Chapter 1 – Richard
“Congratulations,” I virtually scream into Vincent’s ear, as I pull him into a hug.
“Thank you, my friend, but I couldn't see you in the crowd,” he says as he takes a step back from my embrace.
“I was close.” It’s a pathetic reply, but the only one I can give him as I look around, trying to spot David.
“Hey, you okay?” Vincent suddenly asks, clasping my shoulder.
“Yeah, just thinking. You were my last bachelor friend. My last wingman,” I say, faking a laugh, which I know Vincent sees right through.
“I can still be your wingman, but I’m not sure I’ll be much help in the clubs. The world knows I’m gay. That’s not really helpful when trying to get the ladies.”
Now, right now, is the time to tell my best friend the truth.
To tell him that I’m the same as him. That I kept that part of myself hidden, just like he did, and I opened my mouth to do it, but the words dried up in my throat, nothing coming out.
The time to tell him was when David and I were together.
We should have come out first. We should have been the faces to change the sport.
But we didn't, and that ship has now well and truly sailed.
“Thanks. But, you know, I think I’m happy being single.”
“Bullshit,” Vincent replies, but I can see the smile playing on his lips. “I’ve never known you to go without a woman for this long. It must have been close to six months.”
“Vin, do you really want to talk about my love life right now?”
“Okay, something is definitely going on with you. I can’t remember the last time you called me Vin.”
“Nothing’s going on. I just decided I need to start using it more often.”
“Sorry, I’m still calling bullshit, but just know that I’m here. Now, we better get moving, that driver conference is about to start.”
“Lars drove well today,” I say. I watch as a smile spreads across his face, and I try to ignore the pang of jealousy that spreads through my veins at seeing his happiness.
“I can't argue with that. It seems like he’s getting better and better, and he was bloody good to begin with.”
“You know, the more time you spend with Lars, the more English you sound,” I jokingly say.
“You are not funny,” comes his reply, but I also notice that he doesn't disagree with me.
“You know, after what just happened, no one is interested in the race results. They’re just going to want to talk about you and Lars.”
“I know, but I’m hoping Charmaine sets them right.”
Both of us walk into the press conference, and I see the smile on Lars's face as he spots Vincent. Unfortunately, so does all the press, who turn to face Vincent.
“The drivers are to the front of the room,” Vincent replies, and points to the drivers before moving to the back of the room, giving me my first chance to see David.
That man had changed me in ways I never knew was possible, showed me a part of myself that had been hidden so far into my soul, I thought it would never come out.
We told each other we were brave for being our true selves together, in private, and yet, when we talked about telling the world, that braveness turned to cowardice; which ate at our happiness until there was nothing left, and we walked away.
A decision I will regret for the rest of my life.
“Lars, did you know Vincent was going to propose today?” I hear the first journalist ask, and I also don't miss the groan that comes from Vincent, beside me.
“Excuse me.” I see Charmaine get to her feet and stare out at the field of people in front of her, and I swear she makes eye contact with all of them one by one, “this is not the press conference to ask about that. We have a conference directly after this with Lars and Vincent. Please, keep the questions here about the race.”
There is a small grumble that spreads around the crowd, but I don’t think there are going to be any more questions about Lars and Vincent.
“David, you drove well out there today, securing third place, but I’ve heard rumours that this might be your last season with Montague Racing. Does this mean you’re looking for another team?” I wish I could see the journalist who asked this question. How the hell do they get this information?
“I have no idea what my future holds,” comes David’s reply, “but I’m happy at Montague Racing.”
“So, you don't plan on leaving? Having Lars as a teammate must be tough,” comes another question.
“Lars is an exceptional teammate. He has seriously brought out the best in me. Probably more than my own trainers,” David adds, with a smile, to show he’s teasing. “Anyone who gets the chance to be on a team with Lars should count themselves very fortunate.”
David may not realise it, but that wording sounds like he’s planning to leave. I know he didn't mean it like that, but that’s how it sounded to my ears, and I quickly glance over to Vincent, thinking I’m going to see surprise, but I don't.
“Is David leaving?” I ask under my breath, but loud enough for Vincent to hear. “He said he hadn't mentioned anything.” The second the words are out of my mouth I regret them, as Vincent’s head snaps in my direction.
“How the hell do you know that David’s leaving? I’m not even supposed to know,” Vincent demands.
“So, he is leaving?” I ask, ignoring Vincent completely.
“Not if I can help it. David is good for Lars.”
“David isn’t going to stay just to make Lars do better,” I snap back, which causes Vincent to give me a look.
“You seem very invested in David’s future.”
Shit. I really need to be careful. “Look, David is just as good a driver as Lars. They both could push each other more. We need to be harnessing this potential, not letting it go to waste.”
“I would have thought you’d be championing getting fresh blood into the team.”
Vincent isn't wrong, but the thought of losing David from the team is too much. He might not be mine anymore, but the thought of not having him close feels like torture. Regardless of what David thinks, I know he can race, and more importantly, he can win. I think he’s letting Lars's ability to win cloud his judgement. Like he’s forgotten how good he actually is.
“We need to talk about this later. I’ll organise a meeting for all of us. We need to one hundred percent confirm what is going on,” Vincent states, but I can tell he still wants to know how I know what’s going on.
“That sounds like a good idea,” I agree.
Both of us stay quiet for the rest of the conference.
The journalists manage to keep all the questions race related, but I can tell that there were some dying to ask about Lars and Vincent’s relationship.
Finally, all the drivers, except Lars, get up from their chairs, and I watch as Vincent goes and sits next to Lars.
Charmaine, being the wonder that she is, organised for Lars and Vincent’s press conference to take place in the same room as the driver’s one.
I’m surprised most of the journalists stay, with only one or two getting up and leaving.
I’m guessing they’re more sports related magazines, and really don't care about the headlines of a relationship.
“Lars, did you know that Vincent was going to propose?” The same journalist asks, and this time, Lars looks at Vincent, a huge smile on his face. Again, that pang of jealousy hits me.
“I seriously had no idea. If I had, there would have been no way I could've driven like I did today. I would have been a mess.”
“Actually, very few people knew. No one on the team, apart from Charmaine, so she could organise this, and the FIA. I had to ask their permission. Which was probably scarier than when I asked Lars's dad.”
“You asked my dad for permission?” Lars, suddenly, says, sounding shocked, and causing laughter to spread across the room.
“Of course. I’m traditional.”
“Vincent, what would you have done if the FIA had said no?” The question comes from another journalist.
“I would have asked him anyway, just not in front of the world, and made a statement afterwards. I kept my sexuality hidden for decades, and that wasn't fair to me. In fact, it isn’t fair to anyone. Who we date, and love, has nothing to do with how cars are driven or how my teams are run. When Lars is in that car, he’s not my fiancé, he’s my driver, and he understands that. ”
“What about the countries where your relationship is illegal? Do you plan to boycott those races?” The voice of another journalist asks.
“At the moment, no. I’m hoping that those countries will still welcome us to race. We plan to stay in different rooms, etc. Plus, Lars isn't our only driver. It would be unfair to David. But, if we aren't allowed, Lars has agreed to let Otis drive.”
Otis is our third driver; he’s been with us from the start of his career, and he has been slowly making his way up the disciplines, finally making the F1 team about a year ago. His talent is good, but he’s nowhere near that of David or Lars, the experience would be good for him.
“Is Otis really ready for a race?” David’s voice sounds next to me, making me jump. I hadn't heard him come up next to me.
“Is anyone ever ready for their first F1 race?” I question back.
“True, suppose there is a jump from F2, especially with the longer races.”
“He can’t stay out of the car forever; he needs experience in an F1 circuit. We’re only talking about one race.”
“Sounds like you have my replacement already,” David states back.
“No.” And I have to fight the urge to reach out to grab hold of his arm, “this has nothing to do with you potentially leaving. Though, I’m going to tell you now, I’m going to fight you all the way. This is about Lars and the team not losing out on a race.”
“Rich.” I watch as David stops mid-sentence. He only ever called me Rich when we were alone, normally naked, and I don't want to admit how much it makes my pulse increase and blood to travel south.