Chapter 11 #2
“Really?” Ellie’s voice came out at a higher pitch than usual, totally giving away how excited she was over Sierra actually saying yes.
She cleared her throat, hoping it would help to make her sound more chill.
There was no reason for her to be this excited about a dinner conversation.
“I’ll pick you up in about thirty? Will that give you enough time to shower? ”
Sierra pulled her phone out of her bag and stared at it for a few seconds before looking back at Ellie. “That should work. I’m in Fraser.”
“Would you… Could I…?” God, why couldn’t Ellie get her words out?
It’s not like she was asking a girl for her number.
Well, that’s actually exactly what she was doing, but it’s not like this was a date.
Sierra was her teammate that she was grabbing dinner with.
They were barely even friends. It was ridiculous for her to be so nervous.
She took her phone out and shook it in the air like a complete idiot. “Your number?”
Sierra’s eyes went wide, but she quickly recovered and nodded. “Yeah. Of course. That way you can let me know when you’re outside.” Sierra pointed to the phone. “May I?” she asked before reaching for it.
Ellie handed it to her and Sierra quickly typed in her number, then hit the call button. She smiled at Ellie as she handed the phone back to her, and it made Ellie’s stomach somersault. “There. Now, I have yours too.”
“Awesome. Thanks. You should smile more often, by the way.”
Shit. Why the fuck did I just say that?
Sierra’s smile grew even wider. “I’ll think about it.” She turned around without another word, but Ellie could have sworn there was a skip to her step that hadn’t been there before.
Ellie was so excited about their dinner, she sprinted back to her apartment.
By the time she got there, she was so out of breath, she had to go into the kitchen to refill her water bottle.
As soon as she shut the water off and got her breathing under control, she heard a strange noise coming from Juniper’s room.
It almost sounded like crying, but that didn’t make sense since Juniper never cried.
In fact, now that she was thinking about it, Ellie couldn’t remember even one time throughout their whole friendship that she had seen Juniper cry.
She walked over to the door and knocked on it, and as soon as she did, the sound stopped. “Everything okay?” she asked through the door.
“I’m good.”
Juniper’s voice sounded anything but good. Ellie brought her hand to the doorknob to test if it was unlocked. Much to her surprise, the knob turned, and the door opened.
When Juniper saw her, she quickly wiped the tears from her face. “I told you I’m good.”
Ellie walked over to her best friend and sat next to her on the bed, placing her hand in Juniper’s as soon as they were side by side. “What’s wrong?”
Juniper shook her head. “Nothing. All good.” She pointed to her face where she plastered on the worst fake smile.
“Good try. I’m your best friend, remember?”
Instead of saying anything in response, Juniper stared into space as though she was lost in her own thoughts. The silence stretched out between them and Ellie was about to say something when Juniper finally spoke again. “Have you ever heard the old song ‘All American Girl’ by Carrie Underwood?”
“I might have heard my mama listening to it at some point, but I’m not really sure. Didn’t that come out before we were born? Also, isn’t she on the People We Don’t Talk About list after the whole Inauguration bullshit?”
Ellie’s questions finally made Juniper crack a real smile. “I think it came out after we were born, but not too long after. And yeah, I know. My apologies.”
“Why did you ask me about that song?” Ellie had no clue where this conversation was possibly going.
More tears came to Juniper’s eyes. “When I started running track in high school, my dad used to sing that song to me. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time, but he would always tell me that someday I would be this amazing college track athlete and be his official All-American Girl.
Once I was in college, it finally clicked for me.
He actually believed I was capable of getting top eight at nationals.
” Juniper let out a strained laugh. “I always thought he was crazy for thinking that was possible, but then last year…” Juniper took a few deep heaving breaths and closed her eyes.
Ellie didn’t need her to say anything else.
She knew exactly what she was getting at.
Juniper didn’t only want to go to nationals to get an all-expenses paid trip to California.
She wanted to fulfill her dad’s dream for her.
Ellie didn’t know much about Juniper’s dad except that he died suddenly right before her senior year of high school. She almost never talked about him.
Ellie squeezed Juniper’s hand. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“Of course you didn’t. I never talk about it.
I know I should honor my dad’s memory, or whatever the fuck else my therapist has told me, by talking about him, but a lot of the time it’s easier not to.
I’d rather be the funny, bitchy girl than the girl with the dead dad. Does that make me a terrible person?”
Ellie shook her head as she fought her own tears from falling. She felt so sad for her best friend, but she needed to be strong right now. “I don’t think there’s one right way to handle a tragedy. We all deal with things in our own way, and that’s okay.”
“I know it’s my own fault that I’m not on the relay anymore, but it still hurts. I feel Iike I let my dad down.”
“I don’t know much about him, but from what you’ve told me, I don’t think you could ever let him down. It sounds like he loved you more than anything in the world, and he’d be so proud of you, no matter what.”
Juniper nodded slowly. “I’m going to try harder.
With track, I mean. I won’t drink as much this season.
I’ll put in extra work. Maybe if I do that, I can get my spot back.
I realize the Wicked Witch of West End will be on the relay team no matter how much I wish she wasn’t, but I could probably beat Kate or Jane’s times if I worked hard enough. ”
Shit . Ellie was so wrapped up in making sure Juniper was okay, she had almost forgotten about her plans with Sierra.
What was she supposed to do? First, she needed to be there for her best friend.
This was the girl who held her hair back the first time she got drunk.
The one who crawled into Ellie’s bed and held her almost every night for a month while she cried herself to sleep over some stupid girl.
The first person by her side congratulating her after every single race. Ellie needed to be here for her now.
If only she could remember what the last thing was that Juniper said. Ah, yeah. Working harder. “I have no doubt you can do that,” Ellie told her. “Anything you need me to do, I’m here for you.”
A spiteful smile spread across Juniper’s face. “You could Tonya What’s-Her-Face that bitch in the kneecaps for me. What do you say?”
A pit formed in Ellie’s stomach. She was so excited about their dinner, she had almost forgotten Sierra was supposed to be the enemy. She definitely didn’t feel like that right now. “Okay, maybe not anything ,” Ellie said, forcing out a laugh so Juniper didn’t get suspicious.
Juniper sighed. “Fine. You’re way too nice.” She laid her head on Ellie’s shoulder and leaned into her. “Any chance you’d be okay with getting food delivered and watching a Hallmark Christmas movie while we study tonight?”
“Actually, I…” How was Ellie supposed to tell Juniper she had other plans tonight? Especially when those plans were with Sierra of all people. And after Juniper had opened up and been so honest with her. “I think that sounds amazing. Let’s do it. You pick out a movie while I shower, okay?”
Sierra would have to understand, right? As Ellie walked out of the room, she took her phone out of her pocket and sent a quick text off to Sierra, who was now listed in her phone as Fin .
Roommate emergency, sorry. Raincheck?
It took almost no time at all for Sierra to respond back. Yeah. Whatever.
She definitely didn’t understand.