Chapter 10
Sierra
After spending a week away from school, Sierra realized her sister was right.
She couldn’t keep living with Teresa. For the first time in months, she temporarily felt like she could finally breathe.
Less than a day into being back at school, she was suffocating again.
Teresa had barely said one word to her, and Sierra was ready to jump out of her own skin.
She didn’t bother running her plan to switch rooms past Teresa. She figured if she did, there was a chance Teresa would try to talk her out of it, and Sierra couldn’t afford to let that happen.
She had done her research and learned the first step was contacting her RA, so she started by knocking on her door one night while Teresa was studying in the library.
“Sierra, right?” her RA asked when she opened the door. “How can I help you?”
“I need help.” Sierra swallowed hard, suddenly very nervous. “I want to switch roommates for next semester.”
“Oh yeah? Why is that? You don’t feel in danger, do you?”
Sierra shook her head. She was in danger of going crazy, but she knew that wasn’t what her RA meant.
“We don’t get along. We used to be…” Sierra hesitated.
She wanted to be honest, but she also knew how much that would piss Teresa off, and that wasn’t her goal in doing this.
“We were best friends, and now we’re not.
It’s making it really hard to feel at home in my own place. ”
The RA nodded as if she understood. “I understand how tough that can be. I’ve seen a lot of people room with their best friend, only to find out they aren’t compatible at all. It’s heartbreaking not only to lose your best friend, but also to feel uncomfortable in your room.”
Thank god. She gets it. “Exactly. Please tell me there’s something you can do.”
The RA nodded again. “Of course. To start, I need to do a few peer mediation sessions with you and your roommate. If we’re not able to work things out through these sessions, I will go with you to speak to someone at the Office of Residence Life to see if a change is possible. How does that sound?”
It sounded horrible. Sierra had tried to get Teresa to sit down and talk to her multiple times since the semester started.
At first, Teresa somewhat humored her, but even back then, their talks never actually went anywhere.
Sierra didn’t know how it would help to have someone there with them as they talked, except to piss Teresa off, because she would assume Sierra was trying to out her.
“What if my roommate doesn’t agree to do peer mediation? ”
“If things are as bad as you say they are, I’m not sure why she wouldn’t, but if that’s the case, we can skip that step, and I will inform the Office of Residence Life of her refusal.”
Sierra nodded slowly. “Okay. Sounds good.” She was sure it would make things even more awkward between them, but if it got her away from their current situation, it was worth it.
The RA placed a hand on Sierra’s shoulder. “You seem nervous. What do you say I stop by later after your roommate returns and have a talk with the two of you together? Sound okay?”
Sierra nodded once again, because what else could she do? She had to go through these steps if there was any chance of making it through another semester.
She tried to study while she waited for Teresa to return to their room, but she could barely focus on the words in front of her, which sucked since finals were right around the corner. She jumped when the door opened and Teresa walked in.
“Sorry to startle you,” Teresa said with a chuckle.
Sierra waited for her to say more, but she didn’t.
Instead, she took off her shoes and hopped onto her bed.
She smiled as she stared down at something on her phone.
The hollow ache in her heart that Sierra had gotten way too used to returned as she watched Teresa, because she knew that smile.
It was the smile she used to give Sierra.
It meant she was most likely texting one of the many guys she had a crush on.
How was she so okay while Sierra felt like her entire world was crumbling down around her? It was so unfair.
A few minutes later, as promised, there was a knock on their door. Teresa looked up from her phone and furrowed her eyebrows at Sierra. “Are you expecting someone?”
“Um, kind of.” Sierra got off of her bed and opened the door without saying anything else. Teresa would find out what was going on soon enough.
The RA stepped into the room and looked between the two of them before pointing her attention at Teresa. “I hear from Sierra that the two of you are having some issues.”
“What did she tell you?” Teresa asked as she threw a heated glare in Sierra’s direction.
The RA sat in a desk chair and motioned for the two of them to sit as well. “I know it can be hard coming to school and realizing that you and your friend might not have as much in common as you think. Have you two been friends for a long time?”
“Since middle school,” Sierra answered softly. She stared down at the comforter of her bed to avoid looking at Teresa.
“That’s a long time. It definitely makes things harder when you’re not getting along.”
“We get along fine,” Teresa said defensively. “Sierra just doesn’t like that I have other friends.”
Sierra brought her eyes up from the comforter and found the RA looking from Teresa to her. “Jealousy is a very normal feeling in friendship, especially when you’ve known each other for so long and your relationship is experiencing changes.”
“I’m not…” Sierra stopped because she couldn’t honestly finish that sentence.
She was jealous. She was jealous of every guy Teresa hung out with.
She was jealous of everyone Teresa kissed.
She closed her eyes to try to keep her tears inside.
No more crying. For the love of god, please no more crying.
She opened her eyes when she heard a loud thud. It turned out the sound was Teresa getting back off of her bed.
Teresa smiled a malicious smile and put both hands in the air.
“Listen, this is clearly Sierra’s issue.
I have plans with a guy tonight, so I don’t have time to sit around and listen to this.
” She looked Sierra dead in the eyes for the first time in who knew how long.
“If you want to switch rooms for some reason, go ahead and do it, but don’t waste my time by dragging me into it. ”
Before anyone could respond, Teresa walked out of the room. A silence spread through the room that Sierra couldn’t take. She had to say something.
“ Now can I file the request for a new roommate?” she asked.
Her RA studied her face for a moment before nodding. “If you’re sure. I don’t want you to make any rash decisions because you’re… upset… about your friend meeting new people.”
Great. Not only was Teresa pissed at her, but their RA clearly thought Sierra was the problem. Fucking great. “I’m sure,” she said as confidently as possible. She was happy when her voice didn’t crack from trying so hard to hold back tears.
“Okay. It’s too late to do it tonight, but we can do it first thing tomorrow morning if that works for you.”
“That works.” Honestly, Sierra would make anything work at this point. Now that Teresa knew what her plan was, it was even more important that this switch happened, or next semester would be even more awkward.
*
The next morning, Sierra and her RA went to the Office of Residence Life together, as promised. It was in the school’s main building which also held the admissions office, the dean’s office, and the offices of a bunch of other school advisors and personnel.
“How can I help you?” a woman asked as soon as they walked into the correct office. She was typing furiously on her computer and didn’t even look up at them. She sounded annoyed that they were even there.
“I have a room change request for next semester,” her RA stated, seemingly not the slightest bit swayed by this woman’s attitude. It made Sierra wonder how often she did this.
The woman sighed, licked her fingers, and handed Sierra a piece of paper. “Fill that out, and I’ll see what I can do.”
Sierra grabbed the paper and a pen and took a seat. The form had a ton of questions asking for her information as well as information about her current rooming situation. Sierra wasn’t sure how to answer most questions since she couldn’t be completely honest about what was going on between them.
After twenty minutes, she finally finished the form. She handed it to the woman who stared at it for only a few seconds before typing into her computer once again. “Is this an emergency? Are you in danger? Worried about your life?”
“What? No.”
The woman smiled for the first time as she held the form out toward Sierra. “Sorry. Nothing I can do.”
Sierra’s body heated up and her blood boiled. Had this woman even checked anything? “What do you mean? I… I need this. I can’t live with her anymore.”
“If you’re not in immediate danger, there’s nothing I can do. There’s no housing available.”
“But there suddenly would be if I was in danger?” Sierra asked, aghast. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
The woman took off her glasses with one hand and rubbed her forehead with the other. “Listen. If you wanted to switch rooms, you should’ve put the request through weeks ago. My hands are tied. There’s nothing I can do for you this late in the semester.”
Sierra bit down on her bottom lip as she tried to hold back her tears.
She had made things even more awkward with Teresa, and it was all for nothing.
Sierra had to get out of this office. The walls were closing in on her and she thought she might throw up.
Without saying anything, she ran from the room and straight out of the building.
She had no idea where she was going, but before she could figure it out, she ran right into someone.
She brought her eyes up and found dark ones looking right back into hers.
The gurgling in her stomach became even more intense.
There was only one person in the whole world who had eyes like that—Ellie Fucking Finch.