39. Liam
thirty-nine
Liam
H e knows.
Amber eyes swirled with hurt meet mine as Hail steps out onto the back patio with me.
I’m not sure we ever stood a chance of hiding this. Not when I can’t keep my eyes off Beau and Stas. They move, and I react. It’s a magnetic pull I have zero control over.
If it wasn’t obvious at the studio, I definitely blew our cover tonight. Beau brings out a playful side of Stas I’m not capable of tapping into, and Stas gives Beau the physical affection he craves.
Where I’m deficient, they fill in the gaps.
We fit. It’s a fact. One that won’t change just because Hail may not like it. And while I dread the possible shift in our friendship, I refuse to give them up.
“Thought you’d be out here smoking,” he says, coming over to lean against the railing with me.
“Quit.”
“Good. I was afraid I caused your addiction when I bought that pack to smoke on a hotel roof, and you tried chain smoking it.”
“Didn’t want you fucking up your lungs.”
Hail lets out a soft laugh. “You’ll do anything to take care of me, huh? I know you’ll do the same for Stasi. ”
Chest tightening, I peek over at him. Sadness still clings to him. “Then why do you look like that?”
He runs a hand along the back of his neck. A nervous tick of his. I know his every tell. Spent years cramped on buses and in hotel rooms with him, sweating and bleeding for our dreams. Well, his dream. All I ever wanted was for Hail to be on top.
But now, I have dreams of my own, and they involve waking up next to two beautiful souls every morning.
“I’m hurt you didn’t talk to me. Like… how long has this been going on? As long as Stasi’s been with Beau? I’m not trying to be needy or anything, but you’re my best friend, and you’ve had some rough days recently, and then Beau’s health… that must have been really hard…”
Surprising pressure builds behind my eyes, threatening tears I haven’t spilled since god knows fucking when. “You’re worried about me.”
“Yeah.” Somehow his reply is worse than a lecture or a fist to the jaw for fucking his sister. It leaves me reeling. I expected a little anger. At the very least, words of warning from a protective twin. He and Stas are a team. A packaged deal. If I hurt her, I hurt him, too.
Casting my gaze out at the night sky, I shake my head. “You’re a fucking anomaly, Hail Koval.”
He laughs. “Is that a compliment?”
“Always.”
The mood settles back into something comfortable. A companionship formed over two decades of friendship. Something that runs deeper than blood.
“I spent a lot of years convinced I wasn’t what anyone needed. Beau and Stas…they’re showing me otherwise. I wasn’t keeping secrets with the intention of hurting you, but I wanted to be respectful of Stas’s wi shes to stay quiet. Shit with your family isn’t good. It’s been stressing her out.”
Hail sighs. “Discover you’re bi and your entire family falls apart.”
“Your parents suck,” I mutter.
“We should form a club.”
Snorting, I drop my head and rub a hand along my stubbled jaw.
“I get why you didn’t say anything,” Hail says. “Guess it’s hard for me to process that there are things I don’t know about you. I assumed you’d at least share the important stuff.”
That one glances off my chin like a blow.
“I tell you things,” I mumble.
His laugh comes out exasperated. “You bought a recording studio without telling me.”
“I showed you two days after I bought it.”
“Yeah. After you bought it. I didn’t even know you had one picked out. And Z… you waited to tell me you found out where he’d run off to when we were having problems.”
I lift my gaze to him. “I’m sorry, Hail.”
“So, are you serious about them? Cause you know I’ll go to bat for my sis, and I’m starting to really like Beau.”
“I’m serious, Hail. I want to pursue this. You know that’s not something I’ve ever wanted before.”
Hail stares at me like he’s trying to piece a puzzle together. Like he’s sifting through memories to pinpoint when I changed my mind about commitment.
“Well shit, Liam. Stasi’s had a crush on you since we were teenagers.”
I sigh. “I’m an oblivious asshole.”
“And Beau?” he prods.
“Beau’s perfect for her. ”
“What about for you ?”
I spin one of my rings around a finger. “I don’t deserve him. Either of them.”
Hail places a hand on the back of my neck. I lift my head up to meet his stern expression. “You are every bit worthy of their love.”
His hand drops, and then he lets out a breathy laugh. “Jesus, you would end up with two partners. Just don’t tell me any of the weird shit you three get up to.”
I chuckle. “You know I’m good at keeping secrets.”
“Oh, I know . Answer my calls more often.”
“Stop touring so much. Then we don’t have to rely on phone calls to keep up.”
“Hey, I’ll be home for a while after my honeymoon. Prepare yourself.” Hail moves to the sliding door, throwing it open.
“Bullshit. You two can’t sit still for more than a couple of weeks.”
I follow him inside, overcome with comfort as I take in my decorated home. Garland and string lights hang from every doorway, and the scent of apples fills the air from dozens of flickering candles atop the new furnishings I bought.
Hail pauses. “I don’t know. This domestic situation you’ve got going on is pretty appealing.”
He slips off to join Z strumming a guitar on the couch.
Strange to think the comment doesn’t bother me. Not when giving up the fame and the money and the screaming fans gives me the opportunity to see Beau and Stas any time I want. Not when I can feel the tattered pieces inside of me finally mending.
Proof I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I glance over at Stas and Beau flirting in the kitchen and nearly lose my self-control. Beau’s got her caged against the island, his hands gripping her exposed hips in that little cropped sweater she’s wearing, his tongue licking up the trail of powdered sugar on her cheek.
If we didn’t have company, I’d fuck them both right there.
No . I’d take my time with them. Take them upstairs to my bed and show them how much I’ve fallen for them.
Slipping my hands in my pockets, I continue watching their playful struggle in the kitchen. Beau lifts his head from Stas’s neck and flashes me a blinding smile.
Can I be certain I won’t fuck this up? No . But Stas and Beau are making me question everything I thought I knew about myself.
Maybe I can be what they need. Maybe if I work hard, I can be more .