Chapter Twelve #2
I try to focus on Mila as I gather what she’ll need for her bath. She’s sitting on the floor, studying the mermaid I placed in her hands, but my mind keeps going back to the thought of Rage as a kid. Did he grow up with a different version of the woman I saw lying on the couch in her own vomit?
Either way, it’s heartbreaking.
He’s always so calm, but there is a darkness that lingers beneath the surface. He’s learned to hide it. I know, because I see the same thing when I look in the mirror. It wasn’t born there. It was placed there by the demons that attached themselves to us when we were just children.
Maybe that’s why they call him Rage. Or is it because of his business name? Or have people seen true rage from this man? I shiver just thinking about it. I glance down at the little girl on the floor. Maybe I should stay until I’m sure of who he is. For her sake.
I’ve never felt an icky vibe from him, but I don’t trust him fully either. He’s basically been holding me against my will. I guess I could have gotten away yesterday, but … ugh, I’m so confused.
I’ve never felt so untethered in the world as I do right now. Everything feels like it’s shifting, and it’s unsettling beneath my feet. I have absolutely no vision of what tomorrow is going to bring, and that’s terrifying.
When I was living in chaos with my family, I always knew something bad was coming. At least it was predictable.
Mila looks up at me and holds out the doll. “Mermaid.”
I lower myself to my haunches and run my finger over the doll’s hair. “Should we go wash her pretty hair?”
She tries to hand it to me, and I push it close to her. “This is Mila’s doll, and this is Mila’s room.” I reach back and pat her mattress. “And this is Mila’s bed.”
Her hair is dark like her brother’s, and so are her eyes. They were dull just a few days ago, but today they are so much brighter and alert.
“And look at all these toys. They are all yours.”
“Mine,” she says, pushing to her feet to check out her new toy bin.
She hugs the mermaid to her chest as she picks through it. I walk over to the dresser and pull out some clothes for her.
“Are you ready to go take a bath with Miss Mermaid?” I ask.
Mila ignores me and continues digging through her toys.
I walk over and take her hand. “Mila, we need to give Miss Mermaid a bath, okay?”
She looks at the doll and then at me. When she doesn’t protest, I gently begin urging her toward the bathroom across the hall. Once inside, she sees the basket of bath toys I put in the tub for her yesterday.
I let her watch the water fill as I lay everything out on the counter.
By the time I turn around, she’s already undressed and crawled in the tub.
Her tiny ribs stick out sharply, and it makes my heart weep for her.
I pick up her discarded clothes, placing them in the hamper, and then I sit on the toilet lid to give her time to play.
Rage stands outside the door where she can’t see him. I give him a thumbs up. So far so good.
He nods before walking away.
After a few minutes, I get on my knees and show Mila how to wash the mermaid’s hair.
“See? Now it’s Mila’s turn,” I tell her.
She doesn’t seem to care that I’m dumping water over her head. She’s busy playing with her doll and the other toys the club bought for her.
I give her hair a good wash before putting as much conditioner in it as I can.
Slowly, starting at the ends, I comb upward until I reach her roots, then I move on to another small section.
Mila sits quietly while I work inch by inch.
Eventually the water cools, and I don’t want her to get too cold, so I decide to finish outside of the bath.
I’ve worked through about a third of her hair, but at least I’ve determined we don’t need to cut it. It’s just going to take a little time and patience.
As I’m drying her off, she reaches out and places both of her hands on my cheeks. “Are you Mila’s?” she asks, looking me directly in the eye.
It takes me by surprise. I’m not sure what to say. “Yeah, I’m Mila’s friend,” I tell her.
“Mine,” she says, hugging me tightly around the neck.
Rage chuckles from outside the door, and I roll my eyes.
“You know, you and your brother are awfully possessive,” I tell her.
I help her dry her mermaid, and then we move on to brushing her teeth. “You should make her a dentist appointment. I don’t see any cavities, but I think it would be a good idea to make sure,” I tell him, my gaze focused on polishing every one of her pearly whites.
“That’s a good idea,” he agrees. His boots thud down the hall as he walks away.
Her little brows pull together just like Rage’s do when he’s thinking hard over something. She tips her head to look out the door.
“That’s Mila’s big brother,” I tell her. “He loves you very much.”
When we’re finished, I carry her from the room. “Let’s see if your brother has any movies to watch.”
Rage is in the kitchen on the phone when we get out to the living room, but Cole and Carson are lounging on the couch.
They both sit up straight when they see the two of us. “Hi, girls,” they both say in unison.
I laugh and Mila looks at me. “This is Cole and Carson. They’re silly, aren’t they?”
She hugs her doll to her chest.
“Who do you have there?” Cole asks.
Carson shoves him in the arm. “Who does she have? That’s Ariel.” He says it like everyone in the world should know the doll’s name. I didn’t until I saw it on the box yesterday when I opened it.
Mila giggles, and my heart squeezes. It’s the cutest laugh I’ve ever heard in my life.
“I can’t believe you know the doll’s name,” Cole snips back at him.
“Hey, I did my fair share of babysitting back home. I’ve had tea with Ariel and all of the other princesses for that matter.”
Rage steps into the room, his gaze roaming over Mila and me before stopping on Carson. “If I were you, I wouldn’t admit that out loud.”
Carson relaxes into the couch. “Just you wait …” he says, pointing at Rage. “Soon you’ll know all their names. Ain’t nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Whatever. Is the trailer clear?” Rage asks them.
“Yeah. They got it taped off, but no one is out there.”
“Where is …” He looks at his sister, who is once again hiding her face. He turns back to the guys.
Cole doesn’t need him to explain further. “He’s behind bars. They got him on a bunch of charges from drug possession all the way up to child endangerment. He also had an outstanding warrant over in Teton County.”
“Good. I want to run over there tonight. I’ll need someone to stay here and keep an eye on things while I’m out.”
“We got you, brother,” they both say in unison.
Mila lifts her head at this. She looks at me. “Mila’s brother.” She points at her own chest.
I give her a big smile. “That’s right. He’s your brother.”
“Oh, no,” Cole teases her. “That’s my brother.”
She giggles and they go back and forth, fighting over Rage. He stands there with a scowl on his face, but he’s not fooling me. I see the lines ease on his forehead.
He takes a step toward us, ending the game between Cole and his baby sister. She tucks her face against my neck.
I rub her back, watching his normal scowl turn into a frown. “She just needs time,” I say, encouraging him not to give up.
He takes a deep breath and then nods for Cole to follow him down the hall toward the back of the house.
“Mila and I were just going to try to find a movie to watch while I work on detangling her hair. Do you know how to turn on the television?” I ask Carson.
Carson begins pushing buttons on the remote. I sit down beside him and place Mila on my lap so I can comb through her hair.
“That one,” Mila says, pointing at the television.
“Fu … dge yeah,” Carson says, catching his bad language. “All this talking about mermaids makes me want to watch one,” he tells her.
She looks at the doll and then back at the television, comparing the image on the screen to the one in her hands. It makes me wonder if Mila’s had many toys. I didn’t really notice when I grabbed her; I was so focused on making sure she was alive and then safe.
“What are they doing back there?” I ask Carson.
He shrugs. “I think Rage is rearranging his bedroom.”
Mila falls asleep five minutes into the movie. It gives me ample time to pick through the knots in her hair.
After Cole and Carson leave, Rage begins to putter around, cleaning his already spotless house.
“Are you nervous about the visit this afternoon?” I ask, shifting Mila on my lap to a more comfortable position.
He walks over and lowers himself beside me to help.
“You got all the knots out,” he says, running his fingers over her soft hair.
“All it took was a little patience and a bottle of detangler.” I shake my hand out in front of me. “Gosh, I'm cramping up from holding the comb for so long.”
Rage places his rough hand over mine and begins to massage it. “I’m glad we didn’t have to cut it. Thank you.”
“My mom neglected brushing my hair, and when it would get too bad, she would cut it herself. Let me tell you, she was no hairdresser,” I joke. “She was worse than Tiffany, if you can believe that.”
“Was she better than me?” he asks. “I thought I did a bang-up job on Tiff.”
It makes me chuckle. “I didn’t mind when I didn’t understand, but the first time someone teased me …” I look away from him. “My … my first grade teacher taught me how to brush it so my mom wouldn’t cut it anymore.”
He continues to rub my hand. It’s warm and comforting. “She really likes you,” he tells me after checking his watch.
“I really like her too.”
Peanut’s ears perk up at the sound of a car in the driveway. “I’m going to go kennel him while they’re here. Stay where you’re at. I’ll answer the door.”
Rage makes quick work of it, coming back before they even get to the steps. He pauses in front of me. “Would you do anything for her?” he asks.
I drop a kiss to the top of Mila’s head. “Of course I would. She’s the sweetest baby.”
The knock on the door wakes Mila, and she curls into me as if I’ll protect her from whatever is coming … and I will.