Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Leo
When I delivered the kids on Sunday night, that familiar pang of pain shot through me.
I’d never wanted to be a weekend parent.
Gideon and I were supposed to be doing this together—both always there.
Even if I was working, I’d known my kids waited for me at home.
Likely with Gideon, who often got home before I did because of his early morning start.
None of that was happening now.
As Melodie and Trevor chatted on about their awesome weekend, Gideon caught my gaze. He cocked his head.
I blinked.
Archer stepped forward. “Lucky really missed you. Why don’t we have some cuddle time before bed? Then maybe I can read you a story?”
“Daddy.” Trevor crossed his arms.
Gideon crouched as best he could. “Absolutely. You cuddle with Lucky then change into your pajamas, brush your teeth, get into bed, and I’ll be there to read you a story.”
“Promise.” Melodie twirled a lock of her ebony curls in her fingers.
“I promise.” Gideon straightened.
No missing the expression of concern on Archer’s face—including the little furrow in his brow.
Gideon offered him a smile that I knew was meant to reassure.
It had for me, because I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the depth of his pain.
What did Archer see?
He pressed a kiss to Gideon’s temple, then held out his hands for the kids. They grasped and held tight as he guided them, Lucky trailing behind. He gave Gideon a final look before turning the corner.
“He’s protective of you.”
Gideon pivoted his gaze to mine. “Archer or Lucky?”
I chuckled. “Both.”
“Yeah, that’s true. Lucky saw me through some really rough times. As did Archer, I suppose.”
“Like trying to get custody of our kids back?”
His smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, for sure. I didn’t believe that was possible—but Archer held firm to his belief that he could succeed where my previous lawyer had failed spectacularly.”
“No small order. I was an asshole.”
“You were protective of our children. Do you want to sit down?” He gestured toward the more-formal living room.
Archer and the kids were either in the family room at the back of the house or even in the playroom downstairs.
He’d planned this house for elegant sophistication, but had pivoted when he secured the affection of both my husband and my children.
Ex-husband.
“For a few minutes.” I toed off my shoes and stepped onto the plush carpet. The walls were cream, and the furniture was mostly dark brown with lighter accents. “It’s a nice home.” The men had given me a tour—ostensibly to show me where the kids’ things were and how they’d be well cared for.
“I still feel like I’m a visitor.” Gideon sat on the couch while I took the high-backed chair opposite him.
“Really? Archer doesn’t seem like someone to stand on ceremony—despite the, uh, sophistication of this house. From what I’ve seen—” I swallowed. “—he adores you. He loves the kids. He even accepts a dog who sheds black fur everywhere.” The kids often had a stray tuft attached to their clothes.
“You make it sound easy. I constantly worry about spills. About disasters. About him running out of patience with me, Lucky, or the kids.”
I sat a little straighter. “He has a temper?”
“Nope. Not at all. Even with his sister Cherish—who annoys the shit out of him sometimes—he’s always calm. He’s got such an even keel. Except—”
“Except.” Because I had to hear the end of that thought.
“He doesn’t do well if I’m having a bad day physically. And I do have bad days. Top that off with the financial strain—”
My jaw dropped.
“Oh no, that’s not what I mean. Just…my benefits got cut off when I moved in with Archer—which makes sense—but that means I can’t contribute to household expenses.
Eventually, I want to find a job. Maybe something I can do from home.
We both know that between my learning disability and my struggle with computers, that I’m not exactly employable. Plus the physical stuff.”
“Is Archer pushing you to work?”
Gideon forced out a laugh. “The opposite. He bought me a new SUV so I can take the kids everywhere and be safe. He gives me a generous allowance and has made it clear he doesn’t need—or ever want—an accounting of where the money goes.”
“Yet you spend almost none of it.” I knew him.
His brown eyes found mine. “You know me well.”
“Because of all the lean times we endured. You wouldn’t now just go around spending willy-nilly.”
He shook his head. “Archer ensures all the kids’ needs are met. The money is for me. Heck, he even put me on his health insurance so the extended benefits—things not covered by universal healthcare—are paid for.”
I cocked my head.
“Physiotherapy, massage therapy, all my medications—”
“What medications?” None of my business, but I felt like I needed to know.
“Nothing serious. Just a really good anti-inflammatory. I hope I won’t be on it forever but, for now, it’s making a real difference.”
Guilt gnawed away at me. “I can afford to pay you spousal support. It wouldn’t be much—”
“Leo.” Soft and beseeching.
I desisted.
“I’m not asking you for money. I’ll continue to squirrel away a bit every month for a rainy day fund.”
“In case he leaves you. Or you leave him.”
Pain flashed in Gideon’s eyes. “He insisted I keep my grandparents’ house.
I’ve rented it out to a family down on their luck.
I mean, they’re hardly paying anything. I would’ve offered it for free, but Archer pointed out that pride was a thing.
But yes, if I need to move back there, I always can.
” He gestured toward the adjacent property.
“It would kill me to live right next door. But I’d do it.
To protect the kids, Leo, I’d do anything. ”
“You won’t have to. I mean, I see the way Archer looks at you.
If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.
He’s a good man, Gideon. I did my homework before I agreed to his request I see you.
Clearly he was going to be close to our children if his relationship with you continued—I needed to be certain he was a reliable person.
Now, I could only discover so much. Through our conversations, though, it became abundantly obvious just how damn much he loved you.
” I shifted. “But that’s not what I’m saying.
If things don’t work out, I’ll take care of you. I’m not going to let you suffer.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“But I do.” Even as I wondered about my sanity. “You’ll always be my first love. Yes, I stopped trusting you. For good reasons, I believe.”
He inclined his head. Not agreement…but not disagreement.
“I’d never see you go homeless. Or suffer. That wouldn’t just be cruel—it would hurt our children in a way I’ve sworn never to put them through again.”
The smile he offered was small. But there nonetheless.
“You’ll meet someone, Leo. A guy like you isn’t meant to be alone. You’ll meet someone, and you’ll fall in love, and you’ll forget all about this silly promise. And that’s okay.” He added that quickly. “You were meant to be with someone.”
“You believed you weren’t.”
Slowly, he nodded. “I felt like I didn’t deserve happiness.”
My lungs seized. I was the reason for that. I had made him question his worth in the world. That shame would always be on me. “And now?” I pushed the words out past a tight throat.
“Things are better.” He offered a smile. “Yes, Archer’s part of that. You are as well. You let me back in.” He blinked several times. “I have my kids back. I will always be grateful to you for that. I needed time to figure my shit out—”
“I was wrong.”
He shook his head. “Maybe for the length of time, but not the reason. You did what you thought was best. You’ve always had our children’s best interests at heart. That’s damn powerful, Leo.”
“But I didn’t have your best interests at heart.” I’d thrown him away when he’d needed me most.
“You were under a tremendous amount of pressure, and letting me go—well, forcing me out—was the easiest solution. Look, I’m not going to spend my life angry at you.
Resentful of you. You did what you had to do.
I’d like to think, if the shoe had been on the other foot, that I would’ve handled things differently.
The truth is, I don’t know. Hopefully, I’ll never find out. ”
Does he mean he’s worried I’ll become a drug addict? An unfit parent? I used to be able to read his mind—this new Gideon wasn’t accessible to me in that way—and maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. “Where do we go from here?”
His eyes softened. “You continue to trust that Archer and I will take care of the kids. You find a way to move on with your life—”
“I’ve moved on.” Defensive much? “I don’t need a man in my life. Not if I don’t want one.”
“That’s fair, Leo. You were always such a great husband.”
Until the end. But Gideon wouldn’t say that—not in his nature.
“I can’t say whether you’d be happier sharing your life with someone. When I stack up my time with you, my time alone, and now my time with Archer? My happiest times have been with someone.”
“Because when you were alone, you were truly alone. You didn’t even have the kids.”
Slowly, he nodded. “That’s true. I can point out I had a rescue dog who depended on me, but that only goes so far. Yes, I’m happier with the kids in my life. I always will be.”
“So maybe that’s enough for me.”
“Maybe it is.” He offered a shy smile. “And if you kept spending time with a certain nurse, that would be okay too.”
My jaw dropped.
He smiled. “Don’t blame the gossip mill—small-town living, Leo. Trust me, you get used to it.”
“Dare I ask?” Although I had asked his permission, I’d also been crystal clear this was just me asking a friend over. Or so I thought.
“Well—” Gideon bit his lower lip—something he only did when he was seriously worried about something.