Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Quinton
Humming to myself, I sat to remove my shoes at the end of my shift. Quick shower, drive to Leo’s, get fucked again…
That happened every night I wasn’t working and he didn’t have the kids. Taking one for the team had long gone by the wayside. Now I was just getting fucked for the sake of getting my rocks off.
Well, and sort of trying really hard not to fall for the not-so-arrogant surgeon.
He was just…so adorable. An amazingly caring father.
A sensitive lover. A huge cuddler. Yeah, hadn’t seen that one coming.
Every night, after a good bout of hot sex, he’d clean us up with a hot washcloth, slip into bed behind me, and spoon me until we fell asleep.
Of course, that meant setting my alarm earlier so I could go home first.
Mama had kept quiet. Minding her own business. Smiling to herself.
After today, though, I was off for twenty-four hours and then doing four nights in a row.
No seeing Leo—he’d be coming while I was going and vice versa.
Then he had the kids for the weekend. He’d made noises about having me over again.
The snow had melted, but he was certain if I brought Mama’s cookies again that the kids would overlook the fact Papa’s friend was there again.
He suggested a hike in the woods or taking the kids somewhere.
He had no idea how much of a family that made us seem like. Or he was willfully blind. With him, it could go either way.
“Oh, there you are.” Pablo swept into the change room.
I rolled my eyes. “Where else would I be during shift change?”
He stopped. “You didn’t hear about what’s going on in recovery?”
“No.” I shoved my feet back into my shoes.
“There’s a code—”
I was out the door and running down the hall. I hadn’t heard a code being called. Hell, I was off duty and it wasn’t either my floor or my problem, but my feet carried me as fast as I could go.
Marlena would have a shit fit about me running, but I couldn’t worry about that now.
Leo’d performed a major surgery today. Repairing an aortic dissection.
I’d kept an ear to the ground as the day had passed. Fortunately, my general ward had been quiet today and Lucia had texted a couple of updates that I was able to retrieve on my breaks. This surgery was huge news.
As I arrived at recovery, I almost knocked into two orderlies pushing a bed. Marty caught my gaze. “Had to get out of there.”
My heart sank.
Still, I poked my head into the doorway—wanting to stay out of the way, but also wanting to know what the fuck was going on.
What was going on was Dr. Karlson running a cardiac-arrest team.
Oh shit.
The flatline was a clear indication things weren’t going well.
And yet she kept going. Barking instructions, running through the protocol. Doing everything she could to save the woman’s life.
“Dr. Rodgers?” Michelle Landry’s voice carried above the noise. The head nurse was a formidable woman, and woe be the person who crossed her.
Leo, leaning against the back wall, merely nodded.
I’d never seen a man so devastated. Part of me wondered why he wasn’t intervening. The rest of me understood even he would’ve known swapping a doctor from a code blue team to a surgeon would’ve been a bad idea.
Dr. Karlson stood back.
Michelle flipped off the pulse monitor.
The room was, for that moment, dead calm.
“She had a massive stroke, Dr. Rodgers.” Michelle gestured to the still form on the table.
“Even if we restarted her heart, it wouldn’t have been to anyone’s benefit.” Dr. Karlson removed her gloves and met Leo’s stare. “I doubt this had anything to do with your surgery. You know the risks. We all know the risks.”
Without the surgery, the aortic dissection would’ve likely been fatal.
Leo had done the right thing to operate.
Post-op complications were a fact of life.
A clot to the brain was just one of those things.
Horrible for everyone in this room—and especially the woman’s family—but Leo had done everything in his power.
The man continued to stare at his patient.
Finally, a nurse covered her with a sheet.
“I have—” Leo swallowed. “Thank you, everyone. I know you did your best, and I’m appreciative. I need to speak to her family.”
“No, that’s my job.” Dr. Karlson stepped toward us.
We all knew she was offering to let Leo off the hook. Most likely, he hadn’t done anything wrong. That didn’t change the outcome, though.
He straightened. “They’ve met me. I need to do this. I’ll tell them—” He straightened. “—that the team did everything they could. Thank you.” He turned toward the door. And stopped in his tracks when he saw me.
In that moment, I saw everything. The anguish.
The pain. The don’t touch me or I’ll fucking lose my shit.
I’d been there. Once when I lost a young patient.
I rarely handled end-of-care cancer patients, but I had that day.
I’d been as distraught over the parents’ reaction as I had been for the death of the young girl.
That kind of loss didn’t go away—no matter how many times it happened.
I stepped out of his way.
He nodded, then left.
“Quinton?” Michelle stepped my way.
“Thought maybe I could help.” A lame excuse, but the head nurse nodded.
She held my gaze. “Thanks for coming. Are you off now, or just starting your shift?”
“Off.”
“Well, head home. Say hi to your mom from me.” With that, she turned her attention back to the team who were preparing the patient to be moved to the morgue. An autopsy would either confirm Leo hadn’t been responsible, or show what he might have done wrong. And what he could learn from.
He’s never lost a patient before. At least not one where he had control of the outcome.
That always felt so impossible to me. Or maybe I’d misunderstood, and he’d merely meant he’d never made an error.
Which also felt absurd, but he was still young in his surgical career. He’s going to be devastated.
Yet, as much as I wanted to stay at the hospital, I couldn’t find an excuse to.
No one knew about my fuck sessions with Leo any night we were both free.
Even Lucia wasn’t privy to this information.
Mama only knew I had a new beau in my life.
She had this permanent grin on her face, and I worried she might spill the beans and say something to a coworker or friend—but she never did.
I slid into my driver’s seat, closed the door, and sat.
Already, my breath frosted the air. Okay, so sitting here and wallowing won’t work.
Because as much as the woman hadn’t been my patient, she’d still died.
She’d been Leo’s responsibility, and no way was that not going to eat away at him.
So what next? How could I offer support? Did he even want support?
Most importantly…where would he go? He wasn’t going to stick around the hospital once he delivered the bad news.
Nothing more to be done tonight, and he’d loathe the pitying looks the other medical staff were bound to give.
I knew—because I’d given that look more than once.
People died. Most of the time we did everything right, and they still died.
Sometimes we fucked up, and they died. Not often—but it did happen.
We were human. Fallible. Imperfect. We couldn’t save everyone.
Your nuts are going to freeze.
Yeah, that.
Leo’s SUV was two rows over, and watching it—then following—somehow felt like stalking.
I started my vehicle.
Right. Like going to his house isn’t also the definition of stalking.
Well, that might be true. He might also head to a local bar to drown his sorrows. He might pick someone up and take them to a hotel room. Hell, he might even bring them home.
He’s never brought anyone to his house except for you.
True…but there’s also never been anyone else.
My internal monologue huffed at that one. It hated when I was right about something.
Still, I backed out of my parking spot. Once out of the hospital parking lot, I directed my SUV north. To Mission City.
As I crossed the Mission-Abby bridge, I had a moment to contemplate my next move. Obviously, I was going to Leo’s house. I had enough of a charge to run my SUV for a while, so staying warm wasn’t a huge issue. The rest? I just didn’t know.
Fast food or…fast food?
I ran through all the options in Mission City—and there were many for such a small town.
In a tossup between A&W, Wendy’s, and Fifties, the latter won out. Yes, I’d have to wait longer for the food. But Leo wasn’t going to race home. Or maybe he would and I’d arrive with the fresh food and—
What?
I still didn’t have an answer for that.
Sarabeth’s sunny smile nearly undid me as I stepped out of the chilly night and into the warm diner.
“Your friend joining you?”
I shook my head. “To go.”
She yanked out her pad and took my order. I chose way too many things, but I couldn’t even begin to figure out what Leo might eat. Hell, he might refuse food altogether. He might refuse to let you in. Well, yeah. That too.
I sat at the counter and scrolled through my phone as I waited.
Luckily, the diner wasn’t too busy tonight, and the food was ready quickly.
Barely enough time for me to pick out the color scheme for my St. Patrick’s Day party.
Emerald green was a given—but I liked to add in other colors.
More of a rainbow palette of complementary shades.
More bold than pastel. I’d leave pastel for Easter.
Sure, celebrating Easter was a little macabre.
But many of the people in my life were single and needing a place to be social.
To my knowledge, only a few attended church services.
“You okay?” Sarabeth helped me put the containers into the cloth bag I’d brought in from the car.
“Are you off work on the eighteenth?”
“Of March?”
I nodded.