Chapter 26
REESE
TRACK: Sam Smith, “Stay With Me”
I don’t want to let Eli go. I want to live here, up in his arms, forever.
Eli’s arms are so solid around me, his voice so steady against my body, shaking with adrenaline.
“You did it, baby. You did it.”
“I survived,” I whisper, my feet still dangling off the floor.
“You did more than that, Reese.” He pulls back, brushing my hair from my face. There are tears in my eyes. Tears in his eyes. “You showed them everything I see, and they loved it.”
When he finally lets me go, I’m swarmed. Eager people shaking my hand, patting my shoulder. Telling me how amazing that was. Young musicians asking me how I made my voice do that and made my old beat-up guitar make those sounds.
When I get back to our table, Nora throws her arms around me. “The world isn’t ready for you, Reese.”
I squeeze her so tightly I’m sure I’m going break her tiny frame. “But I’m finally ready for the world, Nor.”
She nods, tears brimming.
We stay for a few more songs, me sitting next to Nora now and Jude and Eli deep in conversation. The music ranges from very good to ear-scratching, but we cheer exuberantly at them all.
Finally, I lean into Eli and whisper, “Take me home, Eli. I want to end this night with you, in your arms.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. Eli’s up on his feet, arm hooked around my shoulder, and a moment later we’re outside, tromping through the snow, laughing and singing—me passionately, Eli hilariously off-key—I honestly had no idea he couldn’t hold a tune to save his life.
We barely make it through the door of my apartment, peeling off each other’s clothes right there in the hallway, and Eli chases me into bed, shrieking and laughing and not caring about waking up my neighbors.
Not caring about anything at all except this night, and this man, and this life.
When I wake up in the morning, the sun is streaming through my open curtains.
I blink, throwing my arm over my eyes. Did I forget to close those last night?
I pinch my lips, holding in a laugh. The neighbors would have gotten a show given all the exuberant lovemaking Eli and I got up to before passing out sometime in the wee hours.
My inner-thigh muscle is strained, somehow.
But when I stretch my other arm out for Eli, my arm pats nothing but empty sheets.
I fling my arm off my eyes and sit up on my elbow, furrowing my brow. “Eli?”
“Morning, gorgeous.”
I turn to see Eli sitting in the chair next to the window, setting his phone down in his lap. He’s wearing his jeans, but no shirt, his hand distractedly stroking behind Rufus’s ear.
He looks sexy, with his rumpled hair and scruff. But more than that, he looks like he belongs here, with Rufus.
With me.
But it’s then I notice his knee bouncing, and the jerky movement of his arm as he runs his hand over his jaw. He glances down at his phone, then back at me.
“Eli? Everything okay? You look like you drank a whole pot of coffee.”
“I went over my limit a bit,” he says sheepishly. “Took Rufus out for a little walk.”
“Did you forget your shirt?”
Eli looks down. “Oh…yeah…just wore my jacket.”
I smile, confused. He’s so distracted. I see him glance at his phone again, and a spike of worry goes through me. I open my mouth, but Eli smiles, his eyes meet mine, and he comes over, sitting on the edge of the bed. “First, this.” He leans in to kiss me.
For a moment I’m distracted by the sensation of his lips on mine, the quick sweep of his tongue, his hand clasping my jaw.
But when he breaks the kiss, alarm rocks through my stomach at his expression. “Eli, talk to me. What’s wrong?”
Eli stands up. “Nothing’s wrong.”
Relief washes over me, knowing at least it’s not bad news.
“At least, I think everything is okay,” he continues. “Better than okay. I’m just not sure what you’re going to think—”
I let out a huff of frustration. This calls for drastic measures. I flip the duvet off. “Eli, tell me what’s going on.”
Eli sucks in a breath. “Goddamn, Reese.”
I’m fully naked.
“I’ll be right back,” he says in a choked kind of voice. “You know I can’t think when you’re naked.” Despite my anxiousness to find out what’s happening, I can’t help the little smile stretching across my face.
When he comes back a moment later, he’s holding my phone. I remember how we left all our clothes out in the hallway.
But he doesn’t hand it to me yet. He just holds it and says, “This is the last moment we’re going to have like this.”
Panic sends my stomach into a free-fall. “What are you talking about?”
“This is the before,” he says, sitting down and kissing my forehead. Then he hands me my phone.
The moment I touch it, the screen lights up. I have over six-hundred text messages. Six hundred.
Rufus barks, like he’s picking up on my alarm.
I scroll madly. They’re from everyone. Michelle. Mom. My brother Pietro in London and even my dad, who can’t text to save his life.
“It’s the video, Reese,” Eli says. Rufus has jumped up into his lap and he’s holding him back to keep him from jumping on me.
My heart thunders in my chest. “Video?” I whisper. Even though I know. I know it’s the song last night. I remember, vaguely, Nora with her video camera. Other people with their phones up, too.
My texts keep going. Sophie. Rufus. Neil. Half the contestants on Chef’s Apprentice—how did they get my number?
“Todd,” I say dumbly. “Even Todd.”
All the texts say variations on the same thing.
OMG! You’re famous!
I had no idea you could sing!
Holy shit, Reese!
“Here,” Eli says, dropping a link onto my phone. I open it to see the video.
Of me.
On stage.
I scroll up—it’s Jude’s social page. “Eli,” I whisper. “What is happening?” I say it, but I already know. I know even as Eli says the words.
“He posted the video Nora took, Reese. I… He didn’t think it was going to take off like that. Idiot. Of course it would. It’s you, and he’s got people with gazillions of followers on there.”
My stomach bucks violently and I drop the phone. “I’m going to be sick.”
“Reese!” Eli’s next to me, Rufus now on the ground, barking madly. Eli holds me up as I try to stand, my knees immediately buckling. He lowers me onto the bed again, only this time, we let Rufus jump into my lap. “I’m sorry. I’ll kick his ass, Reese.”
I laugh, but it’s a scared kind of sound. “No, Eli.” I cling to Rufus, and Eli holds my back, rubbing circles down low as we both watch the video still playing on my phone on the floor.
Eli picks it up so we can both see it better. “I could ask him to take it down but… You’re a star, Reese,” he says, softly, as on screen, my face is tilted up to the light. “Just look.”
I look so happy. I hardly recognize myself, and yet at the same time, it’s like watching my own heart performing. Like something out of a long-lost fantasy I’d locked away for so long I didn’t know I could still imagine it, let alone do it.
Last night felt like a happy blur, but this—this. This is real.
“I look like my calendar,” I say finally, tears in my eyes.
Eli laughs, but he’s nodding. “Yes, baby. You’re one of them.”
When I see the number of views on the video, I feel faint. Over a million people have seen it, and it’s only—I check the time—nine in the morning. It’s too late to take it down now. It’s everywhere.
Once I feel steady enough on my feet, I swallow hard, thrusting my phone at Eli. “I need a minute.”
He nods, giving me space. “I’ll make some food.”
I go into the bathroom, locking the door, which is ridiculous, so I unlock it again. I turn on the shower, but when I get in, I’m not sure if I can stay on my feet, so I sit down. Then I lay down on my back, closing my eyes, trying to concentrate on the feel of the shower hitting my skin.
Part of me is furious with Eli. But the anger has no legs. He did this for me. Or at least, he opened the door for me.
Everyone else came rushing in.
But Eli saw past my baggage and into my heart. He knew what I wanted. He’d seen me look at that calendar.
He’d heard me sing. I look down at my wrist, where the words he wrote last night are still on my skin, albeit blurring now.
Show them everything.
“Eli!” I cry.
Eli comes banging in a half second later, Rufus barking on his heels. “Reese! Are you okay?”
I realize he probably thinks I fell, and I laugh. And then I’m laughing and crying, and Eli’s on his knees next to the tub, holding onto my arms as I cry into his shoulder.
Rufus licks my forehead, and I tuck it into his neck.
“You’re getting wet,” I whisper.
“I didn’t notice,” he says, but that only makes me laugh more, because his hair is dripping, water running down his cheeks into his scruffy beard.
Then he’s grinning too, that mega-watt grin that has my whole heart. Rufus grins next to him.
“Will you stay with me?” I ask.
Eli meets my eye, then nods, telling Rufus to sit, which he does, obediently, on the bathmat.
Then Eli climbs into the tub, jeans and all.
I laugh, incredulously. Because of course he’s taking me literally. But he knows—I know he knows I mean stay after this. Through this. Through whatever comes after.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he says, scooping me up and holding me tight. “I’m right here.”
“Eli,” I say against his chest, the light hair there tickling my cheek.
“Yes, baby.”
I sit up, then jerk the shower curtain closed, as if Rufus cares.
“Show me,” I say suddenly. Urgently.
My eyes go to his jeans, which are nearly soaked through now.
He brings his broad hands to his waist. How have I never noticed how beautiful his hands are? Wide and strong with long, tapered fingers. Hands I want to hold on to me and never let me go.
Eli unbuttons his jeans. He’s wearing nothing under them, like he slipped them on in a rush this morning, unsure of what else to do. It’s then I realize this moment isn’t just mine. It’s his. It’s ours.
Together we slide his wet jeans down far enough to free his cock, which is already half hard. When I touch him, it thickens immediately. By the time I straddle him, sliding onto him like I belong there, he’s like a rock inside of me, filling me so completely I gasp.
He curls up, taking my nipple in his mouth, groaning as I ride his cock, relishing this moment between us as if it were our last, when I know it can’t be.
That I never want to let him go. When his hand slips down between my legs, his thumb working my clit, it’s only a moment before we release together, pulsing around each other’s bodies as we cry out each other’s names.
It’s all I can do to keep from floating away with him into forever.