Chapter 31
Ellie
After some last minute planning and a lot of discussions, Ellie and Sierra had decided to stay in Pennsylvania for Spring Break.
They had rented a tiny cottage by a lake for three nights, and while most of their teammates would have scoffed at the idea of staying in cool Pennsylvania over somewhere tropical and warm, Ellie couldn’t wait.
She was about to have three full days away with Sierra with no interruptions, sneaking around, or studying.
Nothing sounded more perfect than that. The only responsibility they would have was working out, but working out with her biggest competition was a pretty good deal.
“Have I mentioned how excited I am for this?” Sierra squeezed Ellie’s hand and bounced up and down in the passenger seat.
In the week since telling off Teresa, Ellie could see a visible change in Sierra. She appeared lighter as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and Ellie loved seeing it.
Speaking of that big, scary L word, Ellie had also realized, with no doubt in her mind, that she loved the girl sitting next to her.
She had no idea when she would tell her since she didn’t want to scare her off so early in their relationship, but she knew these feelings were real, and it was getting harder and harder to hold them in.
Ellie squeezed Sierra’s hand back. “You have told me… about a million times,” she teased. “But I like it, because I’m super excited too.”
After traveling down a bunch of back roads, the cottage finally came into view. It looked just as cute in person as it did in the pictures, which made Ellie even more excited about their stay.
She pulled into the driveway and opened her trunk so they could get out their overnight bags and the groceries they had picked up on the way.
Even though neither of them could cook anything fancy (or really, anything at all), they decided they would rather stay in and eat microwave pizza and ramen noodles than go out to a restaurant.
This week was about having time together with just the two of them, and they planned to take full advantage of that.
After typing in the code to get into the house, Ellie opened the door and motioned for Sierra to walk in before her.
“Wow,” Sierra whispered as she looked around. “It really is like the pictures.” She looked back at Ellie and grabbed her hand. “Rustic and romantic. I love it.”
“I love…” Now is not the time. “It too.”
After exploring the small house and putting their bags in the bedroom, they went into the kitchen to make something to eat for dinner. Two microwaved pizzas later, they were sitting on the couch, snuggled close together, and watching a movie.
“I know it’s pretty cold outside, but after the movie, how would you feel about bundling up, grabbing a bunch of blankets, and watching the stars?” Ellie asked.
Instead of answering right away, Sierra rested a hand on Ellie’s cheek and kissed her softly.
She pulled away just enough that Ellie was able to see the extra sparkle in your eyes.
“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like you’re real,” Sierra told her, an awe to her tone that made it clear she was telling the truth.
“Where did you come from, Eleanor Patricia Finch?”
Ellie poked Sierra in the side. “I thought I told you never to speak that name out loud again.”
Sierra yelped and wiggled away from Ellie, a laugh escaping her throat as she did. “What do you prefer? Ellie Patty?”
Ew. Ellie made a gagging motion with her hand. “That’s even worse. I didn’t know that was possible.”
Sierra crossed her arms and smiled proudly. “You’re welcome.”
Ellie pounced on Sierra and began to tickle her sides. Sierra tried to get away, but Ellie had her pinned down so she couldn’t. “Take it back.”
“Take what back?” Sierra asked between giggles.
“Promise to never call me Ellie Patty ever again.”
“I can’t.” More giggles.
“Promise to never call me Ellie Patty again, or I’ll withhold kisses for the rest of the trip.”
Sierra put her hands in the air as though she were surrendering. “Okay. You win. I won’t call you Ellie Patty.”
Ellie laughed before leaning in to give Sierra a kiss. This girl is crazy if she thinks I could go an hour without kissing her, let alone a few days. “I can’t believe you actually fell for that.”
“Fell for what?” Sierra tilted her head as she asked the question, but quickly stole another kiss from Ellie as if she actually believed they could be kept from her.
“Me lying about withholding kisses. I could never.”
“I know.” Sierra smirked in a way that made it appear like she was trying to hold in laughter. “Ellie Patty.”
After the movie ended, Sierra and Ellie went to their room to christen the bed, and after working up an appetite, they made themselves more food.
After being completely satisfied in more than one way, they grabbed blankets and headed out to their yard that overlooked the lake.
They made it out before the sun had completely set, so they were able to watch it setting beyond the lake.
Ellie looked from the sunset to Sierra and back to the sun.
“You know, this sunset is the second most beautiful thing I’ve seen recently. ”
“Oh yeah? And what’s the first?” The smile on Sierra’s face said that she knew exactly what the first was.
Ellie put an arm around her and pulled her in close. “I think you already know.”
“Can you tell me?” she asked softly, almost unsure, as if she had to hear the words from Ellie to truly believe they were true.
“Sierra.” Ellie stared at Sierra until she finally looked over at her and let their eyes meet.
“I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the entire world.
From the first time I saw you, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off of you.
Now that I know you, you’re even more beautiful to me. Please don’t ever doubt that. Okay?”
Sierra broke their eye contact to gaze down at the blanket they were sitting on.
“Sometimes it’s hard, you know? Teresa used to say all the right things.
She made all of these promises to me, and then suddenly, it was like she became a different person overnight.
I realize you’re not her, and I keep reminding myself of that, but when the person you thought you knew better than anyone else in this world changes right before your eyes, it’s almost impossible to convince yourself it won’t happen with everyone else. ”
“That makes sense.” Ellie had gotten her heart broken before, but it wasn’t to the extent of Sierra’s.
Ellie never dated someone she had been friends with before.
Sure, there was the usual progression, but it was pretty obvious early on in all of her relationships the direction they were headed in.
Everyone knows relationships can end. No one goes into a friendship believing it will.
This person who was supposed to be on Sierra’s side forever was now her enemy.
Ellie couldn’t even begin to imagine how much that must suck.
“I want you to know I’m not going to hurt you, though. ”
Sierra sighed and laid her head on Ellie’s shoulder. “And I want you to know that I’m really trying to believe you, but it’s tough to ignore the voice in my head telling me otherwise.”
“Well, I hope this week together helps to silence that voice a little bit.”
“Me too.”
As the trip passed by way too quickly, Ellie wasn’t sure if it had eased Sierra’s worries at all, but she did know it had caused Ellie to fall even harder.
There was nothing magical about this trip.
It was very domestic. They spent every day much like the first. They woke up in bed together, drank coffee by the lake, spent most of the day switching between watching movies and talking, then ended their night under the stars.
One night they even made love underneath them, and Ellie thought her heart might burst into a million tiny love-filled pieces.
It took everything in her not to tell Sierra she loved her at that moment, but with Sierra’s clear hesitance, she didn’t want to push anything and scare her away.
On their last night of vacation, they laid under the stars together, neither of them saying a word for a very long time. Ellie was thinking about how much she didn’t want to leave, and she wondered if that’s where Sierra’s head was as well.
After close to an hour of silence, Sierra rolled onto her side to look over at Ellie. “I think I’m ready to tell people about us.”
It was as if Sierra had said the four-letter word Ellie had been holding inside with the way Ellie’s heart jumped in her chest. “Really? You’re sure you’re ready?”
“I am.” Sierra furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you not? Do you want to keep it a secret?”
Ellie grabbed Sierra’s hands. It was hard to understand why her making sure Sierra was ready would make Sierra think she was questioning it, but the trauma from her last relationship was still very much present.
Ellie needed to keep reminding herself of that.
Things she didn’t think twice about were the same things that kept Sierra up at night.
“Of course I’m ready. I’ve been ready from the beginning.
I do want to talk to Juniper first, of course.
As my best friend, I think it’s important she hears it directly from me personally, rather than finding out at the same time as everyone else.
It might take her a little bit to get used to it, but I have no doubt that she’ll come around when she sees how happy you make me. ”
“Yeah, she’ll just have to get over the fact that she hates me.” Sierra squeezed her eyes shut, and Ellie worried she might start to cry.
“That’s not it,” Ellie reassured her. “I honestly think she’s over that. I just don’t think she’s going to be super happy that I’ve been lying to her.”
That was the one thing that made Ellie okay with continuing to keep this a secret. She knew Juniper was going to be pissed when she found out Ellie had been lying to her, and even though she knew she would have to deal with that eventually, she had no problem putting it off.
“I’m sorry you had to lie because of me,” Sierra said softly.
Ellie put a hand on Sierra’s cheek. “I’d do it all over again if I had to. You’re worth it.”
A relaxed grin took over Sierra’s face. “Thank you for saying that.” She looked back down at the blanket and picked at a loose thread. “When do you think you’ll tell Juniper?”
“How about tomorrow, right when we get back to school?” She lifted Sierra’s chin to force their eyes to meet. “Then, tomorrow night, I’ll take you on a date to celebrate no longer being in the closet.”
“That sounds perfect.”
And it would have been perfect if Ellie didn’t walk into her apartment the next day to find Juniper crying hysterically and completely inconsolable.
Was this some weird déjà vu or had everything just come full circle to the first time Ellie had asked Sierra to dinner?
At least now Sierra knew her well enough to understand if she had to cancel.
At least, Ellie hoped that was the case.