Chapter 10
Emerson~
I hated to admit it, but I was spending the rest of fifth period hiding in the girls’ restroom. I felt pretty safe because I knew that I wouldn’t have to see Ramsey for the rest of the day, and I needed to feel safe from his scrutiny and keen observations.
Ramsey had seen into the deepest, darkest, sickest parts of my soul, and it had unnerved the fuck out of me, being something that no one had ever been able to do before. Maybe my poker face wasn’t as solid as I thought because Ramsey had touched every nerve with each word he had spoken, and I was really starting to wonder if I was in over my head with the guy.
At a very young age, I had learned how to put on a brave face. I had learned how to stick up for myself and how to stare down bullies and thugs. I hadn’t taken crap from anyone, and I had held my emotions in check, lest I show any signs of weakness. Then, in one fucking week, Ramsey Reed had seen inside me and had noticed all my darkest sicknesses.
He’d been right about everything; I did get turned on by his strong hand. I did fantasize about how sinister he could be, and I did pray that his darkness wasn’t all an act. I actually worried that he would turn out to be a pussy.
When I’d gone home Monday night from the café, then had stared at my neck in the mirror, I’d been so turned on that it had taken everything that I’d had in me not to hunt Ramsey down and demand that he finish the job. The awful, awful, awful marks on my neck had made me wet and uncomfortable. I had even purposely worn the scarf the next day, hoping to piss him off enough that he’d put his hands on me again, and he’d had.
God, how he’d had.
When he had wrapped the scarf around my neck, then pulled it tight, I had almost climaxed. I’d felt the sensation building and building, and when he’d finally let go of me and the feeling had evaporated, I’d felt so empty that it had dawned on me what had happened.
Jesus Christ, I was so sick in the head.
I mean, really, really sick.
Normal people didn’t get off on violence.
Normal people didn’t enjoy bleeding or pain in a sexual capacity.
There’d been lots of times when my father would beat my mother, then drag her to the bedroom and take more from her. Since we had lived in a trailer the size of a goddamn shoebox, I could always hear what he’d been doing to her. It hadn’t taken years in therapy to figure out why I felt the way I did; why violence and sex went hand-in-hand for me.
No.
The problem stemmed from the fact that I was in no hurry to see a therapist to fix the issue. The way that I saw it was that I couldn’t be sure if my issues were real or not. I’d never had sex before, so I wasn’t entirely sure how I would react to being manhandled during sex. I might love it, or I might hate it enough to murder my partner.
I just didn’t know.
However, I wanted to find out, and I wanted to find out with Ramsey Reed. I just didn’t know how to go about it without completely surrendering myself to him, because something told me that, if I gave myself to Ramsey, there’d be no turning back until he was absolutely done with me.
I heard the bell ring, and I wanted to skip the trip to my locker, but I needed my calculus book. I knew that this school was run like no other, but at the end of all the weirdness and drama, I really wanted to graduate from high school. While I had no delusions that I would turn into someone significant, I still wanted to have my high school diploma, so that I could at least land a decent job.
I barely had my locker door open when I felt his heat enveloping me from behind. I knew that it was Ramsey because I was already accustomed to his scent and his nearness. Also, I doubted that any other guy in school would be stupid enough to get this close to me.
I felt his breath tickle my ear as he leaned down, saying, “There’s a party tonight at the lake.”
I shrugged a shoulder as I shuffled shit around in my locker, looking for my calculus book. “So?”
“I’ll expect you there at around ten,” he ordered.
I snorted. “You’re more cracked in the head than I thought if you think I’d willingly go to a party with a bunch of spoiled rich fucks, Ramsey.” Yeah, that was not my idea of fun, and not that I was being judgmental or an outright bitch, but in the short week that I’d been here, I’d caught enough students looking down their noses at me. The fuck if I would spend a night partying with them.
Ramsey pressed the front of his body against my back, and I could feel the bulge in his pants on my lower back again. “So, then does that mean that I have to take you unwillingly?”
I couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down my spine. I knew that Ramsey would never force himself on a girl, but the sick darkness that he was implying was bringing to light just how twisted I was. This situation was dangerous, and if I wasn’t so fucked in the head, I wouldn’t let Ramsey Reed anywhere near me.
I ignored his question. “I’m not going to a gathering for your sheep, Shepherd,” I reiterated. I found my calculus book, then immediately regretted it when I realized that I would have to turn around and face Ramsey.
The boy was hell on my nerves.
However, because I wasn’t a coward- or I tried not to be -I turned around to face him. I expected him to be drowning in smugness after he had run me out of class earlier, but he wasn’t. He was looking down at me with that same heat in his brown eyes that he always had when he looked at me.
Ramsey put his hands on my hips, then pulled my body towards his. “This isn’t up for debate, Emerson,” he said. “I expect to see you there.”
The shame and cowardice that he’d pulled from me earlier had me asking, “What do you want from me, Ramsey?”
His hands tightened on my hips, and I could hear him hiss through his teeth; like being physically near me was painful for him. “What is it you think I want from you, Emerson?”
I stared into his beautiful face and his intense gaze, then told him the truth. “I think that you’re bored with your perfect, privileged, wealthy life, and you need a new toy to play with.” He drew himself up to his full height but didn’t release my hips. “I think that everyone here grew up already knowing who was in charge, and so your life hasn’t been full of many challenges. But me…I’m a challenge to you. You’re testing out your power on me, and you’re pushing to see just what it will take to break me. I also think that you’re getting off on it.”
Ramsey’s eyes glowered at me, and that told me that I had pretty much hit the mark- or so I’d thought. One of his hands left my hip, and he brought it up to circle the back of my neck. He caressed the delicate skin for a fraction of a second before his hand snaked up into my hair, fisting it, then pulling my head back with enough grip to make it hurt. I swallowed the hiss on the tip of my tongue and faced him head-on.
“You’re right, Emerson,” he said. “I am bored. However, I have enough dirt on everyone in this town that I could ruin families left and right for entertainment purposes only if I was just bored.” His fist tugged, and I could feel wetness seep through my panties. “And you’re right about the challenges. I am in charge of this town, and everyone knows it. Nevertheless, I’m not testing you, Emerson.”
“Bullshit,” I spat.
The bastard smirked. “I’ll admit that I was in the beginning, but now…” His eyes scanned down my body lazily before returning to mine.
“But now, what?” I snapped.
This motherfucker actually started rubbing his dick against my stomach in full view of any random students milling around their lockers. “But now…now that I’ve had the taste of your lips on mine, now that I know what it feels like to have your body pressed up against mine, now that I know how wet your pussy gets when I hurt you…well, let’s just say that I still want to break you, Emerson. However, now I want to keep the broken pieces for myself.”
There was no doubt about it; staring into Ramsey’s eyes, searching for his words to be lies, I could see that they weren’t. Ramsey still wanted to break me, but he was serious about owning all those shattered shards.
I had to fortify myself against him.
I couldn’t let him lure me in.
“I’m not breakable, Ramsey,” I told him. “And if that’s the only way that you can handle me, then save yourself the trouble and leave me alone. There’s no shame in admitting that you can’t handle a strong woman.”
His hands dropped from my person without warning. One second, he was covering me, pulling my hair, and then the next, he was a foot away from me.
Ramsey Reed was one unstable sonofabitch.
His eyes were hooded, and his face was masked with indifference when he said, “You better be at that party tonight, Charity. You won’t like the consequences if you’re not.”
“Pick another girl, Ramsey,” I suggested, even though a tiny part of me ached at the thought.
He took a step back towards me, leaned down, then he tenderly kissed my lips with his. I wasn’t expecting it, so I knew that he could read the surprise all over my face. His hand skimmed across my jaw, as he said, “There isn’t another girl, Emerson. At least, none like you.” With that, I watched as he walked away.
I was so screwed.