7. Dad Jokes
CHAPTER 7
DAD JOKES
S ix months had passed since Tim first infiltrated Addison’s thoughts, and she still couldn’t shake him.
Addison had tried to stop overthinking her feelings for Tim, especially since their once-constant contact had dwindled to casual, spotty chit-chat. After helping Jake and Laura get back together, her hopes of rekindling their group dynamic—and her deeper connection with Tim—had fizzled. She wasn’t hurt exactly, but it frustrated her that things hadn’t developed the way she’d imagined. To make things worse, with no one to talk to about her feelings that just kept coming, her own mind was an echo chamber.
Does he think about me? Or am I just making all of this up? That question played on a loop in her head. She replayed the moment at the bar when he said he’d go home with her, analyzing his tone and the closeness between them. Six months of replaying that simple sentence had made it grow into something much bigger in her mind. She tried to rationalize her obsession, reminding herself that Tim hadn’t made any serious moves since then. Still, she found herself checking her phone for his texts more than she cared to admit.
Their texts weren’t much. Just the occasional gif, or a link to a new restaurant Tim thought she’d like. I want to be your date to these places, she thought every time.
But he never suggested getting together, and that bothered her.
What if I ask him out? Something casual and low-key. Just a friendly hangout, no pressure.
She wasn’t sure she could pull that off anymore. She’d spent too many sleepless nights imagining him in bed with her.
At work, she caught herself drafting flirty texts she’d never dare send. . She would hate for anyone to see how spicy some of them were.
I can’t live like this. I’m going to do it.
She picked up her phone, hands shaking slightly, and typed:
Addison: What’s up, slugger?
WTF. Slugger?
Tim: Slugger? Lol. Not much.
Addison: Just testing out my dad terms to get you mentally prepared for a dad joke I heard today. Ready?
Good save.
Tim: You know it. I’m not sure you can lay one on me that I haven’t heard or used, though.
Quick, think of one. Go! Addison tapped her chin in thought.
Addison: What do you call a fake noodle?
Tim: What?
Addison: An impasta.
Tim: You’re lucky you’re hot, Addie. That was terrible.
Addison grinned and felt her cheeks warm Hot? Okay, I can work with that.
Addison: Can I make it up to you with dinner?
Tim: As long as it’s not fake noodles. Actually, how do you feel about Italian? You’ve got me thinking about it now. Tonight, okay?
I can’t believe that worked out. She looked at the time on her phone and mentally calculated how long it would take to get herself ready in a way that looked effortless and breezy. That look always took at least an hour and a half to achieve.
Addison: I have strong positive feelings about Italian. Il Canale over on 31st Street?
Tim: It’s a date. I’ll pick you up in an hour.
Is it? Also, an hour? Crap. Effortless and breezy would have to be for another day. She recalculated her plan.
Il Canale wasn’t a big deal, but Italian food with a guy she was into—who was supposed to be just a friend—felt like a big deal.
Addison paced around her condo, unsure of what to do with herself. He’s picking me up? That’s new. Does he really think this is a date? Am I just too much into it because I’ve been obsessing over him for months?
She couldn’t contain her excitement. Pacing, she glanced at her watch, calculating how much time she had left to get ready. She’d been out earlier, so her outfit was cute but not trying too hard—exactly the vibe she needed. Maybe a chore or two will distract me. I need to change Prickles’ cage. Will I smell like hedgehog if I do that?
She decided to risk hedgehogginess since it was the only chore on her list, and she wasn’t going to be able to focus on TV or a book or even scroll through social media while waiting. She pulled Prickles out and let him roam around while she dumped out his bedding and freshened things up. His little snout wriggled as he took in the new smells since his last adventure on the living room rug.
Just as she finished up, she heard a knock. Her breath caught in her throat. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this nervous. . Ok, get a grip. It’s just Tim.
Tim grinned at her from the doorway, leaning casually against the frame. Her heart fluttered.
“Hey, you look great,” he said, smiling wider.
Am I blushing? Stop it, Addie. It’s just dinner.
“You too,” she replied, trying to sound calm as she grabbed her purse from the entry table.
“Are you wearing cashmere?”
“Why wear anything else?” Tim said. “Nah, I can’t fake like I’m a fancy boy. My mom got it for me for my birthday, and I was looking for something different than my normal work or gym clothes. According to her, I only own those two extremes.”
“Shall we hit it?” he asked, holding out his bent arm for her to take.
“We shall,” she said, gladly taking his cashmere-wrapped arm.
They walked side by side down the block, the chill evening air making her even more aware of the tension between them. Tim kept the conversation light, sticking to his usual funny observations about the city. Addison appreciated that. It helped her keep her cool, even though her mind was racing with unspoken thoughts. This is definitely a date. She tried her hardest to hold back a nervous giggle as they walked arm-in-arm to his car.
By the time they arrived at Il Canale, the tension had melted into the comfortable ease she always felt around him. They were seated quickly at a table by the window, the smell of garlic and fresh bread filling the air.
“This place never disappoints,” Tim said as they opened their menus. “Thanks for suggesting it. I was craving pasta after that terrible joke.”
Addison laughed. “It’s what I do—bring humor and culinary inspiration.”
Tim raised an eyebrow. “You’re a full-service friend.”
Friend. The word hit her harder than she expected. Maybe I’ve built this up in my head. Maybe that’s all this is.
“What is going on in your head,” Tim asked, snapping her out of her thoughts. “I’ve watched you go through the gambit of emotions since we’ve been sitting here, and we haven’t even ordered. You good?”
“Oh,” Addison laughed nervously. “Must be low blood sugar. I get squirrely when hungry.”
“Don’t we all,” Tim responded, amused.
Come on, think of something to say, Addison urged herself, but her mind went blank. All the effort she’d put into holding back from asking if he liked her was short-circuiting her brain. Does he like me? Am I in seventh grade? Ugh, I kind of wish I could send Lexi over to ask for me. Too bad that would be more trouble than it’s worth.
“So, what have you been up to?” she asked, trying to sound casual.
“Mostly work,” Tim said. “I’ve gotten into pickleball like every other guy our age, so I’ve been at the courts a lot in my free time. Other than that, nothing. You?”
Thinking about you. Thinking about how you would’ve come home with me if I’d asked all those months ago.
“Nothing,” she replied quickly.
“Well, aren’t we a fun pair,” Tim said with a grin, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
“Yeah,” Addison said quietly. Say something normal. “Any fun new restaurant or store openings coming up?” Did that sound like I was trying to score an invitation?
“Actually, yes,” Tim said. “I was going to see if you wanted to go with me to a store opening for a place that exclusively sells alpaca goods.”
“What?” Addison blinked. Is he kidding?
“That look on your face is priceless,” Tim laughed. “I meant it’s a store that sells things like slippers, sweaters, and blankets made out of alpaca fiber—not a feed store.”
“Oh,” Addison said, letting out a relieved chuckle. “That makes way more sense. Yeah, I’d love to go.” Is that going to be a date?
“You’re the only date I could possibly have fun with at an alpaca store.”
Date! “Date?” she blurted, then cursed herself. Crap, I said it out loud.
Tim scratched the back of his head, looking uncomfortable. “Oh... I mean, I was just thinking we always have a good time together?—”
“I’d love to be your date,” Addison cut him off, saving him from his awkward ramble. “I’ll even alpaca bag with snacks in case their refreshments don’t live up to our standards.”
“Your dad jokes are killing me.”
Addison was pleased her hormones hadn’t blown her “just friends” cover at dinner that night. While their next outing might not officially be a date, it was time spent together. That’s a step in the right direction. I’ll take it.
Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there had been sparks during dinner. He picked me up. He dressed up. It was a romantic setting. But I’m afraid to assume anything since he hasn’t said anything directly about taking this to a romantic level.
The days crawled by, her thoughts still tied up in the "what ifs" of that night. Before she knew it, the alpaca store’s opening had arrived. Addison determined to match the theme, had ordered a quirky alpaca clutch from a social media ad with overnight shipping. Thanks, algorithm! For once, I’m glad you read my mind.
An hour before Tim was due to pick her up, Addison tore open the package—and wailed in horror. She hadn’t read the description carefully, and now she was holding a poorly made alpaca-shaped clutch, not the chic, subtle one she had imagined. I was going to be on theme, but this is ridiculous.
She was still rifling through her bag collection for a suitable replacement when Tim arrived. He spotted the alpaca-shaped purse immediately and burst out laughing.
“Addie, this has to be the best purchase you’ve ever made.”“You can’t be serious,” she groaned. “I thought I was getting something different. There’s no way I’m carrying that tonight.”
“Nope. I won’t allow you to come with me unless you do. You’re going to be the hit of the party with that thing.”
“Tim...”
“I’m not budging,” he insisted. “Grab your little friend, and let’s go.”
At the party, Addison did her best to make the clutch look subtle, but it wasn’t happening. I feel like an idiot. I don’t care that everyone at the party loves this bag . I look like a kindergartener.
Tim handed her a glass of champagne and bumped her shoulder lightly. “Hey, it’s a party. Have some fun.”
“I’m trying,” she said with a half-smile.
“Try harder.”
I need to get over myself. Am I really going to let a silly fashion choice make me feel self-conscious? Addison straightened her shoulders, plastered on a grin, and raised her glass to toast with Tim. “To alpacas.”
“To alpacas,” Tim echoed, clinking his glass to hers.