Chapter 22 – David #2
Jasper’s words are running around in my head, ‘six to twelve months’, and I know that my career is over.
It’s a strange feeling to know that something I worked for all my life can be snatched away from me in the blink of an eye.
I had wanted to retire, but that was a decision I was making.
There was always that possibility that I could return.
Having the decision taken away from you feels very different, indeed.
“We’re going to take you up to x-ray now,” the doctor announces, but I don’t really care. Deep down, I know what he’s going to tell me. Jasper might not be a doctor, but he’s damn good at his job.
Jasper had been right. My x-ray confirmed a torn PCL.
Part of me had been fooling myself that it was nothing.
Maybe just a sprain, and it would be fine.
But then the doctors had started to talk about doing surgery.
Jasper had questioned that it might be too early for that, that we should give it time and wait to see if it started to heal by itself.
When I had asked how long I would have to wait before I could fly, if I went ahead with the surgery, they explained it would be a minimum of six weeks. I knew there was no way I was going to have it. I couldn’t stay in this country for that long.
Thankfully, Vincent has agreed. So, here I was two days after the crash, hands bandaged up, knee in a brace, at an airstrip. I didn’t want to think about how much this was going to cost Vincent, but he had arranged for a private medical flight. It meant that I could sit with my leg stretched out.
“Bet you’re excited to be seeing Rich?” Jasper asks, as we get loaded onto the plane.
“Yeah,” I reply, but I’m not looking forward to being surrounded by people who are so involved in a sport that I can no longer do.
Suddenly, now that I know I will never drive again, that’s the only thing that I want to do. Why the hell did I think that I could give this up? Racing is in my blood. It’s the only thing that I have ever been good at.
“Get some sleep,” Jasper tells me, soon after take-off.
Jasper is worried about me, I know that. I have heard the hushed phone calls when he thought I was sleeping. The odd looks that he has been giving me. I want to reassure him. But I can’t. I suddenly don’t know who I am. But I still close my eyes, and soon sleep takes me.
I manage to sleep off and on throughout the entire flight. Jasper woke me a few times for food, and to check me over, but finally, we’re back in the UK. I have no idea how long I will be staying here for, or if I’m even able to get back to my place in Monaco. Life suddenly seems so complicated.
Getting off the plane, I expected to see Vincent or Vincent and Lars waiting for me, but the only person there is Rich. My heart soars upon seeing him, and if I could have, I would’ve run over to him, instead, I hobble over to him.
His arms wrap around me, and he just holds me close for a few minutes. Once I let go, all the emotion from the last few days flows out of me, and I cry into his shoulder. Huge wracking sobs.
“Shh, I got you,” Rich whispers into my ear, and he places a small kiss to the side of my head.
“Rich,” I get out between sobs.
“Let’s go home.”
Rich leads me over to a waiting car, opens the door, and helps me inside, before getting into the car on the other side.
“Where’s Jasper?”
“He’s following behind in another car,” Richard explains.
“Okay.” Relief fills me, and I relax into the seat.
“Should I be concerned about how worried you are over Jasper?” Rich asks, but I’m so preoccupied, that I don’t see the smile on his face at his teasing.
“Jasper was there for me, you weren’t.” I didn’t mean the words to come out as harsh as they sounded. I hadn’t wanted Rich there. I hadn’t wanted him to risk his own safety. So I have no idea where these words came from.
“I wanted to be,” Rich replies, and this time, I hear the hurt in his voice.
Fuck.
“Rich. I didn’t mean it like that. Sorry.” I start, but I have no idea on how to make this better. Everything in my life is spiralling out of control at the moment, and I have no idea what to do to stop it. I didn’t mean to hurt Richard, and yet, I did.
“Where are we headed?” I ask, trying to change the subject.
“Home,” Richard replies.
“Home?” I question, because home is in Monaco.
“My house, well, what I thought was our house,” Rich replies, but he has stopped looking at me.
It never occurred to me that home would now be the UK. With my husband. I had been so focused on what was going on in my professional life, I never considered my personal life. That could be the one part of my life that I could control.
Looking over to Rich, I see his hand lying flat on the seat next to me, wedding band on full display.
Mine was currently on a chain around my neck.
Jasper had gone back to get all my stuff one day, and asked me what I had wanted to do with the ring.
I couldn’t wear it on my finger, and I didn’t want to risk it getting lost. So, I asked Jasper to go and get me a chain, any chain, so I could wear it.
“You’re wearing your ring,” I say over to Rich, and I wish I could reach over and touch it.
“Yeah.”
“Jasper told me that Vincent knows about us,” I say, trying to make up for the shit a second ago.
“He does,” Rich confirms, but there is still that edge to his voice. An edge that I know I put there.
“Rich, please. I’m sorry.” I say again “I wasn’t thinking. I know why you weren’t there. You were following my orders. I’m just….”
But I’m not sure how I can explain how I’m feeling. Because I don’t know myself.
“I was going to defy you,” Rich starts. “My plan was to fly out anyway.”
“How come you didn’t?”
“Vincent hid my passport.”
And I know that I shouldn’t, but I burst out laughing, and when I look over, I can see the corners of Rich’s lips twitching.
“It’s not funny,” Rich says, in response to my laughter.
“It is,” I tell him. “But how was he able to get a hold of it?”
“Was it you or Jasper that called him, just after the crash?”
“Jasper,” I state.
“I should’ve guessed. You know that man is going to be the bane of our marriage.” But Rich is finally smiling, and I think we’re finally back on track after my fuck up.
“Yep.”
“Anyway,” Rich continues, “I was staying at Vincent’s, and he got Lars to go into my room, and find my passport.”
“I might need to thank Lars,” I say over to him.
“Oh, there’s more,” Rich adds. “Vincent and Lars let me tear my room apart looking for my passport. I was frantic, and only when I stopped looking, did Vincent ask, all casually, if I was ‘looking for this’, holding my passport.”
Laughter erupts from me, again, and it’s almost cathartic. I needed this. I need something to help me feel alive again, and I should have known that Rich would be the person that could do that for me.
“Sorry,” I reply, wishing I could wipe away the laughter tears running down my cheek, but Rich leans over, and wipes it with his thumb.
“No, you’re not,” he states, as he unbuckles his seat belt, shifts over to my side, and places a hand on my cheek before locking our lips together. “Don’t you ever frighten me like that again, do you hear?”
“I won’t,” I say to him as he goes back over to his side of the car. “How was Vincent, when he, you know, found out about us?” I say over to him when he’s settled, and all buckled back up.
“Surprised. I think he might have been a little disappointed. He was so sure that you were some famous actor,” Rich replies.
“And about us being married?”
“Oh, that is one tidbit of information I haven’t told him. I wanted to tell him when you were with me,” Rich explains.
“Oh, I can’t wait to see his face,” I tell him.
“You won’t have to wait long. He’s at the house.” Rich smiles at me, and now I can’t wait to get home.
Ten minutes later we are pulling up to Richard’s house. As the gates slowly open, I see Vincent’s car in the driveway, and I feel this frisson of excitement. I missed seeing Vincent’s reaction to me being the boyfriend, but I get to experience this.
“Vin,” Rich shouts, as we enter.
“Living area,” Vincent shouts back.
Rich helps me into the living room, and I spot Vincent and Lars sitting next to each other. Vincent’s arm is draped over Lars’s shoulder, but the moment he sees us, he moves his arm, and sits forward.
“So, this is the boyfriend?” Vincent asks.
“Boyfriend?” Rich starts. “This isn’t my boyfriend.”
A look of confusion flashes across Vincent’s face until Rich states, “this is my husband.”
And the shock on Vincent’s face is something I will treasure forever.