Chapter 1
JOEL
Present Day
“Thank you for coming,” I shake another anonymous hand and nod as my voice gives out.
It’s funny how a woman who never had any visitors other than her two grandchildren suddenly knew half of fucking Jersey. The entire church filled up with faces I’ve never seen before, all here to pay their respects to my Gran.
Juana De Novar was a sharp-witted four-foot-nothing woman. Widowed in her late twenties, she worked her ass off to raise her two boys alone through the seventies and fought even harder to keep the only thing my granddad left her, the house that now belongs to me.
My summer sanctuary as a teen.
Dad raised us in Philly, but every summer we spent at the shore at Gran’s. It’s where I learned how to swim, ride a bike, and it’s where I fell in love. Almost nineteen years old and ready to ship out to the Navy.
I gave my heart to Haven Demato, the girl next door, only to have her rip it to shreds.
It’s been years since we spoke, and I still have no idea how I fucked it up. I shake off the memories and find myself face-to-face with the woman in question.
Dressed in black from head to toe, with her signature cherry cola hair peeking out from under the big hat she’s wearing.
My goth pinup girl.
“Joel,” her voice breaks through all the other voices that I wish would disappear.
I’m surprised to see her here. Life has been throwing me so many curveballs lately, I’m not sure which way is up. I’ve been home from the Navy for less than a month, and I find myself inheriting troubles no one wants.
A house falling apart, a job I didn’t ask for, and a motorcycle club that won’t take no for an answer. And somehow, she’s involved, and I need to find out how.
More importantly, why?
“Thank you,” it seems to be the only words I’m capable of saying today.
She smiles and nods as if she understands. If she does, I wish she would explain it to me. My little sister, who’s standing next to me, throws her arms around Haven and whispers a little louder than she needs to.
“Fucking posers. Don’t any of these assholes know Gran,” I can’t help but smirk as Father Brian clears his throat.
“Sorry,” Coraine sighs as she lets Haven go.
“Please tell me that you’ll be at the house.” Haven glances at me, and I shrug.
She knows I want answers from her.
I know I told her not to come, but those words were said out of anger, and I’m so glad she ignored my stupid ass. She sighs and smiles at Cori.
“I’ll be there. Give me the keys, and I’ll get things started.” Cori points at me, and Haven freezes.
“You want access to my house? Unattended?” I lean in to whisper so none of these old ass gossips hear my words.
“You aren’t going to hide any bodies in the basement, are you?” I fish the keys out of my pocket and hold them back while she answers.
“Fresh out of them, but thanks for the offer.” She smirks, snatches them from my hand, and saunters away.
“Get a room.” I glare at Cori.
“We’re in a church for Christ’s sake.” Father Brian glares at me.
I cross myself and go back to saying goodbye to the people leaving my grandmother’s viewing.
Haven has the keys to my house to get the repast ready while I bury my Gran at the cemetery.
Fucking fabulous.
“I’m disappointed. I looked through all the drawers and didn’t find any sex dolls.” I pull a beer from the fridge and slowly turn to face Haven.
“I only fuck real women.”
She rolls her eyes.
“That’s debatable. Your condoms are expired, by the way.” She lifts her ass up onto my counter and crosses her legs as I take a long draw of the beer.
It’s been hours since I put Gran in the ground, and the house is finally starting to empty.
Cori is gone, having to go get the kids to bed, leaving me alone with my old…what do I even call her? Ex? Old love? It’s not old if you never stopped, right? This woman has been driving me crazy for almost fifteen years.
“You wanna clue me in on what happened between us?” I cross my arms over my chest and lean into the sink.
“Oh, we’re gonna need more than beer for that conversation. Got any whiskey?” She hops down and starts looking through my cabinets until she finds the liquor and snaps a bottle of Jameson in the air in triumph.
“Glasses are over there.” I point to the bar cart that Gran had with fine crystal.
“You’ve got enough dishes.” She pops the top off the bottle and takes a nice, slow drag of alcohol without a single wince.
“Impressive. I know sailors who would be coughing up a lung right now.”
She hands the bottle to me with a smirk.
“You served with a bunch of pussies then.”
I’d argue, but she’s right.
I bring the bottle up, but hesitate.
“Worried where my lips have been?” She leans against the counter and smiles at me.
“More like I’m worried where mine might end up.” I take a big swallow.
“Well, if it’s anywhere other than my lips, it’ll be the first time.” I frown as I pass the bottle back to her.
“Hmm, that’s where you’re wrong, baby. I remember that night like it was yesterday. It got me through some shitty ass situations over the years.”
She takes another swallow, and we trade again.
As I start to take a swig, she says eight words that change my fucking life.
“That was Danica. You fucked her, not me.” I choke and sputter as Haven takes pity on me and pats my back.
“WHAT?”
I shake my head as the memories surface on command. The way she smelled, the taste of her lip gloss, the way I questioned the tan lines she didn’t have days before, but she had been sunbathing. The texture of her hair was wrong; I thought it was the fresh dye job.
The bottle slips through my hands and smashes on the kitchen floor.
“Oh God.”