigh. “This is nice.”
Jonathan made a gruff noise of agreement, his arms tightening around me.
“You never answered my question,” I said after a few moments.
“Hmm?”
“About the quiz? Did you enjoy yourself?”
He let out another breath, stirring the hairs at the back of my neck. “I had a great time, Ada. I always do when I’m with you.”
My stomach whirled once again. It was becoming a common reaction. Then exhaustion truly hit, and my tiredness had me responding far more honestly than I might’ve otherwise. “I always have a great time with you, too.” I could’ve sworn I felt him rest his chin on my head, his nose in my hair as he inhaled, but it was probably fatigue making my brain loopy.
Less than a second later, I was fast asleep in his arms.
When I woke up, I was being carried into my apartment, Jonathan’s addictive, manly scent surrounding me. He strode through the hallway and into my bedroom before setting me down on my bed. An embarrassed flush stained my cheeks.
“You didn’t have to carry me up.”
“I didn’t want to wake you.” Eyelids slightly hooded, his gaze traversed my legs where my skirt had hitched up a little. Before I could say more, he stepped forward, placed his palms on either side of my head, kissed my temple and then murmured, “Goodnight, Ada.”
A second later, he was gone, and it almost felt like he’d had to force himself to leave, like if he’d stayed a moment longer, he’d end up doing something foolish. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be getting back to sleep any time soon. No, I’d be too busy replaying the heated way his eyes had wandered over my legs, his expression showing some internal battle before he’d decided to say goodnight.
The next few days passed by, and after the quiz night there was a newfound comfort between Jonathan and me. I finally managed to scrape enough money together to get my car fixed, but it was bittersweet. I’d become accustomed to sharing journeys with him. My heart panged sadly, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea to keep relying on Jonathan so heavily. Besides, he employed a driver so he could work on his way to the office, and I could tell he was getting way less work done with me around.
Late on Sunday evening, I sent him a text.
Ada: Good news! I finally got my new battery installed, so I won’t need any more lifts. I’m sure you’ll be happy to see the back of me, lol. Thank you so much for taking me to and from work these last few weeks. It’s been a Godsend.
I waited for a responding text, but none came. Then, just I was getting ready to take a bath before bed, there was an abrupt knock on my apartment door. Tightening the tie around my bathrobe, I went to answer it, spying Jonathan through the peephole. He wore lounge pants and a long-sleeved shirt, an irritable expression that I couldn’t account for on his face. Had something happened?
“Jonathan? Is everything all right?” I asked as I opened the door.
“No, everything is not all right,” he replied, stepping by me and into the apartment.