Chapter 9 #2
Gabriel stared. He heard what Tommy was saying, but he couldn’t process it. Couldn’t put the pieces together to make them make sense. That was impossible. Blake didn’t, wouldn’t leave. Especially not with Team Beta. Not when they were scheduled for a mission.
His hands began to shake. “What?”
Tommy picked at the shovel handle. “I don’t know. He just stormed off across the parking lot and got into the truck and left with them.”
It was getting harder to breathe. He couldn’t understand.
There was no reason for Blake to be with Team Beta.
With Alvarez. That cocky motherfucker. Blake knew he was dangerous.
Knew that Gabriel didn’t trust him. Hell, last month he’d lost a member of his team because he cut corners, because he didn’t know when to back off and reassess the situation.
Images of Blake in a burnt-out truck flickered behind his lids.
Of him being led into a building not properly cleared.
A Monkey Cat claw spearing him through the neck, frothy blood bubbling from his mouth.
Of him being hit, the fire burning him from the outside, eating away at his chest, those intelligent, vibrant eyes going dark.
Slumped in a dirty building, a hole in his head—
Gabriel lunged around Phin, grabbing Tommy by the shirt. He shook him. “And you let him go? You just watched as he went off with them and didn’t say a goddamn word!”
Tommy didn’t have a chance to answer before pain exploded in Gabriel’s face.
His head rocked back, and he stumbled to keep his feet.
Stars exploded behind his lids moments before he tasted iron.
Grabbing his face, he swore as he felt his nose crunch under his fingers.
Tears welled in his eyes, and he couldn’t stop them from falling down his cheek.
“Don’t fucking touch him,” Phin barked, his impressive frame looking wobbly in his watery vision. “It’s not Tommy’s fault Blake left, and if you so much as even look at him, I will put you down, Gabriel. I swear to God.”
Breathing through his mouth, Gabriel was finally able to stand up. His nose smarted, but it wasn’t broken. Phin had done him that courtesy.
“He just let him leave!”
“He didn’t let a grown man do anything,” Phin snapped. “Blake is a smart guy. If he left, it was because he needed to. And if he left with Alvarez, it’s because he couldn’t come to you.” Phin’s nostrils were flaring, eyes hard as flint.
Panic clawed up Gabriel’s throat. He couldn’t think.
Couldn’t breathe. Blake wasn’t here. Gabriel could almost feel him slipping away out of reach.
Right now, he could be dead. Lifeless on the side of the road.
Indistinguishable from the thousands of other bodies he’d passed.
His bright spark. His intelligence. His heart.
All gone from Gabriel. Crushed beneath the horrors he desperately tried to shield him from.
No. No. He lived. Gabriel would feel it if he... No, his heart would have ceased beating. Purpose having been driven from this world. Without Blake, he was untethered. He was pointless.
He raked his hands through his hair, breath coming in sharp, useless gasps.
Gabriel needed to find him. “Where?” he croaked, desperately looking past Phin to see Tommy. He was clutching the back of Phin’s jacket.
“I don’t know.” His words were clipped. “Beaumont said something about getting supplies for the Beta and Charlie site.”
Gabriel tried to comb through his memory for something—anything.
He and Irving had talked about getting supplies for the site, but he hadn’t been present when Irving had assigned where to look for the supplies.
Most of the time, he gave the teams a general area.
One he thought might be productive, and let the team make their own decisions.
Without any form of communication, the teams had to work autonomously, making their own decisions.
It’s why the commanders were so important.
And Team Beta had Alvarez.
Gabriel thought the guy had potential, but right now, he was a ticking time bomb, and he was sitting next to Blake. Alvarez didn’t care about his people; he cared about the mission. The end justified the means. And Blake wasn’t even his team. He had no affection for the medic.
He had to move. He had to do something, but his brain and his legs weren’t cooperating. He wanted to run, but he didn’t know where.
Did they even have another working truck? Last he saw, Tommy and Judd were taking the other truck apart, working on replacing a part. Gabriel didn’t know if they’d fixed it or not.
“I have to go after him,” he began, reaching out toward Phin. “Where are the keys?”
Phin pressed his lips together. “You don’t even know where to look.”
“I don’t care!” he screamed loud enough to startle the chickens. They flapped their wings, small white feathers flying. “I have to save him! I have to protect him! I have to—I need him…” his voice hitched, the words turning to ash in his throat.
God, had it really only been this morning that he had Blake in his arms? It felt like an eternity ago. Like the soft press of his skin and the snarky curl of his mouth were nothing more than a fading memory. He hadn’t kissed him goodbye. Hadn’t apologized for what he’d done. Gabriel had just—
Couldn’t come to you.
Phin’s words echoed in his head like a bell.
Gabriel had denied him. Over and over. He’d only half listened to the things Blake said.
Comforted him, but didn’t do anything to make it better.
Blake had told him he needed to do more, to help people, and Gabriel had tried to take him on a date.
He’d tried to fix Blake’s pain with kisses and words of endearment.
And when Blake needed him most, when something was so important to him he was willing to risk his life, he didn’t trust Gabriel.
The guilt and the fear culminated in physical pain. Gabriel didn’t know what to do. He felt the corner of the novel dig into his leg, and he almost laughed. A stupid novel. Blake was suffering, and all he’d brought him was pages and ink.
“Alvarez isn’t that bad,” Tommy said, his voice timid. “And Beaumont is with them. He won’t let Blake get hurt.”
His words were hollow. Even Phin winced as he spoke. Tommy hadn’t seen what they’d seen. He hadn’t seen Monkey Cats ripping Off Formers apart, even as they burned. He hadn’t seen Off Formers decimate buildings. He hadn’t been chased by Drones and FUDs for miles.
He hadn’t seen Blake’s body limp, crushed under brick, stuck between two behemoths designed solely to wage war, damn the collateral damage.
And this time, Gabriel wasn’t there to run into the fray. To beg him to come back. He was in the most dangerous place in the world, with people he couldn’t trust, and Gabriel was here.
Is this what it had been like for Blake? Every time Gabriel loaded up on a mission, he didn’t know when he’d be back. If he came back at all. Was Blake the one left standing in the middle of the parking lot, desperate to do something, but unable to do anything?
Safe but stuck.
Alone.
The weight on Gabriel’s shoulders was so heavy he could barely breathe. He turned toward the horizon and watched as the sky darkened. His hand reached for his crochet hook, but all he found was the dog-eared pages of a paperback novel.
They approached the vet clinic cautiously.
Despite being only half an hour south, the atmosphere changed drastically. Shadows lengthened across broken streets. Smoke soured the air. And the muted sounds of explosions in the distance echoed in their ears.
Capitol Hill Veterinary was tucked into the outskirts of the metropolitan area of DC. Stuck on the end of a strip mall, it was joined by the liquor store Blake was familiar with, a pizza joint he wasn’t, and a dry cleaner someone in his line of work wouldn’t bother with.
The parking lot was mostly clear. A hubcap rested on the curb, and inert electrical lines draped over the streets like day-old birthday decorations.
Unlike the azalea-lined streets of the suburbs, the city was ravaged.
Buildings were sooty with fire damage, and the street was gouged with craters.
Debris seemed to collect in the streets like hair in the shower drain, and they’d had to leave the truck three blocks back.
Tyler and Zoe stayed behind to guard it, which left Beaumont and Alvarez on either side of Blake.
Alvarez was quiet as he scanned the streets, his face pinched and eyes bright.
It was the same look he’d seen on all the soldiers when they were on high alert.
There was a kind of tautness in their body as they balanced on the balls of their feet and twitched at every sound.
He assumed it was partly training and partly inherited. Observant soldiers lived longer.
As they ascended the curb and began creeping toward the clinic, Blake found himself wishing he had a gun.
He settled for gripping the straps of the backpack he’d taken from the truck, but it left him feeling exposed.
It’s not that he didn’t trust Alvarez or Beaumont or was even deluded enough to think he was a better shot than them; he just wanted something to do with his hands.
Hell, he’d take a big stick. He might prefer it. Less chance for user error.
A faded navy blue and white sign was still affixed to the brick building: Capitol Hill Veterinary Clinic: Walk-Ins Welcome. There was a cartoon puppy sitting with a rabbit and a cat in the center. It was cute. Better yet, it looked untouched.