Chapter 16
CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
Morning came between one blink and the next.
Blake didn’t think he slept, but time was strange in their dim little motel room.
They dressed in silence. He wished Gabriel would break the tension.
Make some kind of sexual innuendo or come up behind him and kiss his neck.
Maybe pull his hair a little. Anything to pretend like everything was fine. That this was just another day.
But Blake had asked for the truth, and Gabriel had always given it to him.
The rest of the motel felt the same as they loaded up into the working trucks and set off for the museum. That was what Gabriel was calling their main rendezvous point. The place they’d begin the mission—Rally Point Zero.
From the museum, they would split off. Most of the group would go home. They’d only come to wish them well, or maybe to get one last look.
Alvarez was leading the Ground Team. That’s what he was calling it, anyway.
Blake preferred Bait Team, but that wasn’t good for morale.
Ground Team had the non-enviable task of getting the Off Former’s attention.
They had two trucks and grenades, Molotov cocktails, and some homemade shrapnel bombs they’d set off like a dinner bell.
Team Choo-Choo was Tommy, Judd, and Gabriel. Their job was to set the Metro substation to spark. They’d spent the weeks leading up to it setting up, getting everything ready so they could just flip the switch. Blake was sure it wasn’t that easy, but that was the gist of it.
Then there was Blake. He and Phin were Team Chicken Flipping.
Now he was standing under the rolling door of the museum, looking out over rolling fields that couldn’t decide if they wanted to turn green just yet. Perhaps he should consult the groundhog. How many more weeks of winter?
Groundhog was probably vaporized, anyway.
He reached into his pocket and felt the two sixty-ml syringes with fourteen-gauge needles firmly attached. Blake had never used a needle that big, but now he worried they were too small. Would it take too long to inject the full amount of piss-colored methamphetamine into Queen Dolly?
Running his thumb over the plunger, he picked at the striations in the plastic. He’d felt it a thousand times in a thousand different ways. Going seventy MPH down the highway with a seizing patient on his stretcher? Sure. A combative diabetic trying to take his head off? Just another day. But this?
This was alien bullshit.
Taking a breath, he looked over his shoulder to see Victoria and Judd by the Huey. Their heads were together; hands tangled between them. It was a private moment, and Blake turned back to the motley group of people scattered across the lawn.
Alvarez and Beaumont were standing beside the rusted-out Dodge dually. They had a map spread out over the hood, going over last-minute coordinates and a planned attack. Tyler and Zoe were with them, looking far too calm for the situation.
Irving wasn’t here. When asked, he’d simply raised a brow. “Would my presence aid the mission?”
Dick.
Phin, Tommy, and Gabriel were speaking with Emily and her parents.
They’d come with Sara, who insisted on seeing everyone off.
Sara kept swiping at her eyes, cheeks puffed out.
Judd’s thick, ugly russet colored scarf was wrapped around the girl’s neck.
He’d told her she could keep it warm for him until he came back.
Victoria told her to have two more chapters of their workbook completed.
Blake knew he should say something to her. She was supposed to be his responsibility, after all. But he just—couldn’t. He still struggled to look her in the eye. To understand the enormity of what he’d done. What he’d failed to do.
And Judd was so good with her. Like the dumbass older brother no one really wanted, but everyone deserved.
And then she had Victoria, who was stern, making sure she ate as healthily as possible and did her schoolwork.
She didn’t need Blake, not really. Still.
He felt a responsibility he couldn’t quite shirk.
Swallowing, he walked over to the group. The grass was soaked with dew, and his boots were slick and squeaky as he moved to Gabriel’s side. The soldier’s arm snaked around his waist, drawing him close.
Sara looked up at Blake expectantly. Despite the wetness on her cheeks, she wasn’t cowering. Her face was hard, brows slightly furrowed, lips chapped from the wind. Blake could hardly reconcile her with the dirty, frightened girl who clung to him in the bed of a truck.
“Why do you have to go?” she asked, digging the toe of her sneaker into the grass. “You’re a doctor.”
“I’m not a doctor,” Blake said, a little too quickly. Gabriel squeezed his side. “I’m—I’m a medic. Do you know the difference?”
She paused for a moment and then shook her head.
Blake knelt so he could look her in the eye. “It means that I go where people are hurt. I help get them out of danger and try to hold them together until they can get to a doctor.” He tried to smile, but his face wouldn’t cooperate.
Sara wasn’t buying it. She was focusing on her shoe, grinding it into the dirt. Blake knew exactly what she was thinking.
“I couldn’t save your mom.” Gabriel shifted behind him, but Blake was focused on Sara. “I—I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t mean anything to you. I failed your mom. I failed you. And nothing I can say or do will change that.”
Her big, brown eyes lifted from the dirt and met his from under her lashes.
“I haven’t been around much, either. And I’m sorry for that, too. I wish I could tell you that adults handled their sh—stuff better than kids, but we don’t. And after losing your mom, I felt like I couldn’t face you. That was wrong.”
“It’s okay.” It was said in the way that kids do. Like they’re just saying it to appease an adult because they’re uncomfortable or don’t understand the situation.
Blake’s lips curled wryly.
“It’s not, but I’d like to try.” He extended his fist out. “I can’t undo my mistakes, Sara. But I can be a better friend to you.”
Her eyes darted down to his fist. “Could we…could we talk about my mom? I don’t want to forget her.”
Blake’s chest clenched. “I’d like that.”
Sara’s knuckles tapped his.
Wherever your mom is, I hope she knows she raised one hell of a kid.
He stood up and caught Emily’s father’s eye. If they didn’t hear from any of the teams in two days, the plan was to evacuate to the Beta or Charlie site and hang tight. They’d return to the motel if it was safe, move on if it wasn’t.
The man dropped a kind hand on Sara’s shoulder and nodded.
Emily hugged him. Her wild hair tickled his nose, but he hugged her back. She’d gained some weight after getting the insulin and was doing well. Beaumont found another vial in an old folks’ home last week; she should have enough to hold her over for a while.
Gabriel took his hand and pulled him away from the group into the chill of the hangar. In a few minutes, he’d be in the helicopter, holding on for dear life as Victoria navigated a fifty-year-old, derelict, museum piece through a door only slightly wider than it was.
And that was the easy part.
Team Oh Shit met beside the Huey. They all looked at Gabriel.
“Don’t look at me. I’m all out of speeches.”
Phin rolled his eyes, but Judd laughed. He clapped Gabriel on the shoulder. “Just your shining face is enough, Commander. We’d follow you anywhere.”
Judd dodged Gabriel’s swat and pulled Victoria close. He dipped her, kissing her soundly. “Be safe for me, Danger Tits.”
Victoria blinked, her cheeks turning red. It was the closest to flabbergasted Blake had ever seen her. Judd yowled when she kicked him in the shin.
Tommy turned to Blake, but he held up a hand. “Don’t you dare hug me, Tofu.”
“You’ve hugged me before.”
“Prove it.”
Rolling his eyes, he jerked Blake into a rough hug. Blake would deny that he squeezed him back.
Blake muttered, “Just…come back with your eyebrows intact. You’d look terrible without them.”
Tommy gave him one last squeeze before following a limping Judd out of the hangar and to their truck.
Phin watched him go, his face drawn. “’Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’” His voice was a rich timbre, collecting in the beams of the hangar. “’And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me.’”
Blake didn’t know the context of the verse, but he didn’t think he needed to. Phin turned on his heel and got into the helicopter.
Gabriel clasped arms with Victoria. “You take care of mine, and I’ll take care of yours.” Her blue eyes were like ice.
He nodded, and she climbed into the cockpit.
Blake told himself he wasn’t going to cry anymore. That he’d said what he needed to say. Done what he needed to do. But now, faced with the prospect of this being the last time he’d ever see Gabriel, he faltered.
Like every time he felt weak, Gabriel swept him up in his arms and supported him. They didn’t speak. Blake buried his face in Gabriel’s neck and squeezed so hard he thought he might leave bruises.
“I love you, Blake.” Gabriel kissed the top of his head. “No matter what happens, I love you. Promise me you’ll remember that.”
He nodded, blinking back tears. “Don’t do any hero shit, please? Just…be a regular guy who stays in the back and keeps his head down, okay? Don’t go noble hero on me.”
Honesty sparkled in Gabriel’s hazel eyes. “Can’t promise that.”
“Fuck you!” Blake slammed his fist into Gabriel’s chest. He hit him again before collapsing. “I love you, too.”
Gabriel’s arms tightened around him, and Blake knew he was fighting himself.
He didn’t want Blake to go. Wanted him safely back with Emily, Sara, and Irving.
And he had fought him when Irving suggested he was the best suited for Team Chicken Flipping.
He’d flipped a table before Phin pulled him aside and talked to him.
Probably promised him some kind of military battle buddy code of honor.