CHAPTER 27 Cassie Fields
This Is All Sorts of Inappropriate
I walk over to Luca, who’s still engrossed in whatever he’s watching on his tablet.
“Do you want to swim?” I ask.
He nods, and I grab his swimsuit and tell him where to go change once Lily is out.
“Would you mind grabbing my swim trunks for me?” Tanner asks me, and he wrinkles his nose as if he feels bad asking. But the truth is, I don’t really want him climbing stairs, and I assume his swim trunks are upstairs.
“Of course. Where are they?”
“Up in my bedroom,” he says. “My room is the primary, so go up the stairs and all the way down the hall. The door’s open. Top left drawer of my dresser. Feel free to change while you’re up there. You know, and feel free to snoop. I don’t have anything to hide.”
I laugh, and I grab my one piece and head upstairs.
I find his room, and I glance around for a few seconds. His furniture is black, and his bedding is white. I spot his favorite color all around the room here, from the throw blanket over an armchair in the corner to the bits of color in photographs on the walls.
It’s minimalist and regal, but it also screams of him. There are a few framed photographs on the walls, and they’re all images of wild animals, landscapes, or football—no people. It’s an interesting insight into the man I’m spending so much time with.
I shut the door and grab his swimsuit out of the top left drawer, and I realize I’m about to see Tanner Banks in just swim trunks.
My legs squeeze together as I remember his abs . God, he’s gorgeous.
I pull off my clothes and realize I’m standing naked in Tanner Banks’s bedroom, and I get a sense like I want this to happen again.
Pull it together, Fields . He’s a patient. I can’t get involved.
Except…
We have been involved. This is different.
I pull my swimsuit on, and I try to ignore the pulsing ache between my legs.
This is all sorts of inappropriate.
Not only is he my patient, but my kids are here—though, to be fair, back when I was married, we had sex when the kids were home…you know, after they were fast asleep for the night.
Still, I’m fully aware that I need to stay away. I know I can’t get involved with him no matter how much I want to.
But knowing what’s right and doing what’s right are two completely different things.
I head downstairs with his swim trunks in hand and a T-shirt pulled over my swimsuit, and I toss him his trunks when I get downstairs.
His eyes drift along my legs and to my chest before they move to my face again, and I swear, I see lust in his eyes .
His tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, and I feel all hot and achy with the way he’s looking at me.
Damn. I need to get into that pool. Stat.
It can’t possibly be true, can it? Does he want me the same way I’m fighting against wanting him?
“Towels?” I ask.
He stands, and he nods past the kitchen. “Miller left some in the laundry room.”
I head that way and grab four towels from the stack, and both kids are waiting in the kitchen when I emerge. Tanner walks into the kitchen a moment later in his swim trunks, and my mouth waters.
Good Lord.
Tanner without a shirt on is even hotter than I remembered. Even though he hasn’t been working out, the muscles in his abdomen haven’t suffered because of it. Simply put, he’s absolutely beautiful.
“Ready?” he asks, and his voice is low and sexy.
I clear my throat and nod. “Oh, wait. I brought Lily’s wings. Let me just grab them from the car.”
“Want me to get started spraying them with sunscreen?” he asks.
“That would be incredible,” I say, and I grab the bottle out of my bag and hand it over to him. Our fingers brush, and it’s the most clichéd cliché, but my God, does a spark of electricity pulse between us.
I head out to the car and grab Lily’s puddle jumper. It’s better to have her swim without it, but I want her to have fun in the water, not be nervous in it.
I find them outside. Luca is waiting by the edge of the pool.
And Lily is holding Tanner’s hand.
She’s standing there in her swimsuit, staring at the water as she holds his hand .
I melt. I freaking melt. They are adorable together, and I can’t help but wish that he was their father instead of Alex.
I can’t help but wish this was a regular Sunday afternoon as a family.
Tanner has known my kids all of a few hours, and somehow he just fits . It’s in this strange way that I never expected, and it tugs at my heart.
“Can I get in now?” Luca begs, pulling my attention from the big football star holding my five-year-old’s hand, and I chuckle.
“Go for it,” I say, and he does a forward flip into the water.
“You ready to get in, Lily?” Tanner asks her.
“Will you hold my hand?” she asks him.
“Only if you hold mine,” he says, and together, they walk down the steps into the water…without Lily’s puddle jumper.
He’s amazing with her. Patient and kind, even when Luca yells, “Tanner, watch this!” a hundred million times. He’s encouraging my boy, and he’s supporting my girl. He helps coach Luca with the proper way to dive off his diving board, and he helps Lily swim from one side of his pool to another…unassisted.
Normally, Lily only wants Mama in the water. Today, however, she only wants Tanner.
And so does Luca.
And you know what? So does Mama, just in a totally different and decidedly inappropriate way.
The more I watch him with my kids, the more attractive he becomes. He isn’t just hot because of what he has on the outside, though believe me, it’s nice to look at.
But it’s this person who emerges when he’s spending time with my kids that’s making me feel these sudden, hot urges to have another night with him. It’s the way he catches my eye and grins at me when Luca does a front flip off the diving board. It’s the way he talks Lily through her fears. It’s the way he’s everything to both of my kids when I feel like I fail at that on a daily basis.
I can control myself, though. I have to. My entire career could be at stake here, and I refuse to lose it because of some guy.
But what if he’s more than just some guy ?
What if we started something that night in Vegas, and now we’re a month out from it and we’re getting to know each other on an entirely different level?
We’re not dating, but we are seeing each other every day, and I am feeling feelings for him when I know I shouldn’t.
It’s okay. I can quit it. I can quit the quarterback.
Lily puts her head under the water and powers through across the pool.
It’s the first time she’s ever done that.
Tanner cheers for her when she comes up on the other side. She’s grinning, Luca’s celebrating her, and I’m practically crying.
When lunchtime rolls around, he says he’ll grill hot dogs for the kids and chicken burgers for the two of us. I tell the kids to head inside and put their clothes back on for lunch, and that leaves the two of us out on the patio alone for a moment.
“Thank you for being so kind to my children,” I say softly. I’m standing beside the patio doors before I head in, and he moves slowly over toward me.
He’s close enough that I can reach out and touch those perfect, steel-cut abs, but I force myself not to.
“They’re great kids,” he says softly. He leans in a little closer to me, and he nuzzles my neck a little. I lean my head back to give him more space, and I force my hands down to my sides even though my instinct is to hold onto his upper arms to hold myself up. “And their mom is hot as fuck,” he murmurs close to my ear, and then his lips move to brush mine .
It’s just the softest whisper of a kiss, and I want more. I need more. My instincts kick in, and I can’t force my arms down any longer. I grab hold of his upper arms, and I open my mouth to his. His tongue swirls around mine as we kiss passionately, urgently, out here on his patio. He boxes me in, his hips pinning me to my place as he moves his body closer to mine so we’re chest to chest, and I feel his erection against my hip.
My God, I want this. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt such a strong pulse of need for a man before. I thrust my hips toward him, and he groans.
We did this once before, and it’s muscle memory at work as he kisses me. My body awakens to his touch, to his scent, to him as I feel myself coming alive in a way that I’ve only felt one other time, and that was in a hotel room with him.
And then we both hear a thump on the slider door beside me. We’re out of view from whoever’s on the other side, but someone is there, one of my kids, and he jumps back a little guiltily. He winces as he turns back toward the grill, and I’m not sure if he’s wincing from pain in his knee or the pain of having to stop kissing me. Maybe both.
As it turns out, I’m not quite sure I’m going to be able to quit him after all.