Chapter 5 – Otis
Jasper isn’t reacting. Fuck. Had I got this completely wrong? When Jasper raised his hand to touch my face, I took that as a sign that he might have feelings too. But Jasper is doing nothing.
After seeing Jasper over the weekend I knew that I had to make a move.
I needed to figure out if what I was feeling was genuine.
There was no mistaking the jealousy I felt when I first saw Jasper with Marcus.
That there was just the proof I needed. I just needed some alone time with him.
I spent most of yesterday trying to figure out a way.
Then Daniel had come to the rescue, he had called and apologised and explained he had been detained with his family, so he wouldn’t be back to HQ anytime soon.
That was my in with Jasper. I needed him to agree to a training session with me.
Working with him had been so good. I think I caught him staring a few times, too.
It was perfect. Then the session was over and I needed to make my move.
After Marcus had told me that Jasper was a Dom, I had done a little bit of research, and I knew that calling them ‘Sir’ was often used when addressing a Dom.
But now I’m thinking that I have read everything completely wrong. I thought that Jasper would kiss me back, but nope. Shit, I need to stop this and apologise. Fuck, I hope this doesn’t make it awkward.
Breaking apart, I step back. “Shit, sorry,” I tell him, avoiding looking at him.
“Otis,” Jasper mumbles, but I don’t look at him. I don’t want to see the look on his face. I can’t believe how fucking wrong I got this.
“Sorry,” I say again, and try to take another step back.
“Otis.” Jasper’s tone had completely changed. There is a demanding edge that I have never heard before, making me stop, and I can’t help but look up at him.
Jasper is staring at me. His eyes wide, but I can’t read the emotion on his face.
God, I hope that it’s not disgust. He must just see me as the straight guy.
Which I was, but that kiss, even if one sided, was nothing like anything I had before.
Jasper’s lips were firmer than a woman’s, and I’m sure if they had kissed me back that it would have felt amazing.
“Jasper,” I start again. “I’m sorry.”
“Quiet,” Jasper demands, and I close my mouth before I say anything more, but fuck, that voice is sexy.
Jasper just keeps looking at me. Staring. I want to talk but I don’t. The way he said quiet makes me think he doesn’t need to hear my voice at the moment. Maybe I should just leave. He only told me to be quiet, not move.
Taking another step away, I turn and try to leave the gym, but Jasper’s hand shoots out and grabs me by the wrist. His grasp is firm, almost painful, yet not. There is just enough pressure to stop me.
“Jasper,” I say, wondering what the fuck is going on.
“I told you to be quiet,” Jasper states, and suddenly I’m being pulled towards him and he has shifted so that it’s my back up against the wall.
I go to open my mouth to say something, which Jasper spots and shakes his head at me, and so I close my mouth. The next thing I know he’s got a hold of my other hand and is pulling both hands above my head.
What the…
Before I can even comprehend what is going on, Jasper has both my hands held in place with one of his above my head, and I am pinned. Jasper still hasn’t said anything. He just keeps looking at me. Then he licks his lips. Fuck.
It feels like it’s almost in slow motion, but it’s not.
Jasper leans forward and connects his lips with mine, and it takes a nano second for my brain to register, Jasper is kissing me, for fuck’s sake kiss him back.
I go to move my arms, to place them around Jasper, and pull him closer.
I have no idea how, but Jasper just increases his hold.
Fuck, it’s hot. Jasper has complete control of this situation.
I want, hell I need to deepen this kiss.
But I don’t have control, Jasper does, and I can only hope that he needs more.
Then Jasper shifts. His body is flush against my own, and I feel his tongue run along the seam of my lips and open gladly for him.
Our tongues begin to dance together, and God it’s like nothing I have ever felt before.
I can feel his stubble against my chin, so there is no mistaking this is a man.
A part of me always wondered if maybe the fantasy would be better.
That in fact I didn’t want to be kissed by Jasper.
That what I was feeling wasn’t attraction.
But oh, this is better than anything I could’ve ever fantasised about.
This is everything, and more. I can feel Jasper getting hard against me.
Something that never happened in my fantasy.
I’ve never thought about another man’s dick before, but now I want to see Jasper’s. Feel the weight of it in my hand.
A moan falls from my lips at the thought, and suddenly Jasper breaks the kiss, lets go of my hands and jumps back like I have scolded him. Both of us are breathing hard, but I feel the loss instantly. I want Jasper back in front of me. Kissing me.
“Jasper,” I whisper, needing him to say something to me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he races out of the gym, without giving me a backward glance.
Fuck, that can’t be good. Did I do something wrong? From the way he was getting hard I thought he was enjoying it as much as me. I need to talk to him.
Grabbing my water bottle, I leave the gym, trying to figure out where Jasper might have gone. Maybe the showers to wash after the session. But when I get into the hallway I spot Jasper further ahead of me, with Marcus.
Marcus looks up at me, gives me a smile before turning to Jasper and whispering something. Jasper nods his head and turns and walks away. Never looking back over to me.
“Jasper,” I start, and speed up to try and catch him.
“Otis.” Marcus moves in front of me.
“Sorry Marcus, I really need to talk to Jasper,” I start, and try to step around him.
“No Otis, you don’t,” Marcus starts.
“I do, please let me get past.”
“Otis.” Marcus’s tone has changed, and it stops me from trying to get around him. It sounds like Jasper’s in the gym. Is this their Dom voice? Marcus is stern but Jasper’s, well Jasper made me stop and listen to him.
“Marcus,” I try again.
“No, Otis. Trust me. You have to let him go.”
“What? No. I need to talk to him,” I say.
I turn to look around for Jasper and see him leaving through the main entrance of HQ. Shit. This isn’t good. We need to talk. We need to figure out where we go from here. I need to figure out how the hell to get him to kiss me like that again.
“Otis,” Marcus starts again. “Please let him go.”
“You know.” Turning to Marcus, he knows that we just kissed, but there is something else that he isn’t telling me. Why the hell has Jasper just told Marcus that we kissed? That is private between Jasper and me.
“He told me that something happened in the gym,” Marcus confirms.
“Which is none of your fucking business,” I spit back, with more venom than I intended, but I’m not going to take the words back.
“Otis.”
“Will you stop saying my name? I need to talk to Jasper,” I tell him.
“No, you really don’t. I think that it might be best if you stay away from Jasper for a while,” Marcus adds.
“Actually,” I tell him. “Staying away from Jasper is the last thing that I want to do.”
Marcus just keeps staring at me, not saying anything more, but still not letting me pass. But what would be the point now? Jasper would be long gone out of the car park. God, I wish I had his number.
“Marcus, give me his number,” I demand.
“That isn’t going to happen,” Marcus states, which considering the way Marcus has been acting, is not surprising.
“Marcus, please,” I beg.
“Sorry. I can’t,” Marcus adds.
I need to get his number. There is no way Marcus is going to give it to me, and I want to kick myself that over all these months I never got up the courage to ask for it.
“Fine,” I reply, when everything is far from fine.
“Otis,” Marcus says my Goddamn name again.
“What?” I spit back at him.
“Are you straight?” Marcus asks, but his tone is gentler now.
“I don’t know,” I reply honestly, and looking over my shoulder back at the gym, I turn back to Marcus. “But I don’t think I’m as straight as I thought.”
“I think you need to work that out before talking to Jasper,” Marcus adds.
“But it’s Jasper,” I start. “He is…” but how do I finish that sentence? He is what? He is making me question everything. My life, my sexuality.
“Jasper is special,” Marcus confirms.
“Why do I have a feeling there is a but with that sentiment?”
“Because there is.”
“You fancy him. That’s why you don’t want me to talk to him. You want him for yourself,” I demand. So annoyed that I didn’t push him out of the way when I had the chance.
“Otis, stop it. You know that I’m a Dom, and so is Jasper. We are not compatible.”
“That’s not an answer.” Because what a fucking lame excuse is that.
“Jesus Christ, Otis. I don’t fancy Jasper. He is just a friend.”
“Then give me his Goddamn number so I can talk to him,” I demand.
“Yeah, that is still not going to happen,” Marcus adds.
There is no point in continuing this conversation. Marcus isn’t going to help me, which even though it’s fucking annoying, I can’t help but feel it’s commendable as a friend. He is loyal. Hopefully we can still be friends.
“I need to go shower,” I tell him.
“I’m here if you need to talk. I’m guessing your emotions are all over the place.”
“The only person I want to talk to about my emotions at this moment just ran out the door,” I tell him.
“Can I ask you one more thing before you go?” Marcus asks, and I nod my head in agreement. “How was it?” and I know that he means the kiss.
“Everything,” I tell him truthfully, which makes Marcus smile.