Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Serenity
“I’m okay. I’m okay,” I whisper to myself, hugging the second quilt I made to my chest.
The one my grandmother hadn’t finished is now complete and on my mom’s bed. I put it there earlier today. She had to have seen it, but she hasn’t said anything. I don’t know why I thought she would.
I guess it was a last-ditch effort to make a place for me in her heart.
I left my mother and Psycho playing cards in the kitchen a few hours ago.
I got tired of hearing her flirt with him, and at some point they’re going to get word as to what’s happened out at the old barn.
I know what’s coming, so I’ve pushed the dresser in front of the bedroom door.
It’s not very big. I doubt it will keep Psycho out for long.
The door handle jiggles and I jump up, giving the window one last try. It doesn’t budge.
I’m fucking trapped.
I hurry back under the covers before he manages to push the door open far enough to slip through.
“I’m okay. I’m okay,” I silently pray. I lie perfectly still as he begins to unbutton his pants. The second they are around his ankles, I jump to my feet, scampering across the dresser.
“Oh no you don’t,” he says, grabbing my foot as I dive across the threshold.
I begin kicking at him, but he doesn’t let go. We tumble to the floor outside of the room, and I begin to scream for my mother. Suddenly, I’m not my adult self anymore. I’m a desperate little girl.
“Mom! Mom, please help me!” I beg as he drags me down the hall and into my brother’s room.
The light spills out from under her bedroom door, and a shadow passes across it. Maybe this time she’ll save me. The door to her room swings open, and oh how my heart rejoices. She’s going to protect me!
“She tricked us!” she screams, holding out her phone so Psycho can see the message she’s received. “They’re gone. All gone. Silas is dead. My son is dead!”
“Pull yourself together and get back in your fucking room!” Psycho yells, glaring down at me with a level of hate I’ve never seen.
She stares at the two of us, unseeing, lost in her grief over her son.
He pulls his gun out from under his cut and points it at her. “I said get back in your room.”
Slowly, she backs away and closes the door behind her.
“Mom!” I yell half-heartedly as Psycho pulls me the rest of the way into my brother’s space.
He’s panting as he crawls over the top of me, reaching over my head to shove the door closed. “Cry all you want, but stop the fucking screaming. No one’s coming to save you.”
No. This is not happening. I belong to Rage.
I begin to fight him, and once again he seems to enjoy my fear, but he doesn’t much care for my anger.
“It was only a matter of time before Savage got himself and our crew killed. Lucky for me, I wasn’t dumb enough to fall for it,” he spits in my face as he pins me to the ground.
When his fist connects with my cheek, my body takes over for my mind. It goes limp, switching to survival mode. Sobs wrack my chest as he pulls my jeans down my legs.
It will be over soon. Just don’t think about it. As my brain scrambles to find a safe place to hide, a gunshot slices through the night.
We both freeze. Psycho stares down at me. The only sound is our breathing. He slowly backs away, reaching for the gun once again.
Suddenly, the door is kicked open from the other side. It barely misses my head. I cover my ears and roll to the side as the man standing over me fires, taking Psycho out with a single bullet to the neck.
I scramble to the corner of the room, curling into a ball. This is it. My time on earth is done. The cartel is here, and I know there’s no way they’ll let me live. If they do, I’m facing a fate worse than death.
“Serenity, it’s okay.”
I lift my head at the sound of my name. A giant of a man holds his hand out to me. “I’m Dan,” he begins to say, but I already know who he is. He looks just like his sons. I jump into his arms, letting him hug me tight.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. We got you now.”
I don’t know how or why. All I know is someone saved me this time.
“I don’t mean to rush you, but we need to get out of here. Do you need to grab anything?”
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I push away from him and hurry to the room I’ve been staying in, grabbing my quilt. I hug it to my chest and run back out to him.
“That’s it?”
“This is all I need.”
I notice a woman with long dark silver hair watching us from the doorway of my mother’s room. She has a gun hanging loosely from her hand. “Is she …”
“Don’t worry about her. She’ll be fine.”
He guides me outside, directing me to get in the passenger side of my car as he slides into the driver’s seat. Once we’re inside, he hands me my jeans. I quickly slide my legs into them as he turns around in the driveway.
We don’t get far before I notice an orange glow in the mirror. I turn in my seat to watch flames erupt from the windows of my brother’s home.
“You want some unsolicited advice?” the twin’s dad asks, breaking the silence.
“That’s the best kind, isn’t it?”
His deep chuckle calms me. “Don’t look back. What’s done is done.”
Slowly, I face the front windshield. “Sounds solid, but I don’t even know where I’m headed.”
“Well, you won’t find it back there.” He leans forward, turning on the radio. “It’s real nice in Nevada this time of year.”
Cole and Carson told me about their home. It sounds wonderful and, most importantly, safe.
“Is it quiet there?”
He chuckles again before answering. “Hell no.”
It makes me smile because he’s honest. “Nevada is one state I’ve never been to.”
“Well then, I think we just found ourselves a direction.”
Instead of heading north to Cheyenne, he drops down to Interstate 70. When we’re west of Denver, heading into the mountains, a group of bikers surround us.
My heart begins to race, and I sit up in my seat. Dan leans over and takes my hand. “It’s okay. They’re with me.”
I force my muscles to relax one by one as I reason with them. This is the twin’s family. I have nothing to be afraid of. Nothing is chasing me … not anymore.
You wouldn’t think that would sadden me, but it’s all I’ve ever known. It’s going to take me a minute to realize my family can’t find me ever again.
I don’t have to run or hide anymore.
The woman I saw earlier tonight is now riding behind a Skull. She throws up a peace sign as they pass, sliding in front of us to lead the way.
My mind drifts to the one and only time I rode behind Rage. My stomach does a little flip, and my brain scolds it. Not the time. I force my focus back to the present. “How did you find me?”
“The phone.”
“Oh yeah.”
“We were a little worried when he took you to his house. We weren’t expecting him to make you stay with him. We thought he might go through your shit and find it.”
This makes me laugh. “I wasn’t anticipating any of that either, but I knew he was too lazy to go through my stuff. My brother’s ego would never let him believe that I’d betray him.”
“If you had the phone, why didn’t you try to get in touch with Carson? Did you not have a chance?”
I turn away from him. “Honestly, I forgot I even had it.” A lump lodges in my throat.
The time at my brother’s took me out of the real world and thrust me right back into their lunacy. It took everything in me just to function. I felt like a child again, looking for any moment of peace I could find. Be that cooking or cleaning.
That’s why I spent the evenings peacefully sewing the two quilts.
I run my hand over the squares of soft material cut from Mila’s little clothes.
It was the only thing that got me through.
I think back to a conversation I had with Rage about them.
He told me sending them to her had been a waste of time because Mila never got to wear them.
It wasn’t a waste of time. Those clothes saved my sanity. They kept me grounded … connected.
My mom might have hated the sound of the sewing machine, but I loved it. It was like my grandmother was sitting beside me every night, guiding my hands while whispering to remain steady. For my Mila.
Shivers begin to wrack my body. “I’m … I’m not sure what’s happening,” I say, embarrassed that I can’t seem to control myself. When my fear rises, I begin to sob. Something is wrong with me.
“It’s the adrenaline. Your nervous system is regulating,” he tells me calmly. Big Dan pulls over and brushes his hand over the side of my face. “This will pass.”
He begins moving things around in my car, and before I register what’s happening, we’re on the road again.
But now I’m in the back seat, curled against the woman with long silver and black hair.
Her clothes smell of smoke, but the even beat of her heart along with the gentle rocking of the car begins to calm me.
“What I wouldn’t have given to have a mother like you,” I tell her, even though she’s a complete stranger. I guess I just want her to know how much this means to me.
She trails her fingers over my scalp, and it feels so good. My eyelids begin to grow heavy, but before I fall asleep, her breath brushes over my ear and she whispers, “You are the mother now.”
I don’t have the energy to dwell on her words, but I feel them embedding themselves in my heart.
I’m the mother now.