Rachel #2
Aware my brother was trying to lead me, I waited for him to speak, not eager to fill a silence that I wasn’t sure how to maneuver around anyway.
“I just wanted to know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
My brow puckered. “For a speeding ticket?”
“Well, you don’t get arrested for those usually,” he drawled. “I assumed, you know what with you being a lawyer, you’d have figured that out by now?”
“Since when were you such a jackass?”
He grinned. “I picked it up from my big sis.”
“He told you he got arrested?”
“Shouldn’t you know? Seeing as you’re the club lawyer?”
“You sure you want to be a soldier and not an attorney?” His cheeks flushed. “What? Didn’t you think I’d figured that out?”
He grunted. “Don’t want to talk about it.”
“Tough. When were you going to tell me? The day you enlisted?” I wafted a hand at him as I leaned back in my chair, preferring it now that he was in the hot seat and not me. “Did you think I didn’t notice you pumping up?”
Another grunt. “It’s important to me, Rach.”
“It was important to Axel,” I said carefully. “That’s not the same thing.”
“He’d have wanted me to do this.”
“With the uncertainty in the geopolitical sphere, I’m not sure if he’d have the same opinion now as he did back then.”
“It’d matter to him. You know he wished he’d gone into the Forces.”
“And I’m sure Mom would have liked me to walk in her footsteps and become a fucking stripper, Rain. That doesn’t mean I went to an audition at the local titty bar.”
His eyes flared with temper. “Don’t talk about her like that!”
My mouth tightened. “You didn’t know her. I did.”
“She wasn’t a stripper.”
“No, strippers have 401Ks and are studying in college. Mom just sucked dick to put a roof over my head. What they want for us, isn’t what we have to do.
“If you want to be a soldier, go and be a fucking soldier. That’s fine with me. You go and get your ass blown up if it’s what you want to do. But I don’t think it is. I think you’re doing it out of some messed up ideal because your dad gave you war stories about your grandfather.”
“This is why I didn’t want to talk about it with you, dammit. I knew that’s what you’d say. You think I don’t want to serve my country?”
“There are ways and means of serving it,” I sniped back. “With your brains, you’re too fucking smart to just enlist. Get your ass to West Point. Become an officer—”
“There’s nothing wrong with going in from the ground up, but that’s why I wanted to be an Eagle Scout. I’ll start at a higher rank and pay grade.”
“Look, anyone who dedicates their lives to that is a fucking hero, but you won’t be going in as a fucking lieutenant, Rain. Eagle Scout or not. And not everyone is general material like you.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “I’m not general material.”
“Your report card says otherwise. But, like I said, if that’s what you want to do, then good for you, Rain. As for Harlow, I’m not sure why you’re interested. Have you spoken more than ten words to the man?”
“He’s been staying with us, Rachel.” He shook his head. “Of course I speak to him.”
“Enough to become friendly?”
“Yeah.”
“Why are you worried?”
“Because you don’t get arrested for a speeding ticket,” he snapped. “Aren’t you fucking listening?”
“He’s a client. I don’t discuss a client’s personal legal status with family.”
"Is this because of the army thing?”
“No,” I groused. “It’s because of attorney-client privilege.” Dissatisfied with our conversation, I told him, “Harlow’s a grown man. You don’t have to worry about him.”
“Like you don’t worry about Rex and Nyx and the rest?”
“That’s different. I was raised with them. They’re…” I inhaled. “…family.”
He arched a brow at that. “Are they?”
“Yes. They are,” I said firmly. “Speaking of which, our family is going to start growing.” At his frown, I explained, “I’m pregnant.”
That had him blinking at me. “What? How? Immaculate conception?”
Feeling my cheeks tinge pink, I grated out, “The regular way.”
“Who’s the dad? Man, Rex is gonna be angry. You know he pisses on you like you’re a fire hydrant—”
I scowled. “He does not.”
He snorted. “Yeah, he does. Any dude looks at you, he’s practically growling. Jesus, who’s the unfortunate sperm donor?”
“I know we agreed that you’re a pain in the ass but I think we can throw in ‘disrespectful’ pain in the ass too. They won’t like that in the military,” I crowed. “No talking back, no sniping, not without having to peel ten goddamn tons of potatoes as a punishment.”
“That was in Granddad’s time.”
“I’m sure there are plenty other miserable tasks out there. Like cleaning up the shower stalls with a toothbrush.” I smirked at him, pleased when he shuffled on his heels. Rain didn’t like the idea of that. Ha. “Rex is the father, Rain.”
“I repeat, by immaculate conception? I mean, he’s been away for months.”
“He’s been away since Christmas Day,” I retorted. “And I’m about to enter my second trimester—”
His eyes bugged. “You’ve been pregnant all that time and didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t find out until recently. I just thought I was sick.” I raised a hand and gnawed on a corner of my nail. The gel didn’t budge, but God, I wished it would. “I’m not. So there’s that.”
Rain blinked at me then staggered over to the chair in front of my desk. Hunkering down, he muttered, “How are you feeling?”
“I’m not in the best shape. I don’t eat enough—”
“Didn’t need a doctor to tell you that. I could have told you,” he pshawed.
“Jackass,” I grumbled. “Underweight, anemic, low blood pressure. I’m working on it.”
“Does Rex know?”
“About the anemia or the pregnancy?”
“The pregnancy.” The ‘duh’ went unspoken.
“He does.”
“What was his reaction?”
“He was…” I thought about the night of the gala, and a soft smile curved my lips. Sure, everything had gone to hell after, but the way he’d touched me left me in no doubt. “He’s happy.”
“Good, or I’d have had to beat the shit out of him.”
I snorted. “You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for my honor, Rain.”
“Rite of passage. Dad’s not around to do it, but I sure as fuck am. If he doesn’t treat you right, Rachel, you tell me and I’ll fix it.”
I’d have laughed, but I knew he meant it. Even if the idea of Rain pitting himself against Rex was slightly ludicrous in my mind, I didn’t prick his pride. Not when he was saying that out of love for me.
“I love you, Rain.”
“Love you too. I mean it, Rachel,” he warned with a frown.
“I know you do. Thank you. But I don’t think you need to worry.”
“You sure? Something’s kept you two dipshits apart all these years. It has to be something he did. You’re too rational—”
“It wasn’t him, Rain,” I interrupted softly then, and when he just made a scoffing sound, I shook my head. “It wasn’t. It was me.”
“Can’t be. You love him! Why would you put roadblocks between you?”
“How do you know that I love him?”
“You said it yourself, sis. I got a brain. And a pair of eyes. Anyone with both could see that. Even Lever, and let’s face it, he ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.”
“There’s no point in denying it, I suppose.”
“No. No point at all,” he drawled. Then his expression darkened. “Have you been in a relationship all this time and you just didn’t tell me?”
“No,” I grumbled. “That would be more palatable. I’ve just been focused on my career, that’s all.”
“Maybe I should have asked if you’re okay with having the baby…”
I nodded. “I am.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Positive?”
I clucked my tongue. “Positive.”
He pursed his lips. “I don’t see you going into ‘momma mode’ any time soon. It’s not like you’re the most maternal person.”
“Hey, I raised you, didn’t I?”
Rain shot me a sheepish grin. “You did. Did a fine job of it, too, if I say so myself.”
“You’d better because no one else would,” I teased, grinning back at him as he snorted. My tone grew more serious as I reasoned, “I don’t know what’s going to happen between Rex and me…”
I thought about the ring Lily had given me. Thought about the fact that Rex was insisting I wasn’t ready for his brand. Two such contrasting acts. Would I ever understand that man?
“You mean he’s not going to move in permanently?”
“He is,” I said slowly.
Although, now Wynter wasn’t coming, would that change things?
“Aren’t you supposed to be the genius here?”
I flipped him the bird. “It’s not as easy as that.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No. And maybe we’re going to be non-traditional—”
When he started laughing, I just glowered at him. When the laughter freakin’ continued, him howling like he was losing his mind, I ground out, “Rain! For God’s sake. What’s so funny?”
“You!” he said, choking on his laughter. “You?! Not traditional? Rachel, oh my God—”
Off he went again.
Starting to get pissed in earnest, I hurled an eraser at him. When he caught it, I hissed under my breath.
I’d never been good at sports, but Rain excelled at everything he’d signed up for.
Sickening—that’s what it was.
“I’m not that traditional,” I growled. “I’m thirty-five and I’m not married and I don’t have one point nine kids. I hardly ever cook—”
“I never said you were Wilma Flintstone. Rach, you live in a house in New Jersey despite the fact that most of your work is in Manhattan. You have several bedrooms that are calling out to be filled, and the backyard is made for a swing set. You work from home and your work/life balance is atrocious because you’re addicted to it.
The second you and Rex get together permanently, I totally expect you to start cooking and wearing those slippers that shine the floor while you walk across the house. ”
I squinted at him. “Do you even know me?”
He grinned. “That last part might be made up, but a brother can hope, can’t he? If you do buy those slippers, I want to take a photo. I’m putting it on IG for posterity.”
“You’re not supposed to be mean to pregnant ladies.”
“I’m a feminist,” he countered.
“So, what? You can be mean to me?”
“Exactly.”
“If you were on public transport, would you give up your seat for a pregnant woman?”
“Of course.”
“Just checking,” I groused.
He smirked, but as he looked at me, it slowly died.
“I know you and Mom didn’t get along, Rach, and…
” He sighed. “I know we don’t see eye to eye on her memory, but I know for a fact you’ll be a thousand times better than she was because you raised me and I was lucky enough to have you in my life.
Any kid who calls you ‘Mom' is damn lucky too.”
Cheeks burning and, I’d admit, my eyes watering, I murmured, “Thanks, Rain.”
“You didn’t have to come back here full time. We could have moved to Manhattan like I said. Hell, you didn’t even have to raise me. You could have shoved me in a home. Thank you for not doing that.”
I shot him a shaky smile. “You don’t have to thank me for that. It wasn’t always easy, but I don’t have a single regret.”
“It must have been rough, back in the early days, after Dad passed?” he asked gruffly.
“It was. The MC helped.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“You were too young. It was a different place back then. Rex’s mom was still alive.” I pursed my lips. “Have you ever been to a party at the clubhouse?”
“Will I get in trouble if I say yes?”
“If you weren’t eighteen, yes,” I mocked.
“Okay, then I have.”
My nose crinkled. “I knew it! Last fall?” He gave me a sheepish nod. “You swore blind you didn’t go.”
He shrugged. “Sneaked in. It’s not that hard to cross over our yard into theirs.”
“Well, back then, it wasn’t all sex on the pool table and oral in the hallway,” I grumbled. “It used to be PG-rated.”
“Is that why you don’t go there anymore?”
“Not exactly. It’s one of the reasons, I guess, but I’ve not been comfortable there for a long time.”
“Why?”
I shot him a bright smile. “I didn’t fit in before when it had more of a family atmosphere. I sure as hell don’t fit in now. I wasn’t like you, Rain. I didn’t just gel with everyone I met.
“That charm of yours is one of the reasons I’m damn sure you could be a general. Hell, you’d probably save our asses from a nuclear threat if you ever earned four stars.”
“I’m not that charming.”
“I think the fact that you somehow bounce off of a cluster of women without them hating on you or each other says it all. I’ve seen your gaggle of geese hovering around you at the country club. I didn’t think the management liked you fraternizing with the clients.”
“They don’t.” He shot me a smug smile. “Rules were made to be broken.”
“Spoken like a true soldier,” I mocked, not even laughing when his smirk morphed into a scowl.
I knew he was trying to annoy me, and it worked when he said, “Guess that means you’ll have to move onto the compound.”
I snorted. “No, I won’t be reigning over the clubhouse.”
"He’s the Prez, Rach.” He cocked a brow at me. “Being his woman means more than just popping out his kids. You do know that, right?”
I wanted to laugh off his words. His confidence. But… damn. He was right. Rex had said it himself.
Wresting control from the clubwhores and doling out chores then enforcing them, keeping the brothers in line around the kids, making sure that the clubhouse was spic and span, not letting them bully the Prospects too badly, refereeing the Old Ladies—such domestic issues, and that wasn’t me at all.
That, I realized, was why Rex wasn’t branding me.
A ring was one thing—it tied me to him. A brand another—it tied me to the club.
One, I was more than ready for.
But both?
I wasn’t so sure.