Chapter 9 #2
“Sweetheart,” I said softly, stepping closer to him and resting my hands on his shoulders for a moment before cupping the side of his face with one hand.
“Something is wrong,” I went on. “You don’t have to tell me, but I really do want to help if I can.
I…I have a feeling a few things today triggered you.
I think maybe you overheard Gilbert and I talking about something this evening which, by the way, had nothing at all to do with you, but maybe you thought it did? ”
Brian snapped his head up to look at me, his eyes like a deer in the headlights. He worked his mouth for a few seconds before sound came out. “I did hear the two of you talking in the office,” he said, his voice quiet and hoarse. “About…about how stupid I am.”
“Sweetheart, no.” My heart felt like it would start bleeding at the vulnerability in Brian’s eyes.
It was like I could see years of hurt and shame bubbling to the surface.
I hated it, and I was determined to do something about it.
“You’re not stupid, Brian,” I told him. “You’re one of the cleverest people I know. ”
Surprise filled Brian’s expression. “I’m really not.”
“You’re constantly coming up with great ideas for the café,” I told him. “Not just games night, although that’s huge. You’ve had so many good suggestions over the years, like how to arrange the tables and which seasonal decorations to put up. You’re damn good at your job.”
“I’m just a barista,” he said, intensity growing as his body tensed. “I can’t even—” He stopped, looking hard at me.
I stroked a thumb over the side of his face. His confession was there, just under the surface. I wasn’t going to force it out of him. It was Brian’s secret to tell. But I could say something that might help.
“Hey,” I started, clasping his face with both hands. “I love you.”
A shot of adrenaline rocketed through me as the words left my lips. I meant them with my whole heart, but it was a big thing to say them out loud, especially since it could be argued we were at the very beginning of our relationship. It didn’t feel to me like we’d only just hooked up, though.
“You—” He didn’t get any farther.
“I love you,” I repeated, smiling. “You’re everything I’ve always wanted and more. And yeah, I’ll be honest and upfront and say that I love the idea of taking care of you. I know a lot of guys wouldn’t want that, but I feel like maybe you do.”
Brian swallowed hard. His eyes went glassy, and after a long hesitation, he nodded.
I couldn’t help myself. I leaned in, slanting my mouth over his in a possessive kiss. Brian really was everything I could have wished for in a man, in a partner. If it took my every waking moment to convince him of that, then I’d devote everything to making him feel secure, in us and in himself.
“I can’t read,” he said in a broken voice as our kiss ended.
The vulnerability in his eyes was off the charts, which only made me want to wrap him up in my arms and keep him safe even more.
“I mean, I can puzzle some things out sometimes, but my dyslexia is so bad that I might as well be illiterate.”
“It’s okay,” I said immediately, stroking the side of his head.
Brian shook his head, tears escaping his eyes as he lowered his head slightly.
“It’s not okay. It’s definitely not okay to exist in this world without being able to do something as basic as reading.
My parents were so focused on academics and me doing well in school.
They were so embarrassed to have a son who could barely read children’s books when he was in high school. ”
“I assume they had you tested, or whatever they do in schools,” I said.
Brian lowered his head even more and shook it.
“They didn’t want to have me tested. They said it would only label me as incompetent in the school system.
They insisted they could tackle my education themselves.
They said they had all these methods that would work, but none of them ever did.
Mostly, they just made my life a living hell. ”
“Baby, I’m so sorry.” I pulled Brian into my arms.
“After a while, I figured out how to use my phone and a bunch of apps to make it look like I was okay,” he said, his cheek against my shoulder and his arms around my waist. “I never got good grades, although I had a few teachers who understood. I just wanted to make my parents happy. I thought it would be fine once I graduated high school, but they insisted I go to college.”
“I guess that makes sense,” I said.
“I thought there was no way I would get in, not with my test scores and pitiful application,” Brian went on.
“I think they pulled some strings. But you can only do so much to hide the truth. I’d barely been in classes for two weeks when I was asked to read something aloud for an English class.
I couldn’t do it, of course. Except the professor thought I was making fun of him.
There was a huge scene. I got called into the dean’s office along with my parents.
” He paused and buried his face against my shoulder.
“It was so bad. I was kicked out, of course.”
“And then you came to Glenside, looking to get away from it all,” I said, the puzzle pieces all fitting together at last.
“Yeah,” Brian said, leaning back. “I thought I was running away, but then I found the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I wanted to flatter myself by thinking he was talking about me, but I knew the best thing that had happened to him was Common Grounds.
It could be argued that Common Grounds was the best thing that had ever happened to me, too.
It was my family and my livelihood, but it had brought me and Brian together as well.
“You don’t think I’m stupid, do you?” Brian asked, inching back enough to look up at me. The uncertainty in his expression was heartbreaking.
“No, sweetheart,” I said. I kissed him lightly, then went on with, “I don’t think you’re stupid.
I think you’re kind and thoughtful and gorgeous.
I think you have an unfortunate challenge that the people who should have helped you with fumbled badly.
I think you’re brave for putting up with all that and for getting away from it. ”
“Really?” Brian blinked away more tears.
“Really,” I said, then kissed him again.
It was supposed to be just a simple kiss, but it turned into more in a hurry. I couldn’t help myself. At last, Brian had opened up to me. It made me love him even more.
“I love you, too,” Brian said between kisses. He grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me forward as he backpedaled toward his bedroom. “I love you. Stay the night?”
“Anything you want, baby,” I answered him, heat spilling through me. It wasn’t just lust either. We worked together. I could tell that Brian would be open to all the things I wanted from a relationship. I would be able to give him all the things he needed to feel safe and solid.
We crossed into his bedroom, and things turned even more heated.
I reached for the hem of Brian’s t-shirt and peeled it up over his head, tossing it aside.
It felt like casting aside the painful part of his past, the part I would make sure he never had to worry about again.
He worked through the fastenings of my jeans as I got rid of my own shirt.
Between the two of us, we managed to shed all our clothes as we crossed the small space to his bed, then flopped into it.
“I want to give you everything,” Brian panted as he ran his hands over my chest and sides. “I want to be yours.”
“You are, sweetheart,” I told him. “You so are.”
I dipped down to kiss him again, drawing a beautiful moan from him as I reached a hand between the two of us to stroke his cock. It felt so good to be skin to skin with him, to taste him and feel the stress and fear melt away as we gave each other nothing but pleasure.
I wanted to give him a lot more than what I felt capable of in the moment.
I wanted to spend long, lazy hours discovering his body, how he liked to be touched, and what made him come.
I wanted to suck him and tease him to the point of madness over and over until he couldn’t remember his own name.
I wanted to be inside him, claiming him as my own and giving him the best prostate orgasms he’d ever had.
For the time being, I settled on thrusting against him, then wrapping my hand around both our dicks as we rutted together.
It wasn’t fancy, but the communion between our souls and the eye contact we made as pleasure consumed us was far more important than the mechanics.
I loved Brian, he was mine, and I would do whatever I could to make the rest of his life as wildly happy as possible.
With that promise in my mind and in my heart, we rocked together with enough intensity to bring us both to orgasm.
I spilled first, despite trying to hold off and make sure he was taken care of, but Brian was less than a minute behind me.
We made a fantastic, sticky mess all over each other, then laughed as we kissed and came down from the high of the moment.
In the end, all I wanted was to spoon my boyfriend, arms and one leg clasped tightly around him, and to hold him as we both drifted off to sleep. Whatever came next for us, I would make sure Brian was protected and that everything would be alright.