Rex #2
I thought about the man I’d believed Dad to be, and I wondered out loud, "Did he know his girlfriend was pregnant?"
"No. He found out when Kendra gave him a birth certificate. I think she knew no good would come of that news being brought into the light while his Old Lady was around. At least, I think so. Never spoken to her about it."
"He believed her?"
"I think Kendra’s mom was a good woman."
He was right. More to myself, I mumbled, "Christ, irony."
"Yeah. She bred a viper."
"Probably Dad’s intervention. His DNA probably made her a cunt."
When he snorted, I rolled upward, resting my arms on my knees to stare over at his house. "Dad’s kid or not, she deserved to be kicked out of the club for what she did to Keira."
"I know she did."
"Then why didn’t you let me? Why, when Link raised the subject, did you come to me and tell me not to?"
"I was looking out for future Rex. I knew when you found out, it would mess with your head if you’d kicked her out."
"Maybe," I said slowly.
Did I really give more of a fuck about some bitch who just happened to share blood with me over the family I’d been raised with?
No.
"Being my half-sister don’t give her a free pass to be a cruel bitch, Storm."
"You can say that now," he rumbled. "But you might not have done before."
Was he right?
Why did I feel like there was a parallel here with Wynter and her family?
"Why didn’t you just fucking tell me?"
"Because Bear asked me not to."
Anger rippled through me. "Do you know what I don’t understand about you?"
"What?"
"How someone so fucking honorable can get himself into so much shit with his wife."
"I wish I had an answer to that."
"Me too," I snapped. "Rachel read me Dad’s will. It wasn’t official because he had a lot of bequests but…" I blew out a breath to try to calm myself down. "He left you something."
"What?"
"Don’t know. Rachel does, but she wouldn’t say."
"We’ve been waiting on the funeral for you."
I rocked my head. "Had to get away."
I could feel his disapproval as he muttered, "Couldn’t have left a message?"
"Checked in with Rachel from time to time." Understatement.
"She never said anything."
I scraped a hand over my jaw. "Talked to her as the club’s lawyer." Lies, but I didn’t want to discuss us just yet.
"Where you been?"
"Does it matter?"
"You’re lucky I didn’t beat your ass."
"Instead, we’re gonna freeze it off, huh?"
"Yeah," he retorted as he joined me in sitting up and staring over at his house.
His phone buzzed, and I watched as he pulled it out of his pocket to check the notification.
Jump: Want me to stop this before it starts?
My brows rose at the sight of the picture on his screen. Keira was kissing some guy.
"You still having her followed?" Was I altogether surprised about that? Nope.
"What the fuck do you think? ‘Course I am."
"Poor goddamn Cyan," I mumbled. "Let me guess, you got her being tailed as well.
"Where the fuck did you go wrong, Storm? Jesus. It’s not like you even ‘see’ other women. Just… Please tell me you weren’t like Dad. Please tell me you used a condom."
"Of course. I always use a condom."
Something in his tone had me frowning at him. "Even with Keira?"
"Especially with Keira."
"Huh." I waited a beat. "Why?"
"Because I don’t want to risk her getting pregnant again."
Though sympathy filled me, I remarked, "She ain’t gonna die in childbirth, Storm."
"How do you know that?" he rumbled. "The U.S. maternal mortality rate is the worst of any developed nation."
"You always wanted a big family," I pointed out.
"Want her alive more."
"What if she’d wanted another kid?"
"She did. We argued about it. A lot."
"You won, obviously."
"She froze me out for six months," he said wryly. "That was painful."
"Did you cheat on her then?"
"No. Didn’t need to get high for that one."
"I wish I got what went down in your brain."
"Me too." He hesitated a second then admitted, "What you feel for Rachel… is it love?"
I found it more difficult than I should to admit, "Yeah." Not because it was hard to say, hard to share, but because this feeling inside of me was deeper than love.
Calling it that was diminishing its power.
But what word existed to encompass the great welter of feelings I had for my future First Lady?
"What I feel for Keira borders on an obsession. I know it’s crazy, but that’s how it is. I spent half her pregnancy terrified I’d resent the hell out of Cyan. I never wanted to share Keira. Ever. A second kid…" His words drifted off for a while. "I don’t know how I’d cope."
"Your mom did a real number on you, Storm." I shook my head, resenting his mother more than I resented Kinnock at that moment. Which was really saying fucking something. "Not sure why that surprises me, but it’s true. Love don’t work that way. It’s generous; it isn’t selfish."
"If you say so," he rasped.
"I’ve seen how you are with Cyan, man. Jesus, you’re one of the best dads I’ve ever known."
His shoulders hunched. "Thanks."
"Believe me or don’t, it’s the truth. You should have more kids. You got too much love in you; that’s your problem. Anyway, I ain’t gonna convince you so what are you going to do about that guy?"
"Nothing."
His attention shifted onto the screen, and I could see his despair rattling around with his anger.
Still, he stunned me by typing:
Storm: Leave it. Just make sure if things get deeper, and she tries to stop it, that you’re there to help out.
Jump: Seriously?
"Seriously?" I sputtered.
The moron cut me a look. "She deserves to find happiness."
Storm: Seriously. Just make sure she gets out safe. She won’t spend the night.
Jump: Gotcha. Your funeral.
"Your honor code is messed up," I snarled, furious on his and Keira’s behalf at the dumbfuck move he was making.
"We know that already," he said tightly.
"Did you guys talk about dating?"
"I told her I was proud she dumped my ass, and she told me that we’d never be together." He shot me a look. "Which part of that was supposed to give me hope?"
I pursed my lips. "What if she’s supposed to find happiness with you?"
"She’ll never find that with me. I’m toxic for her. I’m just lucky she’s letting me stay here for the time being."
Exasperation filled me. "Martyrs don’t get the girl."
"I want what’s best for her."
"Dipshit," I grumbled. "Never understood why you treat her the way you do."
He frowned. "What the hell’s that supposed to mean?"
"It means you treat her like she’s a kid.
” We’d argued about this so many times throughout their marriage that I was starting to feel like a broken goddamn record.
“I told you to keep it traditional, not fucking paternal. Bet you ain’t never told her dick about her old man and the games he’s pulled over the years, have you? "
"I had it under control."
"I’m sure," was my dry retort. "Just so you know, I’ll only let you pull this martyr shit for so long before I snap. Even if you ain’t high, I’m not above hurling you in the Fridge to make you drag your head out of your ass." Before he could reply, I demanded, "Anyway, how’s Cyan doing?"
"Better now I’m here."
"Maybe Keira will take you back because of her?"
"She shouldn’t."
I growled and punched him in the shoulder, much as he’d done to me. "Maybe she doesn’t want you to just passively accept her fucking other guys, Storm. Maybe she wants you to grovel, huh? Maybe she wants you to get in her face and tell her that she’s yours and that you’re hers?"
"I’m not good for her."
"So? Is Nyx good for Giulia?" was my rejoinder. "The fucker needs to kill people to find inner peace, Storm. Jesus. How he’s gone clean for so fucking long I don’t know. He’s gonna blow at some point. That sound healthy?"
Not that Nyx was still ‘clean.’ Not when he’d just murdered a rapist, but I’d promised to hold my tongue about that.
Nyx didn’t need that shit getting out. Not even to Storm.
When he just stared at me, I grunted, "Sometimes shit doesn’t have to be healthy to be right.” At his silence, I grumbled, “I need coffee."
"How long you been riding?"
"Eighteen hours."
"Jesus. What the hell were you doing down on the West Coast?"
"It doesn’t matter.” I couldn’t deal with telling him about Wynter yet. “How are things going here?"
"Better. We bought a diner, a local motel, and a garage. We’re looking into buying a factory as well. They fabricate auto parts."
I arched a brow. "You’re working fast."
"Most of the plan to legitimize the Sinners in West Orange was my idea," he said dryly. "Just repeating what we did. Why fix what ain’t broken?"
"The brothers accepting you?"
"Yeah. Few rumbles from a guy who’s pissed I didn’t make him VP—"
"He a problem?"
"No. Don’t think so."
"What about the Sinners we ran off? Any issues there?"
"No. It’s a good chapter. There were just a few bad eggs. It’s very family-oriented."
My brows rose. "Really?"
"Yeah. All of my council are family men. I’d say nearly eighty percent of the remaining brothers have kids and Old Ladies."
"Jesus. So, the Ohio Chapter is like the Sinners’ version of The Waltons?"
He smirked at that. "Yeah, you keep on thinking that, John Boy."
I shoved him in the arm then fell quiet as the cold sank even further into our bones.
"Storm?" I asked after a few minutes.
"Yeah?"
"Dad… I—"
"I miss him too."
I cleared my throat, but it didn’t do much for my voice as I choked out, "He woke up before he died."
"Seriously? What did he say?"
For all that I was furious with him, tears burned my eyes as I rasped, "He asked me to help him get to Mom."
He knew what I was saying because he muttered, "Don’t tell anyone else."
"I won’t."
He grabbed my shoulder and whispered, "He was waiting to be with her."
"I know."
Like two jackasses, we sat in the dark, on the frozen ground, hunched over, both of us trying not to cry as we mourned the man who’d been our father.
As we mourned the mom we’d lost too young.
And prayed that, if there really was a God, he delivered Bear into Rene’s arms.
Even if I was pissed at my dad, even if Storm’s revelations gave me some answers I didn’t like, that was all I could ever really hope for—that they truly were together again.