Chapter 36 – Diesel #2
She flipped him off. “Fuck you again, Diesel. You don’t get to fuck with my emotions and then evade a direct fucking question. I clocked that you didn’t deny what the fuck I suspect, you miserable motherfucker.”
“Fuck you, Rebel,” Diesel barked, not knowing what the fuck else to say.
“You just demanded I accept your fucking apology. Yet, you continue to fucking lie to me and fucking curse me. Tell me what Kaia did.”
“Ask that motherfucker,” Diesel snapped.
“So he did sleep with Fia?”
“What?” Diesel gritted his teeth, wanting to take Rebel into his arms and shield her from the world. “Fuck. No! If he did, I don’t fucking know about it.”
“Fine,” she said miserably.
“Do you believe him or not?” Narci demanded.
“You should,” Torrin put in. “He wouldn’t lie to you. He’s a good big brother and you’re giving him nothing but fucking bullshit.”
If Diesel wasn’t so panicked, he would’ve asked them if they were out of their fucking minds, fucking with her again. But he was torn between protecting Rebel from discovering the truth, and his role in Kaia and Fia’s situation.
Instead of responding to any of them or revealing her feelings, she looked at Potter. “You’re adding your fucking opinion?”
“Nope,” Potter said with a shake of his head.
Diesel rolled his eyes.
“Pussy,” Narci said, disgusted, a sentiment Diesel shared.
“But a live one,” Potter stated. “I’m not fucking getting on Rebel’s bad side.”
Rebel grinned. “Smart man.”
“No, pussy,” Narci insisted. “Afraid of a fucking beatdown from Outlaw for telling his daughter what’s right. Diesel didn’t do her anything.”
“Says you,” Rebel said with a snort.
“Outlaw might give us a beatdown,” Potter barked to Narci.
“Or he might fucking kill us. It depends on the fucking day. But you know who won’t give a fuck if it’s morning, noon, or night on any fucking day of the week?
Meggie. You want to fuck with Rebel? Let Meggie find out and see who the fuck’s the pussy. ”
“Then I guess we have to keep this shit between us,” Narci said in warning.
“Diesel’s right there, fuckhead,” Potter said, nodding to Diesel as if every motherfucker couldn’t see him.
“Diesel’s on our side, pussy,” Narci said.
“For now. That might fucking change if you don’t fucking back off of his little sister.”
“We’re defending him,” Narci said again, then smiled at Diesel. “You get that, right, brother?”
“For now,” Diesel echoed with a shrug. Mainly because he was so fucking annoyed with Rebel, but Potter was right on all accounts. He looked at Rebel so fucking regretful and frustrated, he wanted to fucking scream. “I’m not fucking apologizing to you again, so I guess you won’t forgive me.”
She lifted her chin. “Then I guess I won’t,” she told him with finality.
Diesel thrust his fingers through his hair. “You had no intentions of forgiving me in the first fucking place,” he spat, attempting to guilt her.
She flipped him off. “Fuck you again, Diesel. You don’t get to fuck with my emotions by throwing out random fucking apologies to have your fucking way.”
“Random apologies? I rarely fucking apologize. When I do, they aren’t fucking random, you little bitch.”
“Excuse me,” she said, her tone dripping sugar. “Not random, fucking manipulative, you miserable motherfucker.”
Yanking his hair, he gritted his teeth, scrubbed a hand over his face, and growled. “What the fuck do you want from me?”
“Your fucking blood,” she snapped.
“Do you know what I think, Rebel?” he said after a moment, searching for a way to break through to her.
“Thank fuck, no. Your tiny fucking brain must be a frightening place.”
“And yet you keep fucking with me.”
“You keep confronting me, fuck face. If you didn’t want me to fuck with you, you’d let me fucking go without intercepting me every fucking time.” She huffed. “Tell me what you think, then please get the fuck out of my way.”
“Not only are you afraid to forgive me, but the part of you that’s willing to is too fucking stubborn to do so.”
“You, fuckface, are Axel’s idol. He’s a holy fucking terror.
If I forgive you this time, nothing will stop you from doing something else to me.
Because you have the understanding of a newborn.
No, fuck that. Jo has better awareness. If you really knew and understood why you hurt me so much, I’d have hope for your fucking sanity.
But you don’t. So, again, stuck-on-repeat-fuckhead, fuck you.
Fuck off. I’m not accepting your motherfucking apology. ”
“Fuck!” he roared. “Fuck! You’re fucking driving me insane.”
“Can’t fucking drive you where you’ve already arrived.”
“Can you shut the fuck up for one fucking minute, Rebel?”
“As long as I hear your motherfucking voice, you’ll hear mine.”
He stared at her, the determination in her blue eyes, her flushed cheeks, her gorgeous hair, a golden cascade that reached her waist. He began to laugh, not out of amusement. It was because he couldn’t do anything else. He especially couldn’t win against that little fucking shrew.
His nostrils flaring, he abruptly stopped his laughter and grabbed her shoulders, snatching her closer and shaking the fuck out of her. “Tell me then,” he ordered through clenched teeth. “Tell me what the fuck I did to you.”
She punched his shoulder and snatched herself out of his hold.
“You hurt me, you stupid motherfucker. You lured me into that fucking natatorium to satisfy your fucking need for revenge. You used my fucking trauma to achieve your fucked up goal. How many different ways do I have to say the same fucking thing to make you understand, Diesel? I went in there because I trusted you, fuckhead. I trusted that you really wanted to help me overcome my fear of that fucking pool. I know who and what you are, but I didn’t deserve what you did to me.
I didn’t deserve that,” she repeated on a miserable whisper.
“Who am I, sweetheart?” he croaked, taking in her face.
“You’re you, Diesel. Not a good man, but you were good to me and that’s all that mattered. I can’t stay a kid forever. The only thing I did was have my first kiss. If it was one of the boys, you would’ve congratulated them. You could’ve done the same for me.”
He threw her a dark look, hating her vulnerability and despising his fucking jealousy. “That would never fucking happen.”
Shaking her head, she gave him a small smile, thawing a little. “Of course not, you fucking sexist. And a liar. And a psycho. And a fuckhead.”
Laughter rumbled from his friends and Diesel started to smile, until Jana rushed toward them and onto the landing. He hadn’t even heard her walk up the pathway.
“That is enough, Rebel Caldwell,” Jana said, storming to Rebel. “You will not disrespect your big brother like that or you will deal with me.”
Jana’s firm words and determined look shocked the fuck out of Diesel. Fuck! She’d said she would confront Rebel. He went to her and kissed her because he didn’t know what the fuck else to do.
“I won’t put up with another moment of your mean, spoiled behavior,” Jana continued. “So…Enough!”
Rebel glanced at Diesel, then at the guys. Torrin and Narci were enjoying themselves. As usual, Potter looked as if he wanted to be anywhere else.
“You will accept his apology. He’s done with the apologies. You should apologize to him.”
Again, Rebel looked between them, before her gaze settled on Jana.
“Apologize to Diesel?”
“Jana—” Diesel started, but she ignored him. The one time he didn’t need her input, she was fucking interfering.
“He was protecting you by inviting you into that natatorium,” she said.
Knowing what the fuck she was about to say, Diesel actually fucking cringed.
“He was trying to teach you not to act like a fourteen-year-old and trust whatever Kaia tells you.”
“He was what?”
Fuck. It sounded as fucked up now as it did when Uncle Christopher repeated it to Aunt Meggie.
“You should thank him for inviting you down there,” Jana continued. “Obviously, he was right to do so. You have a lot to learn, especially if you can’t see what an excellent big brother he is.”
Rebel’s shock was clearing, which wasn’t a good thing. The more Jana spoke, the more fury darkened her eyes.
“You’re defending him, Jana?”
“As I should,” she said firmly. “He can’t get through to you and he’s talked about you and how you’ve broken his heart, so it’s up to me to step in. From this moment forward, you will not bring up that incident again. It’s over and done with. Get over it.”
Rebel blinked.
“She hears you, sweetheart,” Diesel said to Jana, trying to diffuse the situation before Rebel fucking exploded. “We’ll talk and—”
“No, babe. You’ve been so very sad. I am defending you.” She kissed Diesel on his shocked lips, then turned to Rebel again. “I’m also defending you. As your big sister, I need to steer you in the right direction.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, no. You fucking hear me, you fucking ungrateful bitch. Don’t fucking talk to me ever again.
I’m the main one around this motherfucker who defended you when that motherfucker was motherfuckering.
Which is every fucking day. You don’t even have fucking clothes,” Rebel yelled, furious all over again.
“You’re fucking pathetic, simpering behind him.
Jumping when he snaps his fucking fingers.
And you have the fucking nerve to confront me when you don’t have a motherfucking backbone to even stand straight the fuck up. ”
“Goddamn,” Torrin said.
“And I already have a woman to steer me, bitch. And that woman will also kick you the fuck off the property for hurting my fucking feelings.” She snatched her phone from her back pocket and dialed.
“Rebel, wait—” Diesel began.
“Mommie!” Rebel wailed, with not a tear in her goddamn eyes. “Jana…Jana…” She sniffled. “O-okay.”
Another sniffle before she disconnected and smirked. “Now, bitch, see you, wouldn’t want to be you.”
With that, she started off down the same pathway Jana had so recently used and fucked up all the progress he’d made with Rebel. Jana burst into real tears.
“Rebel, wait,” Diesel called.
She threw him the bird over her shoulder.
“Don’t you need to be here when Meggie arrives?” Torrin asked, the question halting her.
She turned and smirked. “Nope. I was too heartbroken to stick around. I’ll have to text her to tell her to find me at the swings once Jana is off the premises.”
“Rebel, please—” Jana cried in a watery voice.
“Sweetheart, you never have to talk to me—” Diesel started, interrupting Jana before she pissed off Rebel even further.
Rebel folded her arms and clamped her jaw, signaling the return of her silent treatment. He wished Jana had shut the fuck up. Handing her off to Torrin because he couldn’t comfort her while he focused on Rebel, he stepped toward her.
“Jana…you tell her all the time she needs to stand up for herself.”
“To you. Not for you,” she snapped. “You shoved that bitch down my throat. I ended up liking her and she turned on me for you? When we both fucking know the fucking reason you had me come to that fucking natatorium had nothing to do with you being my big brother. You were jealous of Kaia, fuckhead. Tell that stupid bitch that and then let her make a fucking jackass out of herself.”
Every stride he’d made with Rebel evaporated. No matter what she said about not forgiving him because he wouldn’t tell her the truth about Kaia, she had softened. That was probably why she was so fucking enraged right now.
“Rebel,” Diesel said tiredly. “Jana needs your friendship and she needs us to be her family.”
“Is it my fault that bitch is a stray mutt?”
Fuck, but she was brutal.
Jana stumbled forward. “I-I’m sorry, Rebel,” she sobbed. “Don’t be mad.”
“Mad? I’m fucking livid.”
“I’m sorry,” Jana said again. “You’re my only friend—”
“You aren’t mine if you came at me for no fucking reason.”
“But I did have a reason,” Jana wailed.
“The wrong motherfucking one,” Rebel shouted.
“I thought I could be a big sister and change your mind. Make you stop acting in a way that hurt Diesel.”
“Your first fucking mistake. I don’t give a fuck who you are. My thoughts and feelings belong to me. If you try to change them, especially like that, it won’t end well for you.”
“Diesel’s been so sad because you’re angry with him—”
“Then I hope he melts in a vat of misery and tears,” she spat.
Jana wiped her nose. “We’re sisters, though.”
“What’s going on out here?” Aunt Meggie demanded. She wore a cashmere robe, her damp hair streaming all around her. Obviously, Rebel had interrupted her parents. “Rebel, why haven’t you gone to feed Digger and get Cove?”
“I was hoping that motherfucker starved,” Rebel grouched.
Aunt Meggie scowled. “Cove hasn’t done anything.” She raised her hands. “Never mind. What happened between you and Jana?”
“I was mean to Rebel,” Jana admitted woefully. “I ordered her to accept Diesel’s apology and…and…”
Rolling her eyes, Rebel shook her head and threw Jana a putrid look. “I was jealous, Momma,” she said sullenly. “Diesel bought Jana a present that I wanted.”
“Which was?”
“A diamond tennis bracelet,” Diesel inserted, relieved that Rebel seemed to have changed her mind about involving her mother.
Jana lifted her arm and pulled back her sweater, revealing the piece in question.
Folding her arms, Aunt Meggie lifted a brow at Rebel.
“That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, Momma.”
“I see.”
Rebel rocked on her heels.
“Why is Jana crying when you called me sobbing?”
“It’s a long story.”
“It isn’t,” Jana wailed. “Diesel’s so sad because Rebel won’t forgive him. And…and I confronted her as her big sister.”
“Hmmmm,” Aunt Meggie said, pasting a smile on her face.
“I’m sorry, Meggie.”
“Apologize to my daughter, Jana. You didn’t interfere in my business.
You interfered in hers. Which, might I remind you, was quite risky.
Rebel asked me to invite you to LA with us, even though I went away for her.
She was worried about you. She’s your biggest champion and you are here while this idiot still has a wife who’s vicious.
Your presence can be very costly for him and Christopher and me.
Don’t you ever, and I mean ever, confront my daughter about a single thing. ”
She glared at Diesel, turned on her heel, and slammed the door.
Rebel cocked her head to the side and smiled at Jana. “Oops,” she said, and headed toward the gate.
Diesel was so fucked.
Jana doubled over in tears, sobbing.
Diesel looked at her. And walked away.