Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Alaina
W here is Tara? She’s been gone too long…
The tremors in my body forced me to curl up into a ball as I tried to keep my withdrawal symptoms at bay. I could not calm my body. I knew what was happening, but my brain could not comprehend it; the anxiety is overwhelming.
Every inhale felt like my lungs were being ripped out of my chest, and every exhale felt like I would vomit the contents of my stomach. All I wanted was Tara, and she’s been gone for over two hours.
Tara has been the only light in the darkness of my shitty life.
Things weren’t always like this for me. I had the picture perfect life; wealthy parents, white picket fence home, full ride scholarship to Alabama State University, the whole “growing up with the silver spoon” thing. My parents divorced when I was a freshman in high school, and my picture perfect family fell apart.
My dad ended up moving out of state, to “find himself again” and my mom remarried quickly, and moved my stepfather into my family home.
Losing my dad was detrimental to my mental health. He cut off all contact with my mom and I, refusing to be present in my life in any capacity. I was his only child, his only daughter, and he abandoned me.
On my high school graduation day, I walked to receive my diploma as valedictorian five minutes after being notified that my stepfather shot and killed my mother, then killed himself.
I was lost, alone, and turned to alcohol to cope. I didn’t want to feel anything anymore; no pain, no heartbreak, no loneliness. My mother left me two hundred thousand dollars in her will, but I quickly blew through it all in less than a year, desperate to find comfort in material things. By the time I turned nineteen, I was out of money, and lost my mother’s house, becoming homeless here in Omaha.
My addiction to heroin began when I found friendship with a group of homeless people in their early twenties that were also addicts. It’s been five years since it has completely consumed my life.
Now here I am, having withdrawals, relying on my girlfriend to get me a fix.
I still remember the day I met Tara. I was walking down the main street when I saw her. She stopped me in my tracks with how absolutely stunning she was; slim, but fit, with long, jet black hair, and sun kissed skin. Standing in front of the window of an electronics store, she was watching a news report about a burning house with a blank stare.
She had an energy about her… It’s so hard to explain, but I felt drawn to her, and I had to know her name. I approached her, nervous, making sure the sleeves of my hoodie covered my embarrassing track marks on my arms. As I approached her, she turned away. Then a homeless man we call “Dom” pulled her into an alley.
Right as I turned the corner to go down the alley, Tara had a knife shoved underneath his chin, and he slumped forward on his knees. She ripped it out and kicked him over before wiping the blade on his jeans.
I was stunned, scared, but still felt that pull towards her. We ended up talking and sharing a sandwich I had gotten from the soup kitchen.
She differs from anyone I’d ever met. Her lack of emotion and empathy was foreign to me as someone who thrives on connection and intimacy, but we needed each other. She was new to being homeless, and I needed companionship. I knew about her traumatic upbringing in the foster care system, and how psychiatrists and doctors kept studying her, using her as a guinea pig for medication and therapy; that had to be the reason for her…coldness.
I had convinced myself that I could help her feel again, help her embrace her emotional side. Our physical relationship took off, and it was amazing at first… But now… It’s very one sided. Most of the time she just takes what she needs, then avoids me. The fact that she’s a killer should have been a sign that I needed to stay away, but I couldn’t. I needed her, and was determined to help her feel love.
Yes, I know. Very much the “but I can fix them” thing.
Every moment Tara was gone, my anxiety grew.
My tears fell as I desperately tried to ride out the tremors and anxiety. My whole body was screaming in pain, and I couldn’t take much more.
It was a cool night, but I was burning up. I kicked off my blankets and curled up again in just a tank top and panties. It helped some, but it was temporary.
Just when I thought she’d never return, she did. She brushed my hair aside and her icy, bitter voice rang in my ears.
“Alaina,” Tara said coldly.
“T-Tara…”
“Sit up, I got it.”
I was so weak, but forced myself to sit up and prop myself up against a rolled up sleeping bag. My eyes met hers, and I tried to keep myself from falling back to the ground. I was in so much pain, and just needed her, needed my fix.
“Is this what you need, baby girl?” Tara asked, holding up a small baggie in my line of sight.
“Y-Yes…” I whimpered, reaching out a shaky hand towards the baggie.
“Show me how bad you want it, Alaina,” Tara ordered, removing her cross body bag, kicking off her slip on Vans, and peeling off her black skinny jeans.
Tara prepared a syringe from the little baggie of dope. My whole body was aching, screaming in pain, but I needed it so badly, and I’d do whatever she wanted me to for my high.
She placed the capped syringe down on the ground next to her jeans and sat next to me. I leaned in to kiss her deeply and she pulled my face into hers. I kissed her with every ounce of love and affection I could muster, praying for reciprocation.
Her kiss felt forced, as if she was kissing me from muscle memory.
Lifting my shaking hands, I cupped her cheeks, deepening our kiss, and she grabbed my arm, pulling me on top of her so I was straddling her waist.
“Tara…” I whimpered as she broke our kiss, her hands sliding under my shirt until she was cupping my breasts. Rocking my hips on her lap, desperate for friction, I tugged at her shirt.
Removing her hands from under my shirt, she quickly tore her shirt off over her head, followed by mine, and buried her face in my breasts. She licked and sucked my nipples, and I arched my back as arousal flooded my shaking body. I needed her; I needed her to see how much I love her, how much I want her…
“You want your fix, Alaina?” She groaned after releasing my nipple with a pop.
“God, yes.”
“You will not get one drop until you ride me. I want to feel your pussy dripping for me. Do you understand?” She snaked a hand around to the back of my head, fisting my hair at my scalp, and harshly pulled my head to the side so she could lick and nip her way up my neck.
“You see that syringe, Alaina? It’s yours if you make me cum like my good fucking girl, you hear me?” she said with hooded eyes, pointing towards the capped syringe on the ground.
“Yes, Tara. Anything… anything…”
“Good girl, baby. Now, take my thong off,” she ordered.
I obeyed, climbing up to my knees, hooking my shaking fingers into the waistband, and slowly lowering it to the ground for her to step out of. Her glistening pussy made my mouth water, and I needed to taste her.
Wrapping my hands around the back of her thighs, I pulled her towards me,
“Not yet, Alaina,” Tara commanded, stopping me in my tracks. “Take your panties off. Now.”
I was dizzy, my vision blurring, but I obeyed, sliding them off as Tara laid down on my blankets.
“Get my pussy over here and ride me, Alaina. You don’t get shit until you make me cum.”
Desperately trying to ignore the pain in my joints, I straddled her so one of her legs was in between mine, lowering my pussy onto hers. I draped her other leg over my shoulder and held her thigh close to my chest. I rocked my hips on hers, grinding my pussy on her clit in just the right spot.
“Oh my god, Tara…” I moaned, grinding harder and faster.
Tara groaned, panting as she cupped her breasts, tugging on the piercings in her nipples.
“Yes, baby girl, just like that… So wet for me already,” Tara praised. I clasped her leg to my chest as she matched my movements. Feeling her clit rubbing against mine was euphoric; the harder I rocked my hips into her, the louder she got, fueling my body to continue.
“Such a perfect pussy, baby girl. Give it to me…” Tara gripped my thighs, digging her fingertips into my skin, and I could feel the muscles in her legs get tense.
“Please, Tara, please… Please… I want you to cum so bad…” I whimpered, grinding my pussy on hers faster. Her climax was building, and I had to make sure she felt every ounce of pleasure I could provide.
Tossing my head back, I mustered up all the strength I had left and kissed up the leg I was holding to my chest.
“Fuck, don’t stop, Alaina…” Tara cried out, her orgasm tearing through her body as her hips moved more erratically and her back arched off the ground. I kept going, knowing her clit was sensitive, desperate for her to feel good. She cried out in pleasure,
When Tara’s body relaxed, I held her thigh closer to my chest, hugging it with both my arms.
“I love you, Tara.” I confessed with watery eyes.
Tara sat up, sliding out from underneath me, reached for the syringe and tossed it onto the ground in front of me.
“Enjoy, baby girl.” Pulling the blanket up, Tara rolled over and fell asleep, leaving me alone, still horny, and feeling… used.