Chapter 39
Ramsey~
I ’d never known a moment of regret before meeting Emerson, and it was ironic when you considered that I was going to feel that particular weight for the rest of my life now. No amount of money or power would ever be able to undo that morning at Windsor, and it was a miracle that Emerson was even willing to be seen with me, let alone be mine. Nonetheless, God had given me a miracle that I would never take for granted ever again, and whatever Emerson needed from me, she had it.
As I pulled into my parking spot at school, I could admit that my chest felt tight. While I knew that Emerson was strong enough to take on the entire student body at Windsor, it wasn’t anything that I wanted to see, especially if she was making me see if from the shadows.
It was also clear that Emerson really had no idea who I really was if she thought that she didn’t already have this entire town in the palm of her damaged hand. While she might believe that yesterday had been just for show, it hadn’t been. When I had offered her everything that was me, everyone in the hallway had been very aware of what that’d meant, even if Emerson hadn’t.
When I got out of my car, I looked to see Liam, Deke, and Roselyn waiting for us, and Roselyn didn’t look happy to see me at all, which might cause problems later. It was obvious that she was still mad at me, and even if it wasn’t going to do her any good, I could hardly blame her. What I’d done to Emerson was unforgiveable, and Roselyn would be a shitty best friend if she forgave me as easily as Emerson had.
Opening the door for Emerson, as soon as she got out, I shut the door, then grabbed her chin with my fingers. “There is only you,” I told her. “If I ever have to choose between you and anyone else, I will always choose you. I don’t give a fuck who the other person is.”
Her face immediately softened because she knew exactly what I was getting at. While Liam and Deke were the only other two people in the entire world that I loved to any degree, I would still choose Emerson over them if I had to. I could live a life without my two best friends at my side while Emerson wasn’t even an option at this point.
“Ramsey, that’s not necessary,” she said, making this much too easy on me. “I’d be a hypocrite to blame them for falling under the same spell as everyone else, including me.”
“Baby…” I sighed before kissing her forehead again, praying that she knew just how much I fucking loved her.
When I pulled back, Emerson gave me a quick nod before circling around me to go meet up with Roselyn. Though she knew better than to go too far, I had no choice but to give her this since I owed her and would owe her for the rest of my life.
As Emerson and Roselyn hugged, Liam didn’t bother dicking around. “Does she hate us?”
“You’re going to have to ask her,” I answered. “We didn’t spend much time talking about you guys last night.”
Deke snorted. “I would imagine not.”
I turned when I heard Roselyn pet the elephant in the room. “I’m so glad you’re back, and if you want to transfer to Manotile and say fuck it to all these losers, then let’s do it.”
“Hey,” I warned.
Roselyn turned those blue eyes of hers my way. “What? Is the truth giving you issues?”
“I’ll give you only so much leeway, Roselyn,” I informed her coldly. “Even if you are Emerson’s best friend here, you still need to watch your step.”
“Watch who you threaten, Ramsey,” Emerson remarked quietly. “This is one of those fights that I’m not afraid to fight.”
I turned to look at Emerson. “Ditto, baby.”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Liam announced as he made his way in between us. “First order of business are the apologies that Deke and I owe Emerson.”
“Oh, really?” Roselyn drawled out sarcastically. “You don’t say.”
Liam shot her a look. “Now is not the time, Roz.”
“Mmm,” she harrumphed, clearly pissed off at all three of us. “Well, then when is the time?”
“Keep it up, Linnie,” Deke warned.
Emerson remained quiet, not wanting to get into the middle of their crazy dynamics, and quite frankly, neither did I. I accepted whatever the three of them had going on, but I also knew that I could never share Emerson with anyone else, no matter the circumstances.
Turning back towards Emerson, Liam said, “We’re sorry, Em. We’re sorry for a lot of things.”
Then, in true Deke fashion, he said, “We’re sorry that we were wrong, but that’s it.”
Emerson arched a brow as she looked up at Deke. “I wasn’t confused about that, Deke. However, do not mistake my forgiveness for acceptance. What you guys did to me that morning will never happen again, and not because you guys might not try.”
“Then how can you be so sure?” Liam asked, though out of curiosity more than out of whatever Deke was doing.
Emerson looked back over at Liam, and her silver eyes narrowed seriously. “Because Ramsey will never get a third chance, and he knows it,” she informed him. “Because I don’t need anyone in this school, including you three. Because I will never not get even again.”
Liam threw his hands up in mock surrender. “Yeah, no problem.”
“Yeah, we hear you,” Deke added.
When Emerson looked my way, I said, “Baby, I’m not confused about any of this.”
Ignoring us once again, Roselyn hooked her arm through Emerson’s, then pulled her away from us. “Let’s get to class,” she said. “Screw those assholes.”
Emerson let out a quiet chuckle as she allowed Roselyn to escort her to class, and while Roselyn’s dismissal bothered me, I was wisely choosing my battles right now. No matter that Emerson had come back to me, I knew that she was still hurt, humiliated, and I had created a pocket of doubt in our relationship that would never go away. Emerson might love me, and she might have chosen me over doing the sane thing, but Emerson would never trust me completely, and that was my fault.
“Is she back for good?” Liam asked as we followed behind the girls.
“Yeah, she is,” I answered.
“Willingly?” Deke asked specifically.
“For now,” I told him truthfully. “That might change later.”
“Well, isn’t that fucking awesome,” Liam drawled out. “Like we haven’t done enough to the girl.”
“She came back on her own, Liam,” I reminded him. “Knowing what she was dealing with.”
“Ram’s got a point,” Deke added.
Liam just shook his head. “That’s what has me worried.”
I stopped in my tracks. “What do you mean?”
Deke and Liam stopped walking as well. “How do you know that she didn’t come back for revenge?”
Well, fuck.
“How do you know that she’s not here to ruin our lives?” he continued. “If I were you, I’d watch where I walk, Ramsey. It’s going to hurt like a motherfucker if she ends up pulling the rug out from under you. Fuck, from under us all.”
After a few seconds, I shook my head. “No. No…she’s back because she loves me.”
Liam’s blue eyes regarded me carefully. “I hope you’re right.”
“Well, isn’t this fucking fun,” Deke muttered before letting out a tired breath. “She’s either back because she’s forgiven Ram, or else she’s back to make us all pay. Lovely.”
“She’s back because she loves me,” I repeated.
“Just remember, this is a girl whose father killed her mother,” Deke remarked. “If she’s back here for revenge, I’d sleep with one eye open, Ramsey.”
I shook my head as I started walking across the schoolyard again, and my arrogance really needed to be checked if it never occurred to me that Emerson might be back here for revenge and not love. In fact, I could see her as the type of female that would have no problem cozying up to her worst enemy to exact a revenge worthy of her.
As I watched her walk beside Roselyn, my chest started to feel tight, and that’s when I realized that Emerson coming back was her revenge. I’d taken into consideration all her doubts and fears, but I hadn’t taken into consideration any of mine. I was going to spend the rest of my life grateful to fall asleep next to her every night, yet terrified of waking up alone every morning, and if that wasn’t the best revenge ever, then I didn’t know what was.
“She’s not going anywhere,” I told them. “Not if she wants me to suffer for what I did.”
“All women want us to suffer,” Liam huffed.
That got a grin out of me. “Yeah, Roselyn’s feathers are a bit ruffled.”
“Good thing I know exactly how to soothe them,” he retorted, making Deke laugh.