Chapter 25 Isla #2
She launches herself at me, arms wrapping around my neck, fingers clawing at my back. Isla’s head lands on my shoulder, and her crying resumes. “I fucked up. I fucked up so badly.”
“It’s okay.” I run my hands over her back in slow, soothing motions. “It’s okay.”
“I panicked, and I hurt him.” She sucks in a deep breath, but her words still come out shaky. “I hurt him.”
“Spencer’s fine. I saw him. He’s fine.”
Isla shakes her head, her ponytail swaying with the movement. “He’s never going to skate with me again. And I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to skate with me, either. It’s all ruined.” She pushes out of my arms and hops up onto her feet. “I need to get out of here. I can’t be here anymore.”
She jogs down the steps and enters the lobby of the venue, uncaring that people witness her disheveled appearance.
I’ve never seen her unravel like this. That first night we met, she was upset but I could console her.
All I can do now is follow her through the lobby of the building to the outdoors, where rain pours down on us.
“Isla,” I call, but she doesn’t slow down. I don’t know if she knows where she’s going.
She stops walking, turning to me. “You don’t need to follow me, Wes. I’m fine.”
“I’m not leaving you alone, Red. Not when you’re like this.”
“Like what? A disappointing, unhinged mess?” She throws her hands into the air, water flying off her.
“I thought I could be better, that I could be worthy of being Spencer’s partner.
I thought I had a shot at real success because he saw potential in me.
And how do I repay him? I bust open his face during our first performance. I embarrass him.”
“His skate blade gave out. That’s not your fault.”
She runs her hands over her face, clearing rain from her eyes. “But I tensed. I pushed away from him. I didn’t trust that he had me. That’s my instinct, to assume I’ll be screwed over even when I should know that I won’t be. That’s who I am. You both deserve better.”
I’m shocked by her confession, that she could think so little of herself when she’s the most extraordinary woman I’ve known.
“I’m not going to speak for my brother, even though I know that giving up is the only way you could disappoint him.” I take a step toward her. “But for me…Isla, I’m so fucking proud of you. I thought that when I was watching you defy gravity, and I think that now.”
She shakes her head, gaze dropping to the ground. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” I assure her, tipping her chin up to meet my stare, needing her to see my sincerity. “You fought to get to this level, and you fought to stay, despite shitty partners and injuries and doubts. That’s how I know you’ll pick yourself up again.”
A tear falls down her cheek, and I wipe it away with my thumb.
“I’m lucky you give me the time of day,” I tell her, desperate to soothe her inner turmoil.
“Then, why haven’t I heard from you all week?” Isla crosses her arms over her chest. “You didn’t tell me you were out of town. I had to hear it from your brother.”
“I didn’t think…” I scratch my jaw. “I’m not used to anyone wondering where I am. I didn’t think you’d notice, not with all your competition prep.”
She points a finger at me. “That’s fucking bullshit. You knew I was wondering why you weren’t in the gym. You knew I wanted to see you.”
“So you could fuck me.”
She recoils. “Oh, okay. I’m sorry that’s such a chore for you. Forget I said anything.”
She goes to turn, and I grab her hand to keep her in place. It’s time to put it all on the line for her. Isla’s gaze falls to our joined hands before bouncing to my face.
“You are the best part of my day, Isla. I walk past the rink ten times a day to glimpse you. Seeing you is what I look forward to most in my life, and that’s terrifying when you made it clear this is casual.”
“You told me to use you.”
“I know.” I run a hand roughly through my hair. “I know I did. I thought it was all you’d give me. I convinced myself that this arrangement could be enough for me. But, baby, I can’t have only part of you. It hurts too fucking much.”
Isla draws a shuddering breath. “You don’t want all of me. You might think you do, but—”
“I want you, Isla. And not only in my bed. I want you in my kitchen cooking dinner beside me. I want you in the stands watching my hockey games and in my rink teaching skating lessons. I want you by my side, period. You’re the person I want to argue with.
The person who I want to tell me to pull my head out of my ass when I’m being too stubborn for my own good. ”
Tears stream down Isla’s face and mix with the rain. She does nothing to clear it, her entire attention on me.
“You challenge me,” I continue, “and I don’t just mean when we’re bickering about whatever today’s topic is.
You make me think about how I’m running my business, my relationships with my family, and what I want for the rest of my life.
Your existence challenges me to be a better man, one who deserves you.
Everything I thought I knew about myself and my life has been turned on its head by you.
It scares the shit out of me, but I’ve never felt more alive.
I didn’t know my heart could feel this way. ”
“What way?” Isla whispers, the words so soft they’re almost lost on the rain.
“Full, with love…for you. When I think of my future, that's what I see. You and me, Red.”
“What if Spencer doesn’t want to partner with me anymore?” she asks.
“Nothing will change how I feel about you, Isla. Nothing.”
She takes a tentative step forward. “I’m scared,” she admits through another shaky breath.
“I love you so fucking much, Wes, and I want everything you do. I see what our life could be like so clearly. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, to have a partner like you, a family like yours, and I’m so terrified that I’ll screw it up. That if I reach for it, I’ll lose it.”
“That’s how I’ve felt this entire summer—on borrowed time with you. Trust me, I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Isla.”
A watery laugh escapes her. She leaps into my arms, and I catch her, securing her against the side of the building as she kisses me.
Rain continues to pour down on us, soaking us to the bone, but there’s nowhere else in the universe that I’d rather be than right here, holding this unforgettable woman in my arms.
“I missed you.” She presses a kiss to my neck. She curls around me tighter, a contented sigh escaping her lips. “Come to my room with me?”
“Like you have to ask.” I walk us toward the parking deck with Isla still secured against me in my favorite position.
“You don’t have to carry me.”
“Let me take care of you, Covington.”
She doesn’t speak. She only wraps herself tighter around me. I squeeze back, needing the proof that this moment is real, and that I’m heading home with the woman of my dreams.
Tonight, and every night for the rest of my life.