Chapter 10 #2
“She can. Or, if you’re comfortable, she can lie by your feet. Some clients prefer she have her chin on their knees. Some even ask permission for her to jump on the couch and join them.”
“Really?” I eyed the beautiful dog. “And she doesn’t shed?”
“We vacuum the couch when necessary. We are a working ranch, though. We encourage informality. When possible. For some people, they’re just not able to let go like that.”
I eyed my wool pants. “These are going to the dry cleaners anyway.” I met the dog’s gaze. “Would you like to come up?”
She shot her gaze to Justin.
“If you pat the spot next to you and say up, then she knows it’s okay.”
With more confidence than I felt, I patted the spot next to me and said, “Up.”
She leapt gracefully into the air and landed next to me. She curled up and laid her chin on my thigh.
“Oh.”
“If you’re not comfortable—”
“No. This is fine.” I met Justin’s gaze.
“Truly. My, uh…” Tentatively, I stroked her snout.
“My ex-husband has a dog who my kids adore. When I was younger, I wanted a dog. Now, with my job as demanding as it is, dogs simply aren’t a possibility.
But I want to be more comfortable around them.
So I can show my kids that I can be…less stuffy. ”
“You’re worried about your children thinking you’re too stuffy?”
I shrugged. “My ex and his partner are easygoing. I haven’t always been.
I worry so much about the kids that sometimes I forget to just let go and to let them have fun being kids.
I’ve worked in the ER. I’ve done a rotation in orthopedic surgery.
I know how easily little ones can get hurt.
Well, everyone, in fact. Humans are amazingly frail, and it’s a wonder we stay alive. ”
“The human body is a wondrous thing, that’s for certain.” Justin put his plate on the coffee table, snagged his tea, and took a sip. “So you’re dealing with kids, a demanding job, and an ex-husband. Sounds like you’ve got a full plate.”
“Yeah, I do.” I eyed him. “You might know my ex.”
“Oh?”
“Gideon Rodgers.”
The moment recognition hit, Justin winced.
“You weren’t his counselor. He said he saw Kennedy.”
“That’s true. But I live down the street from Gideon. He’s been to my house. Trevor is Opal’s age, and they get along.”
“Shit.”
“Right.” He sipped his tea. “I can refer you to Avery. She doesn’t know Gideon. She’s excellent—”
“Will you judge him based on things I say?”
“I’m just not certain—”
“Do you know his story?”
Justin cocked his head. “He shared some things with me. He’s certainly never spoken to me about an ex-husband—whether positively or negatively.”
“Are you a friend of his?” This was going badly.
“I’d say we’re friendly.”
“Like most people are…in a small town.” And I was learning how small Mission City really was. I should’ve picked someone in Abbotsford. Close to the hospital.
“How did you hear about us?” Justin again sipped his tea.
“Gideon.”
“So he knows you might turn up here.”
“Yes. He recommended Kennedy. But she was busy.”
“And I had an opening.” He held my gaze. “Whatever is said in here stays in here. Standard rules apply—if a child is being hurt or you’re clearly going to hurt someone else or yourself then I have an obligation to report.”
“Right.” All of which I knew. “I’m not here about Gideon. Well, I mean, he’s the father of our children and my ex-husband…but I’m here because I need some help. Moving on. Trusting.”
“What shattered the trust?”
“You’re assuming I trusted in the first place.”
He inclined his head. “Fair point.”
I waved him off. “I did trust. And that trust was broken. But it’s being rebuilt, and I just need to figure out how to let go of some of this vigilance.”
“You’re a surgeon.”
“Yes.”
“So you see people on their worst day. Possibly of their lives.”
“Yes.”
“After facing that situation, day in and day out, anyone might find it difficult to have faith in things. Especially things they can’t see.”
“I don’t believe in God. At least not the one my parents believed in. That Gideon’s parents believed in.”
“That’s fair. I tend to place my trust in my fellow man—all the while knowing life can be a bitch and throw us curve balls we’re not expecting.”
“He let me down. He broke my trust.”
Justin began to speak, but I cut him off.
“I’m not here to talk about his personal demons. Through our conversations, it’s clear that his counseling with Kennedy has made a world of difference. Basically, he’s a different man than the one he was two years ago. He’s more like the man I married.”
“The divorce was…”
“My idea.”
“And you’re now regretting that?”
I shook my head. Then paused. “I can’t undo the past. I can’t unring the bell. I can’t make different choices. All I can do is make better decisions moving forward. I trust our children with Gideon and Archer. At least my head does. My gut still churns at the thought.”
“Because of his previous behavior.”
I nodded. “Yeah. But this is on me. He’s better. He’s so very much better. And I have to learn to give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“But your past experience is telling you that’s not as easy as it sounds.”
“That’s right.” I continued to stroke Tiffany’s ears. “But it’s even more complicated.”
“Okay.” He said the word tentatively.
“I’ve met someone. And I got off on the wrong foot with him, and then I think I’m not ready for a relationship anyway. Except he’s always around, and now I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“Do you work together?”
I nodded. “Complicated, right?”
“Well…workplace romances are common because we spend so many hours at work. In your job, I suspect you spend most of your time in the hospital.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I’ve never been on a date.”
He blinked.
“Right? I married my high school sweetheart and then, even after the divorce, I didn’t see anyone. I finally get up the courage to try to find someone and I wind up in bed with my future coworker. And that’s when things got interesting.”
Justin straightened. “Okay. Let’s take this from the beginning.”