Chapter 11
Piper hoped the dream she was having never, ever ended. She was curled into Raider’s arms and the sun was shining. Life was good and everything was right with the world. That’s how she’d always felt when they’d been married. Right up to the day she sent him packing.
She drew in a deep breath. His scent surrounded her, so familiar and still capable of awakening every nerve ending in her body after all these years. She fought opening her eyes, because lifting her lids meant the world would intrude, and life would go on. Even as she squeezed them closed, she knew she had to face the facts. From some other corner of this house, she detected movement.
With a heavy sigh, she cracked one eye. Raider was on his back and she was laying on the pillow next to him with her arm and leg over his hard body. Retirement hadn’t softened his muscles in the least. His face looked relaxed and there was a hint of a smile on his lips. He must be dreaming of something good.
Maybe it was about her.
Probably not.
Not after what she’d done.
Five more minutes, she decided. Five more minutes of pretending and bliss until she let reality crash in. She’d allow herself that.
“Penny for ’em.” Raider’s voice rumbled his chest under her fingertips.
Damn him. He had always been able to fool her into thinking he was sleeping. “Just thinking about tonight.” Liar. Liar. Pants on fire. “We should get up and see what’s going on with the volcano.”
“That’s not what you were thinking about,” Raider growled. “You were thinking about me.”
His long, dark eyelashes remained on his cheek, his eyes closed but she frowned at him anyway.
“Don’t bother to deny it and don’t frown. It will give you wrinkles.”
Now she really wanted to kill him. How had he known that without even opening his eyes?
Raider smiled. “You think loudly, and you’ve been stroking my chest for the last twenty minutes.”
“Shit,” she muttered as she snatched her hand away.
He chuckled. “You miss me.”
Her breath caught. He had no idea just how much. Five long years and her heart still hadn’t recovered. This man had been, dammit, still was, her world. Raider remained the only man she’d ever wanted in that way. But he’d hate her the instant she revealed the reason behind her leaving. She couldn’t be sure if the stab of grief in her chest was for what could have been, or what would be once he found out the truth. She cleared her throat. “You always did have an inflated sense of yourself.”
He grinned. “It’s only inflated if it’s not true.”
She smacked him on the shoulder and struggled to sit up. “Come on, we should get up and get moving.”
Raider opened his eyes, grumbled that he was already up and quickly sat upright and planted a quick kiss on her lips. Then he tossed his feet over the side of the bed and trundled off to the bathroom.
And yeah, he was already up. Even from the side view, she knew his physical reaction was because of her, not something merely biological.
Piper stared at the closed door between them. This op couldn’t end fast enough. As much as she wanted to stay with the man, her sense of self-preservation demanded she get far away from Raider. Drawing breath around him was difficult. Being this close to him, in a bed, made her heart hurt too damn much.
Once this was over, she’d go back to her life and he’d go back to his. Retirement suited him. He would hang with the guys and make a new life for himself. A life that hadn’t included her for five years. More, if she thought about their various missions and workloads.
She cocked her head and thought about what her retirement could look like. Maybe she could create a brand new life for herself. Leave San Diego. Maybe even leave the ATF. Fielding would love it is she handed in her resignation. That would allow them to sweep the insubordination thing under the rug and keep intact the ATF’s sterling reputation. Never mind that John had been struggling to get resources before Fielding arrived. The more she thought about it, the more she was convinced that leaving the ATF was the right move. She could try for some other law enforcement agency. Most governmental agencies looked for investigative and field experience like hers. Maybe she’d move to Hawaii. It was beautiful here, well, minus the lava. She could certainly get used to it all.
An unsmiling Raider stepped out of the bath, and she rose. The two of them strolled out to the kitchen. Wells, Baker, and Denlo were watching TV in the great room. Raider poured them both coffee from the pot on the counter and they joined the rest of the group in front of the television, getting the latest update on the volcano.
“The lava flow is still strong. Looks like it might hit the highway sooner rather than later,” Wells said catching them up.
Piper didn’t look at Raider. Lava on the highway would make a fast retreat an impossibility. Not to mention that being cut off would make it harder to get help when and if they needed it. She hoped John would be on it.
Denlo shifted his weight in his chair and swore. He looked uncomfortable. “The cops and fire department have moved on. They aren’t using the strip mall for staging anymore. We’re going tonight. Be ready to leave here at ten.” With that, he stood up and half walked, half staggered down the long hallway, slamming the door to the primary bedroom.
“What’s up with him?” Piper asked.
Baker half-smiled. “The food didn’t agree with him is all he said. I think he’s not feeling great.”
The rest of the day passed slowly. As the minutes trudged by, Piper found herself getting increasingly antsy. It was, in a way, torture to spend the day with Raider and not really be with him but she was determined to enjoy it. Once this was over, then she would never see him again. It was too painful. Too difficult. She would treat herself better and one of her gifts to herself was forgiveness. She would forgive herself but she knew he wouldn’t ever forgive her so there was no point in ever seeing him again.
“Raider,” she said as they sat in the bedroom, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” And she did. Her stomach was doing flips. Her senses were jangling.
He studied her for a moment and then nodded. “My gut tells me something is going on that we don’t know about. Some piece of the puzzle that we just aren’t aware of. Does anything stand out to you?”
She shook her head. “I’ve been wracking my brain all day but I just can’t put my finger on it. It’s like it’s on the edge of my consciousness but I just can’t bring it in.”
There was a loud bang on the door. “It’s time,” Denlo bellowed.
Raider was on his feet in an instant and pulled Piper off the bed. She started to move away but he held her tight and then bent down to whisper in her ear. “Piper, if things start to go south I need you to listen to me okay, and do exactly as I say.” She opened her mouth to argue that she could take care of herself, but he waved her off. “This isn’t about ego or our relationship. This is me, the Navy SEAL, telling you, the ATF agent, that if I tell you to do something just do it. I have more experience in volatile situations than you do.”
She pulled back and looked up at her, searching his face. The truth of his words was written in his steely expression. He really was just watching out for her.
She gave a single nod because she was smart enough to know that if Raider told her to do something, his instructions were because he’d thought ten steps ahead and it was the right thing to do.
He held her gaze a second longer almost like he was going to say more but instead, he leaned in and lightly kissed her forehead. Then he let her go and went out the door. She followed slowly and met everyone in the kitchen.
Together, they climbed into the van, and twenty minutes later Piper parked behind the deserted strip mall.
Denlo turned to her. “You’re coming in with us.”
Piper froze. That hadn’t been part of the original plan. “Er, but I thought I was supposed to be the lookout.”
“We don’t need a lookout,” Denlo snapped. “This entire end of the island is empty. We’re gonna need more hands on deck inside. You’re coming.”
She nodded but swore violently in her head. The point of this was for her to be on the outside. They were going to have agents in the van so when everyone came out and opened the door they’d be surrounded. She glanced at Raider. He gave a slight nod. Yeah, he knew this was bullshit and the change in plans was going to screw everything up, but they didn’t have a choice. The tingling sensation on her back was closer to pins and needles as she climbed from behind the wheel. They’d been here not even five minutes and already things were falling apart.
This op was doomed. She was doomed. She felt it in her soul. Her only goal now was for her and Raider to make it out alive, but a sixth sense told her they were going to need a miracle.