Chapter Nine
Serenity
“I’m going to drop you at your car. It’s at the Trough. You can follow me over to Rage’s.”
“How do you know I won’t head straight for the interstate?”
They’ve been moving my car all over the fucking place, but it looks like they’re finally going to let me drive it.
He just laughs. “If you were going to run, you would have already tried. I think you’re starting to like us.”
“I am not.”
The smile he flashes has me turning away from him.
“I overheard someone say Rage’s ex had overdosed. Is she okay?” I ask. I don’t really care about the woman, but I’d rather talk about anything other than my feelings for these men.
“His ex?”
“Yeah, the little girl’s mother.”
“Oh, that’s not his ex. Janet is his mom. She’s dead.”
My eyebrows shoot straight to my hairline.
“Rage moved out here and started this chapter to be closer to her. Well not her, but his sister.”
My heart begins to feel like it’s pumping sludge. “He told me he couldn’t go inside and check on her.”
“That’s because his mom got a restraining order on him. She didn’t like it that he sent his stepdad packing, and she really didn’t like him flushing her shit. She told the cops he hit her, but the black eye she was sporting came from her husband.”
“How awful to have the system that’s supposed to be protecting his sister used against him.”
“It’s a fucking shame. That little girl didn’t have to suffer like that. Rage has been on their asses for a long, long time.”
“How old is she?”
“Three.”
My heart stops. “Three? But she’s so tiny.”
“Yeah, because the bitch never fed her.” Cole slams his fist into the steering wheel. “Who knows what that poor baby has been through.”
“Maybe they’ll listen to him now.” But as the words leave my mouth, even I don’t believe them.
“The worker is kissing his ass at the moment because she knows she fucked up big time. She got him emergency custody, but being a single dude in a motorcycle club …” He pauses to shake his head. “I don’t know. He’s got a long road ahead of him.”
I settle back in my seat, my mind playing over my own childhood.
The drama, the back and forth between my mom and dad.
He tried to get custody of my brother and me, but like Rage all he was met with were restraining orders and a depleted bank account from all of the court battles.
He never was successful at pulling us out of the black hole that orbits my mother.
Eventually he gave up and moved on, starting a new family.
“Are you good to drive? I can have someone drop your car by later.”
“No, I’m good,” I say as we pull up to the Trough. “What’s going on here?”
The lot is full of people, and they’re loading stuff onto a trailer.
Cole parks and sits back in his seat, looking around. He chuckles sadly. “God damn, this reminds me of home,” he says to himself. “The club is rallying.”
Two guys walk in front of us carrying a box with a picture of a toddler bed on the front.
“They’re making sure Rage and Mila have everything they need.”
My gaze wanders the lot as more and more people show up, each depositing something inside the trailer.
Cub jogs over to us. Cole rolls down his window to talk to him. “Hey, you got a key to Rage’s so I can drop this stuff off later?”
“Yeah, I’m taking Serenity over there now. I’ll wait until you get there and help you unload.”
Cub’s eyes slide my direction. “Heard you were the one that went in for Mila. That took some guts going in blind like that.”
“There was a kid inside. There was no other choice.”
He and Cole exchange a look and then smile at each other.
“I’ll see you out there, man,” Cub says, knocking on the side of the truck.
Cole hands me my keys. “You’ll follow?”
“I said I would, didn’t I?” I roll my eyes at him dramatically before getting out.
His laugh trails me as I drop into the seat of my car. I take a deep breath and let my eyes take in all of the people here to support Rage and his baby sister. It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. I mean, he hasn’t even had custody for a day and already they are supporting him.
My eyes fill with tears as I start my car. I swipe them away. Even though the past twenty-four hours have been complete chaos, it doesn’t feel crazy and out of control. It’s strange, and I don’t know if I trust it.
It takes about twenty minutes to get to Rage’s place.
I’m about to get out of my car when a giant dog comes running out from the back side of the house. “Holy shit,” I whisper under my breath.
Cole doesn’t seem worried, though. He gets out of his truck without hesitation. The dog slowly approaches him, but when he gets a whiff of the man, his tail starts wagging.
I slowly release the breath I was holding.
Both Cole and the dog head in my direction. Ain’t no way I’m getting out of the car with that beast walking around freely. I start shaking my head when Cole reaches for my door handle. I grab onto it from the inside, holding it closed.
“Come on,” he says, jerking it out of my hand. “He isn’t going to bite.”
“That’s what every dog owner says right before someone gets bit.”
“This motherfucker is the best trained dog I’ve ever seen,” Cole assures me. “Sit, Peanut,” he tells him.
The dog instantly sits, but he continues to sniff the air. He’s curious about me.
“This is Peanut?” I ask, my mouth falling open. “I thought it was going to be a little dog.”
Cole laughs, reaching in to pull me out. The dog doesn’t move, but his nose is working overtime.
“Come here, boy.”
“No …” I begin to say, trying to pull away.
Peanut trots up to me slowly. He does a thorough job of sniffing me from my feet all the way up my thighs while I stare at the sky, waiting for him to take a big chunk out of my leg.
“This is Serenity,” he tells the dog. “Serenity, this is Peanut. He’s a cane corso. Once he falls in love with you, you’ll never have to worry about anybody fucking with you ever again.”
Peanut’s snout nudges my hand, and I slowly let my head fall to look at him.
He squints up at me with the prettiest golden eyes I’ve ever seen, and his fur is black as night.
The dog looks a lot like his owner. He continues to push at my hand, so I give in and begin to give him scratches behind his ear.
“See, nothing to be afraid of.”
“Yeah, right,” I say, but I am feeling a bit better.
Cole grabs my bags out of the backseat.
Who packed up my belongings from the Inn?
“This dog has better discernment than any human. He can spot a rotten egg a mile away.” He starts walking toward the house.
The dog trots beside me as I follow close behind Cole.
Rage’s home has a giant front porch. I spin in a circle while I wait for him to unlock the door. My heart skips a beat at the view. It’s incredible.
“Rage lives here alone?” I ask when I step inside.
“Him and the dog.” Cole tosses the keys on the counter.
“It’s so …” I glance around, finding it hard to believe a man lives here by himself.
“Clean?” Cole chuckles sadly. “You saw his mom’s place. He grew up in the same shit.”
He doesn’t have to say more. I get it. I’ve done the same thing. Whatever my mom’s life was like, I’ve tried to live opposite of that.
Cole starts to walk through the house. “Rage said to set you up in his guest room.”
“He has a guest room?”
The farther we merge into his space, the more it blows my mind how calm Rage’s home feels. It’s warm and cozy with a lot of natural-colored tones. When I follow Cole into where I’ll be staying, I stop dead in my tracks.
“Man, you don’t look so good.” He sets my stuff on the floor and then turns the bedding down. “Go get in the shower. The bathroom is right there.” He nods toward a door on the other side of the room. “I’ll get you set up in here.”
“Yeah, a shower sounds great,” I say, grabbing a change of clothes and my toiletries. I pause to look at the painting hanging over the bed.
When I get in the bathroom, I stare at my reflection. Oh my god. The shock of my short hair combined with the mess on the front of my shirt is like looking at a younger version of myself.
I reach in my pocket and pull out the little duck I stole from the Cage. Technically it was mine to break, but I didn’t want to destroy him. I wanted to find him a new pond.
My heart completely stopped when I saw the painting on the wall over the bed. It’s two people sitting side by side on a dock watching ducks fly over a lake. I know it’s a stretch, but damn if it doesn’t feel like a sign.
I’ve never felt this way before. A feeling of hope has settled in my heart. That I’ll finally get away from the mess that is my life. That I’ll be safe. I don’t know how that will look, but I feel it.
I remember standing in the bathroom at twelve years old praying for CPS to come take me away, but that wasn’t always the case. In the beginning, my only prayer was that my mom would learn from the mistakes she made. I just wanted her to be a good mom.
But the times I did pray to be taken away, I dreamed of a home like this.
I’m not na?ve, though. Just because it’s a clean environment doesn’t mean it’s a good home.
It’s the humans who reside inside that make all the difference.
I have no idea what it feels like when Rage is here. The atmosphere might change completely.
I take a few minutes to study my reflection, playing the past twenty-four hours over and over again in my mind. What if I hadn’t been with Rage today? I cover my mouth, suddenly feeling sick.
Somehow I manage to get in the shower without throwing up, and by the time I get out I’m feeling a little better. Cole is nowhere in sight. I glance around the room, finding all of the things from my car around me. How long does he think I’m going to be here?
After I get dressed, I head out to search for him and almost trip over the giant dog lying in front of my doorway.
“Oh, hey, Peanut,” I say, trying not to take a step back when he stands.