Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Serenity
When Mila and I get inside, we find Rage hooking up the little television we brought over from the trailer. Mila eyes it suspiciously as I clear my throat, surprised he didn’t hear the three of us come in. Peanut sits at my feet, blocking me from moving any closer to Rage.
That’s weird.
“I think she filled the camera roll,” I finally say.
Rage jerks upright. “Shit, I didn’t hear you come in.” He looks Mila over and then directs his attention to me.
I take a step back. “Is everything okay?” I hug Mila a little closer. Something is wrong.
He visibly forces his muscles to relax. “Yeah, no, I’m just trying to get this thing set up for her.” He turns away from us.
“Which is it?” I ask.
“What do you mean?”
“Yes or no? Is everything okay or is it not?”
He hesitates before replying that all is well. He’s lying to me.
“I’m just going to get Mila cleaned up and then try to get her down for a nap. She seems a bit sleepy.”
“Sounds good.” He stops me before I walk out of the room. “There’s a family picnic over at the Trough tonight. I think it would be good for Mila to get to know everyone.”
I notice he doesn’t include me in that statement. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. “That’s a good idea. She needs to get familiar with the club.”
As I’m brushing Mila’s hair after getting her bath, I stare at the ring on my finger. Something has changed in the short time Mila and I were outside. Wizzard told him something that’s making him doubt my loyalty.
“Read books?” Mila asks.
“Yeah, we can read books. Do you want to pick one out?”
She hops from my lap and then we curl up in her bed together. I force myself to focus on reading, but in the back of my mind I begin to worry. An impending feeling of doom begins to slowly wrap itself around my soul.
When she falls asleep, I can’t bring myself to leave. I run my finger over her brow, watching her in her slumber. I’ve got a terrible feeling that Savage is coming for me.
My gaze bounces over the little girl next to me. If I have to give her up to save her I will, but man is it going to suck. She’s planted a seed of longing in my heart. I want to be a mom. I want to be her mom, but something tells me that isn’t possible.
I reluctantly leave her bed and head out to find Rage. I need to face whatever this is head on.
He’s sitting on a bar stool, watching a children’s movie in the kitchen.
“You got it set up,” I say, lowering myself in a chair behind him at the table.
“I did. Did you get Mila to sleep?”
“I did.”
We sit in silence as the movie continues to play, and I stare at his tense back.
“Something is wrong. I can feel it. If you’ve found out Savage is coming for me, I’ll go.”
“He wants our next shipment and you. If he doesn’t get what he wants, he’ll cause trouble before Mila’s hearing.”
I sit up straighter in my chair. “What are we going to do?”
He turns and pins his cold eyes on mine. “We aren’t going to do anything.”
My head snaps back at the harshness of his tone. “Okay. Rage, I’m sorry. I told you my staying here would cause problems. I’ll leave.”
“And you think that will help?”
“Yes, I do. I’m responsible for my brother’s debt. Not you and especially not Mila.”
“So, you’ll fuck them all to cover what he owes?”
His eyes are black, and right now I don’t think I like him very much. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”
He looks away. “You haven’t said much about your brother.”
“It’s been a few years since I’ve seen him.” My words fall flat because I’m not sure what he wants to hear. What does my brother have to do with this? He’s gone. Am I angry at him? Absolutely, but unfortunately I inherited his problems, and I can’t do anything about it.
“How did he die?” he asks.
“I … I don’t know.”
“Then how do you know he’s dead?”
“My mother called the store and told my boss, Mr. Johnson.”
A sound comes from the back of his throat, and I’m not sure what to make of it. Does he not believe me?
“I’ll go pack my things.”
We stand abruptly at the same time, and Rage takes a large step toward me. Peanut gets in between us and growls, showing all of his teeth.
Rage looks at the dog and then me. Holy shit. What the fuck is going on?
“No,” Rage says, backing away from us.
“No?”
“I said no,” he says a bit more calmly.
“Okay. I guess I’ll go lie down if you’re sure you don’t want me to leave.”
“I’m sure.”
Tears fill my eyes as I walk down the hall with Peanut at my side. What is Rage so angry about? He’s not even trying to hide his hostility toward me. Maybe this is the real him, or maybe he’s upset over having to deal with the Scorpions because of me.
I check on Mila one last time before lying down. My mind runs through a million scenarios as I stare at the ceiling.
A few hours later, he comes into the room and sits down beside me on the bed. “Did you get any sleep?”
“No.”
He runs his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry I was such a jerk earlier. I’m just so protective of Mila, and I don’t know what or who to trust right now.”
“I know you don’t know me very well, but your club has been in your life for a long time. You can trust them.”
His eyes bounce over my face. “I’m trying.”
“That’s all you can do. Is Mila still asleep?”
“She’s stirring. We should probably get ready to head over to the Trough. We’ll have supper there.”
“Okay. I’ll go get her ready.” I sit up, running my fingers through my short hair.
“I wish she wasn’t so scared of me,” he admits quietly.
My hands fall to my lap. “You know, I don’t think she’s that scared of you. She’s never been loved by anyone as much as you, and I think it’s just a little overwhelming for her.”
I push up from the bed and walk over to grab a sweater. The nights get a little chilly around here. “You know, she loved this little duck.” I point to the music box on top of the dresser. “Maybe you should give it to her.”
“You think she will like it?”
“She’ll love it.”
“But it’s yours.”
It makes me laugh lightly. I learned a long time ago that nothing is yours to keep. Besides, I would give my life for Mila. “It’s okay. She needs it more than I do.”
“But it reminded you of your brother.”
I shrug. “Someday maybe it will remind her of hers.”
Mila pushes our door open. She and Peanut stand side by side, staring at us. She has her little mermaid doll in tow.
“There you are, you sleepy head,” I say to her. “Are you getting hungry? We’re going to a party.”
Mila perks up at this bit of news. “A party?”
“Yes. Let’s get ready. We’ll need to find you a jacket in case it gets cold.” I scoop her up in my arms and gallop down the hall, making her giggle the whole way.
It doesn’t take us long to get out to the Trough, but as soon as we arrive I sense the tension between the men.
Cole places his arm around my shoulders as I watch Mila play with the other kids from the club. She instantly fit right in with them. I wish that CPS worker could see her right now. Mila’s not shy. She’s going to be a social butterfly. She’s just never had the chance to make friends.
“She’s so happy. It makes me happy too,” I tell him.
“You don’t look very happy,” he notes, tapping the end of my nose.
“Well, I am.” I laugh, wiping my eyes.
“Hey, everything will be okay. There are just some things we have to decide, but like my mama always says, everything works out the way it’s supposed to in the end.”
I watch as the officers of the club begin filtering inside. “You’re having a meeting about me, aren’t you?”
He sighs. “Like I said, I’m sure it will all work out.”
“I wish I had your confidence. I feel terrible for bringing my problems to your club’s door.”
Rage nods his head toward the building, letting Cole know to get his ass moving.
I bite my nails nervously after they disappear. Something tells me my family’s chaos has caught up to me once again.
My gaze roams over the sun that’s dancing just above the mountains in the distance. I don’t know why I thought it would be any different here in Cheyenne. Their troubles always find me.
Mila runs toward me with the biggest smile. “Mommy, look.” She leans back to show me what she has cupped in her hands. A lightening bug lights up between her palms. “It glows.”
She’s in a state of awe over the tiny creature, just like I am of her. She is so incredibly sweet, and she’s healing at a record pace. I’m so proud of her. She’s strong.
Shelly walks over to us. “The kids are all going for a walk down by the creek to look for frogs. Do you want to come with us, sweetie?”
Mila hops off my lap anxious to go with the other children. I stand too, but Shelly shakes her head. “I’ve got her. Why don’t you wait here for Rage?”
I look back at the building. “Oh, yeah. Are you sure?”
She takes Mila’s hand, and I feel panic rising up inside of me.
“We’ll be okay, won’t we?” she asks, and Mila nods.
I give her another hug. “Have fun. I’ll miss you,” I say, choking back tears.
Shelly pretends not to notice, and that should tell me everything I need to know. The Bastards are going to ask me to leave. It’s just a matter of how they do it.
I stand and watch them walk away with tears streaming down my face.
It’s only a matter of minutes before Cub steps up behind me. “Come with me.”
My heart sinks, but I follow him inside.
“Wait here,” he says before leaving me alone.
I glance around the empty room, slowly lowering myself into a chair at the table. A few seconds later, Carver walks in, pointedly locking the door behind him.
“Fancy meeting you here,” he says, dropping into the chair beside me.
He kicks his feet up on the table and relaxes back. When he pulls his knife from his pocket, I try to push my chair away from him, but he drops his feet to the floor and wraps an ankle around it, keeping me in place.
“Why so jumpy?” he asks, sitting forward.
“Where is Rage?”
He tsks. “You shouldn’t have taken advantage of my brother like you did. Now you’re left to deal with me.”