STORM
“You fuckers know how to throw a welcome back party.”
“Technically, it was a wake. Had nothing to do with you.”
I smacked Nyx in the side before I hauled an arm over his shoulder and dragged him into me. “Last time he lost it like that was—”
We shared a look.
“Yeah.”
“Think she knows?”
“Maybe.” Nyx shrugged. “You saw how Rach went after him. Not exactly his finest moment. She still ran toward him, not away.”
“I thought he was inspired.”
I grunted at Sin. “You fucking would. Sick fuck.”
Sin grinned at me. “Making him eat the dog shit was just fucking epic.”
“You taking pointers?” Link queried. “Because that’s a whole pile of messed up, Sin. If you start doing that, so help me God, I’m gonna get holy water and drown you in it.”
I had to grin. “I heard you gagging. For someone who eats so much ass, you’d think you’d be used to the smell.”
Link supplied me with another gagging sound that had us all howling. “They wash it first, Storm,” he mumbled, clearly scandalized. “Lily is very hygienic.”
“Glad to hear it,” I joked.
“You may have ruined eating ass for me now, jerk-off.”
Fuck, it felt good to smile.
The day had been hard, the week had been harder, and the goddamn month and start to the year hadn’t been fucking easy either.
I needed a break.
Coming home felt like that, but mostly, what perked me up was that Keira had danced with me in the graveyard.
I wasn’t sure if she would, but she had.
I could still feel her in my arms, could still feel the slickness of her tears through my shirt.
Did it make me a fucking sap that I regretted it when they dried?
Yeah, I thought that might be the official definition of a sap.
While the murder in the hall had been impromptu, it was just another welcome home. A reminder of the man who led us, who had honor and who believed in duty, who lived his life with respect.
I’d missed these fuckers.
Didn’t matter that we were always on the phone to each other, I missed them and regretted that my visits home were just that—visits.
“When are you bringing Cruz onto the council?”
Nyx frowned at me. “Why do you ask?”
“You know there’s no room,” Steel retorted.
Cruz watched Anchor and River haul Lever’s corpse into a bathtub, then he dragged out his chemicals, completely aware he was at the center of our attention as he got to work.
“He deserves it. The shit he does for the club?”
“Giulia’s been on at me about this. Has Keira gotten you to talk to me—”
I snorted. “If you think Keira wastes her words on club business, you’re fucking mistaken.”
He shot me a look. “She still giving you a hard time?”
“Things have been better since Rex visited.”
“Why?”
“I get the feeling they had a talk.”
Nyx whistled. “Rex and his talks.”
“Doesn’t give them often, but when he does, they pack a hell of a punch,” I agreed.
Link, who’d finally stopped gagging, asked, “Where do you think they went?”
“Just for a ride. They’ll be back. He was a ticking time bomb,” I mused. “You saw how he was ghosting around the place, listening in, not talking… He only does that when he’s about to lose his shit.
“Lever was just enough of a dumb fuck to do something disrespectful on a day like today.”
“Think we should watch out for another explosion?” Steel queried.
I arched a brow. “Why are you asking me? You know him as well as I do.”
Steel sniffed. “You were in his house when Bear made Rex pay for losing his temper.”
“True.” I hitched a shoulder. “Bear wasn’t cruel.”
More often than not, he’d made us go running around the compound together. That wasn’t a punishment for me. Some days, running was the only time I’d felt free as a kid.
“Not saying he was, just saying that you’ve seen the aftermath of shit like this more than we have.”
“That’s why I know he’ll go for a ride then come home.”
What was a ride if not a better version of running?
I shoved my hands into my pockets, watching the chemical steam start to rise from the bath where Cruz was at work. He was wearing a gas mask, which was creepy as fuck. I hated those fucking things. They made people look like they’d been bitten by were-ants.
“You heard that Rach’s pregnant?”
I nodded at Link’s question. “I heard. Also heard about you getting arrested, fuckface,” I directed at Nyx.
He shoved me. “Fuck off.”
“Are you seriously going off on this crusade?”
Nyx reached up and twisted his neck until it cracked. “Rex ain’t the only one close to blowing his top.”
“Thought you made a promise.”
“Did. Ain’t breaking it.”
“It’s a sidestep, ain’t it?” I queried, tone doubtful.
“Indy didn’t want my ass in jail; she wanted me to protect my family—I’ll be able to do that.”
“Because O’Donnelly can keep the cops away…?” I let the words fall flat. “No one’s that powerful. Not forever.”
“Maybe not everywhere in the US, but New York’s his playground. Since the Sparrows were drawn out of the woodwork, the Five Points have been consolidating power.” He stared at Cruz who was busy destroying evidence. “Going out of my mind. Last couple months have been rough.”
Link sighed. “He ain’t wrong. Been one hit after another. This ain’t exactly gonna be great for morale. Rex came back from Cali with change in mind. People don’t like change, never mind MC brothers.”
He wasn’t wrong.
Neither was he right.
“I don’t think this’ll be bad for morale,” I disagreed. “It’s a sign of strength. Brothers forget what Rex can do because he don’t do it often. A reminder’s always good. Plus, when you patch in Harlow, he’ll be a brother too.”
“He ain’t made to be a brother,” Steel said grimly. “He ain’t got the stomach for it.”
“He can grow a stomach,” Nyx rumbled. “Give him time.”
“If it were anyone else, we wouldn’t bother,” was all Steel said.
“Well, that’s the point. He isn’t anyone else, is he? He’s Jessie Dresden’s brother, and he saw us kill Samuel Haune. He has leverage over us, but we have it over him too.”
I cast Nyx a glance. “You like him, don’t you?”
Nyx grumbled, “I don’t like anyone.”
Link let loose a laugh as he hijacked Nyx and dragged him into a noogie. “You know you love us.”
“Fuck off,” Nyx snapped, shoving him away before he folded his arms across his chest again. “You’re my family. I don’t have to like you.”
I snorted. “You say the sweetest shit.”
Nyx just flipped me the bird.
“He’s not all bad,” Sin stated.
“Who? Nyx?” I teased.
“Well, him too. I meant Harlow. He’s smart.”
“He is?” Link questioned.
“Very. Got talking to him about some shit from the Bible one day last week—”
“Since when were you into religion?”
“He didn’t try to ram it down my throat,” Sin said, ignoring Steel. “He just explained what he was reading and drew a parallel to today. He’ll be good in an admin role around the club.
“Speaking of, I finally got some men trained up for the strip joint. Nyx, you okay with me bringing Hawk deeper into managing the day-to-day security—”
“Ain’t my say you need,” Nyx interrupted.
Sin grimaced. “Been asking you for so long now, I forget I gotta consult Rex first. Sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
I eyed Nyx. “You don’t miss acting as Prez?”
Nyx shook his head. “No. I’m not made to lead.”
“Bullshit. You are. You’re just not meant to be the one who has the final say. All these dipshits here look up to you, don’t they? Sin just fucking did it in front of us.”
Nyx wriggled his shoulders. “You going somewhere with this?”
“No. Just saying you should watch yourself. No one is untouchable.”
“Ain’t that the point?” he countered grimly.
I sighed. “I just want you with your family, Nyx. Don’t want you torn apart from them like I was before Keira agreed to bring Cyan to Ohio.”
“Giulia’d never let Nyx catch a break,” Link mocked.
“Fuck off, Link,” Nyx grated out. “Stop saying shit about her like that. She gets it. She gets me. Yes, she’s a whack job, and yes, it’s funny, but I’m just as crazy as she is, and she accepts me. She’s my fucking life—”
“If she was, wouldn’t you be able to stop with this hunting shit?”
Nyx set dead eyes on me. “When Giulia found out her dad was a rapist, she asked me if the buzzing in her head would go away. I couldn’t lie to her, so I told her that it didn’t.
And it doesn’t. It blankets everything, all of my senses until I feel like it blinds me and deafens me.
Until it’s on my fucking tongue, on my skin, in my nose, tainting the very air I breathe.
“Indy asked me to make a promise to be there for my kid, and I’d rather die than leave Giules alone to raise our baby, but the truth is, some fucking days, that buzzing is so goddamn loud I could claw it out of my head with a hammer.
“My woman knows what I’m going through. She feels it too.
What fucking use is a father who sticks around only to claw his skull open with a hammer when his kid is ten?
What fucking use is a man who can’t function because all he can fucking hear and see is his sister being mauled by a monster?
” He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “I know what you’re doing and I know it comes from a good place, but you took drugs to escape, and you’re having to find a way out of that. And good for you, man.
“I’m proud of you. Fucking proud. Every day you’re clean is a day I celebrate, and knowing you’re doing what you can to get back with Keira makes me even fucking prouder. You’re fixing your mistakes.
“But that’s what I’m doing too. I’m not addicted to the kill. I do it to function.”
“You don’t think some days I took drugs to function too?” I saw the hell in his eyes and knew I was wasting my breath.
Nyx released a shuddery breath. “Hunting’s my anti-depressant.”
“You did well as acting-Prez. I know you did—maybe if Rex gave you more responsibilities,” Steel started but Nyx stopped him.
“No. I don’t want that. I’ll stick as VP, and I’ll be good at it, but the hunting…
O’Donnelly means it. He knows how this feels.
He has that fucking buzzing too. He has demons who haunt him.
He’ll keep me safe. You don’t have to trust him, but I do.
Because he knows how this works. He knows the only escape is taking that final breath—”
“Why are you talking like this, man?” Sin demanded. “You got too much to fucking live for.”
“That’s the exact reason. Because I need you to get on board with this. I need you to see that I’m going through with this because I feel safe in doing so, and this is a low-risk way of me living my life, of being there for my woman and kid.”
There was so much I could have said, so much I wanted to, but I wasn’t about to beat a dead horse.
Instead, I grabbed him by the nape, and I shoved my forehead against his. “You need to get out of town fast, come straight to Ohio. You hear me?”
“I hear you.”
“Fucking promise me, Nyx.”
“I promise,” Nyx rasped.
I shoved him away. “Guess that’s the only reassurance we’ll get.”
And, in the grand fucking scheme of things, it wasn’t much of a reassurance at all.