Chapter 9 I’d Date Me #3
She leans in and kisses me on the lips. “All I’m asking from you is to try, and I will too. All we can do is our best.”
“But what if my best isn’t enough and you leave me?” I scratch the back of my neck, feeling uncomfortable. She’s had such an impact on me in such a short time. I can only imagine how much better my life would be with her in it. But will I bring value to her life too?
“Don’t be negative and think of the what-ifs. It’s hard not to, but it won’t do us any favors. I just want us to work on ourselves and grow together. If we come to the conclusion it wasn’t meant to be, then we’ll deal with it. Now I just want to be happy because you make me happy.”
All the negative thoughts fade, and I smile. Fuck, she’s amazing.
She puts a finger to the tip of my nose and boops it and giggles. “You’re so handsome when you smile.”
I’m slightly offended. I quirk a brow at her and smirk. “So I’m not handsome all the time?” I know I’m good-looking, but I have this need to hear it from her, because how she feels about me matters.
She rolls her eyes, so I tickle her. She giggles. “I told you, you are a god. Is that compliment not enough? What else do you need? Would you like me to go into detail?”
I like where this conversation is going. “Why the hell not? Keep going . . .” I’m keen to hear about what she likes about me.
She gives me a sassy grin. “Where should I start? How about your model-like face?” She runs a finger along my jaw. “Or this sharp jawbone.” She shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe it’s the luscious hair or the baby-blue eyes that I get so caught up in.”
My cheeks hurt from smiling so damn widely. I’m in my element. She runs her fingers over my abs, and my dick stirs. I’m lapping up the compliments.
“Maybe it’s your godlike body with the chiseled chest and eight-pack, or could it be that massive dick you just know how to use so well?”
I’m rock-hard for her. I groan. She knows she’s riling me up, the little devil, but I’d beg for this woman. I’d get on my knees and fucking beg for her, but I sit up a little straighter. I also need to get my shit together and prove myself to her, but she’s not playing fair.
“You can’t talk about my dick like that.
I’m trying to be good for you.” I sound whiny, but fuck.
Since I’ve been in the MC, I’ve never had to restrain myself from a woman.
It’s a little hot, I’m not gonna lie, but control isn’t my strong suit.
She knows this. Does she want to fuck, or is she winding me up?
She’s all smiles.
“You’re enjoying this?” I ask her. “Torturing me? I thought you were this really nice person. Next you’ll want me to buy a whip for you to use on me.” I think I’d dig anything she was into, to be honest.
She laughs so hard that her shoulders are shaking and her face turns bright red.
I wait till she starts gasping for air. My eyes bug out at her.
“Please remember to breathe,” I say, because it looks like it’s a bit of a struggle and I’m getting slightly worried, but that only makes her laugh harder.
When she finally calms down, she says, “You’re so funny. I’m thoroughly enjoying seeing you squirm.”
“I guess I’m buying the whip then,” I declare.
“All jokes aside, I could never hurt you. I’d feel terrible. No judgment to people who are into whips and that sort of thing—I just could never.” She winces.
I hope she doesn’t emotionally wreck me, because I haven’t been hurt since my dad left, and look how much that fucked me up. I don’t say anything because my mental health is not her responsibility and I’m man enough to know that, but she’s helping me more than she’ll ever know.
“I’m aware you couldn’t do the whips,” I smirk, trying to hold in a chuckle. “But I’m just putting it out there . . . there isn’t much I’d say no to with you.”
Rose playfully elbows me. “You’re terrible.”
I put my hands up. “If you ever want to do kinky shit, I’m just saying I’m down for it.”
She raises a brow. “I have no doubt you’d be down for it.”
I think that was supposed to be a dig, but I’m taking it as a compliment.
“I blame you. Sexy-as-fuck cougar, I’m down for whenever you are ready for sex again.
” I look down at my lap. “I’m hard now for you.
Hell, I’m always hard. Sashaying those sexy hips around, showing off those beautiful tits in your shirt.
Wearing my clothes . . .” I grab some of her hair again and take a whiff. “Smelling all good. I’m only human.”
She looks thoroughly amused. “Well, thank you for informing me. I’ll take that into consideration. That I’m just too hot to handle.”
She’s joking, but I’m serious. “No, I mean it.”
Her smile fades, and I can see her thoughts have turned bad.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you. I see it in your eyes when you look at me, and I hear it in your voice.
I know you mean every word. It’s just that I’ve never felt desirable.
It makes me so happy that you feel that way,” she says, then gives me a small smile.
“I guess I just need to learn to love myself too.”
“How could you not love yourself? You’re a fucking wet dream.” I add a cheeky wink, then decide to add humor. I straighten my back and push my chest out. “Self-love is looking into the mirror and saying, ‘Wow, I’d date me.’ ” Then I pretend to kiss my bulging bicep.
The bedroom door flies open. Rose gasps; I freeze, thinking, What the fuck? Axle’s loud fucking laugh comes tearing through the room, echoing off the walls. I just know that laugh will torment me in my sleep.
His grin is stretching wide. “I’m digging this motivational speech. What was it again?” His hand goes to his chin, but his eyes are delighted. “I’d date me,” he says in the girliest voice possible, then laughs.
“Oh fuck,” I murmur to myself.
Rose is chuckling at him. I can’t believe Axle heard that. I just wanted to see her smile and laugh again, so I said the first thing that came to mind.
She looks at Axle. “Be nice to him—he’s a good guy who’s just trying to make me smile.”
“Smile?” he asks with a wide-ass grin. “How did you not burst out in laughter?”
I release a huge sigh. My ego is bruised.
“Oh, ease up, buttercup,” Axle says to me. “I never knew you were funny. It’s good to see you loosen up. Even if you sound like an utter douchebag.”
Rose slams her lips together as if trying not to laugh. I stand to force him out of the room. He hightails it, but I hear his evil laughter all the way down the hallway.
I groan. “He’ll never let me live that down. I’m sure when I die it will be on my headstone.”
“You guys call us women dramatic.” She adds a little eyeroll for good measure. “He heard you make a joke. It’s not as bad as you think it is.” She’s clearly not hearing me.
“I’ve destroyed my reputation. I’m no longer going to be seen as a man who can handle himself. All Axle will hear when he sees me is me bragging, saying, ‘I’d date me.’ ” My head falls back.
She moves away from me, making me pout even more, but she gets under the blanket and pats the bed beside her. She doesn’t have to ask me twice, so I get under the blanket and shuffle closer to her.
“Do you need a big cuddle?” she asks as though she’s speaking to a baby.
Hey, I’ll take anything. “I sure do,” I say, loud and proud.
She giggles and shuffles close to me and rests her head on my chest, wrapping her arm firmly around me. This right here . . . is perfect. I can’t imagine any other feeling being better than this.
“You have a big heart, Rage, but if you haven’t noticed, your friends just want to see you happy. Even the sweet butts do. This image you’ve tried so hard to project to people . . . you really don’t need to.”
Her words hit me like a freight train, but she’s not done.
“People like you because you’re a great guy, but you’ve already proved yourself.
I think perhaps you haven’t let the MC see the real you yet.
You should be able to be silly and joke around with friends because you feel safe with them.
They’re already your family, and just seeing Axle’s reaction—he loved that he found you to be funny. ”
I’m speechless. What the fuck do I say to someone who knows me better than myself? “Are you a mind reader or something?” I finally manage to say. My voice is rough but laced with humor.
She chuckles. “Just an observation.”
“A few years ago, I was a prospect for the club. I had to work to prove myself to be able to get a place in the MC. I guess I’ve never stopped trying.”
“That’s what I’m saying. You’ve proved yourself.
You’ve built strong relationships with people you now see as family.
You’ve earned your place—now enjoy it. Don’t stress so much.
You’re so much more than just this angry young man who’s a good fighter.
You’re a friend, and from what I’ve seen, that means something here.
You’re lucky you have such good friends . . . I’m jealous.”
I snort. “Yeah, right.”
“No, I am.”
Heck, she sounds serious.
“You’re so lucky to have found a place with people who love and care for you and treat you right. I’ve never had a friend like that. Not even one . . .” She sounds sad, and I feel bad for her because she’s such a good person.
“Yes, you have.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, sounding confused.
I grin. “You have me, and I’ll treat you right.”
She snuggles into me. “Yes, I am very lucky I found you.”
As I said, she’s fucking perfect.