Chapter 39 – Rebel
It was ridiculous to feel so betrayed by Jana.
Rebel hadn’t intended to like her in the first place.
She’d hated her before they met and had sworn to despise her on sight.
Except that hadn’t happened. Mainly because of Diesel’s treatment of her and how Jana’s acceptance of his behavior appalled Rebel almost unto death.
Either Jana really was stupid and pathetic and didn’t recognize his actions were fucking wrong or she was stupid, pathetic and didn’t value herself not even a little bit.
Unfortunately, Rebel had to suffer her whining on the ride to Aunt Celia’s.
Momma rode on the back of Daddy’s bike. Because CJ was running late, Rebel couldn’t ride with him in Momma’s Lexus and whichever cousin he was chauffeuring.
She didn’t want to be bothered with Uncle Johnnie and Rory, so asking Aunt Kendall if Rebel could ride with them was out.
She tolerated Ryan but Devon was a bigger dickhead.
Even if they went with CJ, Harley would be with Uncle Val and Aunt Zoann, and Rebel still wasn’t sure how she felt about her cousin.
She didn’t hate her anymore; she wasn’t even angry. But she didn’t want to trust Harley again and accept her back into her life, then she stabbed CJ in the back, which would betray Rebel. Fuck with her brothers and it was war.
Uncle Cash was an asshole and a traitor, so Rebel refused to hitch a ride with Aunt Ophelia, Uncle Stretch, and their children.
Besides, Winnie would be clinging to Rebel soon enough.
Uncle Digger was a thief and an asshole, so…
nope. Besides, Aunt Bunny and Uncle Mort were coordinating with Lolly and Pop, so they could comfortably seat six adults (including Grant) and seven children.
Rebel didn’t want to deal with that, so she climbed in the back of Diesel’s Mercedes.
He wasn’t finished being a motherfucker for the day because he allowed Ryder to sit in the front passenger seat, told Ransom to sit between Jana and Rebel, then ordered Axel onto her lap.
Personally, Rebel would’ve pitched a bitch if he did that to her.
Before earlier, she would’ve ordered that fuckhead to allow Jana to switch places with Ryder.
But Rebel would choke on her own spit before she opened her fucking mouth.
Fuck Jana. Worse, Tabitha was there. Diesel left Jana on her own. Dickhead, caught between an idiot and a viper.
Now, everyone else had arrived. Momma and the aunts were helping Aunt Celia. Dinner would soon be served and then the big DNA party would begin.
Rebel had been so happy when she arrived home from LA.
A little tired, but mostly at peace. She’d seen Rule and she’d talked to Kaia.
She was still suspicious of him—who wouldn’t be under the circumstances after he ended up bald—but he still wanted to go steady with her and plan for their future no matter where he went to school.
She was happy to be home and was even looking forward to her classes tomorrow.
Then, she walked outside to do what Aunt Bunny asked and there was Diesel.
She just could not escape that fuckhead.
Worse, she said she still hated him but it wasn’t as fervent as it had been.
She’d weakened. If Jana hadn’t brought her stupid fucking ass there, Rebel would’ve forgiven Diesel.
That probably would’ve been the biggest mistake of her fucking life.
“Hey, Reb.”
Glancing over her shoulder at the sound of Mattie’s voice, Rebel nodded, then looked ahead again. She’d been outside sitting on the landing for nearly half hour. One, she had to escape Winnie. She mimicked every move Rebel made but cried at the drop of a fucking hat. Two, Jana.
Mattie dropped next to her.
“Hey,” Rebel said softly.
“What’s up?”
Rebel shrugged, not wanting to explore any of her emotions or think about the horror and humiliation from a few days ago. She put an arm around Mattie’s shoulder. “How are you?”
“Wishing I was anywhere else,” Mattie said miserably.
Rebel had noticed how Mattie shrank back when she walked into the house.
At the time, she’d thought it was because of all the unfamiliar bikers after recently suffering very traumatic experience.
But, maybe, it was for another reason. Though they were outside in the night air, tension bunched Mattie’s shoulders.
Sighing, Rebel dropped her arm. “When our newly christened uncle first rode into town, he was always showing up at Turn Creek. I’m sure Ryan, the idiot, confirmed whatever the fuck that big-mouthed Willard revealed.
I was lucky—” Although Ryan had almost died— “I wasn’t alone.
But I know you cut class sometimes. That’s the reason you almost fainted when you walked in, isn’t it? ”
“You noticed?”
“Yeah.”
“No one else did.”
“I think Daddy noticed, but then he got sidetracked by whoever. There are just so many motherfuckers in there.”
Mattie giggled. “That’s our family you’re calling motherfuckers.”
“Only some of them are human,” she grumbled. “The others are homo motherfuckus.”
“Homo erectus went extinct over a hundred thousand years ago,” Mattie said, still laughing.
“I know we’re homo sapiens. I don’t think homo motherfuckiens have the same ring.”
“You’re right.”
Rebel smiled, then laid her head on Mattie’s shoulder. “What did our wonderful uncle do to you?”
“I was high,” Mattie said, all humor gone. “Bash cornered me and if I hadn’t fought back…”
Without Mattie going into detail, Rebel already knew what could’ve happened, so she wouldn’t push her cousin for any more gory details about the encounter. “Is that why you haven’t told anyone?”
“Daddy went insane the night it happened and left for two days. Mama was almost catatonic. I didn’t have anyone to tell.”
“We didn’t tell anyone either when he confronted us,” Rebel confirmed, lifting her head again, allowing the cool breeze to wash away all the ugly thoughts.
They were on the outskirts of Hortensia, almost to the next town over, where some of the nicer houses were.
Streetlights dotted the subdivision, their gleam dulling the stars and the moon.
Admiring the beauty of the heavens always brought Rebel peace.
Tonight, she was sure it wouldn’t have mattered.
Her argument with Jana really upset her.
Rebel forced her attention back to the conversation. “I think Daddy found out about Rule stabbing Bash…Uncle Bash, though.” She got intel by listening very carefully, especially when Momma and Aunt Bunny were talking.
“Rule stabbed…?” Mattie’s eyes rounded. “Are you serious?”
“To save Ryan.” Despair rose in Rebel because she missed Rule so much. Their visit eased her but now that she was home, she was more aware than ever of his absence. “And because the voices told him to. Just like they told him to drown me.”
“Oh, Rebel—”
Rebel grabbed Mattie’s hand and squeezed.
“I miss Rule so much, but he’s doing so much better.
He’s thriving. If it took what he did to get him help, then I’d go through it again.
But it’s nothing compared to what Wally, Jr., Eric, Billy, and Wally the Warthog, did to you.
What fuckface Nardo and Ryan did to Harley. ”
“You shouldn’t ignore what happened to you, Reb.”
“Ryan…” Rebel almost blurted that their cousin had watched at least one of her videos, but Mattie would put it together and realize Ryan had watched her, too. So had Devon.
Assholes.
Rebel doubted Rory looked at indecent videos of his own sister, but what did she know.
She was that fuckhead’s cousin and he’d thought nothing of looking at her without clothes.
The thought mortified Rebel so much that her belly clenched.
She wanted it not to matter. She hoped that the more she pretended it didn’t matter, the sooner it would become the truth.
It was Mattie’s turn to lay her head on Rebel’s shoulder. “Have you ever thought about what you want to become when you get older?”
Mattie aspired to own a cybersecurity firm.
“Outside of Diesel’s wife or a special enforcer for the club?” Rebel shook her head, mourning the death of those dreams. But they’d just been childhood fantasies that reality crushed. Brutally.
“Couldn’t you be both?” Mattie’s question held no judgment, just genuine curiosity. “Diesel’s wife and the special enforcer?”
“If I was allowed to be a special enforcer, yes to that. I’m not, though.
I don’t think Momma should lose me and the boys to club life.
” Just as Kaia had said on their date. At the time, Rebel wasn’t too sure.
With everything that had happened, she knew Kaia was right.
“As for Diesel, he belongs to Jana and I’m fine with that. He’s happy. I’m also happy with Kaia.”
“I agree about you and Aunt Meggie.” Sitting up, Mattie clasped her hands together and shifted, looking as if she wanted to say more.
“What, Matt? Tell me.”
Chewing her lip, Mattie eyed her. “There’s more to life than being with a guy,” she muttered, almost too low for Rebel to hear.
Once, Rebel might’ve gotten insulted. Now, she agreed, especially since Momma said the same thing. “I know.”
“There’s especially more to life than Kaia and Diesel.”
“Kaia’s a good guy. I wish you liked him, Matt.”
She shrugged. “It’s not important if I like him, Reb. You’re the one with him. I’m just saying don’t rush into anything with him. Figure out your life first.”
“I’ve gone through so many changes recently…
” Rebel’s voice trailed off and she abandoned that topic.
“I don’t know what I want to be. If I don’t go to college, everyone will blame Momma.
Say she set a bad example for me, especially if you and Harley go.
Your mothers are career women. Momma’s a homemaker. ”
“Are you ashamed of Aunt Meggie?”
“Of course not! But I don’t want to be the one to bring anymore criticism on her.”