26. Jack
26
JACK
I glance at the clock on the wall and scrub a hand over my eyes with a sigh. Today is just crawling by. The office door is open, so I can see all the way out to the wet, gray parking lot.
I only left it open because I’m here by myself. Laura got a call just after lunch from the nurse at her kid’s school. She got out the words vomiting and fever before I told her I didn’t need details and shooed her out of the office. For the afternoon, I made Patrick go down the hill to man the station by the park entrance. Both of us know damn well nobody’s showing up to hike in this weather, but he was getting on my nerves earlier, so tough shit.
It’s done nothing but rain for two days straight. All else being equal, that’s a good thing. Earlier today, I moved the big arrow on the fire warning sign installed at the park gate down into the green wedge of the semicircle —the first time it’s been that low in months.
I’m also happy it’s rain instead of snow, since I haven’t quite figured out how to make sure Bunny can make it up my long gravel driveway come winter. The nearly-bald tires he’s driving around on now will be fucking useless in snow and ice. Since Bunny’s in my head already, I give myself permission to think about a better topic than making him buy —or, what I’ve realized is more likely, buying him —a set of snow tires.
Glad I got in that crazy-hot night with him before the weather turned to shit. Not that I’d mind chasing him and taking him down in the mud… Hmm. Filing that literal and figurative filthy thought away for later.
As my mind drifts back to that scene in the backyard, my cock quickly stiffens. Since there’s nobody here, I adjust myself and palm it briefly, thinking about how I pushed Bunny that night. Just like the last time I put a collar on him and broke down his defenses, his dignity —his humanity —I was wildly curious to see how far he’d go.
“Fuck,” I murmur out loud in the quiet office.
It was such a turn-on seeing him completely surrender to the animal inside of him, feeling his urgency as he succumbed to his humiliation and humped my leg like I ordered him to, riding the pain of that shock collar to get to his orgasm. I was so close to bending him over and fucking him until his eyes rolled into the back of his head after he came like that. But I couldn’t pass up watching him as his soft pink tongue lapped up his release from the coarse denim.
Reading his body language, there were a couple of points when I really thought he might safeword. I’m happy to admit that I was wrong. I underestimated just how strong his desire to submit and be degraded really is.
And holy shit, I really liked the raw, filthy hunger I saw when he looked at me. The way his eyes locked onto my cock while he was crouched on all fours, naked and leashed. The whimper of arousal he let out while he watched me take a piss.
It was so obvious that Bunny was, at the very least, curious about that, but I hadn’t been sure what to expect when I led him to the edge of the yard and told him to relieve himself there like an animal, or when I pulled out my own cock.
His initial reluctance to yield to his desire was so fucking hot; I shift again in my desk chair, the memory of his embarrassed face sending a rush of blood into my groin. By the time he crawled over and rose to his knees, putting his hands on my thighs like he needed to steady himself, I was fighting to keep my dick from getting rock-hard. God, the look he gave me when he took my cock out of his mouth after cleaning me off with his tongue is going to be seared in my mind forever. The way those big, blue eyes of his can still somehow look innocent when he’s staring at me with such uninhibited need —and in the kinkiest, raunchiest situations — is nothing short of sorcery.
Bunny just does something to me. I want to swallow his plaintive cries straight from his pretty, trembling lips, and lick up all the tears that drip down his flushed cheeks. I want to hold his pain and his pleasure in my hand. I want him to give me that control willingly and eagerly.
But it’s not just that: I want more. I think back to Bunny’s expression right after he first laid eyes on that bookcase. When he turned towards me, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time, plus something I never felt before, all tangled up together in one giant, terrifying mess.
I find myself paying more attention when I’m around him. I’m noticing things I never did before. Like the way he sort of squints when he’s thinking about something, or the way he plays with his hair while he reads now that it’s longer. Even dumb shit like the way he walks around in his socks all the time, loses his keys at least once a week and constantly rearranges which books he has on display. It all seems somehow… cute. Just because he’s the one doing it.
I keep thinking back to Nathaniel. Was it ever like that with him? I can’t remember it being like this. Maybe it’s been so long I forgot. Or maybe this… this thing is something different. But I don’t have words for it, and even if I did, I don’t know if I’d have the courage to say them after the way I was betrayed before.