Chapter 32
Chapter Thirty-Two
Serenity
The candlelight reflects against the dark pools of his eyes as he slowly lets them wander across my body. His rough hands grasp around my waist and tug me close, encouraging me onto his lap.
His palms make their way around to the base of my spine slowly, then slide their way up. He grabs a fistful of my hair, and his mouth descends upon my neck. A flutter begins in my belly and erupts in my chest, sending shock waves all the way out to my fingers and the tips of my toes.
“That feels nice,” I rasp, never wanting him to stop.
His fingers tighten in my hair, and his mouth kisses a path to mine. “You are a goddess,” he praises, pulling back to look into my eyes. “Are you ready to be worshipped?”
“Well, what exactly does that entail?”
A slow grin tugs one side of his mouth higher than the other. “It’s better if I just show you.”
“Is that so?”
“It is.”
“Okay,” I say softly, letting him know I trust him.
He carefully shifts me to the side, kissing me the entire time he does. He then backs away, and takes his time removing his clothes.
I wouldn’t say I’m exactly calm about all of this, but I know what I want. His particular brand of chaos excites me.
When he’s down to his boxers, everything becomes very real. My eyes drift around the space, nervous to look directly at him as he loses them too. I remember the day I stood outside this very room, curious to know more about him. I never dreamed I would be in his bed one day.
“Look at me, Serenity,” he orders.
My eyes slide to his dark ones, and everything but him fades into the distance.
“Is this still what you want? It’s okay if you want to slow it down.”
“Life happens fast sometimes.”
He smiles at this.
I begin to crawl back on the mattress, and he follows. He lifts one of my feet from the bed, gently bringing it to his mouth. He kisses it lightly. There’s something about that act that makes me swoon.
He unabashedly lets his eyes drift between my thighs. “I don’t know how I’ve managed to wait this long,” he groans against my calf as his hand slides up my leg.
I inhale sharply when his fingertips touch me intimately. It’s the most vulnerable I’ve allowed myself to be in a very long time. Ten years, to be exact. But the way he holds my gaze turns my anxiety into excitement, and behind it lingers intense pleasure.
There’s something about him that makes me want to lay myself out on the bed like a damn buffet. I want to offer him everything.
I let my knees fall apart, and his brow pulls together in the scowl I’ve fallen in love with. It’s a good thing I’ve learned it has many other meanings besides anger.
He slowly moves up my body as his fingers continue to lightly tease. Rage stares down at me. I want to look away, but something tells me this will be so much better if I don’t. His palm begins to rock between my legs, but his face remains still as if he’s savoring every detail.
My hands brace around his biceps when his teasing becomes too much for me. I tense up, begging my body not to let go. Not yet. I want this moment to last forever because nothing has ever felt so fucking good.
His hand suddenly stops moving, his fingers still inside me. I ease my grip on his arms, feeling my pelvic muscles contract around him. I take a few shaky breaths, holding perfectly still.
He’s quiet, both inside and outside of the bedroom, but he’s being himself. He’s the most calm and present man I’ve ever met.
And he’s all mine.
My hips tip up on their own accord, and his eye twitches. Slowly, I begin to grind myself against his hand. When he doesn’t move with me, I begin to pout. “Rage, please,” I beg, needing him to be in control.
He leans close and whispers over my lips, “Be still.”
I obey immediately, and he smiles. He begins with slow, light touches, working me up more deliberately this time. He pushes his nose against mine. Then he takes his free hand and wraps it around my wrist, holding it against the pillow above my head.
My stomach clenches as he takes a strong lead, deepening the vulnerability I’m feeling.
“You are going to come hard, and I’m going to enjoy every second of watching you let go of this world.” As he says this his fingers curl, and his palm presses hard against me.
My knees snap around his waist, and I begin to buck against him.
“Oh, fuck,” I rasp over his lips. He refuses to let me look away.
There is nowhere for my orgasm to go; he’s pinned every possible escape route.
His hand tightens around my wrist, and his hip bone presses against mine, pinning me to the bed.
“Fucccck.” I press my head against the mattress and my eyes fall closed, but it doesn’t diminish his presence or that of the monstrous orgasm vibrating my entire being. When the waves begin to wane, a crazy euphoria begins to rush through my body.
His hand begins to move again, and slowly it pulls me away from that place. My heart begins to beat faster, and my breath comes out in short little pants. I open my eyes to find him staring not at me but at the space between us.
When he looks back at me, his pupils are dilated. He removes his hand from me to grab himself, bumping the tip of his cock against me.
“I want to be inside you,” he says, and I know it’s his way of asking permission. “Do you want me to wear protection?”
“No,” I answer quietly. “I’m on birth control.” I lift my hips, running his length over me.
His eyes fall closed, and when I do it again, he moans. The sound triggers a hunger, and I know he’s the only one who can satisfy it.
As if he hears my internal thoughts, he shifts his hips and begins to push into me. My mouth falls open, and I inhale sharply. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with anyone. It’s almost overwhelming.
He brushes his thumbs over my cheeks and slows the rocking of his hips. Did he sense my slight discomfort? I’m a little embarrassed, but he doesn’t draw attention to it. He just continues to stroke my face, waiting for me to get used to him … to this.
I think it’s the most considerate a man has ever been with me.
Rage kisses me again, and when my hunger begins to grow, I let him know by pulling him close. A moment ago it felt like it was too much, but now it’s not enough.
He pays attention to every cue, even my subconscious ones, and his kiss deepens as do his thrusts. I feel the control he’s kept over himself untether.
I slide my hands up his back, scratching my nails lightly over his skin. I pull my mouth from his to brush a kiss against the shell of his ear. “Don’t hold back,” I whisper.
He takes a moment to think about what I’ve said, and then he lifts his torso from mine, bracing his hands on each side of my head.
His gaze roams between us, enticing my eyes to follow.
His stomach muscles shift under his tanned skin as he begins to powerfully thrust into me, each one timed to perfection.
This is the sexiest sex I’ve ever had.
Suddenly everything becomes extremely heated, as if we’re being fused together. I wrap myself around him, wanting to smother myself in his scent, and it’s not only me who has seemed to have lost my inhibitions. His body is vibrating with need.
It’s not until I shatter in his arms, completely wrung out, that he allows himself to take pleasure in his own release. The way he looks at me as it happens sends a shiver of pleasure up my spine, and I find myself coming again.
“Fuck,” he says, letting his forehead fall against mine. He chuckles as we struggle to control our breathing. He places a soft, slow kiss to the corner of my mouth before meeting my eyes. “You are my serenity,” he says quietly, giving me the sweetest of smiles.
I trace my fingertip over his lips, staring deep into his eyes. “Does that mean you’re my rage?” I ask, content to sit here and look at his handsome face all day.
“I will be whatever you need me to be.”
He nudges his nose against mine a few times before kissing me, stirring the leftover embers of our intimacy. We make love all night, but eventually our energy wears thin. We decide to shower before going to sleep.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” he asks for the tenth time.
“I’m too tired to eat,” I say, rolling to him the second he lies beside me.
He seems a bit surprised at my quick affection, and maybe it’s because I drew such a hard line over his mattress the last time we slept in his bed together. He wraps his arm behind me and hugs me close, kissing the top of my head.
“Part of me doesn’t want to go to sleep. I don’t want to be away from you for that long,” I admit quietly.
“I feel the same,” he says, lightly trailing his fingers over my arm. “But I promise we’ll both still be here when we wake.”
It makes me smile against his skin. “I never saw this coming,” I say, running my fingers through the dusting of hair on his chest. “The first time I saw you, I thought you were angry with me.”
“Angry? I wasn’t anywhere close to that.”
I pop up on my elbow. “What were you feeling then?”
The same scowl lines erupt across his forehead. “I couldn’t believe someone like you had just walked into our bar.”
“Someone like me?”
“The atmosphere shifted when you walked in, and it felt good. I didn’t want you to leave, and when you did …” He shakes his head. “I followed, like a moth to a flame.”
“But then you found me popping pills.”
“When I saw you stuffing them in your mouth like a chipmuck squirreling nuts away for the winter, I knew I had to step in. There was no way I was going to let a light like yours get extinguished before it’s time.”
My eyes bounce over his face. Never in a million years would I have guessed those were the thoughts running through his head that day.
“I love you,” I tell him, laying my head back on his chest so he can’t see I’m crying.
“Te amo, mi serenidad.”
I’ve heard him speak warm sentiments to Mila in Spanish, and now he’s doing it to me. A warm feeling settles in my chest.
I think I’ve finally found my peace.