Chapter 13
CASSANDRA
I started Monday of week four with a run—on my own again, as Chelsea had once more texted to say she wasn’t going to make it. Normally I didn’t mind when she skipped our runs. But this time, I’d been worried.
Chelsea had been meeting her obligations at work still, though she’d been coming in later than usual some days. But I could no longer ignore the fact that it seemed like her constant socializing wasn’t a phase. That she was prioritizing it over her own health, and if she wasn’t careful, her work.
I’d taken her out for coffee in town last week, and asked her point blank what was going on.
“I’m fine,” she’d said, defensively, but I saw the way she’d twisted her bracelet around and around on her wrist. Mom had given her that bracelet on her twelfth birthday, I remembered.
Chelsea had taken Mom’s death harder than any of us, maybe other than Dad.
And I realized as I watched her pick at the scone she’d ordered that maybe all the partying she was doing wasn’t just a distraction or blowing off steam, but a grief response.
I also realized I’d known that all along but had been turning the other way, hoping she would burn through it on her own.
“Have you thought about therapy, Chels?” I asked. “We have an extended health plan.”
“I’m too busy.”
“What, with going to the bar?”
She’d stiffened, looking at me pointedly. “Why aren’t you in therapy?”
Next to us, two women laughed as they chatted. In the background, the clank and hiss of the espresso machine at the front amplified the time it was taking me to answer.
“I don’t know,” I’d said finally. I was being honest. Chelsea and I were rarely at odds, so I think her response had surprised both of us. My excuse, if she hadn’t already used it, would also be too busy. But that wasn’t good enough.
“Why don’t we both look into it?” I said finally, reaching for her hand across the table.
It was so thin. Guilt ran through me. I hadn’t noticed how thin she’d gotten.
“We can do it separately,” I said. “No pressure, but maybe we can let each other know if we find any good providers? Then we can check back in a month?”
Chelsea nodded, her eyes welling with tears. “I just miss her,” she said, her voice breaking. “And dad, too.”
As I went over and wrapped my arms around my little sister, I couldn’t help the fresh spark of anger at Dad’s absence. It was so selfish of him to disappear. Couldn’t he see how much we needed him?
“Have you heard from him lately?” I asked, after sitting back down in my chair.
“Not for a couple of weeks,” she said, frowning. “Should we be worried?”
“No,” I’d said, waving my hand. She shouldn’t be.
But I was. It wasn’t call-the-authorities level worry yet—he’d slipped off the grid before, once on a silent yoga retreat where he vanished for ten days and came back saying he hadn’t said a word the whole time and how exhilarating that was.
Another time when he went on a camel trek in Mongolia without telling us.
I sighed. I wished Griff was around so I could ask him to find out where he was—Griffin seemed to have mysterious resources to figure stuff like this out. But I hadn’t heard much from him either.
This morning, I vowed not to worry about my sister, trusting she had her reasons for partying, and heading off on my run, daring to take it down by the river again instead of on the trails around the resort as I’d been doing the past couple of weeks.
Blake and I were going to be outside today, checking out the outdoor amenities like the golf course and some of the outbuildings. The rain had let up over the last few days, but today the clouds hung low, heavy and gray once again and I knew it wouldn’t last.
We’d be riding in one of the golf carts, which would be fine if it was drizzling, but no good at keeping us dry in a deluge.
I picked up speed, hoping to beat the weather, and after a while, allowing myself to fall into the rhythm of my feet and heart beating in tandem.
Now this was good for clearing my mind. Perfect, actually, and the harder I ran, the clearer I felt.
I was going so hard I almost didn’t notice when I reached the corner where I’d slipped in last time.
I slowed down, careful to stay on the slope side of the trail rather than the river.
The county had set some cones out here to mark the edge of the path, and I focused on those, working hard not to look over at the island coming into view offshore. If anything could throw me today, looking at the place Blake and I first met would be it.
I was still looking down at the trail and riverbank a few minutes later when my eyes caught something shiny on the rocks further downstream.
I slowed to a stop, squinting, and debated whether it was anything important or just a piece of trash.
But something compelled me to check it out, so I climbed down to the bank.
The river was lower than it had been when I’d fallen in, and there was now enough riverbank that I could easily walk along the water until I reached the brush I’d seen the glinting in.
I actually laughed out loud when I saw it. It was a fishing rod, and I’d bet money it was Blake’s.
A warmth ran over me at the memory of his accidental innuendos on that island about his rod. It seemed like so long ago. I picked it up and disentangled the line from the bushes and made my way back home.
“Morning,” Blake said, coming in with two coffees in hand an hour later. This had grown to be our routine over the past few weeks, though its days were numbered now given we wouldn’t be in the office all day as before.
My heart clenched as I smiled. “Morning, Harrington.” I was going to miss that moment he’d appear at my door, his smile wide, ready for another day together.
I’d asked Blake on our first week together if he bought coffee every morning for all his clients, and he’d shrugged. “Only the ones I like.”
I’d looked away to hide the pink in my cheeks, but I was sure he’d seen it.
I hadn’t yet learned how to control the heat that arose around him, especially with moments like those—that verged on the edge of flirting.
Did he talk to his other clients like that too, I’d wondered?
A spike of something like jealousy had hit me, which scared me more than the other feelings.
I had no right to be jealous of Blake and any imaginary woman he might be flirting with.
Now as I reached for the coffee, his eyes meeting mine, I’d thought I was over that feeling. I’d spent the past few weeks doing just fine with this sweet coffee routine. But this morning I was thrown back to last night, when I came against the wall of my shower, picturing him doing the same.
Could he see it on my face?
A spasm of heat shot through me now. If this was how the day was going to go, I was in trouble.
“Thank you,” I said. I cleared my throat. “I have something for you,” A distraction—that’s what we needed. “Before we head out.”
“Oh yeah?” Blake’s eyebrows went up. Behind him, the door to my office was open. That’s how we’d been leaving it all week, whenever he was in here. Wide open, like an insurance policy.
I reached behind my desk and paused. “Drumroll please?”
He set his coffee down and patted the desk in a two-handed rhythm.
I pulled out his reel.
His jaw actually dropped, and I laughed.
“You found my rod!”
This time I laughed so hard I threw my head back.
“What’s so funny in there?” Eli called from across the hall.
I bit back on my laugh, my stomach squeezing. I needed to watch myself. Not just because Eli might see, but for me. Last night had been a mistake.
Blake turned. “Nothing, man, just glad to be getting outside today. Going a little wiggy with all these numbers. Don’t know how you do it all day.”
“Me neither, honestly,” Eli called. Luckily, with the attention back on himself, he didn’t press. I appreciated that Blake hadn’t told him about the fishing rod. It felt like a private joke between the two of us, and I didn’t want Eli anywhere near it.
“Where was it?” Blake asked, holding it up in his hands and looking agog at the battered aluminum.
I described where I’d found it, and Blake actually scratched his head. I had to look away because the gesture was frankly adorable.
When he looked back up, he smiled. “Thank you. My mom gave me this, before…” He shrugged.
My arms itched to reach for him, but I picked up my coffee with both hands, holding it in front of me like a shield.
“Well, thank you, Cass. It means a lot.”
It meant a lot that he’d tossed his beloved fishing rod aside to pull some strange woman out of the water, but I didn’t want to bring that up again. I couldn’t, not when I wasn’t sure what kind of confusing feelings it might pull out of me.
He lowered the rod, leaning it against the wall, and our eyes met. That old heat burned, incinerating the restraint I’d put up over the past few weeks. It was like my body knew we were going to be alone together within an hour.
What did it expect was going to happen?
Something my mind wouldn’t entertain. Couldn’t entertain.
“Should we get out of here?” I asked, my voice coming out tight.
He nodded, looking down. “Sure. Sounds good.”
We had to meet Jude to get the keys to one of the golf carts before heading out to the course, which was our first order of business.
Blake was going to scout spots all over the property to photograph for the funding prospectus Lila was going to be preparing as a part of their final report.
This would be a thoroughly researched and vetted application to submit to financiers who would help us fund the work we would do to fulfill the project’s vision.
The golf course was one of the key assets at the resort that we needed to highlight, which was why we were spending half the day there today.