21. Blakely
Blakely
D ad is here, looking happier than ever and I’m so glad he chose to come. It’s been a few days of racing and secret meetups behind the store with Milo and Donna and I’m over the moon about how this summer truly turned out to be the best one I have ever had.
“Okay guys, I have a tattoo session so I need to leave, but you have to beat Dad and tell the tale because no one does,” I say as I stand up, ready to go.
“I’m on it,” Milo lifts another card, thinking he will win this time but I’m sure Dad has different plans.
“Call,” Dad exposes his flash, “What do you have to say now?”
“You bastard,” Donna says, her deadpan expression is freaking hilarious, and we laugh out loud.
“Told you,” I raise my voice as I leave and head to my caravan. I pet Chaos and Arrow and stride with a smile on my face and serendipity I haven’t felt in a long time.
Craning my neck to the skies, I stare at the light clouds that blanket the blue skies and distract me as I bump into someone. “Sorry. ”
“No worries,” He fondly says in his British accent. “Nice hair!”
“Thanks,” I reply with a smile and move past him.
“Are you familiar with Meadow?”
“Yeah, I know him,” I freeze at the sudden question and spin to face him, “Why?”
“He told me a bit about you.” He nods up and down with a big undefinable smile.
“And you are…?”
He looks around and whispers, “His agent.” Something akin to a motive reflects in his gray eyes.
“Oh,” I express quietly. “I didn’t say anything, I promise.”
“Oh no, it’s not about that.” He sighs like a burden is sitting right on his shoulder. “You see, he needs to focus on the competition. Keep his head in the game,” he nods repeatedly, narrowing his eyes like he’s trying to deliver a message, ensuring I get it. “Not a summer fling.”
“A summer fling…” I squint my eyes back and drag the last word.
He sent his agent to get rid of me… or is he trying to get rid of me all on his own? I don’t know if I’m appalled or unperturbed. I scratch my scalp trying to get my head around it.
Classic.
My time here is coming to an end soon and they try to quiet me before it gets too complicated.
“Please, make sure this…” he twists his hand, making circles in the air, “Doesn’t get in the way. He already told me this is nothing, just someone he met and it is not serious. Blakely Wilder, don’t make me hunt you,” he laughs but his words are not funny at all.
Just someone…
“How do you know my name?” Knowing Meadow, he doesn’t share information so easily.
“I have my ways when I want to get to the bottom of things.” He claps his hands together once. “Sounds good?” His attempts to lighten the conversations are grating on my nerves.
“Sure.” I fake a grin. “Don’t worry, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” Even if we’re outside of the city.
“Great!” he takes a step back, and glances at me one last time, “keep it between us for his sake.” He strides away.
The volcano of emotions residing within me is boiling mad right now and it is going to erupt at any given moment. I rush toward the motel parking lot which is less crowded and hide between two giant vehicles. Then, it happens.
A shuddering sob escapes from my lips and my hand moves to shut my mouth as I cross my other hand, hugging my waist. I allowed myself to fall in love with him and the messenger did the dirty work for him.
I sniffle, extracting my phone out of my pocket. I’m so mad that the words just flow like water.
Blakely
You coward!
Immediately, the three dots appear on the screen.
Meadow
What are you talking about?
Blakely
You fucked me and you didn’t have the decency to say it to my face.
Meadow
Say what?
Blakely
That I was just someone and you don’t want to continue seeing me.
That it didn’t mean anything to you.
Meadow
It did.
Blakely
I could’ve handled it. I thought you would be honest with me, after everything. That was your goal this entire summer to sleep with me and then disappear. The summer isn’t over yet. It’s only been two months and I’ve fallen into your trap like a fool.
Meadow
Don’t talk about yourself that way.
You’re smart Blakely and no one would make a fool out of YOU!
Blakely
You just did.
Meadow
I said IT DID!
Blakely
DID WHAT??
Meadow
MEANT EVERYTHING TO ME.
Blakely
I don’t believe you.
Meadow
Where are you?
Blakely
Thank your agent for me he did a hell of a job
Message not delivered!
I text my client next that I have to reschedule our appointment and shove my phone into my pocket as I hurry to go to my room.
I broke my own heart—the green-haired girl who was beautifully ravaged by the faceless rider. I should’ve known it was never meant for more than one summer.
I got to do things with him that I’ve never tried with anyone else.
Each day we spent together, talking to each other, getting into deep conversation, and fucking until our bodies collapsed made him feel like my best friend. I know it sounds so stupid because I always knew he would have to leave at some point, but, I thought I managed to penetrate that roughness that cloaks and shields him when inside he has the biggest heart of anyone I know.
I even thought about asking him out on a date after the summer is over back in Las Vegas where I live and where he has an apartment in the city. Now it feels like these past few days were a preparation to release me and send me on my way with him giving me the key back to my room, calling my dad, and avoiding me by distancing himself.
I thought he needed some space, it is a good thing but I guess I got it all wrong. So I should take a step back and walk quietly like his ex-girlfriend once said.
Soon I will have to say goodbye to this place, and I will have to say goodbye to him too.
“Blakely, wait!” Meadow’s panicked voice stops me in place as he shouts again, “Please!” The roar of his bike dies as he parks it somewhere behind me.
I slowly turn, shutting my eyes for a moment before I encounter all of the emotions that are written across his features, demanding my attention as I try to formulate a response.
We gaze at each other for a perpetual skip of my heartbeat.
The creases in his forehead are deep and pronounced when his eyebrows knit together. “What is going on?” His voice is low but his breath is irregular like he ran all the way here to catch up with me. “We were fine.”
I walk away from him. “I didn’t come here for you, I came here for me, and you were a mistake.” The anger is boiling my blood. I’m angry at myself. I gave in so fucking fast to another man that wouldn’t fight for me.
“But I wasn’t,” his voice trails behind me but I continue to walk forward. In three long strides, his shadow is next to mine, gripping my wrist, he spins me to face him. “So you’re telling me this. Me. Us. It doesn’t do anything for you?”
His body is flush against mine. His skin caresses my skin and creates goosebumps. My pulse starts racing as I manage to take small breaths. The heave of his chest causes his shoulders to tremble while he molds himself around me, fastening his arms around the small of my back. Our breaths mingle, lips almost brushing.
“Tell me,” he presses again.
He affects me, I can’t describe it. It’s something I’ve never felt before. Something I want to succumb to so badly. With a simple look, he can light up my soul, and I don’t understand it.
I hate it.
He wasn’t the plan. I was. And he just keeps ruining it.
I flick my eyes from his lips to his eyes. “Nothing.” I’m doing us both a favor as I wriggle out of his hold and walk fast to my room.
“That’s bullshit and I’m not giving up so fast.” He shouts. The anger and agitation in his tone cuts me like the sharp edge of a knife.
I wish you did.
“Don’t do that,” he runs in front of me, stopping me again, and the hurt in his eyes burns me inside.
I don’t understand us. That’s the truth. What are we?
It started with a one-night stand and turned out to be everything I ever wanted in a relationship. Everything I craved with a partner. Fun. Smiles. Jokes. Silly moments. Understanding. Deep conversations. Friendship. Safety. The bike part is a sweet bonus. Yet the love part is where it gets blurry.
I don’t expect him to love me right now but will he be able to?
Will he give us a chance ?
Does he see something else between us?
Does he want me for more than one summer?
Truthfully, his career seems more important than exploring what we can be right now as it should be and I need to embrace it.
“Don’t make us less than what we are.” The muscles in his neck stretch as he swallows hard.
“What are we?” I ask, needing to know what goes on in his head.
Silence.
I take a guess, “A summer fling?” My eyebrows pull together slightly. “Roommates?” Then they rise upward. “Riding bodies? A fucking big mistake? What is it?” I raise my voice a little as the emotions plague me.
That fucking silence is like a symphony of chainsaws in my ears.
“We don’t owe each other anything.” Those were my words but his arrow flies toward me at an incredible velocity, slashing through my flesh and cutting farther into my heart—and I’m the one who wears it around her neck while he is supposed to be the bow.
I cross my arms over my chest, “Okay.”
“Blakely…”
The acid in my stomach whisks when I hear him using my full name. “Just go, Meadow.”
I take a few steps forward, but then he extends his arm to hold my hand gently, cupping my cheek with the other. Urging me to look at him, I slant my head toward him, catching the determination in his eyes that I saw every day that I spent in this place.
“Two fighters who don’t want to fight unless they fight each other. Two hearts that are sick and tired of hurting. Two kinky people who can’t get enough of each other. How’s that?”
The flakes of yellow in his irises hypnotize me as the late sun flares hit his green eyes. I stand still but his words twist my stomach and carve their way deep into my bones at the same time.
Pulling my face closer to him, he brushes our lips. “I will fight for us but you have to fight me back.” Forehead against forehead. “Fight me.”
Our mouths crash and our kiss turns rougher. We suck each other’s lips, tasting cigarettes and bitter-sweet memories that we thoroughly erase with every roll of our tongues.
This is the fork in the road, I don’t know which path to take. My body craves his merciless touch that heals me every moment we spend together. And my mind is telling me to forget about him and switch lanes so he can move on. But my heart… hurts, knowing I can lose him.
“Fight for me,” he adds, the words are loaded and equally painful.
Our lips search the other, craving that taste again, that warmth and comfort. My body wobbles as I squeeze his palm.
“I’ll always protect you from unwanted company. I’ll always hold your hand when we’re in public and behind closed doors.” He kisses me again with so much passion it leaves me breathless but hungry for more. “I’d kiss you, hug you, and always find a way to touch you because I want to feel you closer. And every day you will know how much you mean to me. I’d find the time and place. All you have to do is trust me. I’ll be that man for you.”
Removing my lips from his makes my chest ache but it’s time. “We’re just going to hurt each other,” I whisper against his mouth. It’s already painful, if this keeps going it’ll be ten times more.
It’s the same experience I had with my ex—I am a secret yet Meadow is also a secret. If the word gets out, they will blame me. His agent will blame me. He is determined to keep Meadow concentrated on what is important to his career, and I don’t want him to suffer the consequences.