Rex
Shit was difficult that night, and it made what had happened earlier that day even fucking sweeter.
I couldn’t goddamn wait to see our baby during a sonogram. Just listening to the doctor, discussing Rach’s health, it all felt like a gift. A gift I hadn’t been allowed before; one that I was given this time.
Blessed.
That was how I fucking felt.
Like she was my blessing. Like they were.
I tried to remember that when I heard the roar of a wave of hogs sound in the distance. There was no mistaking it. At any other time, the noise would’ve made me wonder if we were about to be goddamn sieged, but tonight, it heralded the beginning of a funeral procession.
A league of bikers who rode up from all over the States to attend the funeral of the late, great Bear.
It was cold out, but I had my window open to hear it.
It was an honor, after all.
One that, before, I’d never have questioned whether my dad deserved or not.
And it was that question that was painful. That had me sitting in the dark. That had me staring at nothing, ears pricking for the sound of more incoming bikes, rather than greeting the arrivals at the compound.
I already knew the clubhouse was in chaos. Just getting people somewhere to sleep was a nightmare in itself, never mind coordinating the parking of so many hogs in such a confined area.
I knew the council and their Old Ladies were on it, knew I didn’t have to think about it, and it was a good thing because my headspace was definitely not on matters of housekeeping.
She found me sitting in her armchair in our bedroom. Her brow was furrowed, and I could tell she’d been arguing with someone. It was interesting seeing her with the other women. Her arguments weren’t like arguments with me. She didn’t get cold; she got hot.
If I didn’t feel so fucking out of it, I’d have been on her faster than poison oak.
Her eyes were lit up, her cheeks a rosy pink, and her temper was sparking as she stomped inside, huffing all the while.
She loved it.
They challenged her, riled her up.
It was almost amusing that she didn’t see that.
“Fucking Parker,” she hissed under her breath.
My lips barely curved before she turned around, saw me sitting in the armchair, and, jumping a couple inches off the ground, she yelped in surprise.
“Rex!” She clapped a hand to her chest as if she could contain her heart. “What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be greeting those noisy bastards you call brothers?”
“Just thinking.”
“It’s freezing in here,” she grumbled, stomping over to slam the window closed then stomping over to me to stare down at me. “Are you…” She sighed. “You’re not okay. What’s wrong? What can I do?”
Now that had me smiling.
I grabbed her hand and tumbled her onto the armchair. Her butt landed on my lap, but she just resettled herself on there and leaned her back against the wing of the armchair.
I could no more stop myself from placing my hand on her belly than I could stop myself from taking my next breath.
When she didn’t shove my hand away, I spread my fingers, trying to encompass as much of the bump as possible.
I could feel her gaze on me, could sense her curiosity, and despite the fact that I didn’t want to discuss where my mind was at, I preferred hers to be busy because that way, she’d let me touch her here.
“You like that I’m pregnant, don’t you?”
I’d thought she’d ask about why I was sitting here in the dark. I didn’t think she’d ask me about the baby.
“I do.”
Why lie?
“How come?”
“Wanted nothing more than a family with you since I was about sixteen. I guess I’m living the dream.”
She blinked at me. “You belong in a romance novel.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Good to know.”
“No, seriously. I’ve seen less romantic talk in romance dramas than what you give me on the regular. Guys don’t say stuff like that.”
“You complaining or celebrating?”
“Neither. Just stating a fact.” She tipped her head to the side. “I wasn’t scared to tell you I was pregnant.”
“No?”
“No. You might think that I was, but I wasn’t. I was hesitant, but not scared.”
“Because you had faith in me, or in yourself?”
She paused. “That’s a good question. I don’t think I had faith in myself. I just knew I couldn’t relive what went down with Wynter. I guess I knew that I could support a child. The mechanics of it…” She grimaced. “…less so.”
“The doctor’s appointment was difficult for you.”
“It was a nightmare.”
“You dealt with it well,” I assured her.
“Only because you kept me calm. You, well, it was better with you there. Most things are,” she muttered under her breath.
The kid in me who had been rejected by her a long time ago preened at that.
But she didn’t give me much opportunity to preen.
“I always have faith in you. I know you won’t necessarily do the right thing, at least, what I consider to be the right thing, but you have your own honor code.
“I knew you’d support me and our child—I don’t just mean financially. You know I don’t need your money.”
“I know what you meant,” I said gruffly, my fingers spreading wide again. “I’m glad you didn’t think I’d be a piece of shit who’d fail in my responsibilities.”
She snorted. “You’re the most responsible man I know. Which is saying something.”
“Considering I lead a bunch of outlaws?”
“Who are driving me crazy by riding their hogs toward our hill? Yes.”
Smirking at her annoyance with the noise, I settled my head back against the armchair and murmured, “I love you. You know that, don’t you?”
She sniffed. “Of course I know that. I love you too.”
I liked how matter-of-fact she was about that.
It made it more cemented somehow. She wasn’t breathless with joy; she was resolute.
That was our love.
Solid.
Unending.
“You know I’ll never do you wrong like Dad did Mom, don’t you? Even if…” I swallowed, pulsed my fingers against her belly. “Even if the unthinkable happened. I waited decades, baby girl. Ain’t no one or nothing that’s gonna beat what we have together—”
Her hand came up to cup my chin, and her thumb swiped over my mouth, putting a halt to my words.
“You don’t have to say that. You’re not your father, and I’m not your mother. They’re not better or worse than us. We’re not weaker or stronger than them. They are not us.”
My jaw clenched. “It’s hard to think about tomorrow, you know? Hard to think about what’ll happen to honor him and I don’t think he deserves it—”
“Bear was many things, but he never claimed to be a paragon of virtue. Your mother clearly forgave him, King,” she said sternly, and I knew the use of my real name was a reprimand. “She wouldn’t have let him back in the damn house if she didn’t.
“Bear didn’t find out about Kendra until after Rene died, but that doesn’t mean Rene had no inclination that her man was cheating—women always know. Even if they wished they didn’t. Men aren’t smart. You do stupid things and are surprised when you get found out.
“So Bear didn’t have to tell you in his letter for me to know that he was the kind of man who’d have apologized to her. Who’d have worked hard for a second chance. That’s why they had many happy years together until life tore them apart.
“You know, cheating is the end for a lot of couples, but it doesn’t always have to be. It can trigger a period of change. Can kickstart a rebirth. If love is there, it can always grow again. If it wasn’t there in the first place, then there was nothing to lose—”
“What about Storm and Keira? What do you think about them?”
“You told me Storm was raped.”
“He was, but Keira thinks he cheated.”
Her brow furrowed. “Still?”
I shrugged. “Storm thinks he cheated. Why would he have told her otherwise?”
“You know, the way our society views consent is very disturbing,” she mumbled grimly. “That he doesn’t know…” She blew out a breath. “Do you want me to talk with Keira? Set her straight? She’ll be coming for the service, won’t she?”
“I guess.”
“You don’t know?”
“Storm tried to talk about it but I haven’t been in the right headspace. But I don’t think you should. It’s a conversation for them to have, for her to understand that he was raped. But, in her position, what would you do?”
“I’m not in her position.”
“I’m curious.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Just am.”
“Storm loves her. Anyone with eyes can see that. She loves him too. Their situation isn’t simple. He’s a recovering addict, for God’s sake. It’s easy to understand why she’d be hesitant to forgive him.”
“Would you forgive him?”
She shot me a look that cut through the bullshit, that told me she understood what I was doing and she wasn’t going to fall for it. “You’re not Storm. Neither are you Bear. This won’t make you understand why your mom took him back.”
“I don’t think I’d want you to take me back. I wouldn’t deserve—”
“King,” she snapped, “shut up. You love me. You would kill for me. You would die for me. You would do anything to protect me. You would steal for me and beg for me—you are your father’s son in that.
“Wouldn’t I be the dumbass if, knowing your feelings are so powerful for me, I didn’t recognize that something had broken down in our relationship to the point where you sought someone else out? I’m not excusing cheaters. I’m just saying not every relationship is the same.
“He fucked up. Your mom shut him out. That doesn’t make it right what he did.
Doesn’t make what she did wrong. They fell apart but came back together.
That’s something to celebrate. There’s joy to be found in that, not shame.
He earned her forgiveness; there’s no way she would have been as happy with him as she was if he hadn’t.
“Look at the bitterness that’s been sown between Keira and Storm—there was none of that with your mom and dad, was there?”
I licked my lips but had to concede, “No.”