Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
I jerk awake, blinking in confusion as the early morning sun shines right into my eyes. There’s a soft, sleepy sigh, and my eyes drop, widening when I find Evan pressed against me. He’s wrapped tightly in my arms, both of us in the middle of the bed and as close together as we can possibly get. His head rests on my chest, and his hands are curled on my torso.
For a moment, I just stare, my heart thudding painfully in my chest. He’s so fucking pretty. His bratty mouth is quiet for once, and his long lashes fan across his sharp cheekbones. He looks good in my arms. It feels right having him in my bed.
I should get up and get Alice ready for school.
I should move, but I don’t. I tighten my hold on him, pressing my nose to his hair and inhaling. I allow myself this weakness that I would never allow in public. Here, I let myself cling to him, closing my eyes once more.
I wish we could be like this all the time. I wish I weren’t so scared of my past because loving Evan Shaw could just about heal anybody.
I want our whispered nights in the dark, I want laughter,and I want pain. I want it all with him .
I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to take it because I might ruin it like everything else.
Chased out of my peaceful moment by my thoughts, I place a tender kiss on his head and gently roll him over before slipping my arms from him. He sighs, and I freeze, but he just snuggles deeper into my bed, snoring once more.
Sneaking out of my bed so I don’t wake the angel sleeping there, I pull on jeans and a shirt and slip out of my room, heading downstairs to make Alice’s breakfast. I start the coffee and begin making sausage and bacon, then eggs and toast. The scent of food fills the house, and right on cue, I hear Alice banging around in her room, the familiar sound going straight to my aching heart and easing something within me.
No matter what, I’ll always have her and this—our routine, the familiar.
Even when I had nothing else, I had us. One day, I know she’ll have her own house and family, and I’ll miss the sound of her clumsily falling out of bed to come for breakfast. The house will be quiet, and I’ll be alone because no matter what I want, I know nobody could love me forever.
She comes down moments later, her eyes closed as she shuffles inside, sniffing the air like a bloodhound. I watch her, memorizing the moment. Her hair is pushed up onto her head, and there is a crease on her cheek from her pillow. She grew up so fast, but some things never change. I wish they could stay like this forever, but they won’t.
Proof of that is the groan coming from the stairs as another person heads our way.
I chuckle as Evan shuffles into the kitchen, his eyes half open and his hair sticking up from sleep. “Food,” he declares.
I glance between Alice and Evan as he sinks into a seat, both of them half asleep but sniffing the air, and I can’t help but smile. For one more day, this house is filled with love and laughter, with people and memories. I’ll cherish them so when I’m alone once more, I can look back and remember the better days when I was happy.
Laying the food on the table, I pour Alice coffee with the sugar she likes and put it between her hands before she sips it like a zombie. I pour Evan one as well, trying to figure out if he likes cream or sugar. I take a wild guess and set it before him before making my own and sitting down. I sip mine, watching them both nurse their coffees until more life comes back into their eyes. Once they are more awake, I dish up food, making Evan a plate and then Alice. She takes a bite woodenly as Evan shoots me a small, sleepy smile.
“Morning, princess,” he mumbles.
“Good morning, pretty boy,” I reply, kissing his cheek since I can’t help myself.
Alice suddenly gasps, making me jerk back, her eyebrow arched as she turns to Evan and points. “You! You’re here!”
“Uh-huh, he’s been here this whole time,” I point out as I relax back, confused about how comfortable I am with him around my sister. I don’t let anyone close to her, since she’s the only good thing in my life, but I know Evan would never hurt her. Hell, he would help me protect her.
“It’s too early for your sass, brother,” she snipes, turning to Evan. “I don’t function before caffeine, but you’re here.”
“Close your mouth,” I warn as I grab another slice of toast, butter it, and put it on Evan’s plate. She looks between us, grinning, before wiggling her brows at me.
“So, Evan, did you spend the night? I had my headphones on, just for future reference.”
He blushes but grins.
“Enough, Alice,” I tell her, but I can’t hide my smile.
Why does Evan Shaw fit so perfectly into our little kitchen and our tiny, broken family as if he were always meant to be here?
A boy without his parents’ love and one craving it.
“I did.” He nods, shooting me a look as if he’s unsure how much to say. “It was late, so better here than heading back and waking my roomie.”
“Uh-huh, does this mean I have a new daddy?” she jokes as Evan chokes on his toast. “Can I call you Papa? ”
“Dear God, I thought you were the sane sibling.” He coughs as I hand him some juice and pat his back.
“Nah, I hide it better. Plus, he makes me look sane.” She points her thumb at me as I sigh. “So you like my brother, huh? Why? He’s an ass.”
“A pretty one.” Evan grins.
“Ew, too much.” She gets to her feet. “I better get dressed.” She walks my way, kissing my head as she passes. “I’m glad he’s here. I’ll make sure to put in my noise canceling headphones from now on.” She laughs as she hurries away.
“Get ready, you scoundrel!” I call.
“Make me!” she shouts back as I sigh. When I glance at Evan, he’s smiling.
“What?” I grumble.
“I like your house. Mine was always empty and quiet. I like the craziness. It’s nice.” He shrugs as he takes a bite, and my heart breaks for him. I can’t imagine growing up in a cold, empty house without love. Our little family might be broken and slightly insane, but it’s filled with love and laughter.
My heart breaks for Evan right there and then, so I kiss him swiftly. “Then come here every day. It can be yours too. I’m not saying you won’t get sick of the bickering but . . .” I laugh. “It’s yours.”
“I wish,” he offers softly, and I lean back, watching him, but he seems to shake it off and then smiles brightly at me.
“I better get changed. I’m stealing a shirt.” He heads upstairs and I watch him go.
What did he mean?
Does he not plan to stay?
“Alice! Fuck, why isn’t the door locked?” I hear a moment later, and all my negative thoughts morph into laughter.
He wanted crazy after all.
I drive them both to school, Evan riding in my passenger seat where he belongs. I pull into the familiar parking lot, under one of the oak trees. Students mill about on the grass in the sun, while others rush onto campus for their classes.
“Thanks for the ride,” Alice mutters from the back.
“Yes, thanks for the ride, Anders.” Evan winks. “I really enjoyed it.”
Sweet fuck. I swallow hard as I reach behind my seat and grab what I was looking for before I change my mind.
“Here.” I hand over a lunch box.
He blinks, looking from it to me. “What is this?”
“Your lunch. I didn’t know if you ate here or not but—” I scrub my neck in embarrassment. “Just take it.” I shove it at him as a slow smile curls up his lips.
“You softie. Thank you, princess.”
“Wait, where the fuck is my lunch?” Alice asks from the back.
“You’re old enough to get your own,” I snap.
“So is he!” she protests.
“He’s pretty,” I retort, reaching back and pushing her toward the door as he watches us.
“I’m pretty too. This is favoritism, and I will not stand for it!” she argues as she gets out.
Rolling my eyes, I grin at him. “I’ll text you later.”
“Sure, have fun at work.” He leans in to kiss me before my eyes shoot to the people watching, and then he leans back, his smile wilting slightly. “See you later, princess.” He’s gone before I can speak again, and I wish I let him kiss me if only just to see his smile, but also to get me through my day without seeing him.
My eyes linger on him, even though I should leave, but I’m glad I didn’t when I see a buff guy pushing away from a bench and heading his way, smiling and stepping way too close to Evan. He’s flirting, I realize, even from here.
Jealousy courses through me, and even though I have no right, I get out of my car before I can question what I’m doing. As soon as I reach them, I tug Evan away from him and to my side, eyeing the guy with an angry expression.
“Alek?” Evan asks, confused.
“You forgot this.” I hand him his camera that he left in my passenger seat. Luckily, I have that excuse, but it doesn’t stop my jealousy, my eyes on the guy. “See you after class, baby.”
“Um, see you later.” He looks from me to the guy before ducking and hurrying away.
I arch my brow at the guy who backs away, holding his hands up with a knowing grin before he leaves.
Shit, did I just claim Evan Shaw in front of everyone?