10. Tom, the Possible Gigolo
CHAPTER 10
TOM, THE POSSIBLE GIGOLO
“ Y o, Allison, I want to run something by you.”
Addison shuddered visibly at Kyle’s voice.
“Whoa, douche chill,” he said, noticing her reaction. “I hate when I get those.”
You have no idea how accurate that term is right now.
“You have three minutes, Kyle. I’m right in the middle of something.”
“Nah, you gonna love this, Al. So I was watching this YouTube video about the funniest courtroom transcripts, and I was thinking you could totally make it on there. You’re so unintentionally funny when you go in on a witness. Like, it’s incredible. You go full bitch mode.”
“Let me get this straight, Kyle. You, a law school graduate who somehow also passed the D.C. bar, think it’s a good idea to create an entire defense around making it onto a YouTube highlight video?”
Addison rubbed her temples. Surely this moron is giving me premature grays.
“It would be hilarious. I know you could do it. It’d be sick publicity for the firm. We could make ads about it.”
“Ads.”
“You know, like those lawyers on TV, but on social media. Because TV is for old people.”
“Is this a joke to you?” she asked, truly baffled.
“A joke? Not at all. This place needs someone young to think outside the box for getting clients in here.”
“Kyle.” You absolute bell end. “We don’t advertise. We don’t need to. We’re one of the top firms in, not only D.C., but on the East Coast for criminal defense. We’ve successfully defended some of the biggest names out there. This isn’t some energy drink startup.”
“I thought you were cool, Allison. You’re just like all the other old people here.”
That’s the nicest thing he’s ever said to me,
“I have other ideas. Can I show you a quick slide deck? Really quick I swear. It’s in your email,” he said hopefully.
“Fine.” I’m feeling generous today.
Addison opened his slides and clicked through. The ideas were generic, but not as stupid as what came out of his mouth.
“Kyle,” she said, with as much patience as she could muster. “Why do you have ‘nostril’ as one of the bullet points?”
“Oh, yeah. I was trying to remember how to spell it for a social post, so I put it there for spell check. I guess I forgot to take it out.”
“I think we’re finished here.”
“So, you’ll think about some of my ideas? Will you take them to a partner for me? They never accept meetings from me for some reason.”
“Maybe.”
“Promise?”
Ugh. Get out of my office.
“I’ll fit it in,” she said, returning to her computer screen and clearing her throat so he’d get the point.
“Later,” he said, giving her a thumbs up.
Nostril . She couldn’t help herself. She laughed.
Addison couldn’t put it off any longer. It was time to face Lexi and give her the details about Tim. Well, not Tim exactly, but some guy like him. Lexi had been texting non-stop about who she was making pancakes for and whether it was the same guy monopolizing her time so they couldn’t have their regular nights out.
“Eee! It’s girl talk time,” Lexi squealed, hugging Addison when she arrived at the coffee shop. Addison had just come from Tim’s place, and she was full of romantic stories that she wished she could share fully with her friend.
Addison and Tim had been nearly inseparable since they’d made the move from friends to lovers. She tended to be a loner, but time with Tim was so natural and comfortable that she didn’t feel the need to retreat from the world completely.
It had been a long time since she’d had anything worth sharing, and it was killing Addison that she couldn’t let loose with all the good stuff she and Tim had been up to. Lexi would be all over a discussion about a new man who had Addison floating on air. She’d have to be careful about the details, but she could at least tell Lexi some of the juicy parts.
“Girl talk, girl talk,” Addison sang, matching Lexi’s excitement. It had been an intense few weeks of being with Tim. He was dying to go public, and Addison felt the itch herself. If only it wouldn’t bring our world crashing down around us and destroy friendships. Jake might recover quickly, but it would hurt Lexi to see Addison with Tim, especially since she’d dropped hints over the last few months that her wild child days of dating weirdos from Tinder were getting stale.
Addison and Tim had ventured out to places where they knew they wouldn’t be seen by anyone they knew, often venturing outside the city limits to Maryland and Virginia. I feel like I’m having an affair. That wasn’t exactly ideal—or sustainable.
“Let’s hear about your Tinder adventures,” Addison said, hoping to take the heat off herself for a bit.
“No way. You’ve had me going crazy with curiosity since I saw you with pancake mix weeks ago. You’ve gone missing with whoever this mystery man is. Spill. Everything. No details left out.”
Well, a few key ones have to be.
Addison grinned despite herself. She’d never been so happy, and it felt good to let it out.
“I’m not sure where to start,” she said. Do I start with when I first met him? As in, when you were dating him?
“Anywhere. Actually, no— start with how he is in bed.”
Lord, Lexi.
“Excellent. That’s enough on that topic.”
“You’re the worst. Fine, how about what he looks like?”
What he looks like. How can I be generic with this?
“He’s my standard type. Tall, fit, dark hair, totally chiseled face. Lexi, you’d love him.” You did at one point.
“And what is this golden god’s name?”
Umm...
“Tom.”
“Tom,” Lexi repeated dreamily. “Tell me everything about him. Where is he from? What does he do?”
“Arlington.” Good start. Not a lie. “He works in hospitality.” Close enough.
“Hospitality? As in, he’s a server or… he’s a gigolo? What exactly is he hospitable with?”
“A gigolo? Are you serious?” Addison dissolved into laughter. “No, he works in... restaurant publicity.”
“You’re saying that in a shady way, like how a mobster works in ‘construction.’ Are you going to be on a revival of Mob Wives , Addie? Because that would be awesome. Forget Real Housewives. You’d dominate in that cast.”
“I’m so flattered. No, he isn’t into anything illegal or illegal-adjacent. And, before you ask, no, I didn’t pick him up at the courthouse.”
“Mind reader.”
Addison couldn’t help herself. She was having fun being able to giggle over Tim or Tom.
“When am I meeting him?” Lexi asked.
I should have known that was coming and had an answer ready.
“I’m not sure,” Addison said.
Lexi looked hurt but made a valiant effort to hide it.
Too bad I can see right through you. After all of this, I’m already hurting her. “Right now, we’re in our love nest and not ready to start integrating friend groups.”
“Not even me?” Lexi asked sadly.
“You’ll be the first one, Lex. You know I haven’t had anything serious since Jake. This is kind of new for me.”
“It’s been years since Jake. I’m excited for you. You know I won’t judge Tom at all. I’m happy you’re happy, and I want to be a part of it.”
Stab me in the heart, why don’t you? I can’t keep this up. No matter what I do, it’s going to hurt Lexi.
“I get that. In fact, I love you for that. Let me get settled in more.”
“Okay, I’ll have to wait. I’ll do my best to be patient, but you know that’s not one of my virtues.” Lexi tilted her head, looking at Addison thoughtfully. “Whatever’s going on, it’s clearly good for you. I haven’t seen you this happy in years. You’re lit up from within. There isn’t a spa treatment or serum on the market that can give you this kind of glow.”
“Thanks, Lex. I am really happy. Enough about me. I need to hear about your adventures in dating.”
Lexi shifted forward and clasped her hands. Nice. That’s the patented “I have a good story” stance.
“You know that guy I went out with Tuesday night?” Addison nodded and leaned in. “Well, it turns out he raises ferrets—plural—in his studio apartment.”
“What?”
“Ferrets. Lots of them. He told me this like it was some basic fact. ‘I’m from Bethesda, I’m a Scorpio, I raise ferrets in my living space, and I like to cook.’ He was shocked when I had a lot of questions for him about that.”
“As you should have.”
“Right? I forgot the best part. His name is Garret. As in Garret’s Ferrets, his business name. He names all of them Garret, too.”
Addison snorted while laughing, which made her laugh even harder.
“I was kinda hoping you’d tell me that’s not a big deal. He’s really cute. Well, in a ferrety way, which I guess is appropriate.” Lexi heaved a sigh. “On a serious note, I feel like I’m never going to find someone I can be with for real.”
“Don’t say that. There are lots of good guys out there,” Addison said sympathetically.
“I don’t know, Addie. I think I’ve tried out all of the single ones in a fifty-mile radius. I might be doomed to be alone. I wish I could meet a guy like Tom.”
Addison tilted her head in confusion. “Who?”
“Uh, Tom? The perfect man you’ve found?” Oh, oops. Way to forget my own cover story. “Where can I find one of those?” Lexi asked, dropping her head into her hands.
You’d hate to know that you already had him before I did.